Losing
by SD130413
Summary: Olivia is in love but she seems to be destined to be unhappy. Elliot, ever the superhero comes around to fix things. Very E/O contains scenes of a sexual nature and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok here is my new fic! I hope you all enjoy it and of course lots of SMUT some Violence and very much E/O as well as Olivia with someone else!**

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**Olivia Benson's Apartment**

**June 3****rd**** 2008**

**7.13am**

Olivia woke up and slowly rolled onto her back as she slowly let go of all remnants of sleep.

"Good Morning." The low husky voice of the man beside her smiled.

She grinned and turned to look at the figure beside her. He was still lying on his stomach, his eyes close and facing her.

"Good Morning." She smiled leaning in and planting a kiss on his cheek.

"I love it when you do that." He smiled back as he opened his eyes and pulled her into his arms scooping her from behind.

"Mmh." She smiled as she closed her eyes and just felt his body around hers.

Olivia had been with Cole Jeffries for a year and six months now. He had dark brown hair kept short and neat and his eyes were a piercing blue. He was a Detective with Manhattan's missing persons unit and as they both worked many hours they treasured every moment together. However, today they had been planning for a few weeks. They'd both managed to secure a day off and were going to spend it together without any disruptions.

Cole slowly began kissing Olivia's neck making her giggle. She'd always been extremely ticklish but Cole loved that about her. Her giggle warmed his heart. He began to stroke her arms and her body react on its own, her head moved further to the side allowing more room for Cole to kiss her. A small moan escaped her lips as his hands drifted down to her hip. She felt the wetness pool between her legs and his erection against the back of her thigh. He was only wearing a thin boxer short and she a t-shirt and panties. His hands stroked the panty line by her stomach. She groaned again and he slowly climbed on top of her.

He looked into her dark chocolate eyes and smiled.

"What?" She smiled back seeing him staring.

"I haven't told you yet today that I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." Olivia smiled slipping her hands behind Cole's neck as she pulled him in for a kiss.

She nipped at his bottom lip making a low growling moan escape from her lips. She soothed it with her tongue as his tongue seeked permission to enter her mouth. As she granted it she felt his tongue dance on her own and as the kiss deepened their tongues fought for dominance. His kiss left her lips and slowly worked it's way down her neck to her shoulder. She giggled and seductively placed her finger between her teeth as he looked at her still kissing her.

"I think you're over dressed for this occasion Detective." He growled.

She sat up and he gently held her back as in one quick swipe her removed her t-shirt exposing her nubs which were already standing to complete attention. As he lowered her gently back to the bed he dropped a kiss right between the fleshy mounds, holding it as he felt her heart beat against his lips. His kiss slowly moved the right as his hand stroked up her body stopping at the left breast. He kissed around her bud whilst his hand squeezed and stroked the left mound. Knowing exactly what she liked he flicked the bud with his tongue making her gasp with pleasure. His hand rolled the left bud in his fingers as he began to suck and nip at the right one. Olivia moaned with pleasure as the ache between her legs slowly grew stronger. Knowing how long until she would be calling for him inside her he began to lower his kisses. Working his way down her toned abdomen, all the way down to playful drop his tongue into her belly button making her squeal with laughter.

When his kiss reached her panty line he took his finger and stroked her slit through the thin red material. She moaned and cupped her own breasts as her back arched. He just smiled and slowly began to remove the panties. He made his fingertips stroke down her long legs and once at her feet pulled them off in one easy swipe. He stroked the inside of her leg as he worked his way back up to her centre. Once there he took her hand and pulled her to sitting. She knew he liked to be able to look into her face when she came and so she propped herself up against the head board. He took her legs and bent them up a little as he separated them so her fee lay next to his shoulders. With his thumb he stroked the glistening wet slit and she reacted with a moan, squeezing her own breasts and biting down on her bottom lip, he back arching at his touch.

"You're very wet Detective." He grinned at her reaction.

She reached for his hand and pulled it to her lips. She sucked gently at the thumb taking in her own wetness that lingered there.

"You're right, you should be a Detective." She winked as he laughed gently.

_God!_ She loved that laugh.

Once his hand was free from her grasp he once again stroked her entrance. She moaned, wanting, needing him inside of her. He could see from the way her back arched that it was time and slowly he slipped one finger deep into her. She let out a small gasp and a smile as he slowly twisted his hand. For a moment, he just held it and allowed her responding hips to do the work but knowing that it wasn't enough he slipped a second finger inside making her gasp again. He slowly started to pump, keeping the speed down as he lowered his tongue to her clit. He swiped at it gently and her body shivered with pleasure. He smiled before repeating the action, keeping in perfect tandem with his working fingers.

"I'm, oh, I'm gonna, Cole, oh!" Her yells became louder as he slowly increased the speed.

"That's it baby." He beamed as her hands worked her upper body as his fingers worked the bottom.

Seeing how close she was he pulled his fingers out and lowered his lips. He felt her hands around the back of his head pushing his tongue deeper inside of her.

"Oh my God, Jesus, Cole, I'm, Ahhhhh Cole!" She screamed his name as she came.

He continued to lick, taking in every ounce of her release as she slumped into the head board.

Once he'd cleaned her up, he looked at her and she wrapped her arms around his neck leaning in to kiss him, taking in the wetness still dancing on his lips.

"Did I ... ever ... tell you ... how ... good ... you ... taste." He smiled in between each kiss.

"Every time." She whispered. "Now..." She flipped him onto his back and climbed on top of him. "Let me take care of you." She grinned as she bent her body over and kissed him.

"I'm at your mercy Olivia." He laughed.

She nipped at his chin a smile on both their faces. Her hands worked down his abdominals not wanting to wait. As she reached his boxers he arched his body so she could pull them off his erection finally freed. She took it in her hands and stroked the tip in circular motions with her thumb. He groaned, a deep husky growl, as she slowly removed her thumb and used her tongue to follow the same route.

"Mmm wait." He said pulling her face to his own.

"What is it?" She asked the pang of rejection unmistakable in her voice.

"I want to cum inside you." He smirked.

He flipped her over so she was lying back on the bed. He checked that she was ready for him with her thumb before slowly teasing her entrance with his shaft. Inch by inch he entered her making her moan softly. Once inside her she smiled at how he perfectly filled her, hitting all the right places.

He took one of her hands in his own and cupped it between their chests as he slowly began to move. Her body reacted by moving with him in perfect unison. The movement was slow at first, they were making love not having sex. She welcomed the growing speed with moans and gasps of delight.

Even though she was still recovering from her first release she held on clamping down on him and they reached their climax together, in perfect unison. They called out each other's names in perfect harmony. He lay his head down on her chest knowing how she liked to just feel him inside her. Even their breaths were in sync with each others as they slowly recovered.

"Now, I'm going to run us a hot bath whilst ..." He was cut off by the ringing of Olivia's phone.

"Shit." She groaned seeing the caller ID. "Benson." She answered trying to keep her breathing steady and hide what she had just been doing. "What is it? Right. Yeah. I will. Ok. See you soon. Bye." She hung up the phone and looked into Cole's sapphire eyes.

"What is it?" He asked.

"That was Cragen, high profile case just in, two kids kidnapped and he's asking for both of us." She explained.

"Both of us?" He asked.

"Yeah, he knew that we were both off today and we were spending today together and as its missing people there's no harm in having your help." She smiled. "Now about that bath, let's just share a shower and get to work." She smiled.

He climbed off of her and took her hand leading her into the en suite. He switched on the shower and they both stepped into the water together. He grabbed the shower gel and deposited some onto the flannel before beginning to wash her. She grabbed the shampoo and washed her hair as he washed her body. Then they switched she washed his body as he did his own hair. There was nothing sexual about it. It was just simply cute.

Once out of the shower Olivia began blow drying her hair as Cole dressed. She wanted to groan at how his body disappeared under his clothes but she kept trying to look at herself in the mirror. Once he was dressed he disappeared to make coffee leaving Olivia to focus on getting ready. As long dark brown hair began to dry her mind drifted off to the man in her kitchen. She had never felt for anyone the way she felt for Cole. The way he could make her melt by looking at her was truly magical, his Sapphire eyes and olive skin turned her into butter.

Knowing that she should be off she couldn't be bothered looking for her work clothes, instead she opted for a pair of figure hugging jeans, the pair she had worn when she had met Cole in the cop bar after a hard day. She slipped on a long sleeved white T and a flimsy gray cardigan. It took her five minutes to expertly put some basic makeup on and once done she reached to the drawer in her bedside cabinet pulling both hers and Cole's belts.

She went into the kitchen and found Cole had made them a slice of toast and coffee in travel mugs. He took her belt from her and planted a kiss on her forehead before they both expertly slipped the belts on checking that their guns, badges and handcuffs were secure.

"Ready?" He asked grabbing both their keys from the side table.

She nodded and grabbed her purse as they both slipped into their shoes. He took her hand in his own as they walked to the police Sudan that he kept. She had never bothered with one herself, not seeing the need.

When they arrived at the car Cole pulled her in to himself. Wrapping his arms around her back and kissing her passionately.

"Don't... please ..." She moaned as he kissed her.

"Why?" He asked as he let her go.

"Because I want to ravish you again and we have to go to work." She explained regretfully.

He nodded and opened the passenger door for her. He was always the perfect gentleman.

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**Ok so not an E/O chapter but this is an E/O story, it's just going to take some time to get there. **

**Please review and make me smile! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to El, 11Alexandria7,Cfhonan, Ivyfern for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

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**Manhattan SVU Squad room, Manhattan, New York**

**June 3****rd**** 2008**

**8.54 am**

"Good morning." Olivia smiled as she and Cole arrived at her desk.

"Morning." Elliot replied gruffly not taking his eyes away from the computer screen.

Olivia sighed as she went over to her locker to deposit her purse. Elliot hadn't been very welcoming of her relationship with Cole. He'd told her many times that he didn't like the guy but he'd been the same with every guy she had ever been with and though he may have been right about most of them he wasn't right about Cole. Having been with him for a year and a half she thought that he'd have been over it by now.

He watched as Cole and Olivia placed their things away. Elliot wanted to spit at Cole every chance he got, he was dirt and the way he looked at Olivia, it was like he was always undressing her with his eyes. It drove Elliot mad. He'd warned her that she would get hurt, even though the relationship now was serious he still didn't trust the guy. And he'd warned him. The second he got Cole on his own he had him against the wall warning him that if he ever hurt Olivia then he would have a big problem. Cole had surprised him by not telling Olivia. When he saw her the day after the warning he'd give Cole she hadn't said anything and that proved to him that Cole had been clever enough to keep his mouth shut as Olivia would have killed him had she found out. She'd already had plenty of arguments with him regarding him interfering in her love life.

"Right gather round!" Cragen yelled from the screens.

Olivia and Cole followed Elliot, Fin and Munch to the screens where the information regarding their case was staring them in the face.

Munch stepped forward, he was the lead detective on this case and he would be presenting it to the rest of the squad.

"Ok Melissa and Michael Daniels, twins age 4 were taken from their beds in the early hours of this morning, their parents were both found murdered. The AMBER alert has so far come up with nothing of use but CSU found blood that doesn't belong to either Melissa or Michael but did pop in databank with Mr Ronald Briggs. Mr Briggs was arrested in 1984 for rape and homicide of both Hannah and Carina Richards. He pled down to manslaughter two for lack of evidence. He was released in 1999 and has been off the radar ever since leading what seems to be a normal life. When we searched his home we found that he worked at a gas station, he went to regular AA meetings and even has a fiancé." Munch explained.

"Thanks Munch. Alright so we need to track down Briggs and fast. Benson and Jeffries thanks for coming in. I want the two of you and Stabler to go the gas station and find out whatever you can. Munch and Fin follow up on any leads from the AMBER Alert that has the slight possibility of being true. Get back to me with whatever you can. Go." Cragen dismissed them and Olivia, Elliot and Cole grabbed their jackets.

"Meet you there." Olivia said dropping a peck on Cole's cheek.

She knew better than anyone not to push Elliot and Cole to hang out together. Cole had been reasonable and put up with a lot of shit from Elliot but Olivia wasn't about to make them spend time together when they had a case. She knew it was better for her to go with Elliot than Cole as he would otherwise lecture her about the fact that she was his work partner and Cole had only been drafted in because Cragen didn't want to really spoil her day off.

Once in the car Elliot turned to Olivia.

"How come you're not riding with Jeffries?" He asked as he fired up the engine.

"Because this is an SVU case and I'm your partner Elliot." Olivia sighed as he turned his attention back to the road.

"I know, I just thought you'd prefer to meet me there instead." Elliot shrugged.

"Just because you don't like Cole I do Elliot, you've had over a year to get over the fact that he might hurt me and you really need to grow up. He's a good cop and I've had enough of you being so childish when he has to work with us." Olivia groaned. She wasn't about to sit through a whole drive with Elliot moaning about her boyfriend.

"I wasn't going to say anything else Olivia, but I though seeing as this is one of very few times you work together that you'd have preferred to ride with him. That's all." Elliot sighed, he knew she was right but he was a stubborn git and wasn't about to give into her.

"Then we'd have argued about that, just shut up and drive Stabler." She growled.

He knew better than to continue so he silently turned his full attention back to the road.

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**Joshua's Gas Station, Manhattan, New York**

**June 3****rd**** 2008**

**10.36 am**

"I'm Detective Stabler this is Benson and Jeffries, we're looking for some information on a Mister Ronald Briggs." Elliot explained to the spotty college kid behind the counter.

"Well I'm the only person here at the moment but I might be able to help. What do you want to know?" The kid asked.

"We need to know when Briggs was last here." Olivia replied.

"That's easy he was here just over an hour ago filling up his van, said he was going on a long trip." The kid replied as Olivia whipped out her phone.

"Did he say where he was going?" Jeffries asked.

"I asked and all he said was 'up north' that's all he said." The kid answered.

Elliot looked at Jeffries and Jeffries looked at Elliot as they both tried to think what to do next.

"Guys Captain is sending unmarked cars we need to guess if there is anywhere he would take them." Olivia said watching the two men nervously.

"Is there anywhere up north he'd mentioned to you in the past kid?" Jeffries asked.

"He told me once he had a hut in Mount Vernon." The kid suggested.

"Thanks Kid, stick around and a couple of uniformed officers will come ask you more questions." Jeffries replied before the three of them skidded out.

Olivia had texted all the information to Munch who rang her straight away.

"Ok, yeah, we're on our way. Bye." Olivia hung up.

"Munch is texting me the address and told us to get to Mount Vernon and fast." Olivia explained.

The three of them ran to the cars and dived inside. The sirens blared and the lights flashed as they made their way.

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**Ronald Briggs Cabin, Mount Vernon, New York**

**3****rd**** June 2008**

**11.09 am**

As the cops all dived from their cars a scream echoed from the cabin. Elliot looked at Olivia as they pulled out their guns.

"Go back." Elliot mouthed to Jeffries so that he would take the back entrance.

Jeffries nodded and careful to avoid any windows went to the back house.

Without a radio's he sent Olivia a blank text and when she got it she knew that it meant he was there. Olivia and Elliot walked to the front door and Olivia took the lead.

"Ronald Briggs open up it's the police." Olivia yelled after knocking on the door.

Just when they were about the break the door down one single gunshot echoed through the air.

"Shit!" Olivia yelled.

Olivia grabbed her radio.

"Shots fired! Shots fired!" She yelled into it knowing that more cops were on their way.

Just then two frightened kids ran through the door with Jeffries.

The little girl dived into Olivia's arms and she scooped her up.

"Hi Melissa my name's Olivia you're safe now." Olivia smiled as Cole held Michael.

"He shot himself, I saw it through the door." Cole explained as they made their way over to the car.

Olivia stroked Melissa's golden hair as the child sobbed into her shoulder.

"We need to get these two back to Manhattan." Jeffries sighed as he gently rocked Michael in his arms.

"Why don't the two of you go and I'll wait for Melinda." Elliot suggested.

Olivia couldn't believe what he'd just said. That wasn't like him, he would have normally suggested that the kids be taken by uniformed officers and Olivia would have to wait for Warner.

"Go now!" Elliot exclaimed and Olivia nodded.

She and Cole gently placed the kids in the car. Olivia climbed into the middle seat and both the kids wrapped their arms around her. She gave a nod to Cole who was watching her in the mirror.

The drive to Manhattan took thirty minutes. The children slowly fell into uneasy sleep and Olivia knew they'd probably been up most of the night, now they were safe they knew it was ok to sleep.

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**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**3****rd**** June 2008**

**12.28 am**

Cole and Olivia both carried a child up to the squad room. Cragen came over to them a gentle smile on their face.

"Why don't you take them up to the cribs, CPS won't get here for a few hours so they should rest." Cragen suggested.

"Of course." Olivia replied.

Together Cole and Olivia took the sleeping children into the cribs and placed them down on the lump cots. Olivia slowly tucked them under the thin blankets and climbed onto a third cot knowing it best not to leave them alone in case they woke up scared.

Cole sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She welcomed his touch by rubbing her cheek against his.

"You know, you're really good with kids." Cole whispered lightly into her ear.

"Thanks." She smiled not taking her eyes away from the sleeping bodies.

"You'd make a great Mom." He added.

She shivered. They hadn't had this conversation before, he knew about her past, but he had no idea about her fear of motherhood.

"What's the matter?" He asked turning her to look at him.

"I would make an awful Mother." She explained dropping her gaze to her lap.

"No you wouldn't! You were at ease with these two, and they reacted well to you. I've rescued kids before now who won't go anywhere near anyone. Melissa just grabbed you and I think she sensed that you were kind." Cole explained dropping a kiss onto her head.

"Yeah well I don't like the genes I'd be passing on to any children." She sighed.

"Why? You're the perfect woman. Your kind, gentle, caring, warm, loving, and very sexy." He replied making her smiled.

"Yes with a mother that was an alcoholic and a rapist for a father." Olivia sighed.

"That doesn't matter, you turned out just perfectly." He said embracing her.

"Thanks." She smiled giving him a kiss on the cheek.

There was a knock on the cribs door but Olivia didn't move from his arms instead she just lifted her eyes as Elliot walked in.

"How are they?" Elliot asked raising his eyebrows towards the sleeping children.

"They'll be alright now." Olivia explained also turning to look at the kids.

"CPS are here." Elliot explained his reasons for coming up.

"Oh... yeah, I'll wake them and bring them down now." Olivia sighed knowing that this was always the hardest part.

Slowly, she climbed off the cot and slowly shook both children awake. Cole once again lifted Michael whilst Olivia took Melissa, both kids too tired and to drained to attempt to walk. Together they took the kids to the precinct where a member of CPS was waiting.

"Right Melissa, Michael. You're going to be going with this lady now. She's going to take care of you." Olivia explained.

Both kids reacted simultaneously. They wrapped their arms around Olivia's neck almost knocking her off balance.

"Please don't make us go." Michael whimpered.

"Why can't we stay with you?" Melissa sobbed.

Olivia had always hated this part. Every time they had a case that involved children they seemed to get attached to her and she to them.

"Where are you taking them?" Jeffries asked as Olivia tried to reassure the kids.

"They'll spend the next few nights in an emergency home until the mother's sister can get to New York. She lives in California and is a single parent trying to figure out how she is going to get these two to California." The woman from CPS explained.

"What about us? Can't they stay with myself and Olivia? I have the room." Cole suggested making everyone but the children stare at him.

"Cole ..." Olivia began but he shook his head.

"What's the point in stressing them out anymore Olivia, their parents are dead and they will be moving to another state and have you seen those emergency homes? Don't put them through anymore pain." Cole explained.

Olivia knew he was right. The emergency homes she had delivered children to in the past had always broken her heart.

"Well if you both agree, we would have to have your house checked, I'm guessing seeing as you're members of the NYPD that we won't find anything on you in a background check so I don't see a problem." The woman shrugged.

Olivia bit her bottom lip. She knew what Cole said was right but she somehow didn't think she'd be able to cope handing the kids over to their aunt.

"Ok." Olivia nodded seeing everyone waiting for her to say something.

"Ok well I'll draft the paper work and have someone available to check your home." The woman smiled extending her hand to Cole.

He shook it before bending down beside the children.

"Are you ok with coming to stay with me and Olivia until your aunt can come and get you?" Cole asked.

They looked at him. Their eyes wide and smiles filled their faces. It lifted Olivia's heart seeing them smile, they threw their arms around Cole and he beamed returning the gesture.

"Get that paper work and fast." He told the woman who nodded and rushed off.

"Olivia, my office." Cragen said and Olivia knew she was in trouble.

She looked at Cole who nodded and took the kids to her desk and she slowly made her way to the Captain's office. He told her to sit down and as she made her way to the chair she felt the fear build inside of her. Her heart threatened to bounce out of her chest as she nervously sat down. Cragen said nothing as he took his seat behind the desk.

"I'm sorry, I had no ..."

"Don't Olivia." He interrupted.

She sank back in the seat and let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding. Her chest felt suddenly tight and constricted and wasn't sure what was going through Cragen's mind.

"Are you sure you're ok with this?" He asked eventually.

She looked at her lap unsure how to answer.

"I uh, I think so, I just , I uh..." She found herself unable to speak.

The words clung to the tip of her tongue whilst her mind slowly tries to work out how to let them out.

"Take your time Olivia." Cragen smiled his voice soft and gentle.

It soothed her, his voice affected her mind and slowly her thoughts seem to make sense.

"I'm scared." She whispered. "I'm scared I'll get attached."

"That's understandable Olivia." He replied his voice still soft.

"What happens when the aunt picks them up and I have to just hand them over? What happens if they don't want to go? What if ..." She took another deep breath as she calmed herself back down. "What if I don't want them to go?" She whispered as tears stung her eyes.

"That's what I'm afraid of too." Cragen sighed. "It's your choice. I can call child protective services right now and explain that you can't take them if that's what you want." Cragen's hand hovered over the telephone on his desk.

"No. No don't do that, I'll be fine, I'm just being daft." Olivia shrugged. "I'll be fine and Cole has already told the kids now and I can't disappoint them." Olivia explained.

"Ok. Once CPS has been with the papers you and Cole head off with the kids." Cragen smiled getting to his feet. "And you're off until they're gone so just keep me in the loop." He explained.

"Sure thing Cap." She whispered and as quickly as she could manage she left the room and headed to her desk.

Melissa and Michael were both leaning on it drawing pictures with the pens Cole had managed to gather from her pot. Olivia leant into him as he wrapped his arm around her back, his thumb stroking her hip.

"They'll be alright." He whispered into her ear.

"I know." She replied softly.

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**Olivia and Cole looking after twins? Where is this story going? I have no idea as I've not got that far but read on and you can find out!**

**Please Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to Katmor. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**For anonymous reviewer who didn't like it ... now worries just don't come back! **

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**Cole's Apartment, Manhattan, New York**

**June 4****th**** 2008**

**5.21 am**

Olivia had just got back into bed after soothing yet another nightmare. It had been a long night with Melissa and Michael waking up on a regular basis and in the process waking each other up. She and Cole had been up and down like yo-yo's trying to slowly soothe them back to sleep.

"They went quicker this time." He whispered as he slipped his arms around her waist.

"Yeah I just wonder how long till they wake up again." She replied cuddling into him as best she could.

"Well if they wake up again they may not go back, it's half five now." Cole explained.

"Good point, if they wake up again I'll get them up." Olivia replied as she also felt awake now.

"What should we do today?" He asked knowing that she wasn't trying to sleep.

"We should go shopping, get the kids some clothes. I washed their clothes from yesterday so they'll do for today." Olivia replied knowing that they had nothing for the children.

"Ok how about we go shopping then we'll go out for lunch and then we'll go to the park or the movies, something to keep the kids minds off what happened." Cole suggested as he carefully walked his fingers up Olivia's bare arms.

"Sounds good to me, Cragen wants the kids to have a sit down with Huang so I said we'd take them after tea. Make sure we're happy and that they're settled with us first." Olivia explained remembering the conversation she'd had with Cragen when he'd called to check up on them the previous evening.

"Ok that's not a problem." Cole smiled planting a kiss on her arm.

"He also wants me to sit down with Huang." She sighed as he stopped his actions and peered over to look at her Chocolate eyes.

"Why?" He asked seeing Olivia was hesitant to elaborate.

"He doesn't want me getting too attached to the kids." She sighed. "Huang apparently agrees which shows Cragen spoke to him anyway."

"Are you going to sit down with Huang?" Cole asked.

"No, I told Cragen I wouldn't need to. Cragen said I have to after the kids have gone or I'm not allowed back. That's crap but I will just for a quiet life." Olivia explained.

"Fair enough." Cole replied just as a loud scream echoed across the apartment.

"Get the coffee on." Olivia sighed as she dragged herself to her feet.

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**Central Park, Manhattan, New York**

**June 4****th**** 2008**

**12.44 pm**

"Tick you're it!" Melissa yelled hitting her brother lightly on his shoulder.

Olivia smiled and leant further into Cole as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She'd had a permanent smile on her face since they'd had breakfast that morning. Her mood light since the children seemed to be happy. It made Cole happy too. He was worrying about how Olivia would be when the children finally left but for now he was happy to see her so happy.

"What time are we going to the one six?" He asked her knowing that they had to take the children to visit Huang.

"Six thirty, squad room will be quieter then." Olivia explained.

"Ok, we'll go for tea around four thirty because these two take forever to eat." Cole laughed gently.

"Sounds like a plan." She smiled turning to face him.

He couldn't resist her rose lips. He took them into his own and she didn't resist. Her hand cupped her cheek as the passionate kiss deepened.

"Wwww Cole and Olivia sitting in the tree ..." Olivia laughed as Melissa and Michael's taunts echoed across the park.

"Hey enough of that!" Olivia laughed jumping to her feet.

Cole followed suit as both detective's began to chase the children, their squeals of delight echoing across the park.

****

**McDonald's Restaurant, Manhattan, New York**

**June 4****th**** 2008**

**5.55 pm**

"Thank you Olivia, Thank you Cole." Melissa smiled as she scrunched up the paper from her burger.

"Yeah Thank you Olivia, Thank you Cole." Michael repeated placing his paper into the box of his happy meal.

"Did you enjoy that?" Olivia laughed softly as both children had eaten every scrap of their food.

"Yes we did."

"Very much."

Olivia laughed, the two had a visible close bond and it reminded her of Elliot's twins Lizzie and Dickie when they had been this age.

"Right come on, we need to be going." Cole smiled getting to his feet.

"Don't forget your toys." Olivia smiled picking up the free gift that had come with the happy meal.

Both the kids took theirs and smiled as their free hands slipped into the adult beside them. Olivia smiled but she knew that in a while she'd be comforting the kids again after their talk with Huang.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**June 4****th**** 2008**

**6.28 pm**

Olivia watched as Huang led the kids up the stairs. They both nervously glanced at her and she smiled and nodded reassuringly. She sat down at her desk and wondered how they would be after their talk.

"Olivia, Cole, can we have a word?" Cragen called from the door to his office.

The couple walked there and went inside to find who he meant by 'we'. The CPS worker who had helped them with Melissa and Michael was there a light smile on her face.

"News on the aunt?" Cole asked his hand around Olivia's waist.

"Yes and I'm afraid it isn't good." The woman replied her smile vanishing.

"What is it?" Olivia asked her heart rate increasing dramatically.

"The aunt has called and explained that there is no way she can take custody of the twins, being a single mother of four she struggles to make ends meet as it is and she hasn't seen the twins since they were babies." The woman explained.

Olivia could feel herself shaking.

"So what now?" She asked her voice a whisper.

"Well it depends on you two." The woman sighed. "If you're happy to keep them until we find them a more permanent residency which could take a few weeks we'd be very grateful."

"Of course we will." Cole replied. "Or at least I think?"

He turned to look at Olivia who just managed a weak nod.

"What do you mean a more permanent residency?" Olivia asked her voice shaking as she turned to look at the smartly dressed business woman in front of her.

"Either someone willing to foster them long term until someone adopts them or a family who wants to adopt them, the chances are they'd be split up." The woman explained.

"Split up? Those kids have been through hell and you're going to split them up? All they have is each other you insensitive ..."

"That's enough Olivia!" Cragen warned interrupting her.

"What about us?" Cole asked quickly feeling Olivia's temper verging close to bursting.

"What do you mean us?" Olivia asked turning her whole body until she was facing him.

"We couldn't allow you to foster them long term as you don't live together." The woman said before Cole could answer Olivia making them both turn back to her.

"We have been looking for a place, it wouldn't take long for us to move in together in a place big enough for the four of us." Cole explained.

"I think this is something you two need to discuss in privet." Cragen explained seeing Olivia had gone very quiet and withdrawn. "Stay here and talk, we'll be outside."

Olivia watched as Cragen and the CPS worker left and she turned to Cole.

"I understand if you don't want to Olivia." He whispered realising that he'd jumped the gun.

"I don't know. I do want to but ..."

"Then what's the problem, we said we were moving in together once your lease was up which is next week. It won't take long for us to find a three bedroom place and it isn't like I don't have the money to buy it." He sighed, he hated the fact that he was a trust fund baby but having a full time job he rarely spent it.

"I can't look after them just until someone adopts them and I can't watch them be split up Cole." She sighed tears prickling her eyes.

"Then we adopt them Olivia." He smiled. "It's easy enough."

"I'll be an awful mother!" She exclaimed. "They need stability not me."

The tears ran down her cheeks as Cole took her into an embrace.

"Now that is enough, you've been amazing with them since they've been with us and you'll continue to be enough for them. We can give them that stability Olivia, my mother and sister have been telling me for a long time that you and I should have children and my excuse was we were too busy with work to which they replied they'd be there to help. We don't have to worry about anything. If you want to give this ago we can long term foster with the possibility of adopting in a few months once you see that you're a great Mom." Cole explained as she held her head to her chest.

"Ok, then let's do it." She smiled softly as he planted a kiss on her head.

She was nervous and downright terrified. Every time she'd envisaged herself as a mother the images of her own childhood had invaded her mind making her decide that motherhood was something she'd never be able to do.

Cole looked through the blinds and nodded his head towards Cragen who knew it meant they'd decided. He took the woman back into the office and they all sat down. Olivia kept her hand in Cole's as she shook with nerves.

"We want to long term foster with the possibility of adopting later on." She said her voice quivering.

"Ok, once you have a permanent residency together we can sort all that out. We don't have to worry about background checks of course which makes this process a little easier. We will have to make sure you have the relevant support system I believe there is an extended family?" The woman asked.

"Only on my side, my mother and sister who will both be a very willing support system for me and Olivia." Cole replied feeling Olivia's palms sweat in his own.

"Good, ok well for now we'll leave everything until you have a permanent residency. How long can we wait for that?" The woman asked pulling some documents from her tan briefcase.

"Give us a week." Cole replied knowing that they needed to find the perfect home.

"A week? Is that enough? I don't want you to rush things." The woman exclaimed.

"A week is enough, Olivia's lease comes to an end next week and we'd slowly moved a lot of her things to my place anyway which I own outright, money isn't an issue either which of course you'll need to know when the time comes for long term fostering but these two will not be split up and we will fight as if our lives depend on it." Cole smiled feeling Olivia relax a little beside him.

"I'm glad to hear it. Just sign these papers for now and then I'll leave my business card and you can contact me when you have moved in." The woman smiled realising Cole and Olivia had saved her a lot of work and would continue to do so if they went through with the adoption.

Cole and Olivia both smiled as they signed the relevant paper work reading and re-reading some sections to make sure they understood exactly what they were signing.

Once the forms were signed the woman who Olivia learned was called Abigail Lewis left and Olivia relaxed into one of the office chairs knowing that Cragen wasn't quite done with them.

"You sure you can do this?" He asked. "Not that I doubt you in anyway but I want to make sure you are."

"Am I sure? No. Am I willing to give it a good go? Yes." She replied firmly.

"I'm glad to hear it and speaking of support systems from your side, you do realise you can put me down. I'd really like it if you would put me down." His voice was almost a whisper when he spoke the last sentence.

Olivia just grinned at him. Donald Cragen had always been a father figure since the moment she had met him. He made his place in her life not only as a Captain but a friend and surrogate father.

"Thank you." She replied as the tears once again built in her brown eyes.

"Yes Thank you." Cole smiled knowing that having Cragen behind Olivia would drive them ever forward.

"You have plenty of holidays to take Olivia, why don't you take a week. I recommend you talk to your Captain and do the same. Find somewhere to move, get the kids into a school and settle down. Then if you need some more time, just let me know." Cragen smiled.

"That would be a big help Cap thanks." She beamed.

"And when you're moving let us all know and I'll get someone else to cover SVU for a few hours whilst myself, Munch, Fin and Elliot give you a hand." Cragen smiled at his detective. "Why don't you go out there and tell them the good news." He suggested.

"Actually, Cap if you don't mind. Can we keep this between us until it's down in black and white. I don't want to get my hopes up too much just so they get dashed." Olivia explained her eyes on the floor again.

"That's no problem Olivia, but your hopes won't get dashed. I'll make sure of that." Cragen smiled.

****

**How cute! Olivia becoming a Mommy. Iiip, I do promise though that this is E/O love story but you're just going to have to wait for it. **

**Please Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

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**Cole Jeffries's Apartment, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 9****th**** 2008**

**11.31 am**

"Don't leave anything behind kids!" Olivia yelled as Melissa and Michael rushed through the door.

"They seem happy." Cole laughed as he slipped his arms around her waist.

"I promised them takeout pizza for tea." Olivia laughed as she sunk into Cole's embrace.

He rested his chin on her shoulder and slowly rocked her from side to side. Her hands were on his arms and she smiled, feeling his warmth.

"When are the first tenants moving in?"Olivia asked.

"Friday." Cole replied his eyes shut as he rested his cheek on Olivia's neck.

"I can't believe you're not selling this place." She laughed.

"I don't see the point in the current market and anyway, you and I won't see a penny of the rent." He laughed gently.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked having had nothing to do with Cole's decision about his apartment.

"The money goes straight into an empty account in my name and the splits into two and into a trust fund for Melissa and Michael." He explained.

Olivia jumped and turned to look at him, her eyes wide with surprise.

"You've opened trust funds for them?" Olivia asked.

"Yup, it will one, help us with the adoption should we chose to go down that route or two, make sure they have something or their future whatever happens to them." Cole explained.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a deep kiss on his neck.

"Put him down!" Munch laughed as he entered the apartment.

Olivia laughed as she let Cole go.

"Hi Munch!" She smiled as she scooped him into an embrace.

"Hey Liv. What needs to be done?" He asked having been rallied in to help her move.

"Why aren't you at the house?" She asked having made sure to send everyone the address of their new townhouse.

"Cragen said I was in the way." He shrugged.

Olivia laughed.

"How could you be in the way in a house that big? You could have completely vanished if you wished!" Olivia explained.

"Oh well, he sent me here to find what was taking you all so long." Munch shrugged.

"There's a few boxes in the bedroom and then just us." Olivia smiled still unsure that this was real.

The past few days had been bliss. She and Cole had gotten the kids into a nice privet catholic school, having agreed that they would get the best education if they went to catholic school and after a lot of arguments Cole had agreed Olivia could pay for half the fees. They had found a house almost instantly. Olivia hadn't been sure of it at first. The nine bedrooms, eleven bathrooms, large kitchen, dining room, library, living room, office and three floors had nothing to do with it but it was in a very upper class part of town that she didn't feel like she would belong. After Cole had wiped away those fears she'd been more than happy to let him buy the house and place it in both of their names.

"Right come on kids time to go!" Cole yelled pulling Olivia out of her imagination and back into the real world.

As the children skidded into the room he took Olivia's trembling hand into his own.

"Ready?" He smiled.

****

**Benson-Jeffries home, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 9****th**** 2008**

**12.16 pm**

Olivia walked into the house unsure what to expect. There were pieces of unopened furniture everywhere and boxes filled with their belongings. As she went into the large open living room she found Fin and Elliot struggling to put up her well chosen red, white and black floral patterned drapes. As the bar fell and hit Elliot in the head. She laughed drawing their attention to her.

"Instead of laughing you could help!" Elliot smiled and she skipped over a few boxes and climbed onto the ladder behind Elliot.

He held his breath. Her body was pressed into his as she leaned over to reach the bar. He could feel himself beginning to react to her. His body was sweating, his heart was racing. He could feel every lump and curve of her beautiful and perfect body.

"Elliot take the bar before I fall!" Olivia laughed pulling him into the real world.

"What?" He asked as he looked for the problem. He managed to grab the bar as Olivia helped him push it into place.

She climbed down the ladder so that she could check they were straight and as Elliot and Fin moved the ladders she rushed to the drapes making sure they hung properly.

"Thanks." She smiled as she once again stepped back to admire her choice.

Elliot and Fin moved on to hang the large silver mirror above the mantle. Olivia began pulling all the open wrappers and took them to the industrial skip they'd hired for the move. When she went back inside she saw that Elliot and Fin had placed the mirror perfectly and had started to build the glass coffee table.

"You could have gone for simpler furniture Baby Girl." Fin laughed as he screwed in a bolt.

"I could have but that would be no fun." She smiled as she folded her arms.

Cole crept behind her and slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. She jumped but recognised the touch and instantly warmed into the gesture. Elliot watched them, momentarily forgetting what he was doing to see the couple react to each other. He noticed how her head moved slightly to the side making room for his cheek to slot into her neck perfectly but he decided that she was moving her neck because she didn't want him touching her. He had decided that this moving in together had been for convenience and so Olivia could have the twins, nothing to do with love. Yet he wouldn't dare tell her that.

****

**Benson-Jeffries Home, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 9****th**** 2008**

**5.41 pm**

"Thank you everyone for all your hard work today." Olivia smiled as she raised up her wine glass.

Everything was finally in place with only their personal belongings left to unpack. All her friends and Cole's friends and family had made their way to the house to celebrate with the family.

"Yeah we couldn't have done it without you all." Cole smiled his arm around Olivia's waist, her body moulding into his.

"To the Benson-Jeffries family home!" Cragen yelled raising his soda.

Everyone raised their glasses and sipped their drink. Echoes of admiration as Cole bent over and Kissed Olivia deeply.

A knock on the door pulled them back to their senses and he rushed to get the pizza's that were arriving.

Olivia was looking around and she didn't notice Melissa until she felt a light tug on her trousers. Olivia looked at her and smiled as her small hand signalled for her to bend down. Slowly, Olivia crouched down beside Melissa. She wrapped an arm around the tiny waist as Melissa cupped her hands over her mouth and leant in to whisper in Olivia's ear.

"Are me and Ant allowed to call you Mommy now?" She asked.

When she pulled away she looked at the blond haired beauty in front of her. As her eyes filled with tears she nodded and smiled. As Melissa's arms flung around her neck, Olivia's smile grew and the tears cascaded down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and held Melissa tight to her. Their cheeks pressed together and Olivia couldn't see that everyone in the room was staring at her.

"Of course you can." Olivia whispered.

"And Cole Daddy too?" The little girl asked not moving from the tight embrace Olivia had her in.

"Yes." Olivia managed to say as more tears choked her.

Slowly, Olivia placed the four year old on the floor and watched her run off. Seconds later she ran back with Michael close behind her. Olivia could tell what was going on and she sank to a crouch her arms open and ready. As they dived into her she fell back onto her bum but she didn't care. Once she managed to bring herself to crouch again she lifted the two children into her arms and grinned as she kissed them both.

"We love you Mommy." The both chorused making her heart leap.

"I love you too." She whispered. "I love you both too."

Elliot sipped at his drink, whilst everyone around him smiled at the public display in front of him. He didn't want Olivia to let herself get close to the children. Not with the risk they could be snatched away at any point but he knew better than to tell her anything. Especially at this moment when the twins had called her Mom and she was relishing in that, he knew he'd have to get her alone to talk to her. When there wasn't nearly twenty people in the room who would kill him for saying anything.

****

**Benson-Jeffries Home, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 9****th**** 2008**

**7.28 pm**

"Then he ..."

"Huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down!" Melissa and Michael squealed as both Olivia and Cole blew as hard as they could on their cheeks.

"That's right, he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down!" Olivia smiled as she turned the page of the book.

It was perfect. Olivia and Cole were sat on their new bed with the kids reading a bedtime story. Tomorrow, the kids would be in school and they would be back at work as normal. He was excited to begin living like a real family. He knew things were going to get better from here too.

"Right come on, it's time for bed." Olivia smiled as she finished the book.

"But ..." The two began but didn't finish because Cole interrupted.

"But nothing, you heard your Mom, get to bed. Mommy and I will be there in five minutes to tuck you in!" Cole smiled.

Olivia and Cole watched as the youngsters climbed off the bed and rushed out of the door. Cole pulled Olivia into his arms and kissed her gently, his lips just brushing hers. She welcomed the kiss, so he deepened it.

"You know ..." She whispered. "... once the kids are in bed, there's nothing to stop us from christening this bed."

"As long as we're quiet and don't wake the kids." He laughed as he helped her to her feet.

"Think we can do it before one of them wakes from a nightmare?" Olivia asked remembering the risk.

"If we're very lucky." He smiled

They split up, Olivia first going into Michael's room whilst Cole went into Melissa's. They wished the children goodnight and gave them a kiss before switching. They left the doors open a crack to let the light from the hallway wash in to the rooms.

"We need to buy night lights." Olivia whispered as they crept back to their own room.

"I'll pick some up lunch time." Cole replied as he closed their bedroom door.

As soon as the door clicked shut he pulled Olivia into his arms. This wasn't slow, it was needy and desperate having gone days without more than a kiss because of the children.

Still enveloped in each other's kiss they tumbled to the bed falling onto the mattress side by side. They tore at each other's clothes like animals, desperately seeking each other's bare flesh.

Once naked there was no foreplay, once he knew she was ready he slipped inside her with one easy grunt. She gasped half in pain half in pleasure. She pulled him down so their lips locked as he slowly began to move. Without notice she flipped him so he was beneath her. She grinned against him as he squeezed and stroked her breasts.

Feeling close to climax they switched again, he preferring to be the dominant one when she came. As his climax gripped him he bit at her neck to avoid screaming her name as he wanted too. She gasped, her own climax being triggered by the addition of his teeth on her neck. She chose to close her eyes and gasp his name in a whisper.

They fell to each other's sides. Exhausted.

"That was something." He whispered as he wrapped her into his arms.

"Something amazing." She replied her own arms sinking into his as their foreheads pressed together.

They drifted off to sleep wondering when one of the kids would scream from their terror filled nightmares.

****

**So sweet, I love Melissa and Michael. I will describe them a bit more in detail in the next chapter though so you can have some better image not just the fact that they have blonde hair.**

**Please Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

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**Benson-Jeffries home, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**5.34 am**

Olivia woke when there was a large bounce on the bed. It startled her to sit up and realising that she was still naked she pulled the duvet up to her chin.

"Morning!" The twins yelled.

Olivia adjusted her eyes to the lamp that Cole had turned on.

"What time is?" She asked.

"Five thirty." He laughed softly.

"Kids go get your gowns and then you can get into bed with us." Cole smiled.

As the kids jumped off the bed Olivia and Cole quickly climbed out and shoved some clothes on, she opting for his NYPD shirt and a pair of his sweat pants and he just a pair of his grey sweat pants. They were back in bed before the kids returned and the smiled happily as the two climbed under the duvet between them.

"Right, an hour more sleep before we get up. Deal?" Cole asked looking from Michael to Melissa.

"Deal." They both giggled and Cole reached over and switched the lamp off.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Melissa and stroked her waist length golden hair as they both drifted back to sleep.

****

**Benson-Jeffries home, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**6.30 am**

The alarm rang to signal that it was time to wake up. As Olivia's eyes opened and she became aware of her surroundings she laughed seeing the shape Melissa and Michael were in. Melissa's leg was draped over Olivia's, she was lying on her back. One hand on Olivia's stomach the other with the thumb firmly in her mouth, her head facing Michael who was in a similar position and it just made Olivia laugh. The kids started to stir as both she and Cole began to climb out of bed.

"Good Morning." Cole smiled looking over at Olivia.

"Very good morning." Olivia smiled back.

Slowly Olivia climbed out the bed and grabbed her work clothes, disappearing into the bathroom and get ready in a record time. She knew she had to be quick so that she could help the kids get ready. As the twins slept Cole felt horrible at having to wake them for breakfast.

"Morning." He smiled as four bright brown eyes blinked up at him.

"Morning." They both yawned simultaneously making Cole laugh.

"Time for breakfast." He explained as he reached over for his own robe.

The kids climbed out of bed and followed Cole to the kitchen. He sat them at the small table Olivia had requested they have in the large kitchen specifically for breakfast and then he proceeded to make toast and juice for the kids and toast and coffee for himself and Olivia.

As he placed the plates on the table Olivia arrived in the kitchen. He laughed seeing her with a white towel wrapped around her head yet fully dressed in her work clothes.

"Good morning." He smiled giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning." She beamed before taking her seat opposite the twins.

"Right remember after school that you're going to the homework club until six, Mommy will be picking you up then ok?" Olivia explained the afterschool plan that she and Cole had been working hard at.

"Yes Mommy." The twins chorused making her smile at them. She wasn't quite used to being called Mommy but it sure as hell made her beam every time.

"Ok then we'll have tea when we get home, then story, then bed by eight deal?" Olivia asked sipping at her coffee.

"Deal." They chorused.

****

**Sacred hearts of Jesus School, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**8.25 am**

The four of them walked into the school hand in hand. Melissa and Michael held each other's in the middle whilst Olivia held Michael and Melissa held Cole. They arrived at the front office and Olivia waited patiently for the secretary to take notice of her.

"Sorry, absentee's calling in. How may I help you?" The young brunette asked a flustered look on her face from the busy morning.

"Hi Ms Benson, I'm here to see the principal my children are starting today." Olivia smiled and Cole grinned when she said 'my children' he just couldn't help it.

"Just a moment I'll call Mrs Thomas the principal through now." She smiled and picked up the phone.

Olivia and Cole waited patiently for the Principal. When she arrived Olivia admired her navy blue skirt suit and greying hair. She looked smart and smile on her face made her welcoming.

"Good morning." She smiled extending her hand to Olivia and then to Cole. "I'm Mrs Thomas the principal, you two must be Michael and Melissa." She smiled crouching down and shaking each of their hands.

Olivia subconsciously played with Melissa's hair as she tried to keep her own nerves at bay.

"Now we just need to fill in some paper work and then we'll go and show you to the classroom. " Mrs Thomas smiled signalling to the door she'd entered through.

Olivia and Cole led the children into a wide office. They were pointed to the couch and Olivia pulled Melissa onto her lap whilst Michael sat between her and Cole.

The principal handed Cole the forms and he proceeded to fill them in.

"They have their mother's eyes I see." Mrs Thomas smiled.

Olivia's heart almost leapt out of her mouth at this statement. It was true that both Michael and Melissa has the roundest and brightest of brown eyes almost the exact shape and colour of Olivia's. She and Cole had noticed it but it was the first time that anyone had commented out loud.

Once the forms were filled Cole passed them back to the Principal who scanned them.

"Oh from a previous marriage?" Mrs Thomas asked her voice dry and bitter.

"No actually their not biologically either one of ours. We're fostering with plans to adopt." Olivia explained knowing the bitterness was coming from a religious catholic.

"Oh my apologies for jumping to conclusion but their eyes a very much like yours." Mrs Thomas explained.

"Thank you but they didn't inherit them from me." Olivia smiled feeling quite sorry for how flustered the principal had become.

"Right how about we go to the classroom and you can meet Miss Josephine?" Mrs Thomas smiled and got to her feet.

Olivia and Cole followed the principal down strings of corridors to the classroom. Once there they entered into the colourful room that was still empty as the bell was yet to ring.

"Miss Josephine these are Michael and Melissa Daniels and they're starting your class today." Mrs Thomas smiled as Miss Josephine knelt down in front of the children a wide welcoming grin on her face as she shook each child's trembling hand.

"Hi, welcome." She beamed.

"Hi." They both replied shakily.

"Mr and Mrs Daniels lovely to meet you." She smiled extending her hand to Olivia.

"Detective or Ms Benson actually and Mr or Detective Jeffries." Olivia laughed softly.

"My apologies!" Miss Josephine gasped.

"Not to worry, easy mistake, no we are the foster parents." Olivia explained feeling sorry for the young teacher who looked upset at her mistake.

"Detectives I am very sorry for jumping to conclusion like that!" Miss Josephine explained.

"It's not a problem, really." Olivia reassured, having quite liked being mistake for a wife and a mother twice in one day.

"Now how about we leave Michael and Melissa to settle with Miss Josephine while we get to know each other a bit more." Mrs Thomas replied a still friendly smile on her face.

Olivia nodded and she and Cole knelt down in front of the twins.

"Right you two behave." Cole smiled.

"And have lots of fun." Olivia added.

The twins just nodded a pleading look of 'don't leave me here' in their eyes.

"I'll pick you up from the homework club at six alright?" Olivia asked.

The twins dived into their arms and they shared a small group hug.

"We love you Mommy we love you Daddy." They chorused bringing tears to Olivia's eyes again.

"We love you too. Have a good day." Olivia smiled as the principal led them away.

Once the door was shut Olivia leant into Cole's side to hide her tears.

"You've reacted better than a lot of parents do." Mrs Thomas replied.

"I'm sorry, I'm finding it all a bit strange, I'm adjusting to being a mother of two four year olds and the situation regarding the way they came into our care doesn't make it easier." Olivia sniffed as she tried to calm her tears.

"Well why don't we go to the office and you can tell me all about it, just in case there are some issues that need addressing." Mrs Thomas smiled and she led them back to the office.

Olivia sat down and Mrs Thomas handed her a tissue so she could wipe the tear tracks from her cheeks.

"Now tell me, how did you become parents to Michael and Melissa?" Mrs Thomas asked sitting back in the arm chair.

Cole gripped Olivia's hand as she began to answer her voice a weak tremble.

"They were kidnapped, their parents killed by a rapist and murderer who managed to get out of prison early. It was our day off, but my Captain called and told me to drag him along as I work for Special Victims and he works for Missing Persons. Anyway, we found the kids the man killed himself and we took them back to the precinct. CPS showed up and informed us that the children would be placed in emergency care ..." Olivia's voice shook remembering Melissa and Michael's reaction when they had to be separated. "They err... they didn't want to go so Cole suggested that they come stay with us until their aunt could collect them and take them to California, however, the aunt changed her mind about taking Melly and Mikey so after a discussion about what was best for them we knew together we could provide a much better and more stable home for them. CPS explained that they may have to split and go into temporary care and then possibly adoption and having lost their family we knew, we knew that we couldn't let that happen and so we informed CPS we'd like to go down the route of long term fostering and they helped us get on our way. We had to move into a more suitable home as at the time we were not even living together." Olivia explained everything and she was surprised when she realised Mrs Thomas had a tear in her eye.

"I can't believe what you've done for those beautiful children, if they would have ended up in the system they wouldn't have the life you're trying to give them. It's truly amazing." Mrs Thomas wiped a tear that slipped down her cheek and a red flush of embarrassment licked her cheeks. "I mean, you're two hard working detectives and you've change your lives for the two of them. Moving in together for a start and putting them into if I do say so myself a great school, you obviously can provide for them and I'm touched by your love. It was very visible with how you reacted when we left them. I think Melissa and Michael are two very special children." Mrs Thomas added making Olivia and Cole smile widely.

"You could help us by telling child protective services when they visit." Cole laughed.

"Of course I will, absolutely anything to help two of New York's finest and I truly mean finest, I'm sure your work is very demanding yet you've taken the time to welcome innocent children into your lives. I'm truly touched by what you've done." Mrs Thomas beamed.

"Well thank you very much Mrs Thomas, but Cole we should be heading off or we're going to be later." Olivia smiled having noticed the time on the wall clock.

"Goodness of course, let me show you out." Mrs Thomas smiled.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**9.21 am**

"Someone's late." Elliot smirked as Olivia dumped her things on her desk.

"Well some of us had to drop two children off at school this morning Elliot." Olivia bit not in the mood for a confrontation with him this morning.

"I was joking, no need to be snarky." He replied turning his attention back to his computer.

Olivia bit back any retort that came to mind and went to her locker, after dumping her purse she grabbed her mail and sat down at her desk.

There was the usual memo's and staff stuff but the large A4 envelope at the bottom caught her eye.

She tore it open as quickly as she could and once she scanned the top of it she squealed and rushed to Cragen's office and seeing through the blinds he was alone she didn't even knock.

Fin and Elliot's eyes followed her and watched her disappear into the room. Automatically, Elliot jumped to his feet and went over to look at what had made her jump.

"You shouldn't snoop Stabler. Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll tell you." Fin sighed seeing Elliot hadn't found anything of interest.

"Well her world's changed, I just want to make sure she's alright." He replied as he went back to his seat.

Meanwhile in the office Olivia had taken a seat in front of Cragen's desk. Her hands shook as she passed over the package she'd received in the mail. Her voice failing to produce anything coherent.

Cragen took the pile and looked over them. He smiled at her and she returned it limply.

"You're not happy?" He asked her concern.

"Yes but I hadn't even begun filling for adoption." Olivia managed to say.

"I know, I did for you." He said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I'm glad and I'm very grateful it just came as a bit of a shock." She replied.

"Good, it's good to know people Olivia, once you and Cole file those papers it will be all system's go. You could be the adopted mother in around two weeks." Cragen explained.

"Two weeks? I thought adoptions took months?" Olivia stuttered.

"It can if you're just a Jane Doe off the streets, you and Cole are NYPD detectives and you have a Captain with friends high up the food chain in CPS. Once you're ready just sign those forms." Cragen smiled.

"Mh-Hm." Olivia said her lips pursed together as she nodded. "Can I ..."

"Take as long as you need, I'll call if we catch a case." Cragen grinned knowing exactly what she was going to ask.

"Thank you so much." Olivia smiled and she rushed around to his side of the desk and wrapped her arms around his neck before planting a large kiss on his cheek. "For everything." She added before rushing out again.

He watched her go, his heart beating at the knowing he was helping to make her happy.

"Olivia!" Elliot yelled as she practically ran past her desk.

"What is it El?" She groaned stopping in the middle of the corridor as he ran towards her.

"I just wanted to know if you were ok." He shrugged.

"I'm fine, I just got a bit of a shock that's all." She smiled.

_God!_ He loved that smile.

"Ok, what shocked you so much that you dived into Cragen's office?" He asked his hand gently caressing her shoulder.

Her skin tingled and she looked away, he'd always been able to make her react to him. She swallowed hard as she tried to form the words as she wanted to feel him touch her more and she had to remind herself that she was with Cole, Elliot might be single since his divorce six months ago but she was with Cole and was happy with Cole.

"Adoption stuff, Cragen pulled a few strings." She said shrugging his hand off him. "I need to get Cole to sign some stuff."

"You're adopting Michael and Melissa?" he asked taking a step as he recoiled in shock.

"Yeah, that's the plan anyway. They need us and we need them." Olivia replied softly.

"But you've only had them five minutes Olivia, shouldn't you wait?" Elliot asked and her eyes flicked to his.

He loved those eyes.

"No Elliot, no I shouldn't wait. Me and Cole have built up a home and settled Melly and Mikey into a family environment, yet until we've adopted them they could be snatched away from us at any minute." Olivia explained a bite her words.

"I just mean ..."

"No Elliot!" She was yelling now. "I don't give a rats ass what you have to say! Michael and Melissa deserve a happy home and they get that with me and Cole. We're happy the four of us together. I don't need you suggesting anything to me!" She yelled unaware of the crowd that had gathered.

Fin stepped forward to stop them but Cragen grabbed his arm and shook his head.

"They need to get it out in the open." He whispered to Fin who nodded and stepped back to watch.

"You've been with the guy five minutes Olivia! You're not married yet you've sent them to Catholic school and that's not for religious reasons! You only went along with Cole when he suggested you take care of them for a few nights! The next thing you've bought a brownstone and made a nice little family home? Get over yourself Olivia and wake up out of your little fantasy and realise this is real life!" Elliot yelled.

"Five minutes? I've been with Cole a year and a half you dickhead and that's longer than you and Kathy were before you slammed a ring on her finger. I don't care what you think of how me and Cole came to get Michael and Melissa but they're our children, we're their parents. They're four years old and if our adoption goes through then they're going to be with us for a very long time!" Olivia screamed.

"Yes and have you really thought about what it's going to be like raising two children? Me and Kathy only managed it because she became a full time Mom and you and Cole are two detectives with no proper day. You can both end up being called in at four in the morning and what are you going to do then Olivia? You won't be able to do this and you know it!"

Olivia reacted instantly. Her hand closed in a tight fist it flew and caught Elliot square in the face. Fin and Munch darted forward and grabbed her before she could hit again.

"You're an asshole Stabler I swear to God!" Olivia screamed as she struggled against Munch and Fin's grips.

"Now that's enough! Olivia go and see Cole and calm down. Stabler ... My office!" Cragen yelled.

Neither Munch nor Fin moved as the three of them saw Elliot follow Cragen into the bullpen.

"You can put me down now." Olivia mentioned a small laugh on her lips as her feet landed on the ground.

"I'm glad you punched him Baby Girl." Fin mumbled.

"Why?" She asked turning to look at him."

"Because if you hadn't I was very close too." He replied honestly.

"He deserved it then?" She asked unsure whether or not she'd over reacted.

"Yes he did Olivia, and you know you have our support with this adoption." Munch smiled.

"Thank you guys. Why doesn't the two of you come round for a drink tonight, really get to know the twins?" Olivia suggested, knowing that should the adoption succeed they would be a very important part of the twins lives.

"Yeah, why not." Fin smiled and Olivia pulled them both into her arms.

"Thanks guys. Now I have a boyfriend to speak to." Olivia smiled and as soon as she let the two of them go she ran off to find Cole.

Olivia went down to Missing Persons on the second floor and found that Cole was nowhere to be found.

"Benson? What can we do you for?" Captain Jenkins smiled seeing Olivia looking a little lost.

"Hi Captain I'm looking for Cole." She smiled.

"Oh Cole? Said he had something to do and he and Richards disappeared, I told them I'd call if we caught a case. Missing him already?" Jenkins mouth smiled at the last part to show that he was only teasing.

"Not really, just got stuff I need to give him, doesn't matter I'll text him. Thanks Cap." Olivia smiled.

"Anytime Benson. See you later." He waved as she turned around grabbing her phone out of her pocket.

_Wer r u? Got something 4 u pls txt bk soon. Love you. Olivia xox_

She walked back towards Special Victims unsure what to do or say when she would see Elliot again. When she finally stalked up to her desk he stood up, his hands fumbling in front of him.

"I'm sorry Liv. I didn't mean anything I said, I'm just scared for you." He said his eyes on the floor like some naught school boy.

"That's ok. I just hope what I said helped those fears a little." She smiled and walked towards him.

Once she was close enough she pulled him into an embrace, her hand wrapped around his waist. Once over the initial shock of her embrace he wrapped his arms around her shoulders taking in her touch. Without thinking he kissed her on the top making her jump from his arms.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"It's ok, you've just never really done that before." She smiled softly at him and he felt his heart beat raise in his chest.

"Haven't I? Oh." He shrugged and went back to his desk as Olivia reached for her phone.

_Im in the underground parking lot, come here have something 2 show u. Love u 2. Cole oxox_

Olivia smiled and grabbed her coat.

"Where are you going now?" Elliot asked.

"Cole wasn't in missing persons but he has just told me where to find him. I won't be long." She smiled and rushed off to see him.

****

**Precinct Parking Lot, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**11.01 am**

"Cole?" She asked heading towards his car. She smiled as he exited, Richards doing the same from the passenger side.

"Hey baby." He smiled pulling her in and kissing her.

She relished in the warmth of his touch and the taste of his lips. When they separated she was about to tell him about the forms in her hand but he pressed his finger to her lips.

"I've got something to show you." He whispered before slipping behind her and placing his hands over her eyes.

"If you have something to show me then why are you covering my eyes?" She asked as he slowly began to make her walk.

"You'll see when I am ready to show you." He whispered and she giggled as his breath tickled her ear.

They didn't walk far and Olivia wished she used the parking lot more often, at least then she'd have some idea where she was.

"Ok close your eyes. Then when I say you can open them." Cole explained.

"Ok." She nodded and closed her eyes feeling his hand slip from her face and hear him walk a little away.

She was suddenly nervous but when his and Richards voice yelled "open!" she realised she needn't have been nervous at all.

"Wow!" She said her mouth falling open.

Richards was dangling a set of keys and Cole was showing off a white SUV.

"How does Madam like her new automobile?" He asked in pretend upper class manner.

"Her new automobile?" Olivia asked her eyes not leaving the brilliant white of the car.

"Yes her new car. I know we both need one now with the kids and I remember you telling me about the dream car you'd always wanted." Cole smiled and Richards walked up to her and handed her the keys.

"Now how about you take us for a drive?" He asked a small laugh on his lips.

Olivia just nodded and headed towards the car. She clicked the button to disarm followed by a second to unlock. As she grabbed the door handle she noticed the windows were blacked out so she couldn't see the interior without opening the door. She pulled the door open and gasped. The deep red leather seats where exactly what she had always dreamed of. She stepped up and used the door to support herself in climbing into the seat, she hadn't realised how high up car actually was. Once inside Cole shut the door as Olivia looked around. He climbed into the passenger seat beside her whilst Richards climbed into the back.

"So what do you think?" Cole asked seeing the wide grin on her face.

"Oh I love it!" She squealed as she pulled him into her arms and planted a kiss on his lips.

"I'm glad you like it." He whispered his voice seductive.

"Yeah what if I told you I really loved it?" She asked her voice also low and seductive.

"And how about I told you the car won't be clean because I'll vomit from this love nest." Richards laughed poking his head through the gap in the seats.

Olivia's arms slipped from behind Cole's head and she put the keys into the ignition.

"Where to?" She asked a smile still dancing on her lips.

****

**So what do you think about Elliot? He's such an ass sometimes so I really hope I caught that/ Had to make Olivia punch him though cause he overstepped the mark!**

**Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to liviabenson17,ashleysvureader, JaynesPlainWeird for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**JaynesPlainWeird – I pm'd you to explain but for anyone with the same valid point as you – It was noticed that I kept saying 'after tea' or 'for tea' in the previous chapter, I don't mean the drink tea it was my British English taking over again and I mean Dinner for Dinner and after Dinner as in the evening meal, I will try and proof read better and use more American English!**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**01.16 pm**

Olivia was heading back into the precinct. She and Cole had been for a short drive in her new car and he'd filled out all the relevant forms. Olivia wanted to finish filling hers out and send them off ready, desperate to make it official that she was Michael and Melissa's Mom. She dropped her new car keys on her desk as she went into her locker to grab her house keys.

"Where were you?" Elliot asked out of intrigue.

"Oh, Cole bought me a new car." Olivia smiled.

"Why?" Elliot asked again intrigued but also unsure why he would want to buy Olivia a car.

"We need two cars with the kids El. With us hoping to have some form of routine in our lives regarding the children's lives we both need a car." Olivia shrugged unsure why she was even explaining herself to him.

"Oh." He shrugged as Olivia sat at her desk and fumbled with the keys wanting them to all be on one bunch.

"So what type of car did he get you?" Elliot asked wanting to keep some conversation going between himself and Olivia.

"A white SUV." Olivia smiled.

"With red leather seats?" Elliot asked knowing it was Olivia's dream vehicle.

"Absolutely." She grinned finally getting the keys onto one bunch.

"Wow, you can tell he's a trust fund baby." Elliot bit.

"Oh get over it Elliot." She spat getting to her feet.

"Now where are you going?" He asked a little fed up with her up and down every two minutes.

"Away from you!" She spat heading for the stairs.

Elliot watched her go. Her temper flaring as she bounced towards the cribs. Once the door was firmly shut behind her she took deep breaths determined to calm herself down. As she sat down on the nearest cot her cell rang loudly, the noise reverberating around the room.

"Benson." She answered slightly angry.

"Sorry Detective it's Mrs Thomas is this a bad time?"

"No I'm sorry, tough day. What can I do for you?" Olivia asked.

"Well I'm afraid we've got a problem with Michael. He's been in a fight with another boy, an older boy." Mrs Thomas voice echoed.

"Is he alright?" Olivia asked jumping to her feet and running for the door.

"Yes, few cuts and bruised but nothing long lasting. However Melissa won't let him go and I think they're both distressed."

"Ok I'm on my way." Olivia hung up just as she made it into the precinct.

"What's the matter?" Elliot asked jumping to his feet as Olivia grabbed her bag.

"Michael's ..." Her voice disappeared as she rushed to Cragen's office.

"What is it?" He asked as she poked her head round the door.

"Michael, problem at school..." Olivia couldn't even form the words in her mind.

"Go!" Cragen nodded.

"I'll come with you, called Missing Persons and Cole's out on a case." Elliot explained grabbing his jacket.

Olivia just nodded as they ran to the parking lot.

Had they not been in such a rush, Elliot would have taken the time to admire the new car but he just jumped into the passenger seat as Olivia fumbled with the keys.

He saw her struggle and wrapped his hands around hers.

"Take a breath." He said softly his eyes looking through her own and touching her soul.

She nodded and let out a breath she'd been holding since she'd hung up the phone. The sparks that fired between their hands made her want to lean over and kiss him but she blinked and looked away now calm enough to place her keys in the ignition.

****

**Sacred Hearts of Jesus School, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**1.54 pm**

"Olivia Benson, Michael and Melissa Daniel's Mom, Mrs Thomas called." Olivia explained hurriedly to the small girl behind the desk.

"Hi again Detective, I'll just call her for you now."

Olivia stepped back and with one arm wrapped around herself the other hand clutched her head.

"Stay calm Liv, I'm sure it isn't too serious." Elliot explained softly.

"Shut up, if I wanted your opinion I'd ask for it Elliot." She hissed not in the mood for parenting advice from the man who left his wife and four kids.

"Sorry." He shrugged.

"Detective Benson, thank you for coming." Mrs Thomas replied rushing towards them.

"Detective Stabler, my partner." Olivia mumbled as Mrs Thomas shook her hand.

"Right this way." Mrs Thomas smiled showing the way to the office that Olivia had been that morning.

Elliot unsure what to do with himself followed Olivia.

When they walked into the office he heard Olivia gasp and it took him seconds to see why.

Michael had a black eye and thick lip as well as other bruises along his face. His arms and legs visible under the school summer shirt and shorts were also covered in multiple cuts and bruises.

"Mommy!" Michael groaned seeing her.

"I'm here baby. Mommy's here Mikey." Olivia gently pulled him into her arms.

"Detectives if you'd like to take a seat I'd like to explain to you what the kids said happened." Mrs Thomas suggested.

"You spoke with the kids before calling me?" Olivia asked her voice shaking as her anger rose.

"Yes to find out what happened." Mrs Thomas explained.

"Well you should have called me straight away. See the way he's sitting leaning awkwardly to one side?" Olivia asked pointing to the obvious uncomfortable way Michael was sitting.

"Yes?" Mrs Thomas asked.

"Broken ribs, he needs to go to the ER." Olivia spat.

"Ok, well I can tell you the other boy is completely to blame from what all the children have told me." Mrs Thomas explained.

"Well I hope he's punished accordingly now if you don't mind I'd like to get my son to the hospital so he can be treated." Olivia explained and she carefully lifted the four year old into her arms.

Automatically Elliot leant down and lifted Melissa and it earned him a grateful smile of Olivia.

"Will you please call and let me know how he is?" Mrs Thomas asked as Olivia slipped through the door.

"I will." Olivia replied quietly.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**2.15 pm**

Elliot had called on ahead to the hospital. So when they arrived a small team of doctors and nurses helped Olivia place him on a gurney.

"I'll watch Mel, you go." Elliot explained seeing her flustered unsure what to do.

Michael had lost consciousness in the car and Olivia had known it was more serious. As Olivia took Michael's hand she looked at Elliot.

"Call Cole." She whispered as the tears flooded down her face.

Once inside the hospital Elliot caught up with Olivia pacing the waiting room.

"I called Cole he's on his way. Now what have they told you?" Elliot asked passing Melissa who was reaching out for her mother.

"Something about internal bleeding. I had to sign for them to give him surgery El. What type of school did I send my children too?" She asked the tears rushing down her face.

Her phone was ringing loudly and she looked at the caller ID before passing it to Elliot. She held Melissa tight as she sobbed, desperate to know some information about her son.

"Olivia!" Cole yelled rushing to her side.

"Daddy!" Melissa called reaching for him and holding him in a tight embrace. He held Melissa in one arm and Olivia in the other as they waited for some news.

Elliot handed Olivia's phone back to her.

"Cragen, Munch and Fin are on the way." He explained as took her phone.

"Thank you." Olivia whispered.

She held tight to Cole, her head resting on his chest as Melissa held her other hand. They were all terrified of what was going on.

"Ms Benson?" A nurse asked coming out towards them.

"Yes that's me!" She replied rushing over.

"There's been some complication's in the surgery. He's going to be under for a few more hours. I don't have any more news but a doctor will be out to talk to you when they're done. Please follow me to the surgery waiting area." The nurse explained.

"What do you mean complications?" Olivia asked refusing to move.

"I don't know, I'm sorry I have nothing more except that you're to wait for the doctor. I'm very sorry." The nurse explained and Olivia reluctantly followed the nurse.

In the waiting room Cole sat down with Melissa, gently rocking her and Elliot sat on the opposite side of the room watching Olivia as she paced the floor.

Cragen, Munch and Fin arrived and Cragen pulled Olivia into a hug.

"What happened?" He asked gently.

"I don't know." Olivia sobbed. "Some kid beat him up, I could tell his ribs were broken and he just passed out in the car on the way here. Then they rushed him off and then bought me some forms for surgery and something about internal bleeding then the nurse came out said there was a complication and bought us here."

"Shh ok, I've got you." Cragen whispered as Olivia sobbed heavily into his shoulder.

When she finally calmed down she began pacing as the men sat back in the plastic seats. Every minute felt like an hour.

"Mommy." Melissa whispered.

"What is it Melly?" She asked softly going to her daughter.

"I need to pee." Melissa whispered so soft that only Olivia and Cole could hear.

Being the only woman in the room she had no choice but to lift the four year old into her arms.

"I'll phone you if they come." Cole told her and she nodded before heading off to the ladies with Melissa.

On the way back Olivia glanced at the clock and saw that they'd been at the hospital nearly an hour already.

"Mommy." Melissa whispered.

"What is it baby?" She asked.

"Is Mikey going to die?" Melissa asked tears filling her eyes.

"No baby, the doctors are making him all better now." Olivia whispered.

As they arrived back into the waiting room and Melissa ran to Cole a doctor came into the room.

"We need you to sign these." He explained shoving a clip board under Olivia's nose.

"Why?" She asked seeing they were more surgery forms.

"Michael has a tear in the wall of his heart, it's something he's probably had since birth but the attack has made it worse. Had we not opened him up we wouldn't have noticed and he'd have slowly drifted off to sleep and died. He's extremely lucky but we do need to fix it. The surgery risks are very high Ms Benson. The chances of him making it through the operation alone are slim, but if we don't do it he'll die anyway." The doctor explained.

Olivia nodded and quickly signed the forms. As she handed them back she hesitated.

"Please save my son." She whispered.

"I'll do everything I can, he'll be in surgery for a few hours though, it can take between five and twelve depending on further complications." He explained. Olivia nodded and he rushed off.

Her legs buckled and she collapsed to her knees. Her sobs were silent but hysterical. Elliot was the first to her side wrapping her up in his arms as Cole sobbed with Melissa.

"It's ok Olivia, he's going to be alright." Elliot whispered as she bent over sobbing.

"He can't die El. He just can't!" Olivia sobbed.

"I know and he won't." Elliot whispered rubbing her back.

"Liv why don't I take Melissa to get something to eat? She doesn't need to know how serious this is." Cragen explained kneeling down in front of her.

"Ok." Olivia whispered. She slowly and shakily stood up and turned to Melissa.

"Mel, go with grandpa Don to get something to eat. We're going to stay here and wait for Mickey ok?" Olivia said softly.

Melissa nodded and took Cragen's hand. He was trying to hide how overjoyed he was that Olivia had called him 'grandpa Don' now wasn't the time to get excited but the leap his heart had done was a different story.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 10****th**** 2008**

**4.45 pm**

"Here you go." Fin smiled softly as he passed a cup of coffee to Olivia.

"Thanks." She whispered taking it in her trembling hands.

He passed on to Cole who looked equally as grateful before he sat back down in the blue chair beside Munch.

The time was going by far too slow for any of them.

"Mommy." Melissa smiled as she came back into the waiting room.

"Hey baby." Olivia smiled scooping her daughter into her arm.

"Look Mommy, Mrs Thomas is here." Melissa explained pointing to the door.

Olivia stood up and passed Melissa to Cole before approaching the teacher. Cragen took to her side for support knowing that this wasn't going to be easy.

"Detective..."

"Please call me Olivia." She replied wanting to drop all formalities.

"Sorry, Olivia how is he doing?" Mrs Thomas asked.

"It's not good Mrs Thomas ..."

"Please call me Diane." Mrs Thomas interrupted.

"Fine, Diane, the beating caused some internal bleeding. He passed out on the way over here. When they opened him up there were some complications but then they found that he had a tear in his heart ..." Olivia's voice shook more the further along she went.

Cragen slipped his arm around her waist knowing she was struggling to held up her own weight.

"... The tear has been there since he was born but uh, the beating made it worse, they said if they didn't operate he'd die and had they not opened him up to operate he'd have just died without anyone knowing... Uh, the op has some dire risks, he'll be in surgery for a few more hours." Olivia explained tears running down Mrs Thomas face as she learnt the news.

"I'm so sorry ..."

"You didn't beat up my son." Olivia replied.

"I know but ..."

"Just because the boy who beat him goes to your school this is in no way your fault, if it was I have a room full of detectives who'd have put you in handcuffs by now." Olivia replied the small joke lifting everyone's spirits.

"Would you mind if I waited with you?" Mrs Thomas asked softly.

"Not at all but he's only been in surgery a couple of hours, and he could be there for ten more." Olivia replied.

"I'll wait all night if need." Mrs Thomas explained and Olivia turned to hold Cragen and shed more tears as the teacher sat down opposite Munch and Fin.

"Drink your coffee Liv. You need something to keep you going." Elliot suggested passing her the cooling drink.

"Thanks." She whispered pressing the cup to her lips and drinking.

Cragen let go of her and returned to sit with his detectives as Olivia resumed pacing, her speed slower than last time but everyone knew it was the only thing she could do but cry.

"If you want, I could take Melissa tonight." Cragen whispered to Cole. "I mean I don't think she wants to be here all night, poor thing." Cragen explained his decision.

"I'm sure Liv will be as grateful as me Don. Thank you." Cole replied.

"No problem. We'll need to get some of her things though and make sure she's ok with it." Cragen explained.

"Yeah, maybe we should go now whilst he's still under. We'll probably be back before he's out of surgery." Cole decided that it would be better for Melissa to be out and about that sat in the waiting room collection thoughts. "Olivia, my and Don are going to go get some things for Mel, he's going to take her tonight. Want me to bring you anything?" Cole asked.

"Something to change into, from my comfy drawer and Michael's cuddly blanket and the nunu bear and some pyjamas and his robe." Olivia said the first things that came into her mind.

"Ok baby, call me if you hear anything." He explained pulling her into his arms.

She wrapped her arms around him feeling him, taking in his scent not wanting to let him go. Slowly she did and watched as he Cragen and Melissa wandered off. Once the door was shut behind them she resumed pacing up and down the floor of the waiting room feeling less calm now Cole and Melly had gone.

"Come on Liv, sit down. You're not doing anyone good pacing." Elliot sighed taping on the seat beside him,

"I'm doing me some good _El._" She hissed not in the mood to have an argument with him.

"Ok, I'm sorry." He shrugged leaning back in his seat.

"Liv, we're going to go get something to eat can we get you anything?" Munch asked as he stood up.

"No I'm fine." She shrugged.

"You need to eat something baby girl." Fin replied wrapping his arms around her.

"I don't think I could eat Fin." She explained welcoming his embrace.

"Why don't we bring you a sandwich and a soda and you can try and eat?" Fin suggested.

Knowing better than to argue she whispered and once again she watched as the slipped out of the door. The only people in the room now were herself, Elliot and Diane Thomas.

"He's going to be fine Liv, you know that right?" Elliot asked.

"Oh shut up Elliot!" She groaned.

"He is Olivia, you gotta believe that." He sighed.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say Elliot!" She exclaimed.

"No? Well hear this Olivia ... he is going to be fine and you're worrying over nothing." He replied.

Olivia flew at him but he saw her coming and grabbed her wrists before she could do anything.

"Nothing? Nothing?" She yelled in his face. "My son is lying in surgery, he's lucky to be alive and they are operating on his heart and guess what Elliot he's only four! So don't you dare tell me it's nothing!" She screamed.

"He's going to be alright Olivia, and he isn't your son, not yet." Elliot spoke softly but it made Oliva worse.

"Don't. You. Dare!" Her voice was low, a threatening growl that Elliot had only ever heard her use with perps in the past.

"Sorry ... I didn't ... I'm sorry Liv ..."

"Don't you Liv me you son of a bitch!" She yelled.

"Olivia please I'm sorry I ..."

"Just go Elliot! Please just go before I shoot you!" She exclaimed and he knew she was wasn't joking,

"I'm sorry." He whispered before heading for the door.

He had no plans of leaving but he knew he had to stay away from Olivia. He was kicking himself. He never thought before he spoke and now he'd just gone and ruined the last piece of friendship he had.

Inside the waiting room Olivia was shaking with fury. Diane slowly slipped an arm onto Olivia's shoulders and when she didn't recoil she turned her into an embrace.

"He is your son you know. I have something in my briefcase you might want." Diane pulled away from Olivia who said nothing. She picked up her briefcase and pulled out the top few pages before passing them to Olivia.

Olivia sat on the nearest blue chair and turned the papers around. The first was a thank you card. Olivia smiled at the large brownstone that had been drawn. She opened the card and the tears stung her eyes as she read.

'To Mommy and Daddy from Melly and Mikey' Olivia read the scrawny scribble perfectly.

She placed the card down and picked up a painting. It was a painting, of the large brownstone they lived in. On either side there was a picture of a person, she recognised them to be herself and Cole, they were holding the guns out and smiling.

'My mom and dad are cops' She read the writing visibly written by a teacher.

"They were doing work on their parents work today. They had to make pictures on what their parents did for a living. Then they had a discussion about it in the class afterwards. Miss Josephine was very impressed with Melissa and Michael, she told me how they'd both been bombarded with questions after they told the class how you and your partner saved them from the bad man." Diane smiled softly.

"I'm surprised, I thought they would have told the class they didn't have a Mom and Dad as theirs died." Olivia whispered.

"No, they very much believe that you are they Mom and Mr Jeffries is their father." Dian explained.

"Thank you." Olivia whispered her eyes not leaving the drawing.

Munch and Fin were almost at the waiting room when they saw Elliot leaning against the wall outside.

"Why are you here?" Munch asked.

"Because I'm an ass." Elliot replied his gaze not moving from the floor.

"And why's that?" Munch asked before Fin could replied with a sarcastic comment.

"I told Olivia that he'd be fine and she was worrying about nothing then I went and corrected her when she said my son." Elliot sighed feeling pretty embarrassed.

"I hope she smacked you again. You're right you are an ass." Fin replied before sinking into the waiting room without another word.

"He's right Elliot, you were out of order." Munch replied. "Don't leave, then she'll hate you even more." He added.

"I wasn't planning on moving from here." Elliot replied.

Back inside the waiting room Fin had passed Olivia the sandwich and soda. She had opened them both and found herself only able to manage a few mouthfuls of the sandwich. She drank all of the soda, the cold alone gave her a kick but the caffeine was also welcoming.

"Cole!" Olivia gasped as he, Melissa and Cragen walked back into the room.

She wrapped his arms around his neck as he planted a large kiss on her. He knew she needed it, she needed that connection and comfort his kiss gave her. When he released her lips he held her tight pressing his cheek into hers.

"I've got you baby." He whispered as Melissa pulled on both of their legs.

Olivia bent down and scooped her into her arms before resuming cuddling Cole.

****

**Poor Michael, there is a reason I'm making Elliot such an ass which you will learn in time. Don't know how long it's going to be before this story becomes E/O but when it does it will be worth the wait I swear! **

**Please Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to Ivyfern, mekaky, E-O4eva, for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**DISCLAIMER (I always forget to do one!) – I don't own it Dick Wolf and NBC does, it sucks I know.**

**Ha!**

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, June 11****th**** 2008**

**2.15 am**

Olivia was slumped up in the plastic chair of the waiting room, still waiting desperately for news about Michael. Cragen had taken Melissa around ten pm when she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer and Casey, Alex and Melinda has arrived around ten thirty. Munch and Fin were still with her and on her trip to the bathroom she'd bumped into Elliot who she'd forgiven just because he'd waited around. Mrs Diane Thomas hadn't left either which was a surprise in its own but when Miss Josephine had arrived just after eleven, Olivia admitted that she was overwhelmed by the support.

"I still can't believe there's no news." Olivia whispered her breath shaking.

"It won't be much longer, at least we know he's still alive, that's something." Cole sighed pulling her into his arms.

"Small comfort would be an overstatement." She replied.

The comment stung but he knew she was right, he could still die on the operating table whilst they waited for some news.

"It's been nearly twelve hours. I can't handle this." Olivia whispered getting to her feet.

No one said anything as she began to pace. Even though everyone looked tired no one could have slept even if they tried. Munch's eyes were closed but everyone in the room knew he was wide awake as he kept shifting uncomfortably and only keeping his eyes closed because he didn't want to watch the heartbroken faces around him.

Fin had been on yet another coffee run, Olivia was still clutching at the soda can she'd asked him to get. It was the visible reminder to everyone that she was physically shaking, her rings clattering against the half full can.

When the door opened everyone jumped out of their skin. The doctor who entered was wearing surgical scrubs and Olivia's heart hammered inside her chest.

"Ms Benson?" He asked softly as he removed the mask from his mouth.

"That's me." She whispered her voice failing her.

Cole rushed to her side and wrapped his arm around her as she took his other hand in her own.

"How is he?" Cole asked his voice quivering.

"They're just stitching him up now, he won't be awake till morning." The doctor explained and Olivia and Cole as well as everyone else in the room let out large breaths that none of them had been aware of holding.

"And his heart?" Olivia asked.

"How about we sit down?" The doctor suggested pointing towards three empty seats.

Olivia sat down between the doctor and Cole and waited for the news.

"The surgery was a success but it wasn't without its problems. He will be going straight up to paediatric ICU when he's out of the recovery room. There were numerous complications, his heart failed on us a few times and we were very lucky to bring him back Ms Benson, he's a very lucky little boy. He will need further surgery but until he's recovered from this then we aren't going to operate on him again. You may see him briefly in the recovery room, we'll have to bring him around momentarily but then we are going to ask you to come back in the morning." The doctor explained.

"What further surgery does he need?" Olivia asked her voice stronger but still shaking considerably.

"We'll need to insert a tube into the artery in his heart, he will then need what's known as a Hickman line, a small thin tube feeding from the heart into a medication box. It's like an IV but he can carry around in a small bag." The doctor explained further. "He may need the line for the rest of his life but he also may recover fully from his condition."

"Ok, when can we see him?" Olivia asked as the pager bleep.

"Right now, that was the other surgeon, he's in the recovery room and they're about to bring him around." The doctor stood up and Olivia and Cole followed him. Everyone else knew that they wouldn't be allowed to go so they waited for them to come back.

They had to pull on gloves, hats and pale blue paper thin jackets to enter the recovery room. Olivia pulled hers on as quickly as she could desperate to see Michael.

They entered the room behind the doctor and Olivia rushed to Michael's side.

"He won't remember seeing you tomorrow." The doctor explained. "He's in a stage between sleep and wake that makes him conscious but he won't remember this at all." The doctor explained.

"Hey Baby it's Mommy. I'm right here." Olivia cried.

Michael turned to look at her then he looked at Cole and smiled.

"Mommy and Daddy." He whispered as his eyes began to roll into the back of his head.

"Yeah baby Mommy and Daddy, we love you very much and we'll see you tomorrow." Olivia explained. "Can I kiss him?" She asked turning to the doctor. He gave her a light nod and she leant over the trolley and gently kissed his cheek.

"Ok let's get him up to Peads ICU stat!" The doctor exclaimed making Olivia jump into Cole's arms.

They could only watch as the team wheeled him out of the room. Olivia was shaking, she knew it was serious with how urgent the doctor had wanted to get him up to the intensive care unit.

Slowly they walked out of the room and pulled off the scrubs. They placed them in the large bin before Olivia took Cole's hand. She sobbed softly into his shoulder as they made their way back to the waiting room to tell everyone.

When they walked everyone jumped up.

"He's uh, he's been taken up to the paediatric ICU, no one is allowed near him till morning." Olivia hiccupped. "Thank you all for staying, it means a lot." Olivia added.

"Right let's get you home." Cole whispered.

"No!" She gasped. "No, you go home, I want to see Melissa, you're working tomorrow, go home and get some sleep. I'll phone you when I see him tomorrow." Olivia explained.

"Ok baby, I'll walk you to your car then." He replied.

"Yeah, El needs a lift, he was with me. I'll take him home then go to Cragen's I'll call you when I get there so you know I'm safe." Olivia told him.

****

**Stabler's apartment, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, June 11****th**** 2008**

**3.34 am**

Olivia pulled up outside of the apartment block he lived in. She expected him to just say goodbye and jump out but he didn't so she turned the engine off.

"I'm sorry for what I said Liv, I really am, I've never seen you scared like that in all my life and I know you truly love him." Elliot explained. "I'm an ass and I speak before I think. I didn't mean a word of what I said, you are Michael and Melissa's Mom, I know that and so does everyone else."

"It's ok El, I know you didn't mean it and I'm sorry I got angry." Olivia sighed.

"No don't be sorry for getting angry, you should have hit me again. I deserved it." Elliot replied.

They looked at each other. Their hearts hammering inside their own chest as they felt the connection between them.

"You're my best friend El, if you don't think I should go through with this adoption then I won't. I trust you and your judgement as much if not more than I trust Cole's and he's the man I love. I need your support to get through these next few weeks El, please tell me you can give me that?" She was pleading, her eyes glistened with unshed tears as they plead for him.

"I want you to go through with this adoption, you showed tonight exactly what those kids mean to you and I think it would hurt me more seeing you lose them. I'm right behind you every step of the way Liv." He smiled gently.

"I love you sometimes El." She smiled back. "You can make me smile even when the world's against me."

"I love you too Olivia." He smiled. "You're my best friend."

He added that last bit even though he didn't want to, he wanted to jump out of the car and leave her with the words that he had been trying to muster up the courage to tell her since before he and Kathy divorced, but he had been too late. When he and Kathy finally divorced Olivia's relationship was serious and he could see how happy she was with Cole.

"I best be off. I'll see you tomorrow sometime." He reached over and brushed his lips against her cheek.

She closed her eyes. The fireworks that flew when his lips touched her almost made her call out. She didn't move until she heard the car door close. As she watched Elliot disappear into his building she wondered if she hadn't met Cole would there have been something between herself and Elliot. Quickly, she put a stop to those thoughts, she loved Cole more than words could express and whatever might have been between her and Elliot in those late nights in the cribs when they were catching a few hours after a tough case it didn't matter anymore. She was with Cole, she loved Cole and she wanted to spend all eternity with Cole.

****

**Cragen's Brownstone, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, June 11****th**** 2008**

**4.05 am**

She knew he was awake by the glistening light between the gap in the drapes. Slowly she climbed out of the car and locked and armed it before climbing up the steps. She'd never actually been to Cragen's house before. She knew he lived just down the street from her now as he happened to mention it to her when she requested a change of address. And then he'd pointed it out from the doorway of her house. As she stood on the stoop she glanced over to approximately her house. If she was right, Cole was in the bedroom but as the light she stared at went out she knocked lightly on the door.

"Olivia, come in." Cragen smiled gently opening the door to the house.

"Thanks" She mumbled stepping over the doorframe and into the warmth.

She followed him into the living room where a steaming hot mug of coffee sat on the table.

"It's decaff." He explained and she nodded and smiled taking the mug into her hands gratefully.

She sat down on the old leather couch, she could tell she could be comfortable and so she scooped her knees up to her side and leant in to the arm of the chair. Cragen was relieved to see her relax so he sat back with his own drink.

"Did she settle?" Olivia asked her voice a gently whisper.

"Yes, she was so tried. Once she was in her pyjamas and her head hit that pillow she was out like a light." He laughed softly.

"Good. Has she woken up?" Olivia asked knowing that she had suffered from nightmares in the past.

"Not a sound." Cragen answered honestly. "Now what did the doctors say?"

"Uh- they said that he Uh ..." The realisation of what the doctor had said hadn't hit her at the hospital but it was hitting her now.

Silent sobs filled her and her body shook uncontrollably. Cragen put down his drink and then took Olivia's from her shaking hands. He sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms. She finally came to rest with her head in his lap, finally overcome with fatigue and the gentle stroking of her head and arm, she drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

****

**Cragen's Brownstone, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, June 11****th**** 2008**

**6.32 am**

When Olivia's eyes fluttered open she froze. For a moment she couldn't remember where she was and whose lap she was laying her head on. As the memory of the previous night came into her mind she felt just a little bit embarrassed. Cragen woke as the weight left his lap.

"Good Morning." He smiled softly.

"Morning and I'm so sorry for falling asleep on you, you should have woken me." Olivia sighed.

"Nonsense, you were lucky to get any sleep I wasn't going to wake you when you finally got some." Cragen explained.

She nodded unable to speak, she'd fallen asleep fully clothed on her Captain's lap after sobbing hysterically. The word embarrassed didn't even begin to explain how she was feeling.

"I've made arrangements for Melissa to go to the day care at one police plaza, I'm sure you don't want her to go to school but she shouldn't spend all day at the hospital either." Cragen explained realising that Olivia had enough on her mind and he knew what she was feeling and wanted her to stop.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"There's clothes for her upstairs, I think you have some clothes in the car. Why don't I make us some coffee whilst you go and get them then you can have a bath and get changed and we can go to the hospital before taking Melissa to day care, then we can arrange something with Captain Jenkins so you and Cole can some time off." Cragen smiled.

"No, I don't want any time off and neither will Cole, we will need to arrange our shifts though around each other so someone is always available for Michael." Olivia replied knowing work would keep her mind off her sick little boy.

"We can do that. Now go on, go get your clean clothes and I'll make us some coffee." Cragen smiled and he leaned over and pressed his lips to her head before getting up.

She smiled softly, he was the closest thing to a father she had ever had and he was showing her just how much he loved her.

As she walked to the car she wondered how Michael would be today, how would he behave and how would he cope with his illness.

When she stepped back into the house the smell of coffee and the giggles of the four year old filled the air. Olivia made her way to the kitchen by following the girly laughter and she couldn't help but smile when she found Don Cragen holding Melissa and pretending to eat her stomach making her giggle and squeal.

"Grandpa Don that tickles!" Melissa yelled through her laughter.

"Ok ok!" He laughed putting her down on the floor.

"Mommy!" She yelled seeing Olivia and she rushed to her mother, her arms wide open.

"Good Morning baby." Olivia smiled picking her up and receiving a welcoming kiss.

Olivia placed her back on the ground and placed the bag in her hand on the counter.

"Now Mel do you want some toast and juice?" Cragen asked.

"Yes please." Melissa replied.

"Go sit by the table and grandpa will make it for you now then." He beamed stroking the side of the girls face.

She skipped to the small wooden table and climbed into the seat. Cragen placed some bread in the toaster and passed Olivia a steaming hot cup of coffee.

"That's got Caffeine in, I'm guessing you need it." He said as she smiled gratefully.

"Yeah something tells me today is going to be a long day." She replied.

****

**Olivia and Cragen sections! I love their relationship and I love making it really stand out so I hope you guys like it too. Next up Olivia visits Michael but is he better or is he worse?**

**Please Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to PushTheButton, mekaky, for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, June 11****th**** 2008**

**2.15 am**

As Olivia, Cragen and Melissa walked into the hospital Olivia worried about what she was about to see. They slowly made their way to the paediatric ICU. Olivia rang the button at the door knowing that the place would be very secure.

"Hello?" A voice came through the speaker.

"I'm here to see Michael Daniels." Olivia replied to the thin air.

"I see there are three of you, only two allowed around a bed per time." The voice replied.

Olivia glanced at Cragen and he nodded, he knew exactly what she was going to do and she was seeking his permission. She took her badge and pointed it at the camera.

"I'm Detective Benson and I'm with Captain Donald Cragen, a very generous benefactor to the Cancer research facility here at Mercy General now I suggest ..." Olivia didn't need to finish her sentence as there was a loud buzz that meant the door had been unlocked.

She scooped Melissa into her arms and they made their way to the front desk.

"Hi, Detective, you're looking for Michael Daniels is that right?" The nurse asked a smile pasted onto her face knowing that she'd been threatened with the withdrawal of a generous benefactor.

"That's right, I'm his Mother." Olivia replied.

"Right, I'll just get the doctor so he can update you." She explained and Olivia watched as the young nurse rushed off.

As Olivia waited for the doctor a hundred million things was going through her mind. She'd never been in this situation before but she thought the nurse would have taken her to Michael and have the doctor speak to her then. Olivia saw the nurse at the end of the corridor, she was with the doctor and they both had a look on their faces that Olivia knew, she'd had the same look on her face so many times before.

"No." She hadn't meant to say the words out loud but her body began to tremble violently.

Cragen reacted by taking Melissa out of her arms.

"Ms Benson?" The doctor asked.

All she could do was nod, her mouth was dry.

"Come this way." He said pointing to an office.

Olivia followed him through and Cragen and Melissa were close behind.

"Ms Benson." He started as Olivia sat down in front of the desk. She couldn't have held her body up if she hadn't sat. "Michael developed a severe chest infection last night, we did try to contact you but your phone must have been off..."

Olivia nodded, she'd forgotten to charge it.

"... Michael is on life support but he's weak and there's very little fight left in him. We'd put him on antibiotics but this morning we realised it had turned into full blown pneumonia. I'm sorry to have to tell you but the chances of Michael coming through this are very slim." The doctor ended.

Olivia nodded again. Her eyes were fixed on the floor. She was shaking but no tears filled her eyes. She was just numb.

"I need ... I need..." She gasped for air as she stood up.

"Take all the time you need." The doctor replied.

Olivia grabbed the door and rushed out of the office, her mind had stopped working and her legs were moving without her say so. She found herself in her car and as she sat in the driver's seat she picked up the phone she'd placed to charge on the drive over. It went on and she called the speed dial she had for Cole.

"Hello?"

Olivia couldn't speak.

"Olivia?"

Nothing.

"Baby are you there?"

"I'm here." She croaked.

"Where are you?"

"Hospital..."

"I'll be right there."

The phone went dead and Olivia allowed it to slip from her hands. The tears fell down her face and she sobbed uncontrollably. Her head fell onto the steering wheel, she had no energy to hold her head up.

She didn't know how long she'd been sat there when there was a knock on her window. She lifted her head and saw Cole. As the door opened she practically fell into his arms and began sobbing once more. She didn't notice Elliot standing beside him.

"He's ... He's ..."

"I know baby there I've got you." Cole whispered his own tears drifting down his face.

"I can't ..."

"I know baby." He replied.

They stood crying together for a good ten minutes before they made their way back to the ward. Cragen was sat in a plastic seat holding a sleeping Melissa.

"She cried herself to sleep." Cragen explained to Olivia.

Olivia nodded.

"I need to see Michael." She whispered as the nurse came up to her.

"Right this way, you'll have to scrub up." The nurse explained.

Olivia just nodded and silently followed the nurse to the scrubbing area. She washed her hands and slipped on the coat, hat and mask before following the nurse into the room.

He looked so small. She slowly made her way to his side, the machines all around him were the only noise to be heard as she took his hand in her own.

"Can he hear me?" Olivia asked the nurse.

"No one knows but people believe they can." The nurse explained.

Olivia turned back to Michael as Cole's arm slipped around her waist.

"Hey baby. Mommy's here." She whispered as she leant over the bed stroking his blonde hair. "I want you to fight baby, really fight so you can come back to us."

Cole felt the tears prickle his eyes. This was the woman he wanted to be his wife and the boy he called son. Two massive loves in his life looking both vulnerable and innocent.

"I love you baby." Olivia whispered as she kissed his cheek.

She couldn't stay there anymore. She rushed from Cole's arms and back into the scrubbing are. She ripped the scrubs from her as Cole landed beside her.

"I can't do this." She whispered as he pulled her into his arms.

"You can, with me, we'll do this together." He whispered.

****

**One Police Plaza Day Care**

**Wednesday, June 11****th**** 2008**

**9.04 am**

Olivia and Cole sat back and clutched each other's hands as they watched Melissa play. They wanted to focus on her, just for a moment and try and forget everything that was going through their minds.

"Jeffries." Cole's voice made her jump. "No problem Cap we'll be there soon. Bye."

"You have to go into work?" Olivia asked her expression shocked and dumbfounded.

"No, Cragen and Jeffries want to see us in his office." Jeffries explained.

"I'll go and tell Melissa that we'll pick her up after." Olivia sighed.

Slowly she made her way over to the little girl playing with some toddlers.

"Melly." Olivia whispered making her daughter give her all her attention. "Mommy and Daddy need to go and see Grandpa Don, are you ok to stay here and play and us pick you up later?" Olivia asked.

Melissa nodded.

"Ok baby I'll see you later. Mommy loves you." She kissed and hugged Melissa and watched as she rushed off to play.

As she walked to Cole he pulled her into his arms.

"We're going to get through this." He whispered.

****

**Manhattan Missing Persons, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, June 11****th**** 2008**

**9.45 am**

Olivia and Cole held each other's hand as they walked to the office. Cole knocked lightly and waited for the gruff 'come in!' before entering.

"Ah Benson, Jeffries, sit down." Jenkins pointed to the two seats empty seats, the third housed Captain Cragen.

Olivia sat in the middle and without even thinking she took Cragen's hand in to her own as the other held firmly onto Cole. She didn't know what this was going to be about but she needed to feel the two men close to her.

"Right then we need to organise some time off for the two of you." Jenkins explained.

"No! I said no time of Cap!" Olivia exclaimed her head snapping to Cragen.

"The circumstances have changed Olivia..."

"No! No time off. We just need to somehow work around each other a little, so at least one of us can be with Michael." Olivia explained.

"Liv ..." Cragen began.

"No! He isn't dead yet and I am not turning that machine off no matter what!" Olivia yelled knowing what Cragen was going to say.

"Olivia please!" Cole whispered pleadingly.

"No Cole, that's my son and I'm not going to be the one to kill him, he's going to fight this infection and he's going to live!" Olivia choked.

"There's a chance he won't fight Olivia, we have to consider ..."

"Nothing Cole, I'm not considering anything. Until the doctors say otherwise I'm not going to even think about flicking that switch." Olivia made herself clear and everyone in the room decided to drop the subject.

"Ok well for now you can keep your shifts the way they are, we can be flexible though so don't worry about that." Jenkins continued.

"Ok." Olivia replied in a whisper, she was too defeated to fight anymore.

"Now Olivia, I've called Casey and CPS and they're putting a rush on the adoption. The hearing is tomorrow." Cragen said giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"What? Why? Is this because he's dying?" Olivia asked.

"The reason that he may not survive is one reason but as you said it, he's your son and should anything happen to him you need to be the adopted parent to be allowed to turn the machine off. Otherwise it's in CPS' hands and I know you don't want that." Cragen explained.

"Ok." Olivia replied.

"You need to be in court first thing tomorrow morning and then they should be your children by lunch time, they don't need to hear anyone speak as the written statements have proven to be enough." He added.

Olivia just nodded, she was in too much shock to say anything.

"Now both of you take the rest of today and tomorrow off and then we'll return to work on Wednesday." Jenkins smiled gently and the two got up and left without another word.

****

****

**Ok so very short chapter and the next one skips forwards a week. **

**Please Review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to Amber77for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**REMINDER – THIS CHAPTER IS A WEEK AFTER THE LAST ONE!**

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**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 17****th**** 2008**

**10.34 am**

Olivia sat at her desk typing up the latest DD5's and sipped at her coffee. She was content knowing that Cole was at the hospital with Michael and that Melissa was in school. They'd settled into their new routine quite quickly out of necessity. When she worked, Cole was at the hospital, when he worked, Olivia was at the hospital and Melissa swapped between the two of them at night quite happily. Truth be told, they'd barely seen each other in the past week. Michael hadn't gotten any better, if anything, he gotten a lot worse. His frail body was battling numerous infections and she had been warned that if he didn't start fighting soon the doctors would push for her to switch off the machine or they'd have the court order them to switch it off. The adoption had been granted without any complications. No one wanted to fight them and they knew they couldn't place Michael anywhere else with him so ill. They had only been in court two hours and they signed the adoption papers there and then. Melissa and Michael were now legally her children.

"Hey baby girl what's up?" Fin asked passing her a Kleenex.

"I didn't even realise I was crying." She laughed softly as she wiped at her cheeks.

"You look like you haven't slept in days." He mentioned, he had never seen the bags under her eyes so prominent in the years she'd worked with him.

"I haven't." She replied.

That wasn't the Olivia he knew. The Olivia he knew would have laughed and made up a lie for why she looked bad, or commented on the fact that he'd told her she looked bad not look defeated and tell him the truth.

"Why don't you go to the cribs and get a couple of hours?" He suggested.

"No, I need more coffee and finish typing this up so I can visit Michael." Olivia explained.

"Let me get it for you." He smiled taking her empty mug.

As she typed she focused on getting it done. She wanted to hear Michael's progress and read three little pigs to him, his favourite story. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him and how much she needed him to fight.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 17****th**** 2008**

**12.06 pm**

"Hey." Olivia smiled as she entered the room.

Cole was sat in the very uncomfortable hospital armchair stroking Michael's hand. Olivia went over to him and kissed him on the cheek. He welcomed her touch.

"The doctor wants to speak with us." He told her getting to his feet.

"Ok." She replied and she took his hand as they walked the familiar route to the doctor's office.

Once inside they sat down and the doctor looked at them.

"We've been discussing Michael's progress, it seems he has given up all together. Even if he was to regain consciousness the chances are he'll be severally brain damaged and we've had all the experts we can see him and not a single one believe he'll wake up." The doctor explained.

"Ok." Olivia nodded.

"I'm afraid it's time." He finished.

She'd slowly been building herself up for this moment.

"Call in your loved ones Ms Benson." He said getting to his feet.

"I want him dressed in his blue teddy pyjamas. They're his favourite." Olivia whispered.

"I'll arrange that." The doctor replied.

"And I want him snuggled with his blanket and nunu the bear." She added.

"I'll get it sorted, call your family Ms Benson." And with that he left the room.

"You call the school, your Mom and your sister, I call the one six." Olivia turned to Cole.

She'd gone into autopilot, she'd been preparing herself for this moment for the past week and she knew exactly how it would play out. She wanted their friends and family to say goodbye and then she wanted herself, Cole and Melissa to cuddle up and read three little pigs as he drifted off. It was what she'd planned in her head for the past six days.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 17****th**** 2008**

**1.48 pm**

It was time.

Everyone who had a place in Olivia and Cole's life had been inside and said goodbye to Michael. The nurses had washed and dressed him and put him his blue pyjamas, he was cuddled up under his blanky with his nunu bear.

Olivia climbed into the bed beside him as Cole and Melissa cuddled up by his feet.

She opened the book.

"Once upon a time there was a mother who had three little pigs ..." Cole nodded and the doctor who had been in charge of Michael's care and he flicked the switch.

He had explained that Michael would drift off slowly, his heart would beat slower and slower and Olivia had prayed she'd get to the end of the book before his last breath was drawn. She could feel his breath against her hand as she read and that was all she needed.

"And he huffed and he puffed but the house of bricks would not fall down." Olivia ended as tears trickled down her cheek.

The last breath left Michael's body as she shut the book. Olivia looked at Cole and Melissa who were both crying.

"Michael's gone to be with Jesus." Melissa whispered.

"Yes he has baby." Olivia replied.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Michael in their last embrace. She kissed him on his cheek and slowly climbed off the bed as did Michael with Melissa.

Cole and Melissa went to the side of the bed. Melissa leaned over from Cole's arms and kissed Michael's cheek.

"I love you Mikey, be good for Jesus." Melissa whispered.

Then it was Cole's turn.

"I love you little man, you remember that Daddy will always love you." He whispered.

Olivia waited as Cole carried Melissa into the corridor outside where their friends and family were waiting.

She stepped right to the side of the bed and leant over him. She stroked his hair with one hand and stroked his hand with the other.

"Sleep tight my angel and remember that Mommy always loves you, help us watch over Melly. We'll keep you forever in our hearts." Olivia whispered as she kissed him once again.

The sobs took over her body and she sobbed silently. The nurses gave her ten minutes alone with him before they came in.

"It's time to go." The nurse whispered.

Olivia nodded and kissed him one last time.

"In my heart my angel." She whispered.

****

**Mercy General hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, June 17****th**** 2008**

**2.54 pm**

Olivia walked into the corridor where everyone was waiting. She couldn't look into any of their eyes as Cole pulled her into him. She held onto him and Melissa as they sobbed together. Everyone there was crying, Cragen, Munch, Fin, Richards, Tammy (Cole's Sister) Mrs Jeffries (Cole's Mom) Casey, Alex, Melinda, Mrs Thomas, Miss Josephine, Elliot and Captain Jenkins.

Everyone was crying for different reasons, Olivia, Cole and Melissa for the love they had lost, the teams for their friends, co-workers and family.

They finally made their way from the hospital when the nurse explained that Michael was being transported. Olivia had seen too many people in body bags; he son wasn't one she wanted to witness.

They made their way home after making sure everyone would join them for a drink for Michael.

****

**So very emotional scene and it isn't over, next chapter the funeral. Getting closer to E/O though so don't worry!**

**Please Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to Poot28 for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Benson-Jeffries Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 23****rd**** 2008**

**8.12 am**

The whole house was already up. Olivia sat silently at the kitchen table as Melissa ate her breakfast. Cole was keeping himself busy and cleaning getting ready for the caterers to arrive. It was going to be a tough day but Olivia hadn't had the chance to think about it with all the planning and in between the planning there had been the visitors with offers of condolences. She thought she'd shed her last tear as since leaving the hospital not a single one had left her eyes. Melissa wasn't difficult to handle, she talked about Michael a lot but just to say that he was watching over them and that she knew he loved her and they were things that warmed Olivia's heart not make her cry.

Slowly Olivia dragged herself to get washed and dressed. The hearse and family car would arrive at nine thirty but the family would arrive anytime after eight thirty. The family Olivia had chosen to ride in the two cars she'd ordered consisted of herself, Melly, Cole, Mrs Jeffries, Tammy and Cragen, whilst the second would hold the pole bearers, Fin, Munch, Richards and Elliot.

As Olivia slipped into the dress she heard the door go and Elliot's unmistakable voice drifted to her ears. She was relieved he was there, he always had a way of soothing her when she was upset, Cole was the only other person she knew who could do that.

Cole came into the bedroom and without a word slipped up the zipper she'd been working on. He kissed her on the side of the head and she smiled defeated at him in the mirror.

"We'll get through this." He whispered.

"Together." She replied.

****

**Benson-Jeffries household, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 23****rd**** 2008**

**9.11 am**

Everyone sat in complete silence. The only noise being that of the clock on the mantle. Olivia sipped nervously at her coffee hoping it would give her something to get her through the day. She was glad everyone had listened to her request of wearing something blue. The men wore different shades of blue in their ties, the woman wore a flower or garment with blue. Olivia had opted for a blue scarf to cover her bare arms and she was holding nunu and the blanket close to her chest. She had thought about putting them in the coffin with him but he comfort they'd bought her seemed to win and Melissa had also spent considerable time with the garments. There was a knock at the door and Olivia got to her feet. It was time to go.

****

**Blessed hearts Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 23****rd**** 2008**

**9.51 am**

It was time.

Olivia stepped out of the open door and clutched Melissa's hand in her own as Cole held Melissa's other. She blinked back the tears as the white box was pulled gently from the hearse. Slowly, Munch, Fin, Richards and Elliot raised the box with ease onto their shoulder. They walked to the entrance and Olivia saw Richards give Elliot's shoulder a small squeeze. She squeezed Melissa's hand gently as the song 'There you'll be' echoed across the small church which Olivia was surprised to see full. At the front of the church pictures of their short time as a family. One of Olivia, Michael and Melissa asleep on the couch, one of Michael and Melissa clutching around each other's shoulders as they grinned cheekily and one of the four of them that had been taken on a very strange angle in the mirror as they'd been playing with the camera.

As they reached the front of the church Olivia watched as the white box was placed on a stand, the NYPD flag was draped over it and the flowers around it the most prominent in the front being a blue set spelling 'SON' and on the step below a darker blue on with 'brother' Elliot placed the last picture on the box before making his way to the bench behind Olivia. He sat right behind her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder squeezing gently to remind her that he was there.

She took a deep breath as the song came to its end and the vicar stepped forward.

"Today we have gathered here to say our farewell to Michael Benson..." The voice disappeared as Olivia's mind wandered.

Her eyes were transfixed on the picture standing on the coffin. Michael grinning cheekily and her mind wandered to when the photo had been taken.

"_Melissa come back here with Daddy's camera!" Olivia yelled playfully as the four year old dived up the stairs. _

_It wasn't that she wasn't allowed to play with the damned thing but after having the four year old snap pictures of her for the past ten minutes she'd simply had enough. _

_As she arrived the bedroom she stopped as Melissa snapped a picture of Michael, his eyes were closed and it was definitely what one would describe as a toothy grin. _

"_Look Mommy!" Melissa yelled passing her the camera so she could see the picture. _

_After looking she'd taken a photo of Melissa before running off with the machine ready to hide it._

"Please stand for hymn number 361." The vicar said.

The noise of everyone rising bought Olivia back to the present tense and with Cole's support she stood up shakily.

The first chords of 'Amazing Grace' echoed across the church. As the verse began voices filled the small space but Olivia couldn't sing. She shut her eyes wanting to shut the experience out completely. Tears stung her face and slowly slipped down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry but she couldn't stop them.

As the hymn ended she sat back down in her seat.

"Michael's Mom, Dad and Sister will now speak a few words followed by a short video." The Vicar said.

Once again Olivia shakily stood up. Cole held Melissa's hand in his whilst his other supported Olivia's slow walk. No one had ever seen her look so defeated. She looked like she had nothing left to live for.

Cole lifted Melissa to the microphone. She'd asked her parents if she could tell the church that she loved and missed Michael.

"I just wanted to say how much I love Mikey, I know he's with God and Jesus and is an angel. Sleep tight Mikey." She spoke clearly and when Cole put her down she rushed to Cragen's waiting arms.

Cole was next. He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it. Olivia clung to him as he used the stand to support his own weight.

"Mikey was a special little boy." His voice shook as he blinked back the tears, he didn't want to cry now. "He was always ready to smile, pick up your spirits and make a silly joke to get you to laugh. In the short time we had him we knew he was special ..." He trembled as a whimpered passed through Olivia's lips. He pulled her head to his own as silent tears slipped down both of their cheeks.

"Together." She whispered and he nodded as he tried to regain himself.

"Michael's life was taken from him, from us, way too soon. He came to us under the worst circumstances and me and Olivia made a vow to make his life and Melissa's as special as we could. He wasn't with us long enough but we cherish those few days we had him and we'll never forget him. We love you Mikey, always will my little man." Cole's voice turned to audible sobs as he reached the end. He turned and wrapped his arms around Olivia, his forehead pressed to hers as they both sobbed.

"Together." He whispered and she nodded unfolding her own speech and stepping in front of the microphone.

"Mikey ..." Olivia's voice was a delicate whimper and she closed her eyes as she tried to pull herself together. "Michael uh, truly was a spectacular little boy. He seemed to always know the right thing to say at the right moment..." Once again Olivia had to shut her eyes and gather herself as she verged on braking right down. "I'm never going to forget the ... the first time ... the first time he called me Mommy..." Cole pulled himself closer to her side as she struggled to make her words audible as she'd stopped fighting the tears. "His voice, his laugh, his smell, his touch are things I'm going to have forever... You'll always be Mommy's little boy Mikey, always, I love you ... I love you so much baby and I can't believe you've been taken from us so cruelly." Olivia's sobs were hysterical and Cole took to finish the speech for her.

"Please take your time to watch the little video and images we could capture in our short time we hope it shows you how special he really was."

As the song tears in heaven echoed and the video began to play Olivia lost it. Her knees buckled underneath her and she fell to the ground in hysterical sobs. Cole collapsed beside her and wrapped his arms around her. Elliot, Munch, Fin and Cragen rushed from their seats to support her.

"My Baby!" She sobbed her hands wrapped around her waist as she sobbed. "My Michael."

"I know baby I know." Cole whispered as he stroked her back.

"Liv we've got you." Elliot whispered as he knelt in front of her.

"I need Mikey..." She sobbed as Cragen pulled her into him holding her as she sobbed hysterically, she couldn't hold it in anymore.

No one said anymore but everyone wrapped their arms around a hysterical woman grieving for her son. Melissa had been sitting in Tammy's lap but she struggled free and pushed through the men to Olivia.

"Mommy." She whispered wrapping her tiny arms around Olivia's neck.

It seemed to do something to Olivia. She picked the little girl up into her arms and they embraced tightly. Slowly and with the support of her family she made her way back to her seat in time for the ending of the song.

"Next we will hear from the children of Sacred Heart of Jesus school." The vicar explained.

Olivia watched as Melissa climbed out of her arms and rushed to the front. She stood right in the front and right in the middle as the piano began to play.

Olivia had expected the whole choir to erupt in their rendition of Morning has broken but as the song began only Melissa's soft voice filled the church. Her heart stood still in her chest as the little girl's angelic voice filled her ears, her heart, her mind and her soul. The choir eventually joined in and Olivia relaxed back into Cole's shoulder. She was finding a new feeling inside her chest. Pride. She was proud of Melissa and when she saw the little girl look at her she smiled and received a heart warming smile back. It had been the perfect surprise.

As the service ended Olivia watched as her friends went to collect the coffin, they were carrying it all the way to the grave he would lay his head for the last time. As the coffin was lifted the most angelic version of twinkle twinkle little star filled the room. Melissa clung to her mother's hand as her mother clung to Cole. They waited for the coffin to arrive the front of the benches before making their move to follow it out.

The walk was long and tedious and Olivia was already drained from the morning's events.

Olivia had arranged for blue roses for the family to drop when it was time. She didn't hear the last of the service and as the time came to lower the coffin she wept silently, her eyes were shut and she felt Cole's forehead against her temple. Melissa held Cragen's hand and also cried silently, just a few tears made a sparkling path down her cheek. As everyone dropped their roses Olivia dropped hers as she dropped to her knees beside the grave. She wasn't hysterical. She was silent. She was on her knees and bent over as the tears slipped down her pale cheeks. As the service came to a close the audience around the grave began to disintegrate heading towards the house were the wake would be held. Olivia didn't move as Cole knelt beside her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and pressed his forehead to her temple as they wept silently. Together. Melissa wrapped her arms around both her parents and pressed her head to hers. The only people who were watching were Elliot and Cragen who was stood by the black car waiting to take them back having sent everyone else in the other car.

"Cap?" Elliot whispered his tears making his sapphire eyes glisten in the sun light.

"Yes Elliot?" He asked in his fatherly manner his eyes not moving from Olivia.

"She'll be alright won't she?" He asked.

"She will, in time." Cragen replied.

****

**Benson-Jeffries Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 23****rd**** 2008**

**1.14 pm**

When they finally arrived at the house Olivia didn't stop to speak with anyone but sprinted up the stairs. She dove into Michael's bedroom and dropped herself onto his bed. She pulled his duvet into her, his scent filling her nostrils as more tears dripped down her face.

She wasn't lying there long when she felt a small pair of arms wrap around her. Melissa cuddled up into her mother and Olivia pulled her close spooning her from behind. She stroked Melissa's golden hair as the young girl drifted into sleep, her morning having been emotionally draining.

A few minutes later she felt the light from the open door on her face. Olivia opened her eyes and saw Cole gazing at her. Slowly she sat up and he picked Melissa's limp sleeping body into his arms. He took her to her own room as Olivia left Michael's, shutting the door behind her as Cole closed Melissa's.

"Go to bed if you want, no one will think anything of it." Cole whispered as he deposited a kiss on her forehead.

****

**So very emotional scene again. The next chapter is a week forward things getting back to normal. Getting ever closer to E/O though so don't worry!**

**Please Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to mekaky for review, it gets sadder before it gets better!**

**On with chapter 11**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 30****rd**** 2008**

**8.54 am**

Olivia poured herself a steaming hot cup of coffee before making her way to her desk to begin work. It had been a long morning with Melissa awake since four am and she was shattered. As she sat at her desk she switched on her computer and smiled at the pictures on her desk as the machine woke up. Her heart still yearned for Michael but she'd cried more than enough and just found herself wanting to live and make the best life possible that she could for Melly.

"Olivia." Cragen called.

She looked up from her desk and saw him signalling for her to go to his office. She took one more sip of her coffee before placing the mug on her desk and getting to her feet. Once she clicked the door shut and turned to Cragen he started.

"If you're ready to go back out into the field you need to have your sit down with Huang." Cragen sighed.

"Now?" Olivia asked.

"Yes he's waiting upstairs." Cragen replied.

"Ok." She shrugged.

He was surprised. She didn't argue. She didn't tell him that she was fine. She just said ok. He watched her leave and through the blinds on his windows watched her climb up the stairs. She looked defeated, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and he wished that he could do anything to take that pain away from her.

Olivia sat down on the battered couch opposite the armchair Huang occupied. He eyed her as she clasped her hands together in front of her, her eyes fixed on the table.

"How are you Olivia?" He asked.

"Fine." She replied.

"Really?" He asked.

"I'm fine, coping very well with the death of my son thank you." Olivia replied hissing slightly at him repeating his question.

"Ok why don't you tell me what you did this morning?" Huang asked sitting back in his chair.

"Melly woke at four, she cuddled up in bed with me and Cole but she wasn't going back to sleep and talked nonstop about the school choir show and her solo part, so I got out of bed and took her downstairs so Cole could sleep a little longer. I made us pancakes for breakfast with chocolate sauce as a treat and then we watched Sesame Street for an hour before I took Cole a coffee. I washed and dressed then I washed and dressed Melly, I took her too school and then I came here." Olivia talked like a robot, just as if she was reading her shopping list.

"Ok so you made pancakes as a treat. Why?" He asked.

"What?" Olivia asked looking at him.

"Why did you choose to make Pancakes as a treat, had she done something to deserve a treat?" Huang asked his expression not changing.

"No I ... Huang I'm not the best chef alright, it was nice to be able to have Melissa and me do something meaningful together. I measured out the ingredients and she mixed it all up and we carefully cooked the pancakes together, it was nice, I don't often get the chance to do that on a work day." Olivia explained not understanding the point of the question but answering it honestly anyway.

"Ok so when you were watching Sesame Street, how did you sit?"

"How did I ... What?" Olivia stared at him in disbelief. "What's the point of these questions exactly? I thought your job was to make sure I was sane enough to have my gun back."

"That is my job and that is what I'm doing Liv, just answer the questions without questioning me and it will make both our lives easier." He cracked a smile and she shook her head.

"I lay sideways on the couch with Melissa lying sideways in front of me and I was cradling her." Olivia shrugged.

"Ok when you were getting ready where was Melissa?"

"In the bath, Cole was watching her whilst I showered." Olivia replied. "Once I was out of the shower I took Melissa out of the bath and got her dried and into her underwear. I dried both out hair as she snuggled in her little blanket. Then I dressed her and then I dressed myself and then I did her hair in a French plait then let her brush my hair as I put on some makeup ... Detailed enough?" Olivia sarcasm spewed out of her mouth without her thinking.

"Very. Ok so tell me about the drive to school, where did she sit? What did you talk about?" Huang continued.

"She sat in the passenger seat in her car seat. We talked about her school choir show and then we sang along to the nursery rhymes CD I have in the car and she made fun of me purposely singing badly." Olivia smiled hearing her laugh echo across the car.

"What songs are on the nursery rhyme CD?" Huang asked.

Olivia glared at him, she had no idea of the relevance but she closed her eyes and put herself back into the car.

"Ok the first is humpty dumpty, we have silly actions we do together for that one, then, Bah Bah Black sheep, then skip the next one always then ..."

"Why do you skip the next one?" Huang asked the intrigue written all over his face.

"Because neither Melly nor I like listening to it." Olivia shrugged.

"What is the next one Liv?" Huang asked.

"Twinkle Twinkle little star." She whispered

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 30****rd**** 2008**

**9.38 am**

"Shit!" Olivia whispered viciously as she kicked the door closed behind her. She dumped herself on the nearest cot and sighed.

"Liv?"

"El?" Olivia turned and squinted to see a figure in the dark.

She couldn't see him until he sat down beside her.

"What's up Liv?" He asked taking her soft hand into his own.

"Huang." She groaned.

"Oh had your psych-eval." Elliot sighed, he'd really missed his partner out in the field. "What happened?"

"He wanted to know about my morning, then he asked what me and Melly did on the way to school I told him about that stupid nursery rhyme CD I have and he asked what songs were on it and I told him I skipped the third one he asked why and I explained that we don't like it and he asked me what song it was." Olivia spoke quickly in her temper.

"Twinkle Twinkle." Elliot whispered.

"Yeah." Olivia sighed.

"Come on, let's go down stairs and act like it went perfectly ok, which I'm sure it did. Your reacting normally Liv, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to listen to the song." He stood in front of her and held out his hands.

She took them and used them as a leverage to pull herself to her feet.

Once down stairs she sat at her desk as Elliot bought her a coffee. She could see Huang's shadow in Cragen's office and wondered what the doc would be telling her captain. Sighing she turned her attention to the witness statement she'd been typing up.

"Liv." Elliot said raising his eyebrows so she'd turn around.

Behind her and walking at a fast pace was Cole. She looked at him as he walked to her side.

"Cole?" She asked seeing that he looked flustered. "Is something wrong? Melly?" She asked jumping to her feet.

"No everything's fine and sit down." He sighed.

She did as she was told but it didn't make her less nervous.

"Olivia, I've been trying to do this for weeks, since before the kids but Ah!" He grasped the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb as he tried to steady his thoughts.

"I've been waiting for the right moment but with everything that's happened there isn't one and I'm scared that there won't be one so I've made myself come up here too ..." He dropped to one knee and whipped a black box from his pocket, in one easy swipe he opened it. "I've come to ask you if you'd marry me?" He asked.

Everyone was staring.

"Cole ..." Olivia's voice shook.

"Well? I don't mind if you say no but I couldn't wait to ask." He was worrying now that she was going to reject him.

She calmly stood up.

"Of course I'll marry you!" She beamed and dove into his arms.

"Really?" He asked as they fell into a heap on the floor.

"Yes!" She gasped as she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him.

He pulled the ring from the box and deposited it on her finger before he pulled her into a passionate kiss, right there on the floor of the bullpen as everyone in the room applauded.

"I love you Detective." He smiled.

"I love you more Detective." She grinned.

Slowly they stood up and he enveloped her in an embrace.

"I'm sorry I had to ask you like this, I'd hoped it would have been a bit more romantic but I thought I'd been waiting long enough to ask." He whispered.

"I'm glad you asked me like this, I had no idea it was coming." Olivia smiled.

They kissed again a deep on that earned them wolf whistles as well as applause. Elliot clapped along for the sake of it but he couldn't deny that there was a jealous rage building inside him.

"Benson!" Cragen called making them break the kiss. "Come on!" He nodded his head towards the office door.

"Shit." Olivia mumbled knowing she was getting the result of Huang's evaluation.

"I'll see you at home." He smiled as he left.

Olivia watched him go before making her way to the office.

"Well I guess you have two reasons to celebrate today Olivia." Cragen smiled as soon as she shut the door.

"Two Cap?" She asked.

"Yup, if you want two that it?" He smiled as he handed over her gun.

"Definitely." Olivia smiled taking the gun in her hand and feeling grateful of its weight as she placed it into the empty holster she'd been wearing for nearly a week.

"Olivia, not listening to the song, that's completely normal, you're obviously close to Melissa and that's what I wanted to see most, that you still had a reason for living, I see now with Cole you have two." Huang smiled.

"Well if you didn't need to know about the song why did you ask?" Olivia sighed folding her arms.

"Intrigue." Huang shrugged.

She smiled and shook her head as she headed for the door.

"Oh and Liv ..."

"Yes Cap?" She asked as she was about to turn the handle.

"Congratulations." He smiled.

"Thank you." She nodded her head and headed into the bullpen.

"So do we get to see this bling?" Fin asked coming over to her.

She smiled as she held out her hand for Fin and Munch to look. She hadn't even looked at it yet. It was a thin gold band with one large diamond in the middle. She rolled the end of the band under her thumb and felt that it was uneven. She turned her hand so her palm was up and found an engraving.

"Together." She read making her smile.

"That's cute." Elliot shrugged.

"Isn't it?" Olivia smiled unaware of the sarcasm in his comment, this was the happiest she'd felt in a long time but definitely since Michael's death.

****

**Benson-Jeffries household, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, June 30****rd**** 2008**

**10.21 pm**

"Why do you want to take my surname?" Olivia asked as she and Cole cuddled up on the sofa having finally settled Melissa down for the night.

"Well it's yours and Melissa's why shouldn't I be Benson too?" He shrugged.

"It's not traditional!" Olivia laughed.

"And since when have you ever been traditional?" He asked nibbling at her ear making her giggle foolishly.

"I haven't just thought you would be." She shrugged.

"Yeah? Well there's not much left to learn about me but that was definitely one thing." He smirked.

"What else is there to learn about you? I want to know it all!" She giggled as he pulled her underneath her.

"Well I've been dying to have you naked on this couch since we moved in." He whispered his voice breathy and seductive.

"Really?" She asked her voice also dipped low in seduction.

No more words were needed as the tore each other free from their clothes. There was no foreplay, not love making, but it wasn't just sex. It was passion, need, desire and love all in one go. With ease he slipped inside her making her gasp with pleasure.

"Oh Cole!" She moaned as she wrapped her legs around him, crossing her ankles making him sink deeper inside her.

They kept their cries low and whispered reminding themselves they had a four year old in bed. It didn't stop them though, their hips danced roughly, the sound of their actions filling the warm living room. As they came close to their climax he clutched her hand in his own and pressed it into their beating hearts.

"Together?" He asked breathlessly.

"Together." She replied as he thrust deep into her making them both climax.

****

**E/O is coming very very soon! I'm getting so excited for it! Ha! Anyway, happiness is short lived for Olivia until she's with Elliot so yano something bad is on its way... just what is it?**

**Please Review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.  
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**Sorry it's been a while haven't been well and been sleeping lots but here it is and thanks for sticking around!**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**9.02 am**

It had been a very long night, Olivia had been called into work at three am and she hadn't had a moment of sleep. Her eyes were fighting the fatigue that clouded her.

"Why don't you catch an hour in the cribs?" Elliot sighed seeing her internal struggle.

She just looked at him and he knew better than to ask again. He knew that catching an hour was worse than staying awake.

"Ok what have we got?" Cragen called coming into the bullpen.

"Trisha Ryan, age nine taken from her bed whilst her mother slept with her boyfriend, suspect is the father, we've dumped his phone and have red flagged his cards. AMBER alert has only just gone out and has yet to give us anything. Sperm found on her bedclothes but we don't have it in the system and ... oh hold on its Warner." Olivia answered the phone and pressed it to her ear. "Benson. Ok. Right. That would be great. Thank you." Olivia hung up and looked at the squad.

"What is it?" Cragen asked.

"The sperm isn't a DNA match to Trisha's father." Olivia sighed.

"How do you know?" Elliot scoffed.

"Because Warner compared it to the eight inch brown hairs from the bed which would be a familial match however, Warner thinks she's got something else and as she has some free time she's bringing it over now." Olivia explained.

"Right until Warner gives us whatever she has keep checking on the Father, and answer those damn phones!" Cragen exclaimed before turning on his heels and heading into his office. No one had noticed that all the phones in the room were ringing.

When Warner showed up Olivia hoped they'd have some new lead.

"What have you got for us?" Olivia asked as Warner handed her and Elliot a magnolia file each.

"DNA from the sperm is a familial match to the long black hairs on the floor of the bedroom which is from the half sister." Warner smirked the way she always did when she had a new piece of evidence for them.

"So the sperm is the step fathers?" Elliot asked in shock.

"Absolutely." Warner explained.

"Let's get him into interrogation..."

"Liv, Elliot, perp's got the kid in JFK he's shot a civilian and he's using the kid as a shield!" Fin yelled.

Olivia grabbed her car keys and rushed to the door. When she arrived at the stairs she saw Cole.

"Babe?" He asked.

"Hostage sit'." She explained.

"I'll come." He turned and followed her down the stairs and to her SUV now fitted with its own siren and lights.

****

**JFK Airport, New York**

**Monday, June 30****rd**** 2008**

**10.38 am**

It was a disaster. Five civilians had been shot and he'd warned if any cops came in stab vest's he'd kill the girl.

"No being hero's in there." The hostage negotiator said as Elliot, Olivia and Cole were wired up.

"We know, get the girl without having anyone killed." Elliot mumbled as he slipped the small object into his ear.

The three of them slowly walked into the airport normally bustling with people but now everyone here was stood still and silent. Olivia, Elliot and Cole split up. Their badges in their hands the apologised in a whisper as the slowly closed in on the perp.

Olivia was first to the front, her job was to get the girl's attention and get her calm. Elliot was to keep his gun on the perp and Cole was to distract him long enough for Elliot to shoot him. It wasn't going to be easy but they didn't want any more bloodshed.

"Liv you there?" Elliot mumbled momentarily releasing one hand from his gun.

"I'm in position, Jeffries, you there?" Olivia used his last name to try and distance herself from him.

"Yup, in position, go Benson." He replied.

Olivia crouched down and made an obvious movement to catch the little girl's eye. Olivia could see she was terrified. Nervously Olivia pressed her finger to her lips and the little girl just nodded as she tried to calm her tears.

"Done." Olivia mumbled knowing that Cole was to move next.

She could see him from her position and she nervously tried to keep her eyes on Trish who had instantly connected with her. At the other end of the crowd she saw that Cole was about to make his move. He took his chance and dived to his feet going for a run but the perp was fast and he took a shot, Elliot took that chance as the perp trailed his gun on Cole to land his shot. Olivia opened her arms taking in the frightened little girl. Olivia passed her to one of the uniformed officers who arrived at her side and explained that she'd be there in a minute. She looked around for Elliot and Cole but what she saw spurred her into action.

"No!" She screamed her terror filled voice scaring everyone again.

As she dived for Cole Elliot went to grab her.

"Don't Liv." Elliot whispered.

"Get off me!" She screamed freeing herself from his grip and diving onto the ground beside Cole.

"Baby I'm here, just stay with me." Olivia's cries were soft as she held her hands to the wound.

"Liv ..." He croaked.

"I'm here baby, you're going to be ok just hold on." She knew she was lying to him. He'd been hit in the chest and was slowly slipping away.

"I love you Liv, and Melly. I love you."

"I love you too. God! No! I love you." She began to sob over him as he drew his last breath. "Cole? Baby? Stay with me baby. Cole!"

He was gone. His eyes thankfully had closed but he was definitely gone. Her hands still pressed tight to his chest as she hoped she'd feel a heartbeat.

"Liv." Elliot whispered draping a jacket over her shoulders.

Olivia didn't reply. The tears dripped silently down her cheeks as she held onto him. She bent over him completely as she kissed him, his lips, his cheek, his head, she didn't care that she was covered from head to toe in his blood which had pooled all around her. She needed to feel his touch, just one last time. No one could move her.

It took Warner nearly an hour to arrive and Olivia was still crouched and draped over Cole's body. Warner looked at Elliot who shrugged.

"I need to move the body Elliot, restrain her, do what you have to but she needs to move." Warner explained, she knew it was unfair on him but he would be the only one able to.

He slowly made his way to her and wrapped his arms around her body lifting her to her feet. As he grabbed her blood stained hands she said nothing and as he lead her away she just glanced back at the body now being covered by the ME.

Elliot placed her gently into the police Sudan, after telling Munch and Fin what happened and giving them Olivia's car keys he watched as Olivia curled herself up into a ball in the passenger seat. He sighed, life could be cruel.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**12.44 pm**

When Olivia arrived at the precinct she walked without help to her desk. She dropped into her seat and placed her elbows on the desk before resting her head in her hands either unaware or not caring that she was spreading blood all over her face. Cragen saw the blood and ran to Elliot, no one had yet updated him.

"What happened?" Cragen asked as Elliot stared at his partner.

"Cole was shot, he's dead." Elliot whispered without peeling his eyes from Olivia.

"No!" Cragen gasped quietly. "His blood?"

"Every drop." Elliot replied.

"She needs to get cleaned up." Cragen explained.

"She hasn't said a word since she told him she loved him just before he went." Elliot sighed, it was killing him seeing Olivia like this.

"I'll try." Cragen sighed.

Slowly the aging man made his way to the desk. He leant up against it but Olivia didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Olivia?" He whispered but again no response. "Talk to me please Olivia." He said a little firmer.

She didn't even look at him as she pushed back her chair. Something was screaming inside her as she ran up the stairs from the bullpen before slamming the cribs door shut behind her. She let out a whimpering sigh as she climbed onto the furthest cot and rolled herself into foetus position. She just wanted to forget.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**2.17 pm**

"How long she been up there?" Huang asked as he sat around the table with the detectives.

"About an hour and a half." Cragen replied his voice hoarse and dry from being quiet for so long.

"Has she said anything?" Huang continued.

"Not since she said goodbye to him." Elliot answered.

"Where's her gun?" Huang asked his voice alarmed making three of the four snap their heads up.

"Here." Elliot whispered throwing the weapon onto the table.

"She never gave that to you?" Fin retorted knowing Olivia would never willingly hand over something that had become a comfort to her.

"No, I slipped it from the holster when I placed her in the car." Elliot replied.

"That was unfair." Fin hissed.

"So, you'd rather her eat the damn thing?" Elliot bit rising to his feet and Fin jumping to his own both men squaring up to each other.

"There's not a chance she'd do that Stabler." Fin hissed.

"Actually there is and it's a very good thing that Elliot took that gun, even if it was sneaky." Huang replied.

"Yes so the two of you sit down or hand over your own gun's and go home." Cragen gave them the ultimatum and after a few threatening looks they both resumed their seats.

"Where do we go from here then?" Elliot asked looking at Huang.

"I honestly think the only person who is going to be able to help is Melissa." Huang sighed.

"Melly is going nowhere near Olivia until she's washed and changed." Cragen replied firmly, that was his granddaughter and there was no way he was going to get her traumatised.

"I know that. Someone actually needs to physically force her to wash and change." Huang suggested.

"Yes and as if any of us are going to do that." Elliot hissed.

"I'll try talking to her Elliot but I don't think I'm going to get a response and that's the end of it."

"Don't. I'll dump her in the shower, it's not like it would be the first time I saw her in her underwear." Elliot sighed and then he panicked when he saw everyone's eyebrows raise. "God! Not like that! I just mean when we've been on a long shift and we're both changing in cribs! No me and Liv! Never!" He gasped.

Everyone around the table laughed gently.

"Throw her in the shower, get her clean and dressed and I'll get Melly." Cragen sighed getting to his feet.

Elliot sighed as he followed his Captain out. This was going to be a long day.

"Liv?" Elliot whispered as he entered into the cribs.

When no reply came he went over and saw that she wasn't sleeping. Her eyes were glazed, unmoving, unblinking and it scared him, she looked dead.

Slowly he wrapped his arms around her and eased her into his grasp. He didn't bother making her walk instead he carried her to the showers. Turning one on he sat on the floor and held her as the water washed over them both. He didn't care that they were both fully clothed, he just wanted the blood from her.

"El." She whimpered.

"I know." He replied.

He grabbed one of the small towels hanging on the side and soaked it under the water. Once it was drenched he began by wiping her face, removing the now drying blood from her skin. Moans and whimpers left her lips but no audible words. He moved to her neck, gently wiping. She didn't make things easy for him as she lay against him, limp, still unmoving, still dead. He blinked back his tears as he wiped the remaining blood from her hands. Once he was sure she was cleaned he turned the shower off. He realised he hadn't though this through. He hadn't grabbed any towels to dry them off with and neither had he bought through their clothes. As she was so limp he rested her in the corner of the wide block and rushed out of the door.

"Fin!" He yelled leaning over the banister.

"Jesus Stabler you..."

"Not now Fin, come give me a hand!" He yelled.

Fin dived up the stairs and grabbed everything Elliot told him too. He hadn't expected or been warned about the state he'd find in the showers.

"Stabler..." Fin gasped noticing how dead Olivia looked.

"I know." Elliot replied as he took a towel from Fin's arms.

He wrapped the towel around Olivia and carried her out of the showers and back into the cribs. He didn't care about his cold, wet clothes, he just cared about Olivia. He sat down on one of the cribs and slowly rubbed her arms trying to put some heat back into her body.

"Elliot you need to change her." Fin sighed knowing that there was no way Elliot could do it himself.

"I know." Elliot replied.

Olivia still didn't move and still didn't blink as Elliot unbuttoned her blouse and Fin helped prop her up. He threw the wet garment onto the floor and pulled a large NYPD t-shirt over her head. Fin then adjusted her so Elliot could remove her slacks. He did it quickly and Fin looked away trying to give the grieving woman some sense of modesty and privacy. In seconds there slacks were off and replaced with a pair of dry ones that he'd pulled from her locker. He grabbed one of the dry towels and wrapped it around her shoulders pulling her into him again.

"Stabler?" Fin whispered.

"Yeah?" Elliot asked.

"Get changed, I'll watch Olivia." Fin sighed pulling Olivia gently into his own arms and resting his chin on her head. The only indentation that she was living was her shivering body and gentle rising and falling chest.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**3.36 pm**

"Mommy?" Melissa's voice made something snap inside Olivia.

She jumped from Fin's arms and rushed to the door, scooping the little girl into her arms and embracing her tight.

"Mommy are you still sad about Michael?" Melissa asked innocently.

"Yes baby but there's something else." Olivia sighed.

She went over to the furthest cot. She held Melissa in her arms and she took a couple of deep breaths as she tried to muster the words to tell her daughter.

"Melly, Daddy's ... Uh... Daddy's gone to be with Michael in heaven." Olivia held back the tears as she told her daughter.

"He's an angel too?" Melissa asked innocently.

"Yes baby." Olivia held her daughter close to her chest.

"Was he poorly like Mikey?" Melissa asked.

"No baby, he wasn't poorly see, when he was working today a bad man hurt him and that made him poorly." Olivia tried to explain unsure what Huang who was watching from the doorway with Cragen would say about her explanation.

"Did you get the bad man Mommy?"

"Uncle Elliot did baby. He can never hurt anyone again." Olivia whispered.

"At least Daddy and Michael are together, like you and me." Melissa smiled softly.

"Yes baby Michael and Daddy are ..." Her voice turned into a whimper as she whispered the last word. "together."

****

**I know, I'm cruel, but it's where the strange little woman in my head is telling me to go with this story so who cares ;) :P hahaa ready for the E/O it slowly begins next chapter. **

**Please Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to Michelle1623, Amber77. for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**5.17 pm**

Olivia sat back in her desk chair and watched as Melissa played with Fin. She'd spoken to no one but her daughter and everyone in the squad room had given up trying.

"Will she speak to anyone again?" Cragen asked unable to mask the fear in his voice.

"Given time, She buried her son last week and now she's lost her fiancé, I'm praying she doesn't completely break down." Huang explained, being a friend and not a shrink.

"Shit." Cragen mumbled as the phone on his desk began to ring. "Cragen." He growled as he answered, he'd specifically had all SVU cases tossed to Brooklyn and Queens for the rest of the day. "Alright, no bring them up. Might do her some good. Yeah. No problem. Bye." He slammed the handset down and went back to Huang in the doorway.

"Who?" Huang asked seeing the call had affected Cragen.

"Cole's Mom and Sister are downstairs, they're on their way up, want to see Olivia." He explained.

"Might be good for her, she reacted to Melissa." Huang replied gently.

"I hope so but it could go the other way, make her push them away ..." Cragen was cut off when he saw Captain Jenkins and the two women approach the bullpen.

He rushed to Olivia's side as Cole's mother spotted her.

"Olivia!" She cried.

Olivia jumped to her feet in time to catch Mrs Jeffries embrace.

"Oh Olivia dear." She cried as she held Olivia's still quite limp body. "How are you holding up?" She asked pulling from the embrace.

"I'm ok." Olivia whispered her eyes on the floor.

"Now that's a lie, come here." Mrs Jeffries sighed pulling Olivia into her arms again.

"Auntie Tammy!" Melissa beamed jumping up into Tammy's arms.

"Hey Mel." Tammy smiled softly as she cuddled the small child.

"Auntie Tammy are you sad because of Daddy?" Melissa asked sensing the young woman's sadness.

"Yeah baby, Auntie Tammy's sad because of Daddy." Tammy replied softly.

"He's gone to be with Michael in heaven." Melissa replied.

"I know baby." Tammy whispered trying to hold back her tears.

Melissa was handling it better than anyone else.

"Captain Cragen we should speak in your office with the family?" Captain Jenkins explained.

"You really want to do that now? I have the fiancé who will speak to no one but her daughter and his mother, a four year old who's handling the loss better than anyone and the sister and mother who have come here to make sure his daughter and future wife are ok!" Cragen's whispered was vicious.

"I didn't mean discuss anything, just have them in the office so they could talk, he's an NYPD officer, I'm sure Benson understands she needs to worry about nothing with the funeral arrangements, everything else can wait." Jenkins replied calmly.

"Oh yes, uh, of course." Cragen sighed feeling like a bit of an idiot for over reacting.

Slowly the family gathered in Cragen's office. The aging Captain couldn't take his eyes off her, she still hadn't spoken to anyone but Melissa and Mrs Jeffries, one who was sat in her lap and the other who was keeping a tight grip on her hand.

"Our condolences to you all." Jenkins sighed once everyone seemed to be seated comfortably.

"Thank you Captain Jenkins, I'm sure this loss has hit you as hard as it has hit us." Mrs Jeffries replied.

"Yes, it has been a tremendous loss down in missing persons as it has been up here in SVU." He replied his eyes flickering from the mother to Olivia and back again.

"Well he was a very loved young man Captain." Mrs Jeffries replied sadly.

"Yes Mrs Jeffries he was."

"Now the funeral, I believe he will be having an officer's send off?" Mrs Jeffries went on, this was how she was going to grieve, by keeping busy.

"Of course unless the family ..." He nervously flickered his eyes to Olivia who was too busy holding Melissa to listen. "... unless the family want something different."

"We have one request, if Olivia agrees that is..." Mrs Jeffries said pulling Olivia into the present tense. "...we would like him to be buried with his son." Mrs Jeffries said firmly.

"If Detective Benson has no objections, it's her decision as the living next of kin to Michael Benson." Jenkins explained.

"No, I want him with Mikey." Olivia whispered her voice ever failing.

"Then that is that, and the service at the same church as Mikey had his." Mrs Jeffries went on.

"That isn't a problem Mrs Jeffries." The Captain replied.

"Good, then I'm guessing I can leave everything else in your capable hands Captain Jenkins. Now I would like to go home and grieve for my son." Mrs Jeffries got to her feet and Tammy was right behind her.

Olivia didn't move a muscle as the woman and her daughter left. The two Captains' knew the mother wouldn't cry in front of them but they were both worrying about the young Detective in front of them.

"Liv?" Cragen called softly.

Without saying a word she looked at him. He saw the glassy eyed expression that he'd seen in so many before, she'd seen it too, in victims who had no soul. His heart shattered in his chest and he slowly stood up and went to the door Captain Jenkins at his heels.

"Don?" Jenkins asked once he was sure the door was closed behind him.

"I know Tony, I know." Cragen sighed.

"Well what are you going to do Don? She's not in any position to look after herself and she has a four year old to think about." Jenkins explained, he had grown to like Olivia since her relationship with Cole.

"I'm going to have Huang speak with her. I really think he might be able to evoke a reaction from her." He shrugged as he spotted the Doctor looking at him he made a hand gesture.

"I don't know if it will work Don." Huang sighed knowing what the Captain wanted from him.

"It might not, it might backfire completely but we are running out of options. For my granddaughter's sake I am asking you to snap her out of it." Donald Cragen was begging.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**5.59 pm**

Huang sat in Captain Cragen's chair. His hands resting on the desk, clasped together as he watched Olivia's limp body. Cragen had taken Melissa into the bullpen leaving the two to talk but in the five minutes he'd been sat there she hadn't move only to blink and to breathe.

"Olivia, everyone's worrying about you." Huang began trying again.

Nothing.

"They're not just worrying about you though... They're worrying about Melissa."

It was the exact thing to say to evoke a reaction from her. Her head snapped so her eyes met his in a lingering stare. His eyes were soft, gentle and welcoming, hers were cold, empty and tired.

"They're worried that you won't be able to take care of yourself and Melissa." He was calling for a reaction from her. And it was exactly what he got.

She jumped to her feet and marched out of the office. She grabbed her coat, purse and keys.

"Melly baby come on we're going." She smiled softly.

Melissa knew her mother was upset and rushed into her waiting arms. Olivia scooped the girl up and without a word to anyone rushed from the building.

Once in the parking lot she found her car in her named spot and helped strap Melissa into her seat. She was on edge wondering if anyone from SVU had been stupid enough to follow her but when she saw they hadn't she climbed into the car.

She barely made it around the block before she had to pull over. The lingering tears were clouding her vision and she wasn't going to put Melissa's life at risk.

"Mommy?" Melissa asked as Olivia dropped her head to the steering wheel.

"What is it Melly?" She asked softly.

"Are you sad because of Daddy?" The young girl asked her voice a whisper.

"Yeah baby, Mommy's really sad." Olivia explained trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"I'm sad too Mommy, I'm really gonna miss Daddy." Melissa's bottom lip quivered and Olivia reached over and unstrapped her from her seat before pulling Melissa into her arms.

They cried together, for each other, for Michael and for Cole.

Olivia didn't know how long she'd been sat there sobbing with Melissa but she jumped out of her skin when there was a knock on the window.

"Elliot!" She yelled as he climbed into the back seat.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." He whispered.

"What do you want?" Olivia asked her voice a barely audible whimper.

"I was going to your place till I spotted the car, you really can't miss this machine Liv." He chuckled softly and she even cracked a weak smile.

"Why?" She asked.

"Why what?"

"Why were you going to my place?" She asked.

"I just didn't think you'd want to be alone." He explained locking his eyes on her in the rear-view mirror.

"I won't be alone, I've got Melly." Olivia sighed.

"You know what I mean." He whispered.

"Yeah I do. I just want to get her home, get her fed and bathed and put her to bed and curl up on the couch El, I'm not really going to be much company." Olivia sighed a part of her wanting him to stay with her, another part of her wanting him to leave her alone.

"I know, I just want to sit down and be there if you need me."

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**6.24 pm**

Olivia kept up an act as she cooked and had tea with Melissa and Elliot. He helped her bathe her and put her too bed. He stayed beside her as she stroked Melissa's hair helping her drift off to sleep. Once down stairs she lay down on the couch and pulled the throw blanket over her shoulders. She felt so cold even though the heating was on full. She didn't know how much she was shaking but Elliot could see, he didn't know how to react as he'd never seen Olivia like this, and it scared the living crap out of him.

Her eyes were glued to the large family portrait above the fireplace that had only a week earlier been sitting on the steps in front of Michael's coffin. She couldn't cry even though she wanted too. Anything would have felt better than the numbness that had hit her.

She didn't flinch when Elliot's phone rang and she didn't even care or wonder who was calling him. He saw the caller ID and slipped into the kitchen closing the door behind him.

"Stabler." He answered.

"Elliot where are you?" Cragen asked.

"I'm in Liv's." Elliot replied.

"Good how is she?" Cragen asked knowing it was a silly question really.

"I don't know Cap. She cooked, played with her food while Mel ate, bathed her, put her to bed and stayed with her until she was asleep and then she's lying on the sofa staring at the picture on the mantle."Elliot sighed.

"Has she spoken with you?" Cragen asked.

"She did in the car when I got to her but she hasn't since, only with Mel." He explained.

"Ok Huang's here and has listened to everything you've said and he wants to talk to you now."

Elliot just sighed as the phone went from one hand to the other.

"Elliot?" Huang asked.

"Yeah, I'm still here." Elliot replied.

"You need to talk to her, about anything, Cole, Melissa, Michael, her, anything and even if she doesn't reply keep talking, you need to get some reaction from her. How do her eyes look?"

"Dead." Elliot mumbled, there was no other way of describing the look she was giving.

"She's in shock and if we don't get her talking soon she is going to go catatonic." Huang explained.

"Yeah alright Doc I'll do what I can." Elliot replied knowing he had to do this for Melissa's sake if not for Liv.

"Call if you need anything Elliot, I'll be awake all night." Huang sighed before passing the phone to Cragen.

"Take care of her Elliot, doesn't matter how much she pushes you away and slams doors and walks away, right now she needs you." Cragen sighed.

"I know Cap, I won't leave her." He whispered. "I'll call if I need anything otherwise I'll speak to you when I can. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Elliot."

As the line went dead Elliot knew he had a long night ahead of him, so he made himself and Olivia a coffee before going back into the living room to find she hadn't moved a muscle.

"Are you hungry Liv? I could make us something." Elliot suggested.

Nothing.

"Liv? Hello?" He tried in vain.

He sat back into the couch with his coffee. She hadn't even acknowledged him when he came back into the room and told her there was a coffee on the table for her. He would have loved to have Huang by his side.

That thought gave him an idea. He rushed into the kitchen with his phone and found the unfamiliar number that he never thought he'd use.

"George, can you come over and help me?" Elliot asked his voice desperate and pleading.

"Thank you." He whispered before hanging up.

Now all he had to do was hang tight till the shrink arrived.

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 1st 2008**

**10.11 pm**

"Thank you!" Elliot's relief was unmistakable when he answered the door to let in George Huang.

"No problem Elliot, she needs her friends around but if they can't cope then what use are they." He smiled gently as Elliot nodded, usually Elliot would tell him to go to hell then punch something.

"She's in the living room, I'll make some more coffee." Elliot mumbled.

George Huang walked into the living room and saw what Elliot had described. Even though Olivia was looking at a visible object her eyes were glassy and distant like she was looking through into nothingness. He sighed as he sat in the armchair at the furthest end of the room by the window. He could one, get a better view and two, be far away if she decided to throw something at him.

"Olivia." He whispered.

Nothing.

"Olivia, we need you to talk to us..." Huang's speech was cut short by an ear splitting scream from upstairs that had Olivia diving from the sofa as fast as lighting, as quick as George Huang had looked up Olivia had ran.

She didn't stumble or hesitate as she rushed into Melissa's bedroom. She didn't bother shutting the door behind her as she wrapped her arms around the terrified child.

"Mommy's here baby, Mommy's right here you're safe." Olivia whispered as she rocked Melissa backwards and forwards planting gentle kisses on her forehead.

"Mommy?" Melissa whimpered.

"Right here Melly." Olivia smiled as the four year old pulled back to look at her. "Did you have a nightmare?" Olivia asked gently.

"That the bad man was coming to get you." Melissa whispered.

"The bad man's gone baby, he can never hurt anyone ever again." Olivia explained cupping Melissa's tear stained cheeks in her hand. "I'm going nowhere baby, I'm never leaving you. Ok?" Olivia asked her voice comforting yet stern.

"Ok Mommy." Melissa replied falling back into her pillows.

"Want me to stay till you sleep?" Olivia asked.

"No, but will you tuck me in like Daddy did?" Melissa asked.

Olivia smiled, she remembered how Cole would tuck her in at night making her squeal with delight.

"I'll try. Lie flat on your back then." Olivia smiled as Melissa tensed up, closing her eyes as tight and piercing her lips together.

Olivia reached a hand on each side of her waist and tickled the duvet underneath her earning the same shrieks of laughter and in turn she laughed herself, momentarily forgetting the pain.

George and Elliot who had been watching from the door way took this as their sign to go back down stairs.

"Now sleep tight ..."

"and don't let the bed bugs bite." Melissa finished as she snuggled into her blankets.

"Sleep tight my princess." Olivia whispered.

"Night Mommy, Night Daddy, Night Michael." Melissa whispered as Olivia closed the door her heat bleeding from what she had just heard.

She took a moment outside the bedroom door to compose herself. Catching her breath and calming her heart rate before realising she had two people downstairs who wanted answers. Slowly, she made her way into her bedroom and changed into a set of Cole's sweat's and his NYPD t-shirt. His smell lingered on them bringing her comfort. She grabbed his robe from the end of the four poster bed before slipping on her own slippers.

Calmly she made her way down to the silent living room. As she entered both men looked at her and she gave them a weak smile as she sat at the edge of the couch. She took the fresh mug of coffee into her trembling hands before looking up at Huang.

"What do you want to know?" She asked shakily.

"Well start by telling me how you're feeling." Huang suggested.

"Should I..." Elliot began but a look from Olivia told him that no, he shouldn't leave them alone to speak.

"I'm defeated George." She replied trying to be as honest with him as possible.

"What do you mean by defeated Olivia?" He asked and she smiled gently seeing that look of intrigue fill his face, the one feeling he could never hide from her.

"I mean I've got nothing left to give, no emotions running through me, I'd rather be crying or throwing things but I can't because the only thing I feel is defeated." Olivia explained before taking a sip of her coffee made exactly the way she liked it curtsey of Elliot.

"What about when you were upstairs with Melissa? What did you feel?" Huang asked.

"Love, the need to protect and comfort her." Olivia replied like her voice robotic almost like it was reading from a text book. "I can still take care of my daughter doctor Huang." She hissed and he and Elliot both knew they were stepping on very dangerous territory.

"With the way you reacted when she woke Olivia, no one is disputing that." He replied in his soothing 'tell me everything' voice.

"Good, just because I am unable to feel very much at this moment I have a four year old upstairs who can feel everything and she may be taking the death of her father very well but she is still grieving." Olivia sighed.

Elliot watched her carefully. He could see what she meant by defeated. Her shoulders were hunched and her back curved awkwardly. It wasn't the strong woman he knew and loved.

"What are your plans for tomorrow Olivia?" Huang asked.

"I'm going to carry on as normal, for Melly's sake." Olivia whispered.

"What do you mean by carry on as normal?" Huang probed.

"I'm going to get washed and dressed with Mel have her fed and ready for school, I'm going to take her in and listen to that blasted nursery rhyme CD she loves then I'm going to go to work then at six o'clock I plan to pick Melly up from homework or book club which ever she has tomorrow, bring her home we're going to have tea and then she'll get bathed and go to bed. The same thing we do every school day." Olivia explained her voice sounding a little more human but still like she was reading a manual or a list.

"Is that what you think is best?" Huang continued.

"Yes."

"For you or for Melly?"

"For both of us." Olivia whispered.

She hadn't realised what she was doing but Elliot and Huang had noticed. She was playing with the ring on her engagement finger whilst looking at the picture above the mantle. She placed the mug on the coffee table and lay down, slowly draping the blanket over herself, resuming the position she had been in before Melissa had woken up, and both Huang and Elliot just watched as they slowly lost her.

****

****

**Next chapter, Olivia suicide attempt? Really? Read on to find out! **

**Please Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you to ... for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**8.53 am**

The room went silent as Olivia entered the bullpen. She stopped at the sudden disappearance of all noise and as she scanned the room she saw that they were all staring at her.

"Back to work!" Cragen yelled as he walked towards Olivia who dropped her head and rushed to the coffee pot.

"Olivia what are you doing here?" He asked gently placing his hand on her back.

"Trying to live normally." She sighed as she struggled to pour herself a mug of coffee because of her shaking hands.

"You don't need to be here, go home and take the day." He suggested.

"No, it will drive me mad, it did when Mikey died and I had Cole then to ..." Her voice cracked as she thought of Cole. "I had Cole to take care of me, now I have to carry on for Melly's sake, she decided she wanted to go to school and I wasn't about to sit in that massive house on my own twiddling my thumbs." She explained angrily.

Once the coffee was poured she left Cragen standing there. He could only watch her as she pulled off her Jacket, and expertly placed it over her chair he saw that she was staring at the array of photo frames that littered her desk. He expected a cry, or something but when he saw her smile he found himself also smiling.

"Benson?" Richards asked coming into the bullpen.

"Richards, how are you?" Olivia asked turning to face her fiancé's partner.

"I'm managing how are you? How come you're here? Are they making you work?"

"Calm down Richards, it's my choice to be here, Mel's gone to school so I saw no harm. What you doing up in SVU?" She asked her eyebrows raising towards the cardboard box in his arms.

"Oh, well I was supposed to give these to Cragen to give to you but seeing as you're here. They're his things from his desk and ... other personal items that Jenkins and I thought belonged to you." Richards explained shakily handing her the box.

"Thank you." She mumbled without even a glance towards the contents.

"Call me if you need anything ok Olivia, Cole asked me to be there for you if anything happened to him and I want you to know, I am here if you or Mel ever need me." He felt the tears build in his eyes so Olivia watched as he spun on his heels and vanished.

She sighed and carried herself to her seat. She sat down holding the box on her lap. Her mind was conflicted, a part of her wanted to see what they thought she had any rights to from his desk but then seeing things she'd seen as she'd sat on his desk talking for endless hours would be a real reminder that he wasn't two floors beneath her. One shaky hand at a time she opened the flap and peered inside. Lying right there on the top of the pile was his shield. Her trembling hand picked it up and she stroke the numbers she knew by heart with her thumb. Four numbers that she had tattooed on her right hip, the exact line her pants would sit.

"4071" She whispered her eyes closed.

"Olivia?" Huang asked leaning on her desk.

"George." She nodded to acknowledge his presence.

"How are you this morning?" He asked her.

"Just fine." She hissed through gritted teeth. Right now she wanted privacy to look through the box not Huang looking over her shoulder.

Sighing she dropped the badge into the box and got to her feet.

"Where are you heading?" He asked her.

"Anywhere but here." She replied as she made her way out of the bullpen.

"Detective Benson are you alright?" A young uniformed officer with a huge Irish accent asked her.

"I'm fine McGregor, Thank you for asking." She smiled gently.

"Where ya headed?" He asked trying to make conversation.

"Up top." She replied. "Just need some privacy, we can talk later though okay." Olivia smiled at him before continuing on her mission.

She didn't realise how confused she had left him when she had said 'up top' but it was her little sanctuary and the only place she felt like being at that moment, as close to Cole and Mikey as she could get.

**AN: the next blocks are two exact same time frames but in different places all happening at the same time, so check the place and time so you can keep up. Sorry for interruption and now back to the story.**

****

**The Roof, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**9.36 am**

As she stepped out onto roof she welcomed the rush of cold air that enveloped her. She checked which way the wind was blowing to make sure it was safe to move to where she and Cole had shared some personal talking time. When she arrived at the ledge she climbed onto it leaning against the tower behind her so she was sitting side on, Manhattan on one side and the roof on the other. As she took a deep breath she spread her legs to straddle the wall as she placed the box carefully between them. Slowly she pulled out the shield again, admiring how different it was from her own. Her badge showed she belonged to Special Victims, his showed he belonged to Missing Persons. She placed the shield on her belt beside her own and it fit perfectly making her smile.

"You wore women's belts Cole!" She laughed out loud.

It gave her the push to look further into the box, the next objected she pulled out was a picture of them together dancing, she had no idea who had taken it but it was at the policeman's ball when they had attended together. That was seven months ago now.

"We were dancing to show me heaven in this picture." She sighed softly.

Among many other pictures she found the small pink key fob that she'd got in the fair, a blue puppy teddy that she'd won for him in the fair, his aviator sunglasses and one of her scrunchies as well as a half empty bottle of her favourite perfume.

"So that's where the other bottle vanished too you soppy git!" She laughed.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**9.36 am**

"Well did you speak with her?" Cragen asked Huang as he entered the office.

"I was lucky enough to get a hello and then she marched off." Huang sighed slumping into one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"I wish I could see what was going on in that head of hers." Cragen sighed also slumping back into his chair, they weren't being formal, they were being worried friends and family.

"She's grieving Don and we just have to let her do it in her own way, it must be really tough for her having only just buried Michael and now having to bury Cole too, she's lost two people that she actually let in to her life and you and I both know she doesn't do that easily." Huang explained softly.

"I know, and she's going to push everyone she loves away now, from fear of being hurt again." Cragen sighed.

"Everyone but Melissa." Huang added.

"What do you mean?" Cragen frowned not understanding his point.

"She's closer to Melissa now than she ever was, she wants to keep her safe, watch her as much as she can to make sure she doesn't get hurt too. The reason Olivia sent Melly to school wasn't to keep her mind off her father but because she knows that at school Melly is safe." Huang explained.

Cragen rested his head in his hands as he thought, his heart was breaking for Olivia and Melly, he wanted to protect them but Olivia was pushing him away from both of them. He knew he had to fight to save their relationship, his with Olivia and his with his granddaughter.

"I'm going to get her." Cragen sighed getting to her feet.

"Don't push her too far Don, she'll come round in time but she does need that time." Huang sighed.

"I know." Cragen nodded as he swung open the door ready to shout for his only female detective, but he noticed she hadn't returned to her seat.

"Stabler where's Benson?" He asked calling to her partner.

"Don't know haven't seen her all morning." He shrugged. "Not since she left to take Melly to school, has she been in at all?" Elliot was worrying.

"Yeah, she was in but she marched off somewhere. Fin, Munch, any of you two seen Olivia?" He asked hopeful.

"Nope sorry Cap."

"No I haven't, saw her talking to Cole's partner earlier." Fin explained.

Where on earth had Olivia vanished too?

****

**The Roof, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**9.54 am**

Olivia wrapped her arms around herself wishing she'd have bought her coat with her. The wind was nippy but she didn't want to leave yet, she felt close to both Cole and Michael here and she didn't want to leave that yet.

"How am I supposed to bring Melly up on my own?" She asked softly. "I need you here with me, to help me make sure I don't fuck up her life."

Her eyes were shut as she spoke.

"I won't let her go though Cole, she's all I have left now." Olivia whispered as she breathed in the cool Manhattan summer air.

The clouds separated and the sunlight slowly filled her face making her sit up and open her eyes.

"I know baby, you and me, together." She whispered.

Slowly she put the box of objects on the floor and with the support of the tower beside her she shakily got to her feet.

"Together."

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**9.54 am**

"Where is she?" Cragen asked as he stood over Elliot who was searching Olivia's locker.

"She's definitely not gone far." Elliot smiled pulling her car keys from the side pocket of her purse.

"Well put them back before she finds out we went digging." He whispered not liking having to invade his detective's privacy.

"So no coat and no car, she has to be in the precinct somewhere." Munch sighed. "Maybe the FBI came in and grabbed her."

"Shut your mouth old man and don't go giving us any of your stupid ideas, we need to find baby girl and make sure she's alright." Fin sighed hitting Munch lightly on the shoulder in frustration.

"She might have gone to missing persons to mope at his desk?" Elliot suggested.

"Let's go." Cragen nodded and the four of them rushed off, Elliot and Cragen went for the elevators and Munch and Fin went for the stairs in case they accidentally slipped by her.

When they walked into Missing Persons the atmosphere changed dramatically, it was very sombre, Cole's picture in his dress blue's stood on an easel with the NYPD flag draped across the corner.

"Cragen, Stabler, Tutuola and Munch, to what does Missing Persons owe the pleasure?" Jenkins asked walking towards them.

"We're looking for Benson, we thought she may be down here at his desk." Cragen asked shaking Jenkins hand.

"Nope, Richards cleaned out his desk this morning and he should have bought the box up to you with things for her, did you not get it?" Jenkins asked.

"No, but he may have given it to Olivia." Cragen sighed. "Alright, has she been down here at all?" Cragen asked.

"Richards, when was the last time you saw Benson?" Jenkins asked.

"When I gave her Jeffries things." He replied softly.

"Then no she hasn't been down here." Jenkins replied.

"If you see her call me and don't tell her we're looking for her." Cragen smiled as he turned on his heels.

"Call and say nothing." Jenkins replied as he watched the SVU squad minus Olivia drift out of his squad room.

Once back in the bullpen Cragen stood in front of everyone.

"Who's seen Benson? Anyone got any idea on where Detective Benson is?" He called into the open space where detectives and uniformed officers continued to work cases.

"Sir, Captain, I saw Benson earlier, she was carrying a box." A uniformed officer said rushing to stand in front of him.

"Did she say anything?" Cragen asked.

"Yes when I asked her where she was going she said 'up top' I mean I have no idea ..."

"Captain!" Elliot yelled his eyes widening and his face turning a sickly shade of white.

"Spit it out Stabler!" He spat.

"Up top, that's what Olivia and Cole called the roof." Elliot exclaimed.

"Someone get me a jump squad NOW!"

****

**The Roof, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**10.15 am**

Olivia felt free. It was the only way to describe it. She was leaning onto the tower and looking out across the open skies of Manhattan. Suddenly she wasn't lost or numb or defeated, she felt alive and surprisingly happy. The connection she found to have with Cole here was something she didn't want to let go of and even though the chill of the air made her shiver every now and again, she accepted the warmth of the sun and bathed in it. She'd been given a pair of Cole's sunglasses in the box and she'd happily slipped them on so she wasn't squinting as much as she admired the view.

"I'm going to make a great life for Melly, I promise. She'll never forget who you are Cole, or what you did for her and she'll never forget Mikey either, I won't let that happen." Olivia spoke freely knowing that nobody was watching.

"Because you promised, that everything we did was going to be together."

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**10.15 am**

"The jump team have got a visual Cap." Fin said as he rushed towards him.

"How do we go about this Huang?" Cragen asked his voice shaking.

"Just the four of you, together, have to talk her down from the ledge. I'll be there to help support all of you but this really is between you lot, you're her family and she needs to know that." Huang explained like a static robot, he himself panicking and instead of showing the real human side of himself he started talking like a computer.

"They're ready." Fin sighed bringing the Captain from his imagination and back into the room. "You ready?" Fin asked.

"Not yet, when we get there what are the does and don'ts?" Cragen asked Huang.

"Don't yell, don't rush to her. You know how this works Cap, you've done a hundred of these things." Huang sighed.

"It's never been my little girl up there before though has it?" Cragen spat and began moving making the rest of the detective's follow suit.

****

**The Roof, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**10.31 am**

"I don't think I can get through your funeral though Cole, I barely survived Michael's and I only did that because I had you by my side. How can I do any of this without you Cole? Why did you have to go and leave me now? When I still needed you?" She shook her head, she had plenty of questions but no answers for them.

Olivia heard the door of the roof going, she had been waiting for it so it didn't make her jump. She didn't even flinch or attempt to get down.

"Olivia?" Cragen called slowly approaching her.

"If I was going to jump don't you think I'd have done it already?" Olivia asked her voice dry and indifferent which sent shivers down the men's' spines. They'd never heard her speak like this before.

"Come down from the ledge Olivia." Cragen managed to ask after swallowing hard.

"Not yet, I'm quite comfortable." She replied still unmoving and still indifferent. "I came here to be close to Cole and it worked and I am not ready to get down just yet. Answer my question Huang, if I was going to jump wouldn't I have done it already?"

"How did she?" Fin mouthed to Elliot who just shrugged.

"I'm quite the Detective Fin, I know that Elliot and Munch are there too and I don't have eyes in the back of my head and no government agency has gotten into my mind either, the wind carries the noise, the second you all stepped through the door I counted five different footsteps, each one different from the next, now Huang please answer me question?"

"I believe if you were going to jump you would have done it already Olivia, you're right." Huang replied. "Yet, we'd all feel more comfortable if you stepped down."

"Not yet, I should probably explain to you why I am up here." Olivia sighed. "I'm not suicidal, if I was I wouldn't be here alone, I'd be here with Melissa and you all know me well enough to know I'm not a heartless bitch who is going to leave my four year old alone in this world. Secondly, I wouldn't jump from the roof of the building I work, you may have confiscated my on duty weapon but both Cole and I had off duty ones, if I wanted to go, I'd have eaten one of those." Olivia explained. "I really did want to feel close to Cole, we shared a lot of secrets up here and I had a few more I'd like to share."

"Can you share them from the ledge Liv? Please?" Elliot asked.

"Elliot Stabler? Afraid of a woman standing at the edge of a building? Never thought I'd see the day." Olivia smirked and even though the others couldn't see it they knew she was doing it.

"Please Olivia?" Cragen pleaded and Huang shook his head.

Pleading with her was not going to work and the last thing they wanted was angry Liv or depressed Liv whilst she was stood at the edge.

"Really Cragen? You called a jump team?" Olivia laughed as she spotted the large blanket that would catch her fall should she jump.

"I was scared Olivia." He replied.

"I didn't mean to scare you Cap." Olivia whispered.

Huang nodded and used his hand to signal that Cragen continue.

"You scared us all Olivia, the way you're feeling with loosing Cole, it's what we would feel if we lost you." Cragen explained.

Olivia suddenly felt very guilty, she hadn't meant to make them scared or worried. In one flash she turned around and jumped onto the roof. She ran and wrapped her arms around Cragen and he, once over the shock, wrapped his arms around her and rubbed his cheek into hers.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I really wasn't here to jump, I swear I just wanted to connect with Cole." She hiccupped through her sobs.

"I know Olivia." He replied as Fin draped the blanket they'd bought up over her shoulders and Munch collected the box of items from Cole's desk.

Once in the precinct Elliot took over the role of trying to put heat into Olivia's body whilst Fin made her a decent cup of coffee. Elliot was rubbing her arms gently, as he brushed his hand against hers he felt how cold her skin was.

"Next time you go spend time on the roof, take a jacket." He whispered making her laugh.

"Here you go Liv." Fin smiled passing her a steaming mug of black coffee.

"Mmh, Thanks Fin." She smiled.

"Now why don't I ever hear you make that noise when I make you coffee?" Munch asked softly.

"Because you're coffee would tear through even my stomach lining Munch!" Elliot quipped making Olivia giggle again.

"Olivia when you're ready you can have an eval with Huang." Cragen smiled gently, he knew she wasn't going to jump and so did Huang.

"Can it wait? I want to go get Melly and go home, I want to be off till after the funeral if that's alright." Olivia explained. "I think it's what I should do right now." She added.

"Of course, just expect lots of visitors because we want to see you and Melly too." Cragen smiled.

"I wouldn't dream of shutting you lot out, if I didn't have you and Melly, I probably would have jumped."

****

**Hahaa Olivia was never going to jump! Scared ya all tho didn't I? U thought she was really loosing it! Hehe! Next Chapter Cole's funeral but what does Liv do to make it special? Read on to find out! **

**Please Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you to reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**I'm in such a good mood here's the funeral chapter, just cz I want to move on to the E/O!**

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, July 3rd 2008**

**9.12 am**

Olivia sat in her black dress and suit jacket as she held onto Melissa's hand. The house was quiet with only herself, Melly, Mrs Jeffries and Tammy waiting for the funeral car. The day was going to be tough, far more formal than Michael's funeral had been. It had taken a lot of strength for her to march into Cragen's office and refused point blank to wear her dress blues.

"_You're a cop Olivia, it's your duty!" Cragen yelled after she had told him that there was no chance she was going to Cole's funeral in her dress blues. _

"_I'm a mother and fiancé first and foremost, it's unfair on his mother, sister and daughter for me to have to be official and correct when we're all grieving!" Olivia yelled back, she would have thought Cragen would have supported her on this. _

"_Yes but what about the police chief who is going to be there when you stand up to give your speech about Cole? What do you think he's going to make of the fact you're not in uniform?" Cragen questioned. _

"_I don't give a fuck what the police chief thinks about my chosen attire, I do however give a shit about what Cole would have wanted." Olivia explained having had enough of Cragen's attitude. _

"_Fine, do what you want but don't blame me for any repercussions!" Cragen yelled as she marched out the door. _

Olivia sighed as she remembered, but she wasn't going to listen to him, she was following her own heart on the matter, not that it was important what she wore but it was the nature of her relationship with Cole that made her decision. She fumbled with the speech she had in her hand,

Mrs Jeffries had asked Olivia to speak on behalf of the immediate family and had given Olivia a short speech from her and Tammy to read too. Olivia had spent a few hours with Melly choosing something for her to say and she had to admit she was petrified, this wasn't a room full of grieving people but a room full of cops and officials who would be judging everything she said and did and she knew she had to be careful which was unfair as she just wanted to grieve for the man she loved.

"The car's here." Tammy sighed from the window.

"It's time." Mrs Jeffries said extending her hand to Olivia pulling her out of her thoughts.

****

**Blessed hearts Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 3****rd**** 2008**

**9.51 am**

As they pulled up to the church Olivia felt her hand shaking in Melissa's. Her heart pounded in her chest as she took shaky breaths trying to keep herself calm. They'd followed the hearse from the precinct, the procession had been led by marked police cars with the lights on. As they stepped out of the car they lined up with officers who marked the way to the door. The officer's saluted as the chosen officers and friends of Cole held the coffin draped with the NYPD flag on their shaking shoulders. Olivia sniffed as she tried to hold back the tears. Once the coffin had passed them, she, Melly, Mrs Jeffries and Tammy fell in behind and followed it inside. The church was packed as Officers saluted, Olivia could feel eyes follow her as she walked calmly clutching onto Melly's hand. They were seated as the flowers were bought into the room. Olivia had a wreath from Melly with 'Daddy' in blue, white and yellow and a large bouquet of red roses from herself, she being the only person who understood the relevance of the roses, the exact same style bouquet as he had bought her on their first real date. The vicar stepped to the microphone to begin the service and Olivia pulled a sobbing Melly onto her knee.

"Today we are here to give thanks to the life of Detective Cole Jeffries, please stand for a minute silence as we remember." He said. Olivia stood and held Melissa as the minute silence began. A slide show of pictures played, she smiled at them, there were many of him growing up, some of him with his mother and sister, some of her and him at the start of the relationship, pictures of him with Michael and Melly. As the minute ended the horn began to play and that's when the tears began to fall from Olivia's eyes. The sad sound of the trumpet had pulled her from her composed stature to a crumbling wreck. Elliot and Richards who had been in pew behind came to help her stand. Captain Cragen took Melissa into his arms.

"I can't ..." She whispered to Elliot.

"You can, I've got you." He whispered back as they were told to take their seats again.

Elliot nodded to Richards who went back to his seat but Elliot sat in Melissa's space and held around Olivia's shaking shoulders as she struggled to regain herself.

"We will now here from the Police Chief." The vicar said.

Everyone watched the burly man that was the police chief. Olivia slipped her hand into Elliot's needing to feel his connection as she tried to listen.

"Detective Jeffries was a dedicated officer, you only have to peek into his jacket to know this. He was loyal to his co-workers and extremely dedicated to his job, I am proud to say he was a member of the NYPD. I'd now like to ask Captain Jenkins of Manhattan's Missing Person's to come and say a few words." The Police Chief waited for Jenkins to arrive, shook his hand and then stepped to the side.

"I feel extremely privileged to have been Captain to Jeffries, he truly was a decorated officer, he took cases that people had worked on for years and managed to bring them to a close, he worked tirelessly with families and offered them support as he helped search for their loved ones, he was intense, dedicated and well liked by many officers, families, victims alike. I'd now like to ask his partner Detective Richards to come say a few words." As Richards made his way up he shook the hands of his superior officers and took to the microphone.

"There's not really much I can add to that. Detective Jeffries was a pleasure to work with, I had his back, he had mine. It's a sad day for anyone and everyone who was lucky to work with this guy, he could make you feel relaxed and calm after suffering the worst of cases. I'm really going to miss you buddy, I don't think I'll ever work with someone who meant as much to me as you did. Thank you. I believe speaking on behalf of the family is his fiancé and Daughter Detective Olivia Benson from Manhattan's Special Victim Unit and Melissa Benson." Olivia stood up shaking as Melissa rushed to take her hand. She trembled as she walked up the steps. She shook the Police Chief's hand as he mumbled words of condolences and the same with Captain Jenkins. Richards surprised everyone by wrapping her up in an embrace.

"You can do this Olivia, for Cole." He whispered.

"I know." She whispered back as he pulled away.

The vicar passed a small stool for Melissa to stand on as Olivia nervously unwrapped her speech.

"Good Morning, Today many of you are sitting here wearing dress blues out of duty and respect to an officer whose life was cruelly snatched from us at the hands of a perp. I know many of you have looked at me and wondered what am I doing in a black dress and heels when you know I'm also an NYPD officer. I'm going to explain myself, not because I think you need an explanation and not because Doctor George Huang is evaluating my every move ..." There were chuckles across the room which calmed Olivia a little. "because the rest of what I have to say will make sense if I do. Today I'm not standing here as Detective Benson, I'm stood here as Olivia, the fiancé of a wonderful man. I didn't wear my dress blues because I am not here for Detective Jeffries like so many of you here are, I'm here to say my final farewell to Cole, the man I love and the father of my children." Olivia took another shaky breath as she prepared to move on. "Three fantastic men have stood in front of you and have spoken about a decorated officer who was loyal and dedicated and they're right. Cole and I would go days without seeing each other when we were working on separate cases that required every ounce of our concentration. But Cole was more than just a Detective and that's what these men here failed to tell you. Less than two weeks ago, I was stood at this spot telling many of you about my son Michael and stood beside me is my daughter Melissa. I want to tell you about the father and the lover. He was kind, caring and generous, he was well loved by his family. He may have been dedicated to the job but he put his family first. When we lost Mikey I thought my world had come to an end but thanks to him I got through it. He loved his children, he would have killed for them and that's the man I knew. The man who would cook breakfast and sit through hours of cartoons, the man who thought Sesame Street was the best darn TV show ever made for kids. The man who got into bed and held me close after a hard day and made everything seem like it was going to be alright. That's the man I know, that's the man I love and that's the man these men failed to ever know. Myself and Cole had this little thing we did, if we had a conversation that was deep and meaningful or required action we made sure that the conversation always ended with the word 'together'. I am yet to take off my engagement ring, somehow I don't think it's right, not yet, engraved on the back is the word 'together' and I'm always going to have that. Melly told me, just after I had told her that he'd passed on that she understood he was with Mikey her brother and that they were together now and knowing that I have Melly, a part of him forever will keep us together." Olivia sniffed as she stroked Melissa's hair.

"I'd now like to continue by reading messages from his Mother and Sister." Olivia said as she pulled out another piece of paper and unfolded it.

"Cole, was the best big brother in the world. I'm sure every little sister would say the same about their brother but in this case he truly was. Growing up wasn't easy with our father in the military. Mom was always worrying about him, whether he'd return and then one day he didn't, not physically anyway. I thought my world was crumbling and falling apart around me but Cole held it together, for me and for Mom. None of us wouldn't have gotten through it without him." Olivia held her breath as she looked at the next section. She nervously glanced down at Tammy who nodded her eyes begging her to continue. Olivia nodded back to her and turned her attention back to the piece of paper, this wasn't going to be easy to read. "How many of you in this room knew that man? How many of you can honestly say you knew Cole at all? You're here out of Duty and Respect but what you don't realise is there are people stood here out of Love, when you think of Detective Jeffries we'll be thinking of Cole, the son, the lover, the father and the brother. Don't forget that." Olivia didn't look up as she moved to Mrs Jeffries speech.

"Cole wanted to join the NYPD at the age of 7 after seeing a real life chase take place in front of his eyes. He instantly started learning and taking interest in what was going on in the world of crime. When a cousin of his went missing, he wanted to help in every way he could, he hacked into her computer for information and gave all of it to the police which eventually help them find her and bring her home. That was when Cole decided he wanted to work and help bring home missing people. His life may have been short but he loved his job which eventually led to his death. If he'd have known he was going to die at a young age he would have told you this was one way he wanted to go, not only doing what he loved but ..." The tears began to fall down Olivia's face and her hand flew to her mouth. Richards stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulder. He took the speech and scanned to find where Olivia had stopped.

"... not only doing what he loved but in the arms of the person he loved most in the world. As a mother you wish very few things for your children, you want them to have everything they want, after his job there was one thing Cole wanted and that was to fall in love. He did. With Olivia. I have never seen him as happy as I did when he bought Olivia to meet me for the first time, the love that shone in both their eyes was unmistakable. He then got his next wish, he became a father to two beautiful twins and it doesn't make a difference that they weren't biologically his, he loved them with every inch of his mind and body and when Michael was taken from them he battled to make life worth living for Olivia and Melissa because they were all that mattered to him. I love my son and I always will and always have." Richards finished and placed the speech down embracing Olivia.

"Thank you." She whispered shakily as she turned back to the microphone. "Melly would like to say something to her Father." Olivia whispered and she moved out of the way and kept one hand on Melly's back as she stood shakily.

"Miss Josephine my teacher helped me make up a poem for Daddy." Melly said her voice trembling. Olivia pulled out the typed version Miss Josephine had made and she placed it in front of Melly even though Melly knew it by heart.

"Daddy, now you've gone to be an angel and it makes me very sad. But knowing you are not alone really makes me glad. I know Mommy and I will be just alright, because the love you gave to us makes us want to fight..." Melissa began trembling and crying uncontrollably. Olivia picked her up into her arms and stepped back in front of the microphone to finish the poem even though she was crying too.

"Daddy, do you remember the day you rescued me and changed my world around? You and Mommy both showed love without even making a sound." Olivia wiped her tears as she regained herself to finish the poem. "You gave us a home when everything looked bad, but because of you and Mommy nothing ever made us sad. Now you've gone to heaven I can thank you no more, but I'll always know you loved me like you said it at my door. The way you tucked me in at night and kissed my little head really made me smile as the words goodnight I said. Now you're gone I miss you, more and more each day, but me and Mommy ..." Olivia stopped and took a deep breath as she struggled to finish. "but me and Mommy will go on, and we love you we will say. As me and Mommy say goodbye we'll remember the love you gave, I miss you we'll cry as we stand by your grave." Olivia trembled as she finished and Richards took Melissa from her as Elliot rushed to her side.

"Oh my God." She whispered as he helped her walk back to her seat.

She wished she had read the poem before allowing Melissa to read it as that was more heartfelt than what she had expected from a four year old and she understood that Miss Josephine had written most of it just taking Melly's words.

The men stepped down as Whitney Huston's I will always love you echoed across the church, the song that family had chosen together as it was more relevant to all of them. As Olivia arrived at her seat Mrs Jeffries pulled her into an embrace and Tammy took Melly before the four of them held each other as the song continued to play.

"Thank you Olivia." Mrs Jeffries whispered. 

****

**Blessed hearts Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 3****rd**** 2008**

**12.42 pm**

As the crowd around the grave began to separate Olivia, Mrs Jeffries, Tammy and Melly stayed for a little while longer. They didn't know that they were being watched by Elliot, Cragen, Huang, Munch and Fin.

"How do you think she's coping Doc?" Elliot asked sadly.

"She's ok, from her behaviour and things today she's just grieving. I don't think we need to worry about much." Huang shrugged.

"I'm just dreading a phone call about her little stunt about her attire and attitude in her speech, God she could have not attacked the NYPD." Cragen sighed.

"Come on you can't call that an attack on the NYPD, she just said she knew Cole where everyone else knew Detective Jeffries, she was completely right." Elliot shrugged.

"Yes but you know how a cop's funeral goes, this isn't the first we've attended and I'm damn sure it won't be the last." Cragen explained.

"Yes well if me or Liv ... God forbid... but if anything ever happens to me or Liv we both know what each other want." Elliot replied.

"What do you mean?" Cragen asked turning from the scene of sobbing women to look at his detective.

"Olivia doesn't want this, I can tell you that much. She wants a small funeral with only detectives she worked with at her funeral, it's kinda what I'd like too. I want a catholic funeral not a show." Elliot replied bitterly.

"I understand with you but I don't with Olivia." He replied. "I mean all she's ever known is being a cop."

"She only wants people who care about her at her funeral because it's her way of seeing that someone actually cared about her." Huang replied.

"That makes no sense considering she'd be dead not attending her own funeral." Cragen snapped.

"That's not the point, it makes no difference that she would be dead as that's not the way she's looked at it. It's difficult to understand why people make requests about their funeral as they will be dead when it happens but people have some specific way they'd like for people to say goodbye to them, it's completely natural." Huang explained.

"Right shut up about it now." Elliot snapped as he saw Olivia and Melly approaching them.

"Are you not coming to the hotel?" She asked the group.

"We are, we just wanted to make sure you're ok." Cragen explained why the four men had been stood there watching.

"I'm fine, but El can we catch a lift with you. I've really had enough of stuffy funeral cars." She explained.

"Mel's car seat is in Cragen's car, might be easier to go with him?" Elliot sighed, he wished it wasn't and that he could say yes.

"What ever works, I just don't want to be in the funeral car." Olivia explained, her voice sounding back to normal now.

"Ok come on our cars all parked across the street." Cragen smiled softly.

"We're going to go with Grandpa Don ok baby?" Olivia smiled to Melissa, she preferred explaining to Melissa what was happening and not just expect her to follow, it was something she'd read about in a parenting book.

****

**The Ritz, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 2st 2008**

**1.34 am**

As they walked into the hotel the large photo of Cole that had been stood in the precinct was staring at them. She froze as she looked at it, her tears building at seeing the professional work picture.

"Liv?" Elliot asked stroking her arm.

"I'm fine." She replied snapping herself out of it.

"What was it? Where did you go?" Elliot asked her as they headed for the room the wake was being held.

"It's just ... it's nothing." Olivia shrugged.

"Tell me Liv, I might be able to help." Elliot sighed.

"Just seeing that picture it's totally against everything I want and I know he wanted. This had one police plaza written all over it and the scrum of press that followed us hasn't helped. I'm just glad there's security out front. They want to show how an officer deserves to be sent off but Cole never wanted this show and tell, we talked about it but I had no control, the NYPD just took over." Olivia sighed.

"Melly go with Grandpa whilst Mommy and I talk ok?" Elliot smiled.

Melissa rushed off to her grandfather as Olivia watched until she saw Cragen nod that he had her.

"Cragen's annoyed." He whispered as he and Olivia sat on the large steps that lead to the rooms upstairs.

"Why?" Olivia asked slipping off her painful heels.

"He thinks you went on some tirade against the NYPD." Elliot laughed.

"Oh my god." Olivia laughed softly. "I didn't, I just explained that I knew Cole not Jeffries and half the people in that room hadn't even met him El and it really pissed me off. I wanted to say goodbye to the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I knew the looks I was getting for not wearing my dress blues and behaving like a cop but I don't give a shit." Olivia replied.

"Is that right?" A voice boomed from behind Elliot and Olivia making them both jump to their feet and stand as straight as planks.

"Chief I ..." Olivia began.

"Save it Benson." He replied.

"But Sir I..." Olivia began.

"Today, this is not the time or place, I will be in Captain Cragen's office nine am tomorrow morning and I will expect you to be there do I make myself clear?" The police chief leaned in to her.

"Yes sir." She whispered.

"Good, now I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good afternoon." He said before walking off.

"Shit!" Olivia spat angrily.

"Oh come on Liv what's the worse he can do?" Elliot asked.

"Oh I don't know sack me?" She hissed angrily.

"He won't sack you, just make sure you have a lawyer on speed dial tomorrow and you'll be fine." Elliot replied.

"Oh so you think I need a lawyer Elliot?"

"No..." He began

"I'm getting the sack because of what I said and how I behaved at my fiancé's funeral, God that's going to be great!" She laughed viciously.

"They're not going to sack you Olivia, you might get suspended or even just a talking too, they can't sack you."

"Yes they can, Cragen thinks I went on a tirade against the NYPD Elliot, that's massive! They're going to sack me and I should accept that." She spat.

"Whose going to be sacking you?" Ed Tucker asked as he approached the stairs.

"Tucker now isn't ..."

"No Benson, please tell me who wants to sack you?"

"What other than you, you mean?" Olivia spat angrily.

"No I don't want to sack you, Stabler and you are the best detectives in the NYPD now answer my question."

"The Police Chief, he overheard me talking with Stabler and on top of everything I said in the funeral, come on Tucker admit it I'm screwed." Olivia sighed slumping down to sit on the steps.

Tucker knelt down in front of her, she could see a softness in him she had never seen before.

"Olivia, what did he say to you?" Tucker asked gently.

"He'll speak to me tomorrow in Cragen's office at nine am." Olivia sighed.

"Then we will, don't worry, you won't lose your job as long as you trust me." He smiled gently.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and sighed before nodding.

"Good now, go and show your face in there and stop hiding away, there are real friends of Jeffries who want to say hi to you." Tucker extended his hand and helped Olivia to her feet.

She smiled at him before shoving her feet into her shoes.

"Coming El?" She asked softly.

****

**Wwww what trouble is Olivia in? What will Ed Tucker say to protect her job? Well read on and find out.**

**Please Review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you to Everyone for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**E/O starts properly now!**

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 4th 2008**

**7.08 am**

"El what are you doing here so early?" Olivia asked as she opened the front door.

"My car won't start, so I was wondering if I could get a lift in with you." He shrugged.

"You're a shit liar because the precinct it closer to your house then my house is." Olivia laughed as she walked into the kitchen.

"Uncle Elliot!" Melissa squealed diving from the table and into Elliot's arms.

"Hey chipmunk!" He laughed tickling her belly and making her squeal.

"Melly, eat your breakfast please." Olivia said sternly and Elliot put Melissa down so she could go back to the table.

"Coffee?" Olivia asked as she had just boiled the kettle.

"Please." Elliot smiled as he leaned into the counter.

"There's some waffles if you want too." Olivia smiled nodding to the pile of waffles on the table.

"I won't say no to food." He grinned.

"I knew you wouldn't." She laughed passing him the coffee as they made their way to the kitchen table.

"So come on, why did you come over at seven am?" Olivia asked as she cut up her waffles.

"Oh you know, just to make sure you were ok." He blushed and looked down at his plate.

"That's sweet El but what exactly did you expect to find when you go here?" Olivia asked worrying that they all still thought she was suicidal.

"Exactly what I did find but I've been staying with you all week and waking up and not ... Doesn't matter." Elliot exclaimed before turning back to his own breakfast.

"What not having my amazing Coffee and waffles?" She asked jokingly.

"Kinda, but more not having conversations with you and Melly over breakfast, I missed it this morning that's all." He shrugged.

"That's sweet El. Anyway I'm glad you're here. I need to start looking for somewhere else to live." Olivia sighed.

"What you're moving?" Elliot asked.

"This house is too big for just me and Melly and I only own half of it and Cole paid for it all so it doesn't feel like I own any of it. We're meeting the lawyer this afternoon for the reading of his will which he probably like many people hasn't changed since he joined the force. So if he's left half this place to his Mom she's going to want me out of it soon to sell it, for me, the sooner the better." Olivia explained.

"Ok well how much are down scaling by? I mean you're used to a house now and you have furniture in every room."

"I don't want to live in an apartment again but a smaller house would be nice. As I own half this place I get half whatever it sells for which is a nice amount which can by a decent size place." Olivia shrugged.

"Ok well I'll help as much as I can." Elliot smiled.

"Until I do move out though, you're welcome to move into one of the spare rooms. I mean that house must be costing you a fortune in rent and this place is too big and empty." Olivia smiled.

Elliot's heart was hammering inside his chest.

"I can't do that." He mumbled.

"Why not? I mean if you don't want to then its fine but the kids can come stay when you have them too, it's big enough and I'm finding it tough without Cole or Michael, it just feels empty and I need the noise and distraction." Olivia explained.

"Ok, I'd like to move in." Elliot smiled, his heart still beating particularly hard.

"Good, then that's settled. By the way why didn't you use your key to come in this morning?" Olivia asked intrigued as he'd been using it all week.

"It felt like intruding." Elliot sighed. "I never used my key at your old apartment unless I needed to."

"Ok, well you can use that to come and go as you please. Right Smelly Melly it's time to get changed!" Olivia smiled and laughed at her daughter.

"Why don't you go get ready and I'll get Melly ready?" Elliot suggested.

"You sure?" Olivia asked.

"Yup, take your time get showered and dressed and then we can take her to school." Elliot smiled.

"Oh you are a star." Olivia beamed and she planted a kiss on his cheek before walking off.

Elliot stood stunned for a moment as he watched her walk away.

"Uncle El come on!" Melly said pulling at his hand.

"I'm coming." He smiled his other hand brushing the cheek where Olivia had just kissed him.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 4th 2008**

**8.55 am**

Olivia was sat at her desk playing with a pen nervously, she heard the heavy boots behind her which drew everyone's attention to the entrance of the bull pen. She turned and gasped, it wasn't just the chief but the commissioner too. She glanced nervously at Elliot. As he approached her she stood up, dropping the pen she was holding onto the paper work waiting to be completed on her desk.

"Detective Benson." The Police Chief stated as he stood in front of her.

"Yes sir?" Olivia asked trying to look calm as she stared into his eyes.

"Would you join us in Captain Cragen's office please?" He asked, even though it wasn't a request but a demand.

"Yes sir." Olivia mumbled.

"Wait!" Ed Tucker's voice came from the entrance of the bullpen.

"Lieutenant to what do we owe the pleasure?" The chief smirked turning to look at Tucker.

"I'm here on Benson's behalf sir." He stated confidently.

"Right, well, we better go and discuss this in privet." The chief replied and Olivia glanced nervously at Elliot before following the three men to Cragen's office knowing that every eye in the room was following her.

Once the door was shut she tried to calm herself, clasping her hands in front of her to hide how much she was trembling.

"Detective Benson we are here to discuss your conduct at Detective Jeffries funeral. I would like to ask you first what you have to say for yourself?" The Commissioner asked and Olivia pursed her lips as she tried to find where to begin.

"Sir I ..." Olivia began her voice showing how much she was trembling.

"Sir if I may?" Tucker asked softly resting his hand on Olivia's trembling arm.

"Lieutenant?" He asked allowing him to speak.

"I think what Detective Benson said yesterday was the reaction of a grieving widow and mother. I'm sure you know that she recently buried her adopted son and yesterday she had to bury the man she was going to marry." Tucker spoke calm and clear.

"That's understandable." Cragen chipped in, his eyes watching Olivia very carefully.

"Yes it is understandable but it doesn't make it ok." The chief sighed. "I just want to hear what Benson has to say for herself."

"Sir, I apologise for what I said. I was bitter and angry and still am, I lost Cole unexpectedly and I never meant to go on any tirade against the NYPD, I had a few comments made against my decision to not wear my dress blues and that really hurt me but I was only doing what Cole would have wanted, he wouldn't have wanted me to have to behave like an official and I know this because our deaths is something we discussed together during out relationship as NYPD Detective's our lives are often on the line and we both needed to discuss our deaths as much as we discussed our future." Olivia explained.

"Do you respect the NYPD?" The Commissioner asked.

"Of course I do!" She gasped. "I stand behind the NYPD every step of the way, I just needed people to know that I wasn't there for the NYPD yesterday, I was there for my daughter's father the man I was going to marry." Olivia sighed. "I know that many people would have preferred me to stand there and tell you what an honour it was to work beside him and how much of a great detective he was but you did that Chief, as did Captain Jenkins and Detective Richards, I just wanted people to know there was a man behind the Detective." Olivia explained.

"That's understandable don't you agree gentlemen?" Tucker asked his hand still on Olivia's arm.

"I believe everything is in order here Sir." The Chief replied turning to the commissioner.

"I agree, just be aware of what you say next time Detective Benson, you don't want people to think you're against what you work for. That wouldn't be good for anyone and next time we will come down hard on you. May I also say my condolences, I'm sure it's difficult losing your child and your fiancé in such a short space of time." The commissioner shook her hand.

"Thank you sir." She whispered trying to hide the tears that were surfacing one again.

The two men left as Olivia, Tucker and Cragen stood unmoving.

"Now that's sorted." Tucker smiled.

"Thank you Tucker, really thank you." She smiled, knowing that she would have crumbled had he not supported her.

"You're welcome Olivia and please call me Ed." He smiled.

Tucker went to shake Cragen's hand and then nodded at Olivia before leaving.

"You count yourself extremely lucky Olivia, they could have taken your shield for what you did." Cragen stated.

"I know." Olivia replied softly. "I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did Cap you should know that." Olivia explained.

"I know, now see Huang so I can give you back your gun. He's waiting for you upstairs." Cragen smiled. 

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 4th 2008**

**9.41 am**

Olivia sat down on the couch opposite Huang. She knew there wasn't a reason why he wouldn't let her have her gun back so she just wanted to get all of this over with.

"How are you feeling today Olivia?" Huang asked getting straight in.

"Better. It gets easier every day." Olivia smiled.

"I'm sure it does, now after the funeral what did you do when you got home?" He asked her.

"Bathed and changed Melly and put her to bed then I had a relaxing bath and went to bed myself." Olivia shrugged.

"Ok where did you sleep?" Huang asked.

"My bed, mine and Cole's." She replied honestly.

"Did you fall asleep straight away or have some time to think?" Huang continued.

"It took me about ten minutes to fall asleep. I cuddled into Cole's pillow and thought about what I was going to do for Melly's birthday." Olivia replied.

"That's good. This morning what did you do?" Huang asked softly.

"I got up made breakfast, Elliot came around and had breakfast with us, he got Melly ready whilst I got ready and then we took her to school and came here."

"Over breakfast what did you talk about?" Huang asked and he saw Olivia's eyes narrow and he became intrigued.

"I told Elliot that I needed to find somewhere else to live." Olivia explained.

"Why do you want to move?" Huang asked.

"The house is too big for just me and Mel, Elliot's coming to stay with me till I find somewhere new but I only own half the house and we're reading the will this afternoon at his mother's house, I'm sure she'll want to sell it anyway." Olivia explained.

"Why is Elliot coming to stay?" Huang asked.

"He can't afford the house he's renting, he only has it because he needs somewhere for the kids and I am so used to having Cole around that I need some company that's not Melly and El stayed with me all last week and he came for breakfast because he missed the communication we had over the breakfast table when he stayed. It just makes sense for him to get rid of his house and come stay at mine." Olivia shrugged.

"What did Elliot say?"

"That he'd love too." Olivia replied. "I have plenty of space for him to have his own room and the kids, I've started cleaning out Michael's room and once that's done there will be more than enough space for Elliot's kids too."

"How have you been feeling sorting through Michael's things?" Huang asked gently.

"Easier than I thought it would be, I mean they're just material possessions. I donated his clothing to charity and most of his toys and everything sentimental I have or Melly has, it hasn't really been that tough." Olivia shrugged.

"Ok Olivia, I'll go tell Cragen to give you back your gun." Huang smiled.

****

**Jeffries household, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 4th 2008**

**2.30 pm**

Everyone was sat around the table in the library of Mrs Jeffries brownstone. Olivia relaxed back into her chair with her coffee as the lawyer pulled out the last will and testament of Cole Andrew Jeffries.

He passed a copy to Olivia and then on each to Tammy and Mrs Jeffries. Her hands shook a little as she turned the first page over to look at it.

"This seems to be in order." Mrs Jeffries smiled as she placed her copy on the table.

Olivia couldn't speak. She was frozen her eyes fixed on the paper as she re-read it.

"So Ma'am you won't be filling any claims?" The Lawyer asked, he'd worked for the Jeffries family for years.

"Absolutely not, I knew the contents as he had discussed it with me when he told me and I am happy with what he decided. Olivia dear please say something?" Mrs Jeffries asked turning her attention to the woman she'd been referring to as her daughter –in-law.

"I Uh I didn't know he'd changed it." Olivia mumbled.

"So you didn't know that everything was going to you?" Mrs Jeffries asked a little bit shell shocked.

"No, he never told me. I changed mine too of course we have to keep them updated with this job but I didn't change mine till Melly and Mikey, not actually sign it properly anyway. I had no idea." Her voice was a whisper.

"Well I'm glad he did because this means you and Melly will be comfortable for the rest of your lives no matter what." Mrs Jeffries smiled softly.

"Ok." Olivia mumbled, she was still in utter shock.

"My dear close your mouth you look like a babbling fish." Mrs Jeffries smiled as Olivia's jaw clenched shut.

"Ms Benson, I will need you to sign a few forms have them too me by the end of the week, if there's anything you need don't hesitate to call me." Adam Taylor the lawyer smiled as he handed her a jacket full of papers and his business card.

"Of course Mr Taylor." Olivia smiled back, but her smile was forced and unreal.

"Olivia dear what's wrong?" Mrs Jeffries asked, she'd always been good at reading people.

"Mrs Jeffries ..."

"I've told you before to call me Mom... or Anne if Mom makes you uncomfortable." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"Ok Mom, I'm just shocked and hurting, seeing everything Cole was down as material things. I didn't think it would hit me like this." Olivia shrugged.

"Olivia dear." Mrs Jeffries took Olivia's hand across the table. "I remember when Cole's father died, seeing the will always does hurt, it's a part of the grieving though. In days to come you'll relax a little because now you don't have to worry about paying Melly's schooling or your home and Melly's trust fund is secure too. I know at the moment this doesn't mean anything to you, but it will dear, it really will." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"Thank you." Olivia whispered. "Thank you Mom." She smiled.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 4th 2008**

**3.45 pm**

"Mommy!" Melly cried happily as Olivia entered the bullpen.

"Melly!" She beamed hugging her daughter. "Melly go annoy Grandpa as I go talk to Elliot ok sweetie?" Olivia smiled.

"Ok." Melly shrugged rushing off to the captain's office.

"Are you ok Olivia? You look like you're about to cry." Elliot whispered.

"Not here." Olivia replied softly nodding her head towards the stairs.

Elliot followed her up to the lounge and watched as she sat on the couch. She pulled a small folder out of her large purse and passed it to him. He opened it and saw the document, the will.

"Are you sure you want me to?"

"Just read it Elliot because I can barely speak." Olivia hissed. Her head was pounding and she was feeling confused and dazed.

"Wow Olivia." Elliot gasped after he looked. "He's given you everything?"

"Yes. His Mother knew, she said that it was correct and then she told me she knew exactly what the will said." Olivia explained as Elliot sat down beside her.

"She's not fighting it then?" Elliot asked.

"Nope." Olivia replied. "Everything's mine, the house, the apartment, the cars, everything."

"Wow. You could retire and live happily ever after with all of this." Elliot exclaimed as he passed her the file back.

"I don't want it though." Olivia whispered.

"Now you can't say that and shut up, come on what's up?" Elliot asked making himself comfortable on the couch.

"All this, it's immaterial to what he meant to me. Six cars and a motorbike? What on earth do I want with them? I knew what he had after a few weeks into our relationship and I never let him splash the cash, only when he bought the house but that was for Melissa and Michael and I would have paid half if he'd have let me. I don't want all this money, I hate money I always have done. Anything extra I have always had I've blown it so it doesn't sit in my account doing nothing. I wasn't with him for this El." Olivia explained tears trekking down her cheeks.

"Oh honey, no one thought you were with him for the money, if they did they'd be blind, even his mother agreed with the will, she isn't contesting it so you should just relax, Melly's trust fund is safe and will keep growing, you'll be able to pay off her college fee's and everything now. You don't have to move out of the house either because you own it outright." Elliot sighed.

"I don't want this El, I never did, I'm ... uh I sound so ungrateful." Olivia sighed and she leant in and rested her head on his shoulder.

"No you don't your grieving." Elliot sighed gently rubbing her shoulder.

"At least I don't have to move Melly to a different school, I was beginning to wonder how I'd be able to afford sending her to that place." Olivia scoffed. "He's still looking after me even though he's gone isn't he?" Olivia asked her eyes closed.

"He is Olivia, he wanted to make sure you'd be alright if anything ever happened to him. And you will be." Elliot smiled gently as she rubbed her head against his shoulders.

"I will be." She smiled. "But I still want to move."

"What? Why?" Elliot asked jumping in shock as she turned to look at him.

"That house, it's ... I don't know it was ours, mine and Cole's and he's gone, I'm never going to feel like it's just mine. I want to find somewhere else and make a new home for me and Melly." She explained. "I want you to come too though, I mean you can't afford that place you've got and what's the harm in you and I house sharing, we're best friends." Olivia smiled.

"Absolutely Olivia, it would be just like college!" Elliot laughed.

"Without the wild sex and booze!" Olivia teased.

"Good point but it doesn't matter, if you want to by a smaller place I can just stay with you when I don't have the kids." Elliot added.

"El! No! I love your kids as much as I love Melly and it would be good for the two of us to have more than each other for company." Olivia explained.

"Ok well you find a place you want to live at then." Elliot replied softly.

She stared at him as he looked straight back into her eyes. There was something there, something more than just a look but she couldn't read what he was telling her. She was grieving and nothing could shine through to her at the moment.

"You don't get it. I want you to help me find the perfect house for us, for you, me, your kids and Melly somewhere nice and big enough for all of us." Olivia explained.

"But it will be your house Olivia." Elliot explained.

"No Honey, it will be our house." She smiled gently.

"Honey?" He scoffed.

"Ye honey? I don't know where that came from but I was just joking." Olivia jumped to her feet and tucked a lose piece of hair behind her ear.

"I like it ... honey." He laughed as she slapped him across the shoulder.

She smiled at him as he grinned cheekily at her, it wasn't forced but a real, genuine, heart warming smile that turned his grin into a warm smile in return. They stared at each other and smiled until Cragen's voice echoed across the bull pen downstairs.

"Where are Benson and Stabler?"

"Here!" Olivia yelled as the two of them ran down the stairs."

"You've got a case." Cragen sighed passing them a pink slip.

"Let's go." Olivia smiled as she picked up her car keys.

****

**Elliot and Olivia living with each other just as best friends? Really? How long will that last?**

**Please Review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you to ALL For reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Maerae93 – honestly you're giving me a reason to live ;) jk, but you are giving me a reason not to give up on this story! **

**ON WITH THE SHOW! Dun Dun!**

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 4th 2008**

**7.39 pm**

"So Uncle El is coming to live here?" Melly asked trying to understand what her mother had just told her.

"For a little while but we're going to go and find a new house." Olivia explained, it wasn't easy telling a four year old that they'd be moving house.

"Why?" Melly asked.

Olivia smiled as Melly sipped at her juice box.

"Because Melly Mommy thinks we need a change, this was Mommy and Daddy's home with you and Mikey and I want to make a new home with you and me and Uncle Elliot." Olivia explained.

"Will I be able to bring all my things?" Melly asked and Olivia remembered Melly had left everything behind at her old home when her parents were murdered, she and Cole had decided it was for the best that they left everything behind.

"All your things will come with us to the new house, yes baby." Olivia smiled and looked at Elliot who had just been sat listening.

"Ok, will Mo, Katie, Lizzie and Dickie come stay too?" Melly asked looking at Elliot.

"Yup, for two weeks at a time then they have to go back to their mommy then back here. It's confusing Chipmunk." Elliot smiled.

"Ok so when are we moving into the new house?" Melly asked turning back to Olivia.

"Well Mommy and Uncle Elliot need to find a new house first baby. Somewhere close to Mommy's work and your school so we don't have to travel too much would be nice but it has to be big enough for everyone." Olivia explained. "Now have you finished your juice?"

"Yup!"

"Go brush your teeth and Mommy will come read you a bed time story then." Olivia smiled.

"I don't want a story tonight Mommy, I'm too tired." Melly yawned.

"Ok baby, go brush your teeth then I'll come tuck you in." Olivia smiled as Melly reached up for a kiss.

Elliot collected the dishes and started running the water in the sink.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"The dishes, what does it look like I'm doing?" Elliot asked a perplexed look all over his face.

"There's a dishwasher El." Olivia laughed.

"Oh yeah." He laughed nervously.

"Now why don't you tell me why you call Melly chipmunk, you've barely called her anything else." Olivia smiled having been fascinated with the nickname.

"Oh she did something in the precinct, I can't remember what it was and Munch said it reminded him of a chipmunk and then she asked what a chipmunk was and Munch spent ages explaining what it was and I just said she was a chipmunk." Elliot shrugged.

"Right, why don't you make us some hot chocolate and switch on a DVD whilst I go and snuggle the chipmunk up in bed then we can get out the computer and see what's on offer in Manhattan's housing market?" Olivia smiled as she went to the kitchen door.

"Will do." Elliot smiled and he watched her walk away, the happiest he'd seen her in weeks.

Once Olivia was back downstairs she loaded up the laptop and they began searching for houses.

"This one sounds good." Olivia said pointing at a house on the screen.

She was sitting so her back was on Elliot's shoulder and the laptop on her thighs which were along the rest of the large couch.

"Yeah looks good Liv." Elliot replied as he stroked her hair, it was so soft he couldn't resist and she hadn't moved to stop him.

"Eight bedroom, nine bathroom villa with spacious living room, large kitchen, study/library and dining room on the outskirts of Manhattan." Olivia read the information on the screen. "Patio and three car garage space with outdoor parking and spacious front and back yard."

"Sounds Uh Big." Elliot shrugged,

"Don't you like it?" Olivia asked as she rubbed her head into his shoulder enjoying the way he was playing with her hair.

"I do, it's just strange, a villa?" He laughed.

"I just want somewhere nice for all of us El, I'm glad you're moving in with me though, I couldn't bare to live alone again ..." Olivia's voice drifted.

"I think the house is beautiful honey but don't just settle because it's available, keep looking and you might find something you like more." Elliot smiled softly.

"You're right but I'll put that on reminder and it can be one of the houses we go visit ok?" She smiled.

"Absolutely." He replied as she saved the page and began searching again.

"Maybe we should leave Manhattan, just be close enough to get into work. There's really not much on offer in Manhattan except for apartments." Olivia sighed as she went through the property list.

"I always liked living in Queens." Elliot replied. "It was nice to get out of the city for a while, as long as we can get to and from work without a problem it should be fine."

"There's this house in Long Island, well another villa, or as it says here, a classic New York Mansion." Olivia laughed. "How do you fancy living in a mansion El?" She giggled.

"Whatever you want baby." He smiled.

"Baby?" She giggled.

"Sorry." He replied softly.

"No its ok, just weird." She laughed. "Ok so 10 bedrooms, 54 acres, it has staff quarters, ok maybe that's a bit too big for what we're after." Olivia sighed as she went back to the beginning.

"Yeah unless you're planning to hire a maid and butler." Elliot sniggered.

"No I'm not planning on hiring anyone but maybe a nanny to give me a hand with Melly rather than her having to go to afterschool club, you know those live in nanny's, Mom uh Mrs Jeffries told me to get one ages ago but I didn't want to but now I'm a single parent it couldn't hurt, and if I get a good one she can help with your lot when they're with us." Olivia smiled.

"Sounds good, you do what you want Liv. I don't think my kids will care if they have a nanny and would be comfortable to know there's someone we trust with the kids at night if we get called on a case." Elliot replied.

"Exactly and do you know what? I don't want to move from this house. I'm going to have the attic converted to another two bedrooms and then the place will have four floors and be more than big enough, let's just redecorate." Olivia smiled closing the webpage she was on.

"Sounds good to me Olivia." Elliot grinned.

"Ok well let's find us a nanny, we can run thorough back ground checks on everyone we interview." Olivia smiled as she found an online place to advertise for Nanny's.

"Yup we can." He beamed back at her.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 5th 2008**

**8.55 am**

Olivia pulled up into her parking space and she and Elliot exited the car. He waited for her as she went into the back seat to grab her purse.

"Good morning Elliot, Olivia, was I right in seeing you arrived together?" Cragen asked his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah Cap' uh, I'm kind of staying with Olivia." Elliot sighed, they had planned to go and see Cragen together to explain their new living arrangements.

"Oh right." Cragen sighed. "Well I'll see you up in the bullpen."

Olivia and Elliot watched as he walked off.

"I'm guessing he's not going to appreciate how much we both need to do this?" Olivia sighed as she slammed shut the back door.

"Oh well ignore him Olivia. He's an ass about some things." Elliot shrugged and he put his arm around Olivia's shoulder as they began to walk, both of them relaxed and not caring about anything.

When Olivia and Elliot arrived the bullpen he went to make them coffee and Olivia logged into her email.

"Wow El?" She gasped calling him over.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Looks like lots of people are interested in being a Nanny for us." Olivia sighed scrolling down through the email.

"Ok well print everything off, we don't have a case so we can split them up and run background checks then email them all and set up interviews for tomorrow whilst we're both of and the kids are coming over in the morning." Elliot suggested.

"Sounds good to me!" Olivia smiled as he bought her over a coffee.

They didn't get a case all day and so both of them worked on doing background checks into the early evening. Once Olivia sent a message to all of the applicants she was happy to interview with their time for the following day she was ready to go home.

"Cap we're off." Elliot smiled poking his head around the office door.

"I'm guessing by we're you mean you and Olivia?" Cragen asked.

"Yes." Elliot shrugged.

"Just take care of her and not take advantage of her Elliot, she's fragile at the moment and is grieving." Cragen explained.

"Captain I'm just taking care of her because she asked me too, she's doing me a huge favour and helping me with the kids and stuff. I couldn't ask more from her than what she has done and I'm just returning the favour. Nothing more and nothing less." Elliot replied feeling a twinge of hurt at what his Captain had just said.

"Fine, I'll see you Monday if nothing big breaks." Cragen sighed and he watched as Elliot rushed out the door and he hoped that this was nothing more than friends being dependant on one and other.

****

**Benson household, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 6th 2008**

**9.45 am**

Olivia, Elliot and Mrs Jeffries were sat on one couch in the living room waiting for the first applicant when there was a knock at the door. Olivia went to answer it nervously, still wondering if it was a good idea to get a nanny for Melly.

"Hi Ms Benson?" The young girl asked.

"Yes you must be Maya Moore." Olivia smiled shaking the girl's hand.

"I am, lovely to meet you Ms Benson." She smiled as Olivia opened the door wider for her to come in.

"We're just in the living room, this way." Olivia smiled and she showed Maya to the living room.

Elliot and Mrs Jeffries were both standing when Olivia and the girl came in.

"This is Mrs Jeffries Melly's grandmother and this is Elliot's Stabler he lives here too and his kids will be here for two weeks a month." Olivia explained as the young woman shook both their hands.

"Please take a seat." Olivia smiled and signalled to the other couch as she returned to her seat beside Mrs Jeffries who Olivia had decided to allow question the girls.

"So how many families have you worked for in the past?" Mrs Jeffries asked getting straight to the point.

"Just the one but one of the young boys had severe disabilities that I wasn't equipped or qualified to deal with." Maya explained softly and she killed two birds with one stone by telling them why she left.

"Good I'm sure they will be good referees. So what makes you want to work for my daughter in law?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Well I read on the advertisement that for two weeks in a month there were a total of five children and for two weeks a month it would just be the one child which means the job would never be boring, plus both parents are Manhattan Detectives so I am confident that I can trust them too. It's hard to find good employers these days Mrs Jeffries." Maya replied.

"Yes it is. Ok so what qualifications do you have?"

"Mom, all that's in the CV there's no need to ask how about we go get Melly see how she reacts to her?" Olivia suggested knowing they had another interview in less than ten minutes.

"Yes very well." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

Olivia went to the bottom of the stairs and called.

"Melissa Jasmine Benson could you come down here please!" Olivia called and she heard the running footsteps of her daughter. "Slowly on the stairs Melly, I don't want a trip to the ER today." Olivia laughed as Melly slowly climbed down the stairs before taking her hand.

"Melly baby, this is Maya and she would like to be your nanny." Olivia explained.

Maya gently extended her hand to Melly who took it nervously.

"Hello Miss Melissa it's very nice to meet you." Maya smiled looking into the girls eyes.

"Do you like dolly's Maya?" Melissa asked knowing she would have a say in who her nanny would be too.

"I like dolly's very much, I even have some maybe you can see some day." Maya replied.

"Miss Moore how do you discipline difficult children?" Mrs Jeffries asked which made Olivia and Elliot look straight at Maya.

"I often use time outs or confiscation of items as a form of punishment for difficult or ill mannered children." Maya replied.

"So you've never beaten a child?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Absolutely not, I would never lay a finger on a child." Maya replied gobsmacked that it had even been insinuated.

"Well that should be everything then Maya if you'd like to see yourself out." Mrs Jeffries replied.

"I'll take her to the door Mom." Olivia replied jumping to her feet.

"Well it was lovely to meet you Mrs Jeffries and Mr Stabler have a good day." Maya smiled before following Olivia to the door.

"Lovely to meet you Maya, we'll be in touch." Olivia smiled.

"And you, and Melissa is truly beautiful." Maya smiled shaking Olivia's hand again before leaving.

The next applicant arrived as soon as Maya left.

"Hi Ms Benson?" The girl asked flicking her long red hair over her shoulder as she extended her hand.

"Yes you are?" Olivia asked having not checked the name of the second person.

"Daniela Garcia." She smiled.

"Right this way Miss Garcia." Olivia smiled back and she showed her to the living room.

****

**Benson household, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 6th 2008**

**4.30 pm**

"That was everyone." Olivia smiled going back into the front room after showing the last applicant through the door.

"It's been a long day." Elliot sighed.

"Yes well now you need to choose which one of these you like the most and get them here as soon as they can be." Mrs Jeffries explained.

"Well we separated them into yes and no piles as we went along so bin all the no ones." Olivia sighed leaning down in front of Elliot and Mrs Jeffries with the coffee table between them.

"The one I can't get out my head is ... this one." Elliot explained pulling out a CV.

"She's the one I really liked too." Olivia smiled when she saw the picture attached.

"Yes she was quite the character, I wonder how Spanish she is though, with that red hair and those hazel eyes, she looked very unique but I did like what she had to say." Mrs Jeffries chipped in.

"Melly what do you think, did you like Daniela?" Olivia asked showing the picture to her daughter.

"Yes Mommy, she's pretty and funny." Melly smiled looking at her mother.

"I guess we got ourselves a nanny." Olivia smiled as the door bell rang.

"That will be the troops." Elliot smiled getting to his feet.

"I should head off." Mrs Jeffries exclaimed getting to her feet.

"Nonsense Mom, you're staying for dinner and then I will drive you home." Olivia stated.

Mrs Jeffries just smiled, she was glad she still had Olivia in her life, she'd worried that she'd have pushed her away after Cole's death but it seemed to have bought them closer together.

"I'll stay for dinner, how about I help you prepare it would be nice to cook instead of having one of the staff at my place do it for me." Mrs Jeffries smiled. "And I'm looking forward to getting to know the Stabler children too!" Mrs Jeffries laughed as she'd heard from Elliot and Olivia what type of characters they are.

"Liv!" Lizzie beamed wrapping her arms around Olivia.

"Hey Lizzie." Olivia smiled kissing the eleven year old on the head.

"I can't believe we're staying here!" Lizzie beamed.

"Ahh nor me Lizzie, it's gonna be good though ye?" Olivia smiled as the rest of the Stabler kids filed in and gave her a hug.

"Liv, Mom is yelling at Dad outside." Maureen shrugged as she walked into the room.

"Oh dear God." Olivia sighed.

"Mom do you..."

"Go." Mrs Jeffries smiled knowing what Olivia was going to ask.

"Why don't you kids drop your thing in here till Olivia can show you to your rooms and then wash your hands so we can start making dinner?" Mrs Jeffries asked to grins of delight from the kids.

Olivia rushed out the door to see Kathy yelling at Elliot.

"Elliot, please not on the doorstep." Olivia whispered into his ears.

"I'm sorry Liv." He whispered turning his back on Kathy and heading back to the house.

"You can stay with your cheap whore!" Kathy yelled making Olivia stop and look at her, the anger at what she had just been called flooding her.

"Kathy how dare you?" Olivia asked walking towards the blonde haired woman.

"Don't tell me you've not been sleeping with him!" Kathy yelled through gritted teeth.

"Sleeping? With Elliot? Are you mad? What drugs have you been taking Kathy I've only just buried my fiancé and I definitely haven't jumped into bed with Elliot!" Olivia yelled.

At hearing Olivia's voice all the kids and Mrs Jeffries rushed to the door to see what was happening.

"You have been, I bet you were sleeping with him when that man of yours was still alive you dirty whore!" Kathy yelled and Olivia went to turn around but gave in and smacked Kathy in the face with an open hand as Elliot rushed to her grabbing her by the biceps so she couldn't hit again.

"Don't you dare speak about Cole. I would never have cheated on him, I'm not sleeping with your ex husband so get over the fact that he doesn't want you anymore Kathy." Olivia spat.

"Enough! Olivia come inside dear." Mrs Jeffries called and she turned to the children. "Go inside to the living room please children, you shouldn't be listening to this."

"Wow! You're with Elliot and you have Cole's mother here? Does she know you're sharing your bed with a male whore?" Kathy asked.

"How many times has Elliot and I got to tell you that we aren't sharing a bed in anyway, he has his own room and I have mine. I haven't touch Elliot in an inappropriate way so get over it!" Olivia hissed.

Mrs Jeffries had had enough and she rushed down the steps to Olivia's aid.

"Mrs Stabler..."

"Ms Malone" Kathy replied.

"Fine, Ms Malone, I would like to ask you to leave before ..."

It was too late as a marked cop car showed up flashing it's lights.

"Officer?" Elliot nodded his head.

"We've had a call from one of the neighbours about a disturbance?" The copped said.

"Yes!"

"No!" Everyone but Kathy yelled.

"She hit me!" Kathy yelled getting into Olivia's face.

"You're lucky that's all I did!" Olivia yelled back as she struggled against Elliot's grip.

"Ma'am I'm going to have to take you in." The cop sighed turning to Olivia.

"That would be Detective to you." Olivia hissed at the cop seeing him pulling his handcuffs out.

"I want her charged with assault." Kathy hissed.

"I'm sorry but I still have to take you in." The cop sighed turning to Olivia again.

"Fine." Olivia sighed and she looked at Elliot. "Call Cragen." She whispered as she turned around so she could be cuffed.

"Where are you taking her?" Elliot asked.

"Central booking." The cop replied. "You are under arrest for assault, you have the right to remain silent..."

"I know my rights!" Olivia spat.

"I'll meet you there just hold on." Elliot replied grabbing his car keys from his pocket.

"I'll watch the kids Elliot, go make sure she's ok." Mrs Jeffries replied.

****

**Central Booking, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 6th 2008**

**5.41 pm**

Olivia sat in the interrogation room wondering how long they were going to keep her there squirming. She knew someone was stood behind the two way watching her but she wasn't going to give in. As she was about to go over and ask something there were voices she recognised coming from behind the door.

"What is my detective doing sitting in interrogation?" Cragen yelled at a uniformed officer.

"Sir she was arrested for assault." The cop replied.

"And you didn't think of informing me? I am her superior officer, I am her Captain now open that door before I break it down." Cragen yelled.

"I can't do that sir my superior told me to let Ms Benson ..."

"Detective Benson!" Cragen yelled at the man. "She's not some perp that you drag off from the streets she's a grieving widow who lost her son too now open that damned door!"

"I can't sir, they'd have my shield in a heartbeat." The officer sighed. "I really would like to help but the complaining is making a statement right now."

"Who's the complaining?" Cragen asked.

"A Ms Kathy Malone."

"Why am I not fucking surprised. Now go and inform your superior that I am here as Ms Malone is not a reliable complaining." Cragen sighed.

Olivia sat back down in her seat and wondered why Cragen hadn't pulled her out yet. She rubbed her wrists where bright red marks from the handcuffs stood out against her caramel skin.

She felt like an idiot. Hitting Kathy wasn't worth this and she was just relieved that the redness of Kathy's cheek and gone when the officer replied.

"Olivia?" Cragen asked coming into the room.

"Captain I..."

"I don't want to hear it right now Olivia, Kathy's dropped the charges. You owe the detectives here one for that too if they hadn't talked her out of it ..." Cragen sighed and looked at her.

The disappointment in his eyes was killing her. She hadn't meant for this to happen.

"Captain really I ..."

"Olivia, now isn't the time. Just count your lucky stars and let's get you out of here whilst someone makes your papers disappear." Cragen whispered and Olivia followed him to collect her belongings.

"Olivia!" Elliot yelled rushing to her and wrapping his arms around her.

In the heat of the moment Olivia returned the embrace rubbing her cheek into his chest as they waited for her things to be given to her.

"Are you alright?" He asked once he let go of the embrace.

"I'm fine, could have slugged that uniform though, those blooming cuffs were on tight." She sighed as she slipped on her bracelet.

"Well good thing you didn't or you wouldn't be walking out of here now." Elliot laughed softly.

"Just take me home." She sighed as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder.

****

**I had to make her hit Kathy because I totally would have but thought it would be funny to have her arrested for it too!**

**Please Review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Dun Dun, I'm in a good mood and want the story to catch up to me writing, written 25 chaps, so need to upload quick, hope you all can keep up! **

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 7th 2008**

**7.09 am**

As Olivia made her way downstairs she could hear the kettle boiling meaning someone else was up. A she went into the kitchen she found Daniela reading a magazine.

"Good Morning Ms Benson how would you like your coffee?" Daniela smiled sliding off the stool.

"I've told you call me Olivia, Ms Benson sounds so formal! First thing in the morning I like it black with one sugar." Olivia smiled as she took the stool beside the one Daniela had been sitting on.

"Did you have a good night sleep?" Daniela asked as she poured the coffee.

"Yes I did thank you, how about you Daniela, did you find the room ok? I mean we'll have you settled in another room once the loft is converted." Olivia smiled as she was handed her coffee.

"It was fine thank you, and please Dani and never Daniela it sounds so... eugh!" Daniela shivered and pulled a face making Olivia laugh.

"Ok Dani, now I've written down everything for Melly and Elliot's done the same for the older kids, take them to school first and then take Melly, it's going to be so strange going into work before nine." Olivia smiled.

"Ok and don't worry about the kids they'll be fine. Now how does Elliot like his coffee?" Melissa asked hearing more movement above them.

"Milk, three sugars." Olivia replied as she took a sip of her own, relishing at the kick it gave her.

Just as Dani finished pouring Elliot's coffee he walked into the kitchen.

"Thank you Dani, morning Liv." He smiled dropping a kiss on her head before taking the stool beside her.

She stared at him, unsure how to react.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing. Morning El." She smiled.

It wasn't that what he did made her uncomfortable; it was just that what he did felt natural and normal. She shut her eyes and apologised to Cole in her head.

"Goodness Liv, look at your wrists!" Elliot gasped as her robe slipped down to her elbows as she sipped her coffee.

"I told you they were tight!" Olivia exclaimed seeing the damaged skin.

Her wrists weren't just red, they were dry and the skin was peeling at the sides where the silver bracelets had really dug into her skin.

"Asshole, I thought when you told him you were a detective he'd have been nicer." Elliot sighed, he really felt guilty, it was his fault that she slapped Kathy.

"Yeah well that just made him rougher, I almost kicked him when he dragged me into the precinct, he was rough and bitter. Think it was probably the fact that I called him a prick in the car though." Olivia laughed.

"I'm sorry." Elliot whispered.

"Why it wasn't your fault! I'm the one who hit her." Olivia said as she rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"Yes but you wouldn't have if I'd have walked away from her." Elliot sighed.

"Oh come on El, you were defending me! She was saying I was sleeping with you and I buried my boyfriend less than a week ago." She explained. "I don't blame you at all so stop kicking yourself."

"So what was it like to be arrested Olivia?" Daniela asked feeling the conversation getting a little too deep.

"Interesting if I'm honest. It was quite strange being treated like a perp, not an experience I wish to relive though I can tell you that much!" Olivia giggled.

"I bet, I've never been arrested and don't plan on being arrested." Dani laughed. "I don't imagine it is a nice experience really."

"No it isn't now, I'm going to get washed and dressed and see what I can do about my wrists before someone points it out at work. Dani if you can wake up the kids and start on breakfast that would be great, Melly's school uniform is folded on the chair in her room, the rest can manage themselves." Olivia smiled, this morning was going to be much easier without having to rush around after Melly.

"No problem Olivia." Dani smiled as she scanned the meal chart Olivia had made, she wanted to be in control of what Melly was eating with warnings about soda's and sweets.

"Same, need a shower." Elliot mumbled as he placed his coffee cup on the counter just for Daniela to swipe it up and place it in the dishwasher.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 7th 2008**

**8.33 am**

She knew she was in trouble the second she walked into the bullpen. Ed Tucker was in the office yelling about something with Cragen and something told Olivia it was her. Tucker spotted her through the blinds and rushed to the door.

"Benson! Get in here!" He yelled reminding Olivia of a bulldog.

Sighing she dropped her purse on her desk and made her way into the office, ready for a fight. Once she shut the door, Tucker was in her face.

"Arrested? Assault? How could you be so stupid?" Tucker yelled.

"Sir I..."

"Don't Olivia! Do you know how much trouble I've had this morning, you were arrested do you know how lucky you are that the charges were dropped and I can't discipline you because then they'll know you're guilty and they will press charges." Tucker sighed and slumped into the wall.

"Tucker I'm sorry, I reacted, I shouldn't have, what more can I say? Olivia asked nervously.

"How are you Olivia?" He asked.

Olivia stared at him, one minute he was yelling and now he looked ... worried.

"I'm fine thank you." Olivia mumbled almost incoherently.

"Are you? Are you really fine? Because the Olivia Benson I know wouldn't get arrested." He sighed.

Olivia sat down and rested her head in her hands. The sleeves of her t-shirt slipped a little exposing the damaged skin.

"Jesus Olivia?" Tucker gasped rushing to her side.

"What?" She asked.

Tucker held one of her hands and slid up the T exposing the severity of the damage to her wrists.

"Oh." She mumbled looking away from Tucker who actually looked concerned.

"Was this..."

"Yes, handcuffs. Maybe I shouldn't have called the arresting officer a prick." She replied with a nervous giggle. This Ed Tucker scared her more than the raging bull he'd been just five minutes before.

"Wait till I get my hands on the little bugger." Tucker replied as he examined them. "You need some antibiotic cream."

"I know, I have a daughter so I'm in great supply. I have a tube of it in my purse." Olivia replied.

"Olivia, we have been talking and we're worried about you." Cragen sighed deciding to move on with the conversation that had been taking place before her injury had been exposed.

"Why? I'm fine. Coping with the death of my son and fiancé perfectly well, there's no need for anyone to be worried." Olivia crossed her arms and sat back in her chair.

"Really? Asking Elliot to move in with you was impulsive which you aren't and then hitting Kathy?" Cragen asked.

"Asking Elliot to move in wasn't impulsive and before either of you ask we are not sleeping together and we do have separate bedrooms. Hitting Kathy was ... she was calling me all sorts and I flipped out but I'm allowed to lose it once in a while and she just pushed me too far and I cracked and it won't happen again. I am fine." She replied not understanding where all their concerns were coming from.

"For now Olivia, your suspended off record without pay for slugging Kathy Malone only because I have to do something but like I said it's off record. On the record however, you will see George Huang for an hour, everyday, for the next two weeks and we'll go from there." Tucker explained.

"An hour a day with Huang? Why?" Olivia asked shell shocked.

"Because we don't think you're coping with losing Cole and Michael Olivia and you need to start dealing with it. Just do it and don't argue about it." Cragen explained.

"Don't argue about it? Cap? There's nothing wrong with me I'm fine." Her voice became more tense and louder as she spoke.

"No Olivia, you're not and if you don't agree to these sessions you will be suspended without pay." Tucker replied.

"Excuse me? I don't ... Oh my God ... I'm ... Ugh fine but only because I want to keep my job." Olivia yelled as she got to her feet.

"Olivia ..."

"Don't Cap, I'm not interested, now seeing as I'm taking the day, I am going home to spend time with Melly's nanny so I can get to know her." Olivia sighed heading for the door.

"You have a nanny for Melly?" Cragen asked.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes I do." Olivia replied turning back to look at Cragen. "Why do you care?"

"She's my granddaughter Olivia, I would have liked to have been involved." He whispered.

"No Cap, no she isn't not really. She's not even mine." Olivia mumbled her lip quaking as the tears built in her eyes.

He stared at her, he saw how much she was hurting, he was hurting not only at her words but at her reaction.

"I need to go." Olivia whispered before heading into the bullpen.

Tucker turned to Cragen and sighed.

"Hopefully Huang will help." He said before leaving himself.

Olivia was picking up her purse and grabbing a few files so she could work from home.

"Where are you going Liv?" Elliot asked as she caught his attention.

"Suspended." Olivia mumbled.

"What? Why?" Elliot gasped jumping to his feet.

"One day, for slugging Kathy or for getting arrested, I don't know but it's only a day. Oh and I have to see Huang for an hour everyday for the next two weeks." She added.

"What?" Elliot asked his jaw almost hitting the floor.

"Ask him." She hissed seeing Cragen staring from his doorway.

"Cap?" Elliot asked as Olivia turned on her heels and headed for home.

"Let it go Elliot, it's for the best." Cragen sighed before going into his office.

****

**Benson household, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 7th 2008**

**9.34 am**

"Dani it's me!" Olivia yelled as she entered the house, just so she wouldn't scare the Nanny.

"Hi Olivia, you're back early." Daniela smiled as she carried a laundry basket downstairs.

"Yeah, hitting someone and getting arrested equals one day off record suspension." She laughed as she hung her coat up.

"Oh that's not good." Daniela smiled following the detective into the Kitchen.

"I'll switch the kettle on, load the washer and then we can have some coffee and talk ok?" Daniela smiled knowing Olivia needed someone to talk to by the look on her face.

"Sounds good to me, milk one sugar now it's not the first coffee of the day, I'll be in the living room." Olivia smiled, she already liked Dani a lot.

Ten minutes later Olivia and Daniela were sat on either side of the couch talking. They'd both made themselves comfortable so they faced each other to talk easier.

"So did Melly go to school ok?" Olivia asked having worried that Melissa would have played up.

"No problems at all, she showed me off to all her friends." Daniela laughed.

"And the SUV ran without a problem?" Olivia asked having given the black SUV that Cole had to Daniela as it could hold all the kids.

"No problems there either." Daniela smiled.

"Good, I don't know when that thing was last used." Olivia explained.

"Now why don't you tell me what's troubling you Olivia, you seem ... distracted." Daniela smiled gently trying to coax Olivia to open up to her.

"Oh well after getting a rollicking off the bosses he saw the damage the handcuffs made and became really warm and concerned which is not like Ed Tucker, he doesn't like me or Elliot very much, then he informed me that I had to see the psychiatrist for an hour everyday for the next two weeks." Olivia sighed.

"Jesus!" Melissa gasped, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I know." Olivia sighed.

"Did they give you a reason?" Dani asked watching Olivia nervously follow the edge of her mug with her finger.

"They don't think I'm coping with Michael and Cole's deaths." Olivia sighed looking up at the large family picture on the wall.

"Do you agree with them?" Dani asked unsure how to read Olivia's face.

"Of course I don't, I've grieved for them and I miss them and think about them every day but I'm coping with it all just fine Dani, honestly, I have to cope for Melly." She explained wistfully.

"Well tell that to the shrink then, I mean, what's he really going to do?" Dani asked.

"If I say the wrong thing Dani they'll have my gun and shield in a heartbeat." Olivia explained. "And I think Melly and my job are the only things I have left to live for." She added.

"Then tell the shrink that Olivia, it can't hurt to speak with him even if you don't want to, what did they say they'd do if you didn't?"

"Suspended, probably until I would agree to it and if I didn't I would eventually be sacked." Olivia explained as she watched Daniela twirl a strand of long fiery red hair around her finger.

"I don't know what to tell you Olivia, just speak to the shrink and he may decide you don't need to see him, just do what they say for the sake of your job." Daniela suggested.

"You're right, now I don't want to sit here and mope so you and I are going to by some flowers and go to the graveyard." Olivia smiled getting to her feet. "Unless you're uncomfortable with that." She added nervously.

"Of course not, I'll get some flowers too, drop them off on my dad's grave whilst we're there." Daniela smiled getting to her feet and taking Olivia's now empty mug.

****

**Blessed heart's graveyard, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 6th 2008**

**4.30 pm**

Olivia and Dani walked arm in arm to Michael and Cole's graveside. Olivia had bought a large bouquet of Lilies to place there knowing the wreaths would be dying now. When they arrive Olivia smiled seeing that someone had already been there. She placed down the flowers and looked at the card on the bouquet of red roses.

"All my love my son and grandson." Olivia read out loud before replacing the card.

She stood up and re-took Dani's arm as she looked at the gravestone.

Here lies Michael Benson, son and brother, always loved, born 13-7-2003, died 17-6-2008, Cole Jeffries, son, brother, fiancé, born 12-12-1969, died 30-6-2008

"May you forever be in our minds, our soul, our hearts." Dani read. "That's beautiful."

"Yeah." Olivia sighed.

"I'm going to go over to my father's grave, it's over there. You can't miss me with this hair so come over when you're ready." Dani whispered sensing that Olivia wanted sometime alone.

Once Dani was out of earshot Olivia went onto her knees in front of the grave.

"God." She sighed. "What did I ever do to deserve having you in my life, even if it wasn't too last?" Olivia mumbled desperately. "I don't know how I go on. I can't stop thinking about the two of you, I feel like I can't breathe without you. I can't eat properly and sleeping isn't on the agenda either." Olivia explained to the air. She closed her eyes as one tear trickled down her cheek.

"Life can be so cruel. I thought I'd finally gotten everything I ever wanted. Mikey baby, I'm so sorry you got so sick. I should have looked after you better and Cole I should never have let you come on that case with us. Oh God!" Olivia clutched around her waist as she bent over sobbing her heart out feeling physical pain as well as emotional.

"You can't blame yourself Olivia." Cragen sighed making her jump a little.

He knelt down beside her and wrapped a comforting arm around her waist, she dropped her head to his shoulder as she tried to stop crying.

"But it's my fault." She whispered. "Once Melly's old enough she's going to hate me for taking away her father and her brother."

"Now that's just silly Olivia, you're all that little girl has now and she needs you." Cragen sighed.

"I know, I'll never leave her Cap, I just, I don't even know." Olivia sighed angrily.

"Come on, let's get the nanny home, then you and me are going back to the one six and you're going to talk to Huang.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 7th 2008**

**5.41 pm**

"So you've agreed to see me for an hour a day for two weeks is that right?" Huang asked as he watched a trembling Olivia.

When they'd taken Dani home Olivia had made a point in getting changed, she'd pulled on a pair of baggy boy jeans and a vest top and pulled on Cole's gigantic grey hoodie and placed her Nike sneakers to add to the look. She was snuggled into the jacket now, one hand deep in the pocket the other one at her mouth where she chewed nervously at the sleeve.

"Only because my job is on the line." Olivia replied taking a moment to move her hand from her mouth only to clamp it back in place when she'd spoken.

"That's fair enough, do you think that their reasons are justified?" Huang continued.

"No." Olivia mumbled, not even bothering to move her hand from her mouth.

"Ok, when you left here what did you do?" Huang asked.

"I went home, talked to Dani-uh-she's my nanny or Melissa's nanny and we went to the graveyard." Olivia explained.

"Ok let's start with talking with Dani, what did you two talk about?" Huang went on trying to resist the urge to hug Olivia. She looked petrified and the way she was shaking and sweating wasn't doing much to help convince him otherwise.

"I told her about having to come and see you, and we talked about Michael and Cole." Olivia explained.

"Is there anything specific either one of you said that you remember about that conversation?" Huang went on.

"Yes, I uh told her that I didn't agree with Cragen and Tucker saying that I wasn't coping then I told her how I was still grieving and that I think about them every day and she said I should tell you that, which I now have just done." Olivia laughed at the irony.

"Killing two birds with one stone." Huang nodded.

"Exactly." Olivia shrugged.

"Ok so what made you want to go to the graveyard?" Huang asked moving on.

"I just wanted to be close to them you know, that's just somewhere they're buried but I just feel like I can sit there and talk to them and tell them things, especially Cole, I tell Mikey what Melly's been doing but I feel like I can talk to Cole the way I used to the only difference being he physically can't answer me but then most of the time I can hear his voice answering me in my head, telling me what I should do or how to do something." Olivia explained, wondering how freaky she sounded.

"Is it only at the grave you feel close enough to talk to them?" Huang asked prodding a little trying to get more of a response.

"And the roof ... but I uh ... I won't go up there since all of you thought I was going to jump off the ledge." Olivia laughed nervously, she still thought it was quite funny that they thought she'd jump.

"So how are you feeling now, right this minute?" Huang asked needing somewhere to go with this conversation.

"Feeling? I ... I uh... I haven't got anything to feel at the moment ... numb is probably the only way to describe it." She sighed and shook her head, she felt tired and drained but she wasn't about to tell Huang that she hadn't slept at all in nearly seventy two hours.

"That's understandable Olivia, you've got to give yourself time. You probably think life should have slipped back to normal by now but it won't not for a while. Why don't we continue this tomorrow, you look like you could do with getting home to bed." Huang smiled.

"Sounds good to me."

****

**Poor Liv but things aren't getting any easier for her yet but with Elliot she can conquer anything!**

**Please Review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Visibly in a great mood so here's another chapter, I just want you all to catch up to me with the story because I'm flicking around with 4 stories in total and I'm lost! So here is yet another chapter! :D**

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 8th 2008**

**2.01 am**

"_Mommy! Mommy!" Melissa's screams echoed. _

_Olivia ran around frantically trying to find her screaming, sobbing daughter. _

"_Mel! Melly! Melissa, keep shouting baby Mommy's coming!" Olivia yelled._

"_Mommy he's going to get me!" Melly screamed from a distant but it didn't matter how fast Olivia ran she didn't seem to be getting any closer. _

"_Hold on Melly!" Olivia screamed. _

"_Mommy please! Quickly! I don't want too... Ahhhhh!"_

"Olivia wake up!" Elliot whispered frantically.

"What? Wait? Where am I?" Olivia groaned as she looked around the dark room.

"You were having a nightmare, I was awake and I heard you." Elliot explained as he sat by her feet.

"Oh God El, the kids I didn't wake them did I?" Olivia asked as she reached for her phone.

"No don't worry."

"It's just gone two am what on earth are you doing up?" Olivia asked as she placed the phone back on the bedside cabinet.

"I couldn't settle, but I want to know what this nightmare you were having was about." Elliot replied gingerly, he hated making her confront her daemons but he'd spoken to Huang and he'd been told to just keep her talking.

"I..." Olivia bit down on her bottom lip as the dream came back into her mind so vividly. "God El it was Melly!" Olivia shook as she sobbed quietly.

"Hey, I've got you." Elliot whispered pulling her into his arms.

"I can't do this El, don't leave me." She sobbed.

"I won't, I'm going nowhere." He replied as he rocked her gently.

"No I mean tonight, stay with me. I don't want to be on my own." She explained.

Elliot sighed, this was not what he expected, she was grieving and he knew now wasn't the time to make a move on her but he couldn't say no to her either, her eyes searched his for a glimpse of something, anything that would make her know that she wasn't alone and he wasn't going to leave her.

"Of course I will Liv, get back in bed, I'll get in the other side." He whispered.

They both got into the bed and Olivia snuggled her back into Elliot's chest. Nervously he wrapped his arms around her and spooned into her. She snuggled her head into him and he dropped a gentle kiss on her head. This felt so wrong but yet so right to both of them and even though they both felt so comfortable they still felt uncomfortable. Neither one of them said another word but they shut their eyes and succumbed to sleep.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 8th 2008**

**8.49 am**

"Shit!" Elliot hissed kicking the side of the couch.

"Ok, someone's angry do you want to talk about it?" Huang asked looking at a very angry Elliot.

Elliot rubbed his hand over his mouth before sitting down and resting his head in his palms.

"No, Yes, I don't know." He spat. "I have too."

"Ok then tell me what's got you so rattled at this time in the morning."

"I ... oh God... I slept in Liv's bed last night." He whispered avoiding the calm look on Huang's face, the only man he couldn't read like a book.

"Ok and how do you feel about that?" Huang asked.

"How do I feel? How do I _feel_? Are you out of your mind?" Elliot yelled.

"Yelling isn't going to help, so tell me why you slept in Olivia's bed last night, tell me what made it happen." Huang went on trying to calm the monster that was boiling in front of him.

"She was having a nightmare, I was awake, I went to make sure she was ok and she asked me to stay with her." Elliot explained slowly calming down.

The sweat dripped on his forehead with the stress of not only saying what had happened out loud but the stress of trying to come to terms with what happened.

"Did you invite yourself into her bed?" Huang asked.

"God No! She was crying after the nightmare and she asked me to stay with her, she asked me to hold her and I did." Elliot explained.

"Ok well why are you so angry?" Huang continued.

"Because this morning, she got out of bed so fast and then she went and locked herself in the bathroom and I could hear her sobbing and then once she was out of there she acted like nothing had happened, she won't talk to me and tell me what's going on in her mind! Is she angry that I slept in her bed or is she feeling something else completely I don't know and I don't know how to deal with her grieving?" Elliot searched Huang's face desperately.

"Did you try asking her?"

"Of course I did, when she came out of the bathroom but then I had to shut up around the kids and then again in the car and she just told me it didn't matter but it does matter whatever happened between that nightmare and waking up this morning upset her, or at least something upset her." Elliot sighed.

"Have you considered the possibility that for a moment she thought you were Cole?" Huang suggested.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked.

"Well maybe she woke up and just for a moment forgot everything that happened and expected to see Cole beside her and when she saw you she panicked not because it was you but that she'd forgotten that it wasn't Cole." Huang explained.

"It could be that but it could be so many other things but that's not the point I need her to tell me what happened." Elliot sighed angrily.

"You've taken a big step in moving in with her and I'm sure she appreciates having you around Elliot, she'd become slightly dependant on Cole and you have to be careful that she isn't using you to fill that void in her life." Huang explained.

"I'm not." Olivia's voice came from behind Huang.

"Olivia..."

"Liv!" Elliot gasped jumping to her feet.

"Whatever upset me Elliot was nothing to do with you I swear, and I am not using Elliot to fill an empty void in my life either Huang so get your facts right before sprouting your bullshit ok?" Olivia explained and she took the seat beside Elliot and took his hand into her own. "Now let's talk about this while all three of us are here so we can all get out facts straight." Olivia smiled gently.

"Ok Olivia, why don't you tell us what happened this morning?" Huang asked.

"Ok, when I woke up I was feeling really happy that Elliot was there beside me and then I suddenly felt guilty." Olivia explained. "I don't know why I felt guilty but I know that's what it was."

"Right so that's why you were crying because you felt guilty?" Huang asked to clarify what Olivia had just said.

"Yes, I was happy to wake up beside Elliot and I even smiled and then when Elliot opened his eyes I was hit with a wave of guilt that I couldn't manage so I locked myself in the bathroom so ... so I wouldn't make Elliot feel guilty." Olivia's voice dropped to a mere whisper at the end and Elliot gave her hand a comforting squeeze.

"Now we're getting somewhere, why did you ask Elliot to sleep beside you last night?" Huang went on.

"Have you ever felt so safe that you don't want to let go? That's how I feel with Elliot, it was the same when I was with Cole and before he split with Kathy, I know it's too soon after Cole and I'm not implying that anything more will come from our friendship but I do know that I need Elliot around, he's my best friend and I am dependant on him but I was dependant on him before I met Cole, Elliot was the person I called after a tough day or another break up, he's always been there to wrap his arms around me and keep me safe and right now I need it more than ever." Olivia explained solemnly, she didn't look at Elliot to see the tear march down his cheek.

He'd always felt the same for Olivia but he's been with Kathy and then she'd been with Cole, this was the first time they'd both been single. He couldn't stop his heart from giving a little leap of joy.

"What do you think Elliot?" Huang asked pulling him from his own thoughts.

"Olivia's right, we've always had each other and now it's no different, she needs me more than she's ever needed me and I plan to be around for her. If she decides when she's back on her feet that I am in the way I'll find my own place again but until she tells me that then I'm not moving." Elliot smiled softly as he felt Olivia's hand squeeze his tight.

"This seems to be working for both of you, talking out in the open with an impartial third party..."

"I wouldn't call you impartial George, but we'll go with that!" Olivia interrupted.

"Fair enough, now why don't you tell me the truth about why you felt guilty?" Huang asked knowing Olivia had thought through her feelings hard.

"I felt that I shouldn't have been happy to have Elliot beside me. That I should have been thinking of Cole. I felt guilty that he's only been in the ground a few days and I'm already letting another man sleep in his spot in our bed. I want to get rid of the bed and buy a new one just because that bed was mine and his and I don't want that, I was going to sell the house but instead I'm just redecorating and making a fresh look from my point of view. At the moment everything is mine and Cole's and I don't want that anymore, then I know it would ease the guilt a little. I know it's soon and I know it's going to take a while but I will get there George, I woke up this morning feeling stronger and happier than I have in a while." Olivia explained. "And that's what made me feel guilty."

"That you woke up feeling stronger and happier?"

"_Because_ I woke up stronger and happier because Elliot was by my side." She explained further.

"That's understandable Olivia, there's nothing wrong with feeling a little guilt that you're happy, it's completely normal. The only thing I can really tell you is talk to Elliot, let him know how you're feeling and why you think you feel that way, I can sit here when you do if it's easier for you but he needs to know so he doesn't get wound up and think he's done something to upset you when he hasn't." Huang smiled gently and Olivia returned it.

"I'm sorry El." She whispered turning to face him.

"Don't be sorry Liv, but Huang's right, just talk to me and tell me how you feel and I will help." Elliot smiled. "Now come here." He pulled her into his arms.

Her breath vanished as she returned the embrace, tears stung her eyes but they weren't sad tears, they were very happy tears.

"Thank you El." She whispered.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 8th 2008**

**10.12 am**

Olivia sighed as she flicked the catalogue she'd been looking through back to the beginning. She was in the process of planning Melly's birthday party and was trying to find the perfect gift.

"What do you buy a five year old?" She sighed to Elliot who was sat watching her from his desk.

"Toys?" Elliot suggested.

"Very funny Elliot, I guessed that as I do have a toy catalogue but I just don't know what to get her." She sighed again, she had already bought the main gift but then she wanted to make it as special a day as she could.

"Well with my girls I always think of the TV programmes they like and toys they already play with, so if Melly like playing with dolls you can get her a doll if she like's watching Barney the dinosaur you can by her a Barney teddy or something." Elliot suggested.

"Oh I never thought of that! Thanks El." Olivia smiled as she started going through the catalogue and scribbling down the items she needed to buy.

Elliot was just watching her with a smile on his face, everything she'd said to Huang earlier that morning had made him hopeful that their relationship could go somewhere. He knew it would take time, a lot of time but he was just going to be there for her and let her take the lead.

"I've ordered a new bed for my room." Olivia smiled lifting her head up to look at Elliot.

"You have?" Elliot asked surprised at her.

"Yes, I mean if you don't want to share it with me that's fine but if you do then I won't feel so guilty that you're in Cole's spot. Like I said I really liked waiting up beside you ... but again if you don't want to then that's cool too." Olivia mumbled nervously.

"I really liked waking up beside you Liv and if you want me there I'm there." He smiled.

"OK." She beamed at him. "It will be all set up when we get home, Dani said she'd make it after the guys set it up. She's an angel I don't know how I'd manage without her." Olivia smiled thinking of the red headed nanny.

"She is amazing and the kids love her." Elliot added having been very grateful to the red head for taking care of his kids, it had been a load off his mind knowing that she was with them.

"I know, I was really nervous about having a live in nanny at first, I mean, what happens if I don't like her, what happens if Melly doesn't like her and so on but she's perfect and she's a friend now too. I love having her around just to talk to when the kids are in bed and you've disappeared." Olivia smiled.

"What do you mean disappeared?" Elliot asked his brows furrowing showing his confusion.

"When you go into the living room to watch TV, me and Dani go into the study with hot drinks and have girly chats." Olivia explained.

"That's where you've been hiding? I always go into the kitchen and wonder where you've vanished too!" Elliot laughed throwing the scrunched up paper in his hand at Olivia's head.

"Hey! Yes, we're in the study and now you can help me by writing the invites for Melly's party for everyone here and I'm going to write her class invites." Olivia smiled handing over a small pile of part invites to Elliot. "Don't forget to write one for Richards and Jenkins from Missing Persons either, I don't know if they'd come but I know Cole would have invited them." Olivia added.

Elliot smiled and nodded and as he began to write he realised it was one of the very few times Olivia mentioned Cole without getting teary eyed or show any emotion, she'd used his name in a sentence in the past tense without getting upset and that really surprised him.

****

**Sacred heart's graveyard, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 8th 2008**

**6.25 pm**

"Everyone to the table!" Dani's voice echoed from the kitchen.

Olivia just laughed as a stampede of footsteps echoed from upstairs.

"I guess the kids are hungry!" Elliot laughed.

"You're telling me!" Olivia smiled as they made their way through to the main dining room, the kitchen table was too small for everyone having Elliot's kids over.

Dani served the food and took her seat beside Olivia as everyone tucked in.

"So did you have a good day Dani?" Olivia asked, she loved making conversation with the nanny, she was such a lovely young woman and she could always make Olivia smile.

"Yes the bed arrived at ten so once that was up I made it and because I got so much done yesterday I went to pick up ..." she leant in to Olivia to whisper "the party stuff and her gift"

"Oh right, Thanks Dani you are a star!" Olivia smiled. "It's mad to think I had reservations about getting a nanny I thought I'd spend less time with Melly but I'm glad that you know I'll bathe and put her to bed when I'm here but know the routine to do it if I'm not."

"It's strange, the family I worked for before barely went near their children, the kids and I would have food separate to them except for Sunday lunch. It's nice to see that you actually only hired me because you work so much and that you spend as much time with Melly as you can, I told the other girls at the park earlier how I get most evenings to myself and just have to be on standby in case you get called in and they were shocked." Melly explained.

"Well Cole's mother wanted us to get a nanny when he was alive and we had Michael to take care of too but we didn't see the point, it was very rare we both got called in the same time so we didn't need one and now I'm on my own with just Melly I do and even with Elliot here we still need one because if I get called in so does he and thank you for helping with his four too, they really adore you." Olivia smiled.

"I think the world of all of them Olivia, they're something special and they're full of life and keep me on my toes too!" Dani laughed.

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 8th 2008**

**11.02 pm**

Olivia had just slipped on her pyjamas when Elliot knocked on the bedroom door.

"Why are you knocking Elliot?" Olivia asked her voice dipped in a whisper.

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"If you'd be more comfortable in your room I'm sure I'll be fine you know." She whispered.

"No, I want to be here in case you have a nightmare." Elliot explained pulling her into a hug.

"You're the best do you know that?" She smiled her body dipping into his embrace.

"I try to be." They both laughed softly.

"I wouldn't have gotten through this without you El, you mean the world to me." She explained softly.

He looked at her. She looked at him. Their eyes met in the dim light of the lamps that lit the room. She initiated it, he reacted.

She leant forward and her lips brushed his, when he didn't pull away her eyes fluttered shut and their kiss deepened. His mouth opened accommodating the slow entrance of her tongue. As she removed hers he pushed his and she reacted the same way. It was slow. It was passionate. And it was full of love. As they came up for air they looked at each other again their eyes meeting. His was filled with love and hers a mixture of happiness and sadness.

"El I ..."

"Don't Olivia. I'm sorry." He whispered still holding onto her.

"Don't be sorry, I just ... I promised Huang we'd talk I just want to tell you I ... I love you El, I always have in a way. Get in bed and we'll talk more." She smiled and kissed him on the cheek before they let go of each other.

They both adjusted their pillows so they were sitting and slowly he pulled her so she was sat into his shoulder.

"I'm not sorry I kissed you." She explained. "I'm just ... my head's telling me this is too soon after Cole but my hearts telling me that I've loved you since the day we met." Olivia explained.

"I love you too Liv." Elliot whispered and kissed the side of her head making her smile.

"I felt guilty again, as well as happy. This is just so confusing!" She sighed.

"I'll go as slow or as quick as you want Olivia, I know that our circumstances are very different. I just need to tell you that it wasn't that I didn't like Cole because I did and I loved the way he made you happy but the reason I was such an ass was because I was jealous." Elliot explained.

"Why?" Olivia asked shocked at his sudden revelation.

"Because he had you, he had your heart and I wanted it. I broke it off with Kathy at the hope I could have you but you were too much in love with Cole, I left it too late." Elliot sighed gently and gave her a light squeeze.

"You know, I only got with Cole in the first place to make you jealous but then I did fall in love with him. I really did love him and I always will Elliot." Olivia explained.

"I know, I can live with that but if your heart can love the two of us I would like that to." Elliot replied.

"It already does, it always has loved you Elliot and even when I was with Cole I loved you but I thought you were the one love I could never have." Olivia explained further. "Now he's gone and you're here I don't want you to think that I'm replacing him with you because that couldn't be further from the truth. I love you and I want to be with you and ... I just don't know how to explain what's going on in my head Elliot." She sighed softly.

"Then don't try and explain it Liv, just let whatever's happening happen and you'll know when it's the right time to do whatever you want. It is soon but if you've been fighting this for so long I'm not surprised that ... what I mean to say is I always wanted this with you and now that I have it I'm not about to let it go doesn't matter how slow we have to take this, I'll always wait for you Olivia, I have been for long enough."

"I love you El."

"I love you too Liv."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek before turning the light off. Elliot did the same and they both sunk into the new bed so they were lying down. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she wrapped hers around his arms. He kissed her head and closed his eyes both of them falling into a gentle sleep.

****

**So the start of something new for Elliot and Olivia? Let's wait and see!**

**Please Review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**There are a few mistakes in days and times and places but tbf I don't care and I don't think anyone actually reads them! Haha!**

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 12th 2008**

**6.25 am**

"Good morning baby." Elliot smiled dropping a kiss onto Olivia's forehead.

"Morning." She smiled softly. "How long have you been awake?" She asked as she pushed herself to sitting.

"About ten minutes but I wanted to watch you sleep." He explained his face flushing with embarrassment.

"That's cute!" Olivia laughed and she leant in and kissed him on the lips gently.

"We've got loads to do before the kids wake up!" Olivia sighed as she climbed out of the bed.

"Yup!" Elliot agreed as he climbed out on the other side.

Olivia without thinking grabbed her sweats and pulled off her pyjama bottoms to change. Elliot's eyes followed the skin she'd revealed.

"Oh El I'm sorry!" She laughed pulling the sweats on quickly.

"Don't be, I shouldn't have been looking." He blushed and turned away.

"I've no objections Detective." She mumbled trying to sound seductive but coming over shy.

"I didn't know you have a tattoo." He whispered.

She dropped her head as he hand rubbed her hip where the tattoo lay.

"Yeah it's ... God ... its Cole's shield number." She whispered.

"Oh." Elliot replied. "Wow when did you get it done?" Elliot asked as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.

"On our one year anniversary." She replied. "We both got it done."

"Oh." He replied, he wasn't bothered but he didn't know how to react.

"Sorry." Olivia mumbled.

"Don't be sorry Olivia, I'm not upset or mad or anything I just really don't know how to react, can I see it?" He asked gently.

She walked around to him and pulled her pants down just enough for the tattoo to show.

The numbers 4071 showed in bright black ink.

"That's really cute." He smiled as his finger lined the ink.

Olivia held her breath as his finger swept slowly along her hip. She didn't know how to react but when he moved his finger it left the skin tingling from his touch.

He looked at her and saw that his touch had affected her, it was really low down on her hip and his face flushed as he realised what he had done.

"Sorry." He whispered.

"Don't be." She smiled as she lifted her trousers back up.

She leant in to him and brushed her lips against his gently.

"Don't be." She said firmer before pulling away.

He was confused. He loved her so much and he allowed her to initiate everything between them but he couldn't help get the feeling of wanting to kiss her and throw her on the bed and make passionate love with her. He shook his head as he watched Olivia go under the bed. She pulled out a large box and Elliot looked at her confused.

"Melly's presents, I didn't know where to keep them and I can carry them all like this." She explained seeing the look on his face.

"I'll take them down." Elliot smiled lifting the box into his arms.

"Thank you." She smiled back.

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 12th 2008**

**7.41 am**

Olivia sipped at her coffee as she piled the gifts up on the dining table. She wanted Melly to have some gifts before breakfast. Elliot had disappeared back upstairs and allowed her to carry on with what she was doing.

"Here we go." Dani smiled carrying her own pile of gifts.

"Dani?" Olivia asked as Dani began placing the gifts in the pile.

"They're nothing much, I just wanted her to have something from me." Dani smiled.

"You didn't have to." Olivia smiled giving the red head a hug.

"I know, but I wanted to Olivia, like I said they're nothing much but I think she'll like them." Dani explained. "And I've made pancakes for breakfast too, I asked her yesterday what she wanted for birthday breakfast."

"You're a star Dani." Olivia smiled as Elliot came in to the room with a large arm full of gifts that he was struggling to carry.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked as he placed them on the table.

"One from me and one from each of the kids and the kids went out and bought their own too." Elliot explained.

"Oh El, thank you." Olivia smiled at him.

"No problem, you wanted to make this birthday special for her as it's her first one without Michael and we will." He smiled stepping behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"We will." She smiled back as she rubbed her cheek into the side of his head.

"Elliot would you like some coffee?" Dani asked, she'd seen Elliot and Olivia slowly get closer so it didn't bother her seeing the contact.

"Yeah please." He smiled.

"I'll have another one too if you don't mind Dani." Olivia smiled and Dani shook her head and took Olivia's mug.

Olivia turned around and wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck.

"I want to ask you something and explain why I'm asking before you say anything." Olivia mumbled.

"Go for it." Elliot smiled gently knowing that whatever it was that she was going to say was bothering her.

"Today, at the party, no touchy feely like we have been in the house, not only is Cragen and everyone going to be here but Mom, Cole's Mom is going to be and his sister and I am not ready to tell them about you yet, it's too soon." Olivia explained.

"No problem just let me kiss you now and I'll be ok." He smiled and she grinned as he slowly leant in to her.

Their kiss was slow and passionate. There was never any rush in their kissing, and Olivia's arms snaked around him as she moved deeper into the kiss. When the dining room door squeaked open they both jumped apart, they hadn't said anything to the kids yet.

"Sorry." Dani grimaced as she walked in with two mugs of coffee.

"It's ok." Olivia shrugged as she took her mug and Elliot took his.

There was some noise from above them and Olivia laughed.

"Something tells me the kids are up!" She giggled as the stampede of footsteps arrived the stairs.

"Yup!" Elliot laughed.

Melly was the first one into the dining room followed by the Stabler kids.

"Wow!" Melly gasped seeing the large pile of gifts.

Olivia put her coffee down and scooped Melly into her arms.

"Happy Birthday baby." She smiled as Melly wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

"Thank you Mommy." She replied.

Olivia went round to the end of the dining room as Dani returned with the camera and passed it to Elliot, Olivia had been very specific that she wanted lots of pictures taken and Elliot had been to buy a new camera for the day. Melly sat on Olivia's lap and Olivia passed her the first gift and opened the label to read it to her.

"To Mel, lots of love from Dani." Olivia read from the card.

Melly was a typical little girl, carefully peeling back the sellotape from the pink glitter paper.

"Wow cool! Thank you Dani!" Melly beamed as she opened the large Sesame Street poster for her bedroom.

"You're welcome Mel." Dani smiled and she took the poster and put it behind the unopened present.

The next gift Melly picked up Olivia knew exactly what it was.

"To Smelly Melly from Mommy." Olivia read making Melissa giggle, she loved the nickname 'Smelly Melly'.

Again it took a few minutes for Melly to take the paper from the small black box. Olivia helped her open it to reveal the contents.

"Wow!" Melly gasped.

"Do you like it?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah it's pretty!" Melly beamed.

"It says Daughter, because you're my daughter." Olivia explained as she took the gold necklace from the box and put it around Melly's neck.

"Thank you Mommy." Melly smiled and hugged her mother once the necklace was on.

Olivia hugged Melissa back and then helped her move on to the next gift.

"To Chipmunk, love from Uncle El." Olivia laughed and looked at Elliot just as he snapped a photo of her.

Melissa opened it to find a plastic dolly with clothing.

"Elliot that thing is the size of a really baby!" Olivia gasped as Molly admired it.

"Thank you Uncle El." Melly smiled turning to look at him.

"Yes Liv it is and you're welcome Chipmunk." He smiled as Melly went on to the next gift.

All in all Olivia bought her the necklace, an Elmo soft toy that danced to music when you pressed its belly, a big bag of her favourite candy, and a set of small dolls for another gift she'd be getting later. Elliot had got her the doll and a hamper of clothing for the doll. From his kids he'd bought various Barbie dolls and clothing to match. Maureen had bought her a Sesame Street CD, Kathleen had bought her a Sesame Street jumper and Lizzie and Dickie had bought her a Barbie magazine. Dani had bought her the poster, a small plain gold bracelet which Olivia loved as it fitted perfectly and a small Barbie watch.

"You've been spoilt rotten madam!" Olivia laughed as Melly admired all her now unopened gifts.

"Thank you everyone!" She smiled happily.

"Now, me and Uncle El will take these to your room out of the way whilst Dani serves birthday breakfast." Olivia smiled as Melly hopped off her lap.

"She's happy." Elliot smiled as he and Olivia left the dining room with arm full's of gifts.

"Yep, I have one more thing for her but had nowhere to hide it so Cragen has been keeping it in his office." Olivia explained. "He's bringing it over later."

"That's good, I mean it must be big if you had nowhere to hide it." Elliot added.

"Yup, I had to have Munch and Fin help me take it to the office, I couldn't have carried it on my own if I tried." Olivia explained. "I'm just hoping it will actually fit into the trunk of his car!"

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 12th 2008**

**12.30 am**

The guests had all arrived and the party was in full swing. Olivia had never seen the house so full with fifteen little kids running around as well as some mothers who had decided to stay and all her friends and family.

She was stood leaning against the door frame watching Melly dance in her little pink party dress as Elliot moved around taking pictures.

"Hello Dear." Mrs Jeffries smiled coming to stand beside her.

"Hey Mom." Olivia smiled still watching Melly dance.

"How are you keeping?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"I'm well thank you. How are you?" Olivia asked turning to look at the woman.

"I'm perfectly fine." She smiled.

Olivia turned back to Melly and she looked at Elliot as he turned to look at her. He smiled at her widely and she smiled back, hers softer.

"He loves you." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"What? Mom?" Olivia gasped turning to look at the aging woman again.

"He does, you can see it in his eyes when he looks at you." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"No Mom he doesn't." Olivia sighed even though she knew he'd said it, she wasn't sure and she wasn't about to tell the mother of her dead fiancé either.

"Yes he does and you love him too but you're letting your grief cloud it." Mrs Jeffries said firmly and Olivia didn't know what to say or how to react. "It's ok Olivia, you need to move on and he loves you as much as Cole did and you love him too, once your grief subsides a little you'll see it too."

"Mom I ..."

"Don't Olivia, I approve of Elliot, he may have been divorced and have four kids whom you adore but anyone who's going to make you happy is going to make me happy." Mrs Jeffries smiled. "And to show you I'd like you to bring him and his children to lunch tomorrow and don't argue with me about it Olivia, I want to really get to know him if he loves my daughter in law."

"Mom it's ... I don't know." She sighed finding herself in this extremely awkward position.

"He loves you Olivia and you're only blinded by grief." Mrs Jeffries explained. "Just go with whatever happens between you, don't hold back because of Cole because I know my son and he'd want you to move on with your life and be happy. He wouldn't want you mopping and possibly miss out on someone who loves you as much as he did." Mrs Jeffries explained further.

"Ok." Olivia whispered. "I'll go with it but I don't think anything will happen with me and El Mom, he's just my partner and friend ... my best friend." Olivia replied softly.

"Your best friend who wants to be so much more Olivia, he's already living here because he wants to take care of you and I am telling you to let him." Mrs Jeffries stated firmly.

"Ok, we'll come for lunch and I'll see what happens between us Mom but don't get your hopes up that we're going to fall in love and get married, I don't see that happening with Elliot." She shrugged, it wasn't that she hadn't imagined it happening before because she had but then she'd imagined it with Cole too and he was gone.

"And don't let your fear of losing him run your life either. Cole's death was meant to be Olivia, it was God's will and you may not be religious but I am. You will find happiness again with a man who loves you and I think it's Elliot." Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around Mrs Jeffries shoulders.

"We'll see." She smiled.

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 12th 2008**

**4.30 pm**

All of Melly's friends had gone home and the only people who remained were Olivia's friends and family. They'd all gathered in the study as there was more seating space and had been closed off from the children during the party.

"It's been a long day!" Olivia yawned.

The kids had gone upstairs to play leaving the adults left to talk and enjoy a drink.

"Don't speak when you yawn dear it's rude and unattractive." Mrs Jeffries smiled and Olivia laughed gently.

"Sorry Mom." She smiled knowing that everyone of her friends was laughing inside.

"Now Elliot, I was telling Olivia earlier that you and the children should come to lunch with her tomorrow." Mrs Jeffries smiled turning to Elliot as Olivia hid her face hoping she wouldn't tell everyone in the room the full length of her conversation.

"Thank you we will." Elliot smiled understanding that this was more than just a lunch invite.

"And you'll come too Daniela?" Mrs Jeffries asked turning to the red head.

"Of course, Thank you Mrs Jeffries." Dani smiled softly, she knew she was being invited to take care of the kids when the family would go into the library after lunch for tea and coffee.

"Good then that's sorted and Don you'll be joining us too, as Olivia's surrogate father?" Mrs Jeffries asked turning to aging man who hadn't expected that.

"Yes I will thank you for the invite." Cragen replied unsure where to look as Olivia was hiding her face in embarrassment knowing exactly what Mrs Jeffries was up to.

"Good because I want to have a real family dinner with my daughter in law." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

Olivia saw that Mrs Jeffries was looking at her and she smiled back gently before looking at Elliot who was grinning at her cheekily. She looked at the ground wanting it to swallow her whole. She didn't mind that Mrs Jeffries had invited Elliot, she knew it was her way of showing to both of them that she accepted it if any relationship was to flourish between them but she also knew that Mrs Jeffries was inviting Cragen so that he could see and give his blessing but she knew that would never come. Don Cragen who was oblivious to the growing relationship between his detectives would never give them his blessing, ever. She was embarrassed and couldn't wait to get Elliot on his own so she could tell him what her mother in law was playing at.

"Oh Olivia dear, I bought something for you. It's in my purse would you get it for me?" Mrs Jeffries asked tapping Olivia's knee.

"Of course not, I'll be right back." Olivia replied gently as she got to her feet. "Excuse me everyone." She added knowing that her Mother in Law would comment if she didn't excuse herself from the room, she was a stickler for manners.

Fin glanced at Munch and they were both sniggering at how formal Olivia had to be around her mother in law. The Olivia they knew wasn't like this, she'd have just said 'no problem' and rushed out of the room.

When Olivia came back she handed the purse to Mrs Jeffries and resumed her place on the couch beside her. Mrs Jeffries pulled out a small black box and opened it before showing it to Olivia. It was a thick plain gold chain.

"It's too put your engagement ring on, it's about time you took it off your finger Olivia." Mrs Jeffries explained.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled and Mrs Jeffries held out her hand for Olivia's ring.

Olivia looked away as she took off the ring. Tears stung her eyes. She wasn't ready to take it off, not yet, and here she was handing it to her mother in law. Elliot was watching Olivia closely. He knew she was trying to stop herself from crying and he wanted nothing more than to rush over to her and wrap his arms around her shoulder. As Mrs Jeffries placed the ring on the chain Olivia's thumb rubbed the now naked finger. She felt like something was missing instantly.

"Turn around Dear." Mrs Jeffries smiled and once Olivia turned around she placed the chain around Olivia's neck and closed it shut.

"Thank you." Olivia forced a smile as she fingered the ring that now hung on her neck.

"It will do until you're ready to put the ring in a box in a drawer and out of the way." Mrs Jeffries explained. "But it's time now for people to see that you're available again."

Mrs Jeffries looked at Elliot as she spoke and Olivia closed her eyes and tried to hide the tears that pricked her eyes again.

"Thank you." She managed to whisper and she gave Mrs Jeffries a hug just so she wouldn't be caught blinking back the tears.

Everyone else in the room could see what she was doing and everyone wanted to make sure she was ok but they stayed seated knowing it best not to interfere.

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 12th 2008**

**10.34 pm**

"Are you ok?" Elliot asked as Olivia sat under the duvet.

"Yeah I'm fine." Olivia sighed as she fingered the ring around her neck.

"You don't seem fine. Want to talk about it?" Elliot asked, he was determined to listen to Huang and keep their relationship going by talking to each other.

He climbed into the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms.

"Come on, what's bothering you?" Elliot asked as Olivia made herself comfortable on his chest.

"Cole's mom gave us her blessing earlier." Olivia explained.

"What? You told her?" Elliot asked in shock.

"No!" Olivia gasped. "She told me she could tell that you love me by the way that we look at each other. She said I should just go with it and stop letting my grief cloud my judgement as she knows I love you too." Olivia explained.

"Oh ok, what did you say?" Elliot asked surprised at Olivia's revelation.

"I told her I don't know what we have or where it's going but we'll see, I wasn't about to tell her that we were sharing a bed and kissing each other." Olivia replied. "It's too soon."

"Ok baby, we'll just go with it, see where it takes us." Elliot replied gently giving her a squeeze.

"But what is this El? Are we just best friends or are we actually going somewhere?" Olivia asked.

"I thought we'd past the best friend stage." Elliot replied feeling hurt.

"Are we? Then what would you call us El?" Olivia asked lifting her chin to look him in his eyes.

"I don't know but I know what I'd like to call you." He replied gently.

"And what's that?" Olivia asked uncertainty echoing in her voice.

"I'd like to call you my girlfriend." Elliot replied as Olivia's face lit up.

"You would? But we've not even been on a date!" Olivia exclaimed.

"I would and we've known each other for five years Olivia. We can go on dates, I'd like to take you on dates if you'd let me." Elliot explained.

"I would like that ... boyfriend." She replied and she dropped a kiss on his lips.

He pulled her towards him and took in her lingering kiss. He was overjoyed that this was his chance to make things happen between him and Olivia, something he'd wanted for so long and he was determined not to screw it up.

"We've both got a half day on Wednesday." Elliot whispered as the kiss broke.

"Yeah we do." Olivia replied.

"Then Wednesday, make sure Dani can work I know Wednesday you've said she can have off but have her work from five thirty and I'm going to take you out on a date." Elliot smiled.

"Ok, I'll check with Dani tomorrow." Olivia replied. "Now we should get some sleep, it's going to be a long day at my mother in law's tomorrow." Olivia sighed and she leant over him to turn the light off.

****

**Boyfriend and girlfriend? Mommy's blessing? I had to make the mother accept it because otherwise Olivia wouldn't let it happen, hope this works for you guys and get ready for more E/O**

**Please Review!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Jeffries Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 13th 2008**

**11.45 am**

Charles the butler showed everyone into the living room, they'd all dressed in their Sunday best and were terribly nervous.

"Olivia dear nice to see you!" Mrs Jeffries smiled getting to her feet and embracing her.

"Hi Mom, good to see you too." Olivia replied as she kissed the woman's cheek.

"Olivia." Cragen smiled standing up and also embracing her.

She kissed him on the cheek to remembering that she had to mind her manners even more at her mother in law's house.

"Good to see you Pops." She smiled as they separated.

"Elliot." Cragen smiled shaking his hand.

"Hi there Captain." Elliot smiled shaking his hand.

"Now we should go through to the dining room, dinner will be served soon." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

They all followed her into the large family dining room and Olivia's mind flashed back to the last time she had been in this room. She froze and stared at the seat where she had been reading Cole's will.

"Liv?" Elliot asked his hands on her shoulders.

"Sorry." She replied shaking her head.

"Where did you go?" He asked as he pulled her seat out for her.

"I'll tell you later." She replied.

As she took her seat Elliot pushed it in for her. Mrs Jeffries smiled seeing this and Cragen was doing the same for her.

The men took their seats and they all fumbled with their napkins placing them on their laps remembering to treat the place as a five star restaurant. Dani helped the children as the maid and butler began serving the lunch.

"Now Olivia, tell me, how are things going at work?" Mrs Jeffries smiled.

Olivia looked at Elliot then Cragen, they all knew Mrs Jeffries was just trying to make small talk but their job wasn't something anyone would discuss over dinner.

"Fine thank you. It's been quiet and none of us are complaining about that." Olivia replied with a soft chuckle coming from Elliot and Cragen.

"Good, glad to know that the bad guys are taking a break." Mrs Jeffries replied picking up her wine glass.

"It's wonderful for us, I think we're all up to date with paperwork for the first time in years and it gives us a chance to do some work on cold cases." Olivia explained.

"What are cold cases?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Well a case goes cold when we run out of leads and don't manage to catch the bad guy. We don't have a statute of limitations on rape cases anymore which means a case is only closed when the bad guy is caught. With all the free time we have we get to go back to the cold cases and look at them again and see if we can find any fresh leads." Olivia explained softly trying to avoid looking at Cragen and Elliot who were both shifting uncomfortably in their seats as they knew Olivia didn't want to talk about her job.

"I don't know how you do it Olivia, I mean Cole looked for missing people where as you deal with rape and child abuse. I don't think I could do it myself." Mrs Jeffries smiled. "You're an amazing woman, isn't she Elliot?" Mrs Jeffries smile turning to Elliot.

Olivia dropped her head to hide the smile on her face, she knew what Mrs Jeffries was doing and it was embarrassing and worse because Cragen was there.

"She's something else." Elliot replied and once Mrs Jeffries eyes moved from him her dropped his head to stare at his plate.

"Captain Cragen ..."

"Please call me Don." He replied gently.

"Don, what's it like having two of Manhattan's finest on your team?" She asked.

Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other, their eyes met for a second before they dropped them again.

"I feel very lucky Mrs Jeffries ..."

"Call me Anne." She interrupted.

"Anne, they're like my children and I feel very privileged to have them on my team and have such a close relationship with both of them." Cragen replied.

"I'm sure that's the case Don, they're both wonderful people. How about their relationship with each other? Are they close?"

"Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom." Elliot explained softly as he removed his napkin from his lap as he stood up.

"I'll show you where it is Elliot, excuse me." She smiled gently as she removed her own napkin.

They couldn't get out of the room fast enough.

"Oh my God." Olivia mumbled as she and Elliot rushed to the bathroom, she showed him to the upstairs one so they wouldn't be overheard.

"What is she doing?" Elliot asked once the bathroom door was shut.

"I don't know but Cragen can't find out like this!" Olivia sighed.

"I know, what are we going to do?" Elliot asked holding onto Olivia's arms as her hand covered half her face whilst she thought.

"I don't know El but he's going to freak out if he finds something out." Olivia groaned.

"We just have to go down there and if she asks anything that insinuates anything more than a friendship we have to reply, it's rude and she will comment on it but we have to do it." Olivia decided.

"Ok come on." Elliot smiled and he kissed her on the cheek before unlocking the door.

Meanwhile in the dining room Cragen and Mrs Jeffries were talking about the detectives.

"They're very close, they have a relationship like I've never seen before Anne, they finish each other's sentences and they know each other's next move without a word." Cragen replied innocently, not understanding what Mrs Jeffries was insinuating.

"So they are close. That's good, I'm sure they have a very special relationship then?"

Olivia and Elliot walked back into the room and apologised as they took their seats.

"No problem, Don was just telling me how special your relationship with each other is." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

Elliot and Olivia's eyes met again as their hearts hammered inside their chests.

"Yes, it is a special partnership. They're closer than many married couples." Cragen replied.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. I'm very fond of both of them, especially Olivia and I wouldn't like to worry that someone hasn't... what's the term ... 'got her back' when she's working." Mrs Jeffries replied.

"Yes, there's no need to worry about that at all Anne, Elliot has definitely got her back when they're out in the field." Cragen replied still oblivious to what the other three was thinking.

"I'm glad, it's nice that they're living together too." Mrs Jeffries added and Olivia almost choked on her wine. They'd only told Cragen he was staying for a while.

"Living together?" Cragen asked looking from Elliot to Olivia who was trying to cough quietly.

Everyone was silent, Cragen and Mrs Jeffries was looking from Elliot to Olivia whose brains were trying to come up with an answer.

"Yeah, sorry Captain it must have slipped our minds to tell you. Elliot and I agree that it's far easier to continue living together. He couldn't afford the house he had and I own mine outright and I have the room to accommodate him and the children. He helps with paying the bills as a way of paying rent." Olivia explained.

"Olivia offered and it was an offer I couldn't refuse, it's easier to come in when we get called to a scene at three am and I don't have to worry about putting a roof over my children's head two weeks out of every month." Elliot added both of them desperate to fix the mess Mrs Jeffries was making for them.

"Right. Why didn't you tell me that this was more permanent?" Cragen asked visibly annoyed with the two of them.

"We just forgot Pops honestly, he has his own room and I have mine. He has his own keys and he gets do as he pleases, it's his home too. There's nothing wrong with house sharing." Olivia replied feeling hurt seeing Cragen's eyes lit with disappointment.

"And am I right to believe that is all there is between you? Friends sharing a house?" Cragen asked.

"Yes." Olivia replied and she felt Mrs Jeffries eyes burning in the side of her head.

"Olivia, my dear, could you come with me for a second?" Mrs Jeffries asked getting to her feet.

"Of course." Olivia sighed getting to her feet too.

"Excuse us." Mrs Jeffries said and Olivia followed her into the living room.

"Olivia, why did you just lie to your superior?" Mrs Jeffries asked closing the living room door.

"Mom it's not as simple as you make it out to be. At the moment, yes, we have talked about taking our relationship further but there's more to it than that. I am still grieving for Cole and fighting off the constant feeling of guilt I have and I am grateful for your blessing but it's going to take time for me to get past this and secondly in the NYPD partners cannot have a sexual relationship so if me and Elliot go there we have to keep it extremely quiet." Olivia explained. "Cragen cannot find out that there is anything more than house sharing between me and Elliot, please Mom I know you don't like lying but it's necessary, I don't want to lose my partner too." Tears stung Olivia's eyes as she ended.

Mrs Jeffries sat down on the couch and tapped the space beside her for Olivia too take. She took Olivia took it and Mrs Jeffries grabbed her hand and pulled it into her lap.

"Now I understand Olivia, I'm glad you explained to me. I won't lie if Don asks me outright and you can't expect me too however I will do my very best to save this situation. As for the guilt Olivia, you will get past that eventually and I'm not telling you to jump feet first into a relationship with Elliot because I know that you can't but don't make the same mistake as I did by turning away a chance at happiness because of your grief, now where is this relationship with you and Elliot at?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Thank you and he's taking me on a date on Wednesday and we're going to see where it goes from there. I won't turn down a chance at happiness Mom and your blessing means everything to me." Olivia explained.

"Good, now let's go back in there and save this relationship and partnership." Mrs Jeffries smiled wiping a free tear from Olivia's cheek.

When they arrived back in the dining room Elliot and Cragen were extremely quiet having decided it was unfair to discuss any further without Olivia present.

"Now do the two of you want to tell me where this relationship is at?" Cragen asked as the table was cleared for dessert.

"There's nothing more than friendship Cap." Olivia replied.

"Olivia's right, we didn't tell you about the permanent house sharing because we forgot not because we were hiding it from you." Elliot replied.

"Now that's settled as we have dessert why don't we talk about something lighter?" Mrs Jeffries replied and Olivia and Elliot smiled at her gratefully.

The dessert was served and Olivia and Elliot shared a glance at each other happily and the rest of the lunch passed without incident.

****

**Benson Household, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 13th 2008**

**11.32 pm**

"Could that lunch have been anymore awkward?" Olivia replied as she and Elliot climbed into bed.

"I know, I love your mother in law though, she just kept stepping into it." Elliot sniggered lightly.

"It's not funny Elliot, she could have had us spilt up. I think I made her feel guilty for it when she took me to the living room though." She sighed as she cuddled up into his chest.

"Why's that?" He asked as he stroked her hair.

"Told her she could cost us our partnership and I kinda told her not to make me lose that as well. Talk about playing the guilt card." Olivia sighed.

"But it's true Liv, she could have cost us our partnership when we're only just starting out. Let's just take it one day at a time and see where it goes yeah?" Elliot explained and he gave her a light squeeze.

"I love you El." She smiled.

"I love you too. Now get some sleep." He smiled and he turned off the lamp and they both drifted off to sleep.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 14th 2008**

**9.25 am**

"You two!" Cragen called as the two detectives walked into the bullpen. "You're late." He sighed.

"Sorry, we should have called, but Dani's sick so we took the kids to school and to go to Queens and then to Melly's school and then here in the morning rush hour isn't easy!" Olivia replied.

"Ok well Fin has a lead on a cold case and he and Munch are working on it now. Elliot start looking through these files and running them through the system see if you can get something new and Olivia see Huang this morning whilst you're free." Cragen explained before rushing into his office away from the two detectives.

"Well I guess I'll see Huang then." Olivia sighed and without even taking off her coat and putting away her purse she climbed the stairs.

Elliot watched her go a small smile on his face as he went to his desk and opened the file.

Olivia smiled gently at Huang as she sat down on the couch making herself comfortable before starting the conversation.

"How are you this morning Olivia?" He asked gently.

"Fine." Olivia smiled unsure what else to say.

"Ok, I heard you went to your Cole's Mother's for Lunch yesterday. How did that go?" Huang asked.

"Ha! " Olivia laughed remembering back. "Goodness me now you're asking something!"

"I'm guessing it was eventful then?" Huang smiled gently.

"Eventful is probably not the word I'd use but it was interesting." Olivia shrugged.

"What made it interesting?" Huang asked.

"Well my mother-in-law first began talking about my job, it's not exactly something to be discussed in front of the kids and over Sunday lunch. So that alone was uncomfortable." Olivia explained.

"Ok is that all you talked about?" Huang asked intrigued.

"No, Mom was very interested to know about my relationship with Elliot, she told Cragen we'd decided to live together full time which he wasn't too pleased to hear about." Olivia sighed, he hadn't been impressed to learn they're decision.

"Ok and what is your relationship with Elliot?" Huang asked and Olivia clicked, she knew why Cragen wanted her to see Huang this morning and not this afternoon, she wasn't stupid.

"We're best friends who share a house and a nanny that is all." Olivia replied gently acting like the puzzle in her head hadn't just clicked into place.

"Ok, so your just best friends who live together, is that the truth?" Huang asked knowing the detectives well and knowing when they were lying.

"Yes." Olivia replied trying to keep just as calm and steady making sure her voice didn't change pitch in anyway. "It's the truth."

"Ok. Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Huang asked.

"Nope, I'm talking more with Elliot like you suggested, I tell him what's bothering me and don't hide away." Olivia replied honestly. "I haven't been better."

"Good, why don't you head off then and I'll write this up then see Cragen." Huang smiled.

Olivia nodded and left. She wasn't about to sit in her chair and act like nothing happened though, she went straight to Cragen's office and knocked lightly on the door and waited patiently for the 'Come in!' he called when he was in a good mood. Once inside she shut the door and sat down, trying to keep her temper at bay as she confronted the man she considered to be a father.

"Do you trust me Cap?" Olivia asked bluntly.

"Yes, why are you asking?" He replied perplexed.

"Do you trust me just as a Detective or do trust me as a person too?" Olivia asked blatantly ignoring his question.

"Of course I trust you Olivia, as a person and as a Detective. I would like to know why you are asking though." He replied still as confused as ever.

"Next time you want to know about my relationship with Elliot, why don't you ask me instead of going to George Huang and have him ask me?" Olivia suggested, her voice low and almost threatening and not that Don Cragen would ever admit it, but he found her manner intimidating.

"Olivia I ..."

"I look at you as the only man ever to be like a father to me Captain, me and Elliot both said yesterday that our relationship extends no further than friendship and living together and I'd respect that you didn't pry any further, IF something became of a relationship between myself and Elliot I trust that you believe me when I say I'll tell you, until then please stop asking and interfering." Olivia was almost pleading.

"Ok, I'm sorry Olivia, I just had to know." He replied honestly.

"I respect that but it's too soon after Cole, for anyone, especially Elliot." Olivia whispered her voice almost breaking.

"I know, if anything does happen between you though Olivia, don't hesitate before coming to see me, I need to know if I am going to fight IAB to have you stay as partners." Cragen smiled softly.

Olivia got to her feet and walked around the back of the desk. Once behind Cragen she wrapped her hands around his neck in an embrace.

"I knew you'd understand if I talked to you, now next time ask me things straight up and not get Huang to ask me because I'm more likely to be honest with you than I am him with things like this. I love you." She dropped a heavy kiss on the side of his head before rushing out of the room, but she heard him call.

"I love you too." He smiled, he wasn't even sure if she heard him before the door shut behind her.

Olivia went to her seat and picked up a file, she knew Elliot was smiling at her over the file in his hands and she without looking at him smiled back cheekily.

"How did it go with Huang?" Elliot asked his eyes averting back to the file in front of him.

"Well what can I say, I told him I'd listened to him and that I'm more open with you and we talk about yesterday and then he asked about us and I worked out that Cragen asked him to ask me, so I confronted Cragen who won't be doing that mistake again." Olivia explained as she began putting details of the cold case into the computer.

"Oh, what did you tell Cragen?" Elliot asked doing the same as Olivia.

"That he should trust me to tell him if there was anything between you and I and he said he needed to know if he was going to cover our asses with IAB." Olivia smiled and they both looked at each other, just one lingering gaze as they told each other it was ok to move on with their relationship.

"So Wednesday?" Elliot asked.

"Wednesday" Olivia replied.

****

**Chico's, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, July 16th 2008**

**6.14 pm**

Olivia and Elliot where shown to their seats and they both ordered a glass of wine. Elliot took Olivia's hand in his own across the table and she just smiled and kept wondering if she was dreaming.

"So do we tell Cragen we came here tonight?" Elliot asked as the server poured them their wine.

"We have too, I promised not to keep him in the dark about where our relationship was going." Olivia replied as she put her glass down gently on the table.

"Fair enough, as long as he doesn't kill me because of it." Elliot smiled a small laugh lingering in his breath.

"He won't Elliot, it's like he already knows, I don't think he'll be happy about it but he is just going to have to deal with it." Olivia replied gently as they separated hands to look at the menu.

Olivia ordered the poached chicken with salad and boiled potatoes and Elliot ordered the stake with fried potatoes. Once their menu's were gone he resumed holding her hand.

"So, what do you think Melly will make of us?" Elliot asked.

"Melly's too young to understand and she already knows we share a bed, she did wake us up the past three days." Olivia smiled.

"Good point, my kids are fine with it too, they always wondered why you and I didn't get together sooner and then I explained with Cole obviously that we couldn't, but I've been divorced two years and their mother has remarried so I guess they just want to see me happy." Elliot explained having told his kids the day before about this date.

"I'm glad their ok with it, I mean I couldn't do this if it hurt them in anyway." Olivia replied.

"Elliot?" Olivia spun around. "Olivia?"

Captain Cragen stood arm in arm with Mrs Jeffries and Olivia felt like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

"So much for telling me if something was going on Olivia." Cragen sighed and Olivia felt her heart sink at seeing the fatherly disappointment in his eyes.

"I was going to tell you tomorrow, after the date." Olivia explained getting to her feet so she could hug and kiss Mrs Jeffries.

"Now am I not pleased to see you two here?" Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"Nice to see you again Mrs Jeffries, Cap." Elliot said softly.

"Why don't we make this more fun and join tables, I have some influential friends here... just a moment!" Mrs Jeffries stalked off as Olivia and Cragen were about to object.

"Shit." Olivia mumbled under her breath as Elliot gently put his hand on her arm to soothe her.

"I really was planning on telling you about this tomorrow Cap, honest I was, I just thought if tonight ended badly then there would be no point, or we could have got a call that meant we had to cancel and I didn't want to jinx it." Olivia explained.

"I believe you, I just ... I hoped there would be nothing more than friendship." Cragen sighed.

Olivia couldn't look at him, the disappointment all over his face killed him.

"Right this way, they're going to hold back on your order Olivia until ours is ready." Mrs Jeffries smiled and they were shown to a new table. Olivia and Elliot held hands underneath and he gave it a light squeeze to show her it was ok. She looked at him, his blue eyes sparkling in the dim light.

"Ok, now Cap, you've asked about my relationship, does any of you care to tell me about yours? I mean considering that I refer to both of you as my parents?" Olivia quipped slight sarcasm coming through.

"Now Olivia my dear what have I told you about being sarcastic? Its common darling, don't do it." Mrs Jeffries said and Olivia had to really fix her gaze to stop herself rolling her eyes like a teenager.

"Well is someone going to tell me?" Olivia asked softer this time.

"We're two adults who have been lonely Olivia, we're just in need of companionship." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"Companionship?" Olivia asked holding back a snigger.

"Yes dear, that's what this is a companionship enjoying the company of each other isn't a crime detective or I'd be in cuffs right now." Mrs Jeffries quipped back and Olivia was very tempted to retort the comment she had made about sarcasm but bit her tongue, not wanting an argument with her mother in law over dinner.

After Mrs Jeffries and Cragen put in their order Mrs Jeffries once again took lead on the conversation.

"How are the children Elliot?" She asked and Olivia felt him shift beside her as she reached for her wine.

"They're very well thank you, they're a bit disappointed that they'll be going back to their mother's in a week and they thank you very much for lunch, they very much enjoyed themselves." Elliot replied and Olivia hid her laugh in her wine glass seeing how Elliot was trying to speak a little more upper class than what she was used to hearing from them.

"Olivia is there something funny dear?" Mrs Jeffries asked and Olivia gave a small cough.

"No Mom there isn't." She replied avoiding to look at Cragen as he laughed into his glass of water.

"Oh, I thought you were laughing. I'm sorry now how is Melissa?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Perfectly fine, I have her PTC tomorrow and I am dreading it but from what I gather it should be fine." Olivia replied also putting on more of an upper class manner.

"Good, I'm sure you'll be over for lunch again this week?" Mrs Jeffries asked. "I mean all three of you."

Olivia looked at Elliot, the kids were going back late Saturday evening so she knew they wouldn't be there.

"Of course." Elliot replied.

"And you Don?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"If I'm welcome too I'd very much like that." He replied both him and Olivia avoiding each other's gaze, he was still disappointed with her but she was starting to feel angry towards him.

"Then that's sorted and Tammy will be home this weekend too." Mrs Jeffries smiled as the food arrived.

Olivia and Elliot relaxed a little when they started eating. Both of them deciding to just be themselves so that the date wasn't completely lost.

"Elliot what is it with you and eating stake?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know, I think it's because I know I'll like it so it's safe." He replied. "Don't you like stake?" He asked.

"To be honest I've never tried it." She shrugged.

Elliot finished cutting up the piece holding his hand underneath the fork he fed her a piece. As her lips wrapped around it and the meat vanished into her mouth their eyes met and lingered for a few minutes, which didn't go unnoticed by Cragen or Mrs Jeffries.

"I see why you like it." Olivia replied after swallowing.

"And I don't know why you complain as you always have chicken, with everything." Elliot smiled.

Olivia did the same, cut a small piece and fed it to him and once again their eyes met but they smiled this time.

"I see why." He shrugged a gleam in his eye.

As dinner was cleared away and they were served more wine they peered over the dessert menu.

"I really don't think I could manage a full one." Olivia smiled.

"Neither do I, how about we share one?" Elliot suggested.

"Ok, you know what I like." Olivia smiled giving him the choice.

He did know what she liked and ordered the summer fruit Sundae.

When it arrived Olivia held onto the bottom of the glass and Elliot wrapped his hand around hers. She looked at him again their eyes meeting and everyone who saw could see the fireworks dancing between them. Olivia was too slow and Elliot scooped up a small piece of ice cream and fed it to her making her laugh.

"I have my own spoon El." She laughed as he did it a second time.

"I know but you eat ice cream so slow!" He replied and they'd both forgotten that they were being scrutinised by Cragen and Mrs Jeffries, they were too wrapped up in their own fun.

Elliot picked up the strawberry and placed it between his lips. Olivia laughed, she knew what he was doing and still forgetting that they were being watched she leaned over and her teeth wrapped onto the strawberry, their lips brushing together making them both smile and drop the strawberry, Elliot caught it as Olivia covered her mouth, half from laughing and half to hid the strawberry juice she was trying to swallow. She grabbed her serviette and wiped the corners of her mouth.

"That was romance going bad." Elliot laughed as she looked at him.

"It was cute." Olivia shrugged. "Note for next time don't laugh when you're holding a strawberry in your mouth.

"Don't laugh when you're holding a strawberry in your mouth." Elliot mocked moving closer to her.

She smiled and closed her eyes as their lips touched. It was a short kiss, like the ones you'd see on TV. When they pulled apart they smiled at each other.

"I love you Liv." Elliot smiled.

"I love you too El." She smiled.

"I'm going to the restroom excuse me." Cragen said getting to her feet and Olivia's heart sank.

She looked at Elliot desperately and he nodded and excused himself.

"Shit." Olivia muttered through gritted teeth.

"Olivia, don't use curse words in public." Mrs Jeffries said as she took Olivia's hand across the table.

"I just got caught in the moment, I completely forgot that you and Cragen where here!" Olivia sighed knowing he'd never forgive her.

"Give him time Olivia, it was a little bit of a shock for me too, how long have you known?" Mrs Jeffries asked her thumb stroking Olivia's hand.

"A few days. We talked and we told each other and we've kissed and this is our first date." Olivia explained.

"I told you he loved you and I knew you loved him too, give Don some time and he will understand." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"He's like a father to me and I hate it when he looks at me so ... so disappointed." Olivia sighed.

"Give him time." Mrs Jeffries smiled as Cragen and Elliot arrived back at the table.

"I'm hoping you both will stay for tea." Mrs Jeffries smiled looking from Elliot to Olivia.

Olivia looked at Elliot, because he was the one who'd talked to Cragen.

"Of course we will." Elliot smiled and Olivia nodded and smiled too, that could only mean the conversation had gone well.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leant in to her.

"Don't worry." He whispered before kissing her on the cheek.

She smiled, relieved that he had said that.

"Well tea for four it is then." Mrs Jeffries beamed.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, July 17th 2008**

**8.25 am**

"You wanted to see me?" Olivia asked going into the office.

"Shut the door Olivia." Cragen sighed.

****

**Uh oh, had to leave it there though because this chapter is already long!**

**Please Review!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, July 17th 2008**

**8.25 am**

"You wanted to see me?" Olivia asked going into the office.

"Shut the door Olivia." Cragen sighed.

Olivia couldn't hide how nervous she was. As she sat down her hands trembled expecting him to reprimand her for not only lying to him but for disappointing him.

"Oh Olivia." He sighed dropping his head into his hands.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered as tears filled her brown eyes.

"Don't be, I'm the one who's sorry. I reacted awfully but I was just surprised to hear you both say it out loud so comfortably to each other." He explained.

"I don't ..."

"I knew how you felt about each other, he was married and you fell in love with Cole and I thought it was never going to happen between the two of you. I know now that it was meant to be and honestly I'm not angry or disappointed it was just when he told you he loved you for the first time I expected it to be after a case or during a heated argument and I can tell that last night wasn't the first time he's said it. Am I right?" He looked at her, she just nodded as she was speechless.

"There we go, now keep it out of work and IAB doesn't have to know a thing." Cragen smiled.

"Thanks Cap, I'm sorry too." Olivia smiled softly as she got to her feet.

"Just be careful Liv." He explained and she nodded before walking out the door.

Olivia went back to her desk feeling relieved that she and Cragen were on the same page again. She had felt so guilty. Now, she could focus on other things, she had so much going through her mind and she felt like she had no one to confide in, she couldn't even turn to Elliot or Huang with the things that she was worrying about. A tear slipped down her cheek and before she'd even began to wipe it the floodgates open.

"Baby girl what's wrong?" Fin asked as he passed Olivia a tissue.

"I don't know, I really don't." She sighed as she wiped her cheeks.

"You can talk to me you know, if you want." Fin shrugged, he loved Olivia like a sister.

"Honest Fin, there's nothing wrong I don't know why I'm crying." Olivia sighed.

It was the truth. Sort of anyway. She wasn't sure why she was crying, yet she had plenty to cry about.

"Just chin up baby girl and if you need to talk I'm here." Fin smiled before going back to his own desk.

Olivia sighed, she felt so lost and empty even though things were looking up for her. She was sure the feeling would pass soon however, she as convinced of it.

"Olivia, go see Huang now instead of sitting there doing nothing." Cragen called from his office door.

She nodded and made for the stairs wondering if she should confide her fears in him, he was a psychiatrist but he was her friend too and she wasn't sure if she could confide in him, she knew that whatever she said could be used against her if it came down to it.

"Hi Liv." He smiled as she made herself comfortable on the couch.

"Hi George." She smiled weakly, she had no desire of making with small talk today.

"So how are you today Olivia?" Huang asked gently, he was probing her and she knew it.

"Great." She shrugged.

A sound from behind the office door had Olivia shifting uncomfortably, Huang watched her and scribbled something down on his notepad.

Olivia's left foot began to shake, she looked at it and then at Huang. She hadn't told the foot to move but when she told it to stop it did, briefly.

"Olivia?" Huang asked as tears prickled Olivia's eyes.

"I'm fine, honestly." She replied.

"Olivia, I'm going to ask you a few questions. Please answer them honestly ok?" Olivia just nodded in replied as she began chewing the nail of her thumb nervously.

"Have you had any breathing problems?" He asked.

"No." She replied honestly. "None that I've noticed anyway."

"Ok..." he replied as he scribbled down in his notepad. "How about your appetite, are you eating more or less than usual?"

"Less, I've no desire for food but I do force myself to eat something when I'm hungry." She replied honestly.

"Any memory loss?"

"Nope."

"How about sleep? Has your sleeping changed at all?"

"I wake up more during the night." Olivia was being as honest as she could with him even though she wasn't sure what he was doing.

"Have you been having any panic attacks?" He asked.

"No." She replied softly.

"Ok, how about fatigue? Are you feeling more tired than normal?" He asked her once he's finished scribbling in his notepad.

"Yes, I am fatigued but I'm a single Mom working full time." She shrugged, she'd been very tired but she'd just brushed it off as overdoing things.

"Ok, any mood swings?"

"No! Goodness George where are you going with all these questions?" She yelled.

"No mood swings?" He asked her again and she sighed.

"I guess I have then." She shrugged.

"Ok physically, have there been any changes in your body? Have you been getting your monthlies on time?"

Olivia's mouth went dry, what was he getting at? Her mind spun and her chest became tight.

"Ok Olivia, just breathe slowly..." He knelt down in front of her and allowed her to grasp his shoulder as she fought for air.

"I can't ..." She gasped.

"Shh, say nothing Olivia just try and breathe." Huang replied as he tried to coax her into breathing normally.

It took nearly ten minutes for Huang to get Olivia to calm down from her panic attack. She was sobbing now though and he didn't know how to stop that. She held her head in her hands as her body hiccupped with sobs.

"Liv?" He asked as she slowly calmed down.

"I'm fine." She whispered.

"You're not." He replied.

"I'm fine!" She hissed jumping to her feet.

She didn't look at him as she marched out of the room and back downstairs, she didn't want to talk to him anymore and she knew she was about to be sent home.

"Coffee?" Elliot smiled handing her the steaming hot mug.

"Thanks." She smiled hoping he wouldn't ask her what was wrong.

As she sat at her desk and sipped her coffee she watched as Huang slipped into Cragen's office. She sighed and wondered what he'd be telling her superior about her panic attack and her hysterical crying and was wondering why he asked her all the other irrelevant questions.

"George?" Cragen asked as the agent walked up to the desk with a severe look on his face.

"We have a problem." Huang sighed taking one of the empty chairs.

"Well?" Cragen asked his heart hammering inside his chest.

"Olivia, well, I think she's having a breakdown." Huang sighed.

"What a nervous breakdown?" Cragen asked in shock.

"Yes, she's got many of the numerous signs of one and I think she needs counselling and some time off." Huang explained.

"Ok, then that's what she's going to get. I'll organise someone outside the unit for her and then she can speak with them, I'll need to take her gun wont I?" He was feeling perplexed at the revelation.

"Yes, she could become suicidal so I'd take her off duty weapons too." Huang replied.

"Ok, go, I'll speak to her alone." Cragen sighed glancing at the picture of him and Olivia that sat proudly on his desk.

Huang nodded and left leaving Cragen in his own thoughts.

Olivia saw Huang leave Cragen's office and head straight back upstairs. She had no idea what he'd just told her superior but when she saw the Captain standing at his office door she knew it couldn't be good.

"Olivia, a word?" He asked.

Nodding she got to her feet and walked the few steps from her desk to the captain's office. She couldn't deny the nervous feeling that was growing in the pit of her stomach as she took one of the empty chairs.

Cragen sat down opposite Olivia and let out a shaky breath.

"Olivia, Huang raised some concerns with me." He explained shakily.

"And what would those concerns be?" She asked trying to act unfazed.

"He's concerned that you may be having a breakdown." Cragen replied honestly.

"Ok." Olivia nodded before fixing her gaze in her lap.

Ok? She'd only answered ok which told Cragen that she knew anyway, she'd already suspected that there was something more wrong.

"I need you to hand over your gun and go on sick." He told her.

"Fine." She replied pulling the gun from her belt and standing up just to place it on the desk before taking back the seat.

"I've arranged for you to meet Doctor Elizabeth Stewart, she doesn't work for the NYPD as I don't want it going on record, don't worry though I'm covering the cost so it doesn't come up on your medical insurance either." Cragen explained.

"Thank you." Olivia replied.

"I want you to also have your off duty weapons ready for collection later this evening." Cragen added gently.

"Doesn't that go against my second amendment right to bare arms?" She asked him.

"It does, but I'm concerned for you and my granddaughter, that is all." Cragen replied honestly.

"Fine." She shrugged not in the mood to argue.

"Ok, well your first appointment with Doctor Stewart is at eleven so why don't you head off?" Cragen suggested handing her a piece of paper with all the address of the doctor.

"Fine, how long am I off?" She sighed making eye contact with her Captain.

"Until the doctor clears you for work." He replied.

"No problem." She shrugged and without another word she left the office to collect her belonging and leave, feeling relieved that Elliot wasn't around to witness her departure.

****

**Doctor Stewarts Office, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, July 17th 2008**

**10.58 am**

Olivia sat on one of the waiting room chairs her legs shaking with anxiety. She had always hated anyone involved in the medical profession and anything to do with the medical profession and this office was no different. Her anxiety level was at a peak and she was focusing on keeping her breathing regulated in the hope that none of her worries could surface while she was focusing on something else.

"Olivia Benson?" A woman asked from the door way.

"That's me." Olivia replied getting her feet shakily.

"Right this way." The woman smiled.

Olivia nodded and followed the woman through the door, they entered a large room that had a desk and chair on one side and a couch and arm chair on the other. The woman who Olivia guessed was Doctor Stewart opted for the arm chair and signalled the couch to Olivia. Nervously, she sat down wondering how this session would pan out.

"How are you Olivia?" She asked softly.

"Fine thanks." Olivia replied her hands gripping the couch beside her knees.

"Ok, so you know why you're here?" Doctor Stewart asked her gentle blue eyes probing in the same way Olivia had seen Huang do so many times.

"Absolutely." Olivia sighed.

"Good." Doctor Stewart ran a hand through her short brown hair. She took a notebook and pen from the small table beside the chair and placed it on her lap before sitting back and smiling at Olivia, making her feel exposed and uncomfortable.

"Why don't we start with you telling me a little about yourself and home and work?" Doctor Stewart suggested.

"There's not much to say, I'm a single Mom of one daughter, I have a live in nanny and I also live with my boyfriend, his four kids come and stay two weeks out of the month as the terms of his custody agreement with his ex wife." Olivia explained. "I work for the NYPD, I'm a detective in Manhattan's special victims unit, my job's hard and require a lot of skill and the things we see almost daily is not pretty but I still enjoy my job."

"Ok so tell me a little bit about your daughter." Doctor Stewart asked.

"Her name's Melissa, she's five." Olivia shrugged not sure what else to tell the woman.

"Ok, Don Cragen mentioned something about a fiancé and a son?" Doctor Stewart was on a fishing expedition and Olivia wasn't sure if she wanted to be caught hook, line and sinker.

"Yes, my fiancé Cole and my son Michael, Melissa's twin, they both died." Olivia explained not wanting to talk about them, it was still an open wound.

"How long where you with Cole?" Doctor Stewart asked.

"A year and a half, we were engaged just before he was killed." Olivia explained.

"Ok so he wasn't your children's biological parent?" Doctor Stewart continued and Olivia realised that this woman was really starting from scratch with her.

"No, and I'm not their biological mother, Cole and I adopted them back in June." Olivia explained shakily.

"Ok, why don't you tell me a little bit more about adopting them?" Doctor Stewart suggested.

Olivia sighed, it was easy with Huang because he already knew this stuff.

"Cole and I were called in to work a case..."

"So he was a detective too?" She interrupted.

"Yes Missing Persons, it was our day off my captain needed me and suggested I drag Cole along." Olivia explained.

"Right, go on..." Doctor Stewart smiled as she scribbled on her notepad.

"Mikey and Melly were kidnapped from their beds and their parents had been murdered. When we found them we took them back to the precinct and child protective services were called. Then when it was time for them to go they didn't want to and Cole suggested they could stay with us and I had no objections, their aunt should have been coming to get them from California but she changed her mind and we said they could stay with us and then we moved in together and legally adopted them." Olivia explained as quickly as she could.

"So they were kids that you'd rescued?"

"Yes." Olivia replied.

"Ok so how long ago did you adopt them?"

"About a month ago now." Olivia replied.

"How long ago did Michael die Olivia?"

"Around three weeks ago." Olivia answered her voice quivering.

"Was he sick when you adopted him?"

"Yes, he died about a week later." Olivia explained. "There was a rush on the adoption because he was dying."

"Right, so you're still taking care of Melissa?"

"Yes, she's my daughter of course I'm still taking care of her." Olivia spat, she hated it when people approached the subject of her relationship with Melissa.

"Ok, so your relationship with your daughter hasn't changed since your son or your fiancé died?"

"Yes, we're even closer now because we only have each other." Olivia answered honestly.

"Good, ok, so Don Cragen explained you'd been seeing Doctor Huang is that right?"

"Yes."

"And why aren't you seeing him?"

"Because he thinks I'm having a breakdown and Cragen wants any treatment off record." Olivia explained honestly.

"Ok, do you think your having a breakdown?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised." Olivia shrugged as she knew she needed to be honest with Doctor Stewart if she was going to get anywhere with this.

"That's ok, have you got anything really playing on your mind that might give off symptoms of a breakdown?"

"Maybe." Olivia shrugged playing with the sleeve of her cardigan absentmindedly.

"What is it Olivia?" Doctor Stewart asked leaning forward her eyes narrowing with questions.

Olivia dropped her head, she'd told no one what had been going on. She was about to tell Cole then Mickey and Melly came and then Michael had gotten sick and then he died and she still couldn't face her biggest fear of all. When she had gotten engaged she had realised it was the right time to tell Cole but then he was killed before she could tell him. Now with everything that she had going on with Elliot it never seemed like the right time to tell anyone. She hadn't been ready to face what was her biggest fear but now she knew, now she knew it was time to face it and be ready to deal with it.

"I'm Pregnant." Olivia replied shakily.

Suddenly she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, now that she'd told someone, anyone, she felt a little bit lighter.

"That would explained why George Huang thought you were having a nervous breakdown, are you one hundred percent sure?" Doctor Stewart asked she had seen the difference in Olivia's posture from her revelation.

"I haven't seen anyone about it if that's what you mean but I did ten stick tests and they were all positive." Olivia replied.

"Well you need to see an OBGYN, who's the father Olivia, is it the new boyfriend?"

"No, I haven't slept with Elliot and I've missed three of my monthlies, this baby Cole's." Olivia explained.

"How does that make you feel?"

"I don't know, I don't even know what I'm going to do yet, I can't tell anyone about it." Olivia explained her bottom lip quivering as she blinked back unshed tears.

"Why can't you tell anyone Olivia?" Doctor Stewart's voice had become softer, the same way Olivia's did when she spoke with victims.

"My boyfriend is Catholic and doesn't believe in abortion, my Captain, the man I consider to be a father is dating my dead fiancé's mother. There's no one I can ask for help or advice on this." Olivia explained her heart breaking as she said all her thoughts out loud.

"Do you have any idea what you want to do? Tell me what's been going through your mind on this Olivia."

"Well... I don't know, I want to keep it I really do but I'm scared Elliot won't want to raise another man's child with me. It's not just any other man either it's the man I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with until his life was cut short. Then I can't have an abortion because I think it would actually kill me to lose three things so precious, losing my unborn child would be like losing Michael all over again and I don't think I could ever do that and I couldn't lie to Elliot about it. And adoption is out of the question, how could I give my baby to someone else to raise especially seeing as my daughter was adopted. I mean I haven't exactly got many options have I?" Olivia sighed and wiped away at the tears running a marathon down her cheeks.

"You already told me what you want to do Olivia... you said you wanted to keep it and what's keeping you from making that decision is your boyfriend, what's so important about his role in your life Olivia?"

"He's not just my boyfriend, he already lives with me, he's also my best friend, my other half, he's my work partner. I wouldn't be half the detective I am without Elliot." She explained as more tears ran down her face.

"Do you think he would run away should he find out you're having Cole's child?"

"I think he'd want to stick by my side and raise it with me but that's what scares me the most, what happens when the baby is born and has caramel skin and dark eyes? Baby is going to know that Elliot isn't the biological father, Elliot has bright blue eyes and pale white skin but both me and Cole had caramel coloured skin." Olivia explained honestly.

"Do you think the baby will care?"

"I don't know but I will, I want Cole's baby to know what a hero his or her father was, but I couldn't do that to Elliot." Olivia could slowly feel her shoulders getting lighter the more she was talking her thoughts out.

"I think what you need is the confidence to sit down and talk to Elliot, why don't you tell me a bit about him?"

Olivia took a deep breath as she wondered where to begin telling the doctor about Elliot.

"He's ... I don't know Elliot is one of a kind, we've been partners for eight years now, he's kind, caring, thoughtful, he's got a temper when it comes to perps and he's gentle when it comes to victims. He was married at eighteen out of convenience as his ex wife was having a baby. They divorced about seven months ago. I always loved him you know but I thought he was going to be married forever so I moved on and fell in love with Cole, now he's divorce and Cole's gone it makes sense that we get together, I do love him, more than words could ever describe and I think he loves me too, he says he does. Elliot's perfect in every sense of the word. There's not much else I can say." Olivia shrugged and she looked at the doctor to see she was smiling. "What?" Olivia asked suddenly self conscious.

"You obviously adore him Olivia, you should talk to him, sit him down and tell him about the baby and about your fears, if he chooses to run away then he wasn't the man you thought he was but if he is that man, he's going to respect your decision and your choice on the matter." Doctor Stuart explained the smile fixed on her face.

"I... I can't." Olivia sighed as tears stung her eyes again.

"What's scaring you so much Olivia?" Doctor Stuart's eyes thinned as she stared at Olivia, trying to read her, see something that would give everything away.

"I don't know, there's so much to think about and I can't ... I just can't!" Olivia sobbed, she placed her head in her hands.

Doctor Stewart said nothing while Olivia cried, she waited patiently for the sobbing to subside and once they had she continued with her speech.

"Tell me what you're thinking Olivia, tell me what you have been thinking that's making you so scared."

"There's more than wondering if I want to keep it or not, I've always been scared of motherhood, always, but with Melly it's different she's ..." Olivia sighed as she tried to focus on one of the many things rushing through her mind. "... Melly's not biologically mine, I love her with every ounce of my being and I love her unconditionally that much I'm sure of but I am scared I won't love my baby like that. I don't know what the genes are I'm passing down from my father's side and quite frankly I don't want to know. I'm worried that maybe I'll end up loving Melly less or abandoning her for this baby, not intentionally of course but accidentally. I'm worried Melly will reject me if I have another baby too, I don't know what to do and these thoughts just come into my mind every time I think about this baby." Olivia was blinking back fresh tears when she finished.

"Olivia, these are what people would consider rational fears, they make sense. First you're worried about Melly, you said she's five, she's young and she won't reject a brother or sister and that I am sure about. You won't reject Melly either, that I'm certain of too. Then you're worried about the genes you pass on, well I'm a fan of nurture over nature which mean's your baby will turn out the way it does because of the way you bring the baby up not what genes it's given. The fear of not loving your baby is natural too, and I can't promise you that you will love your baby straight away but the way you're worrying about not loving it tells me you already do, subconsciously that is. Worrying about someone is a sign that you love that person, all these fears and worries you have for this baby are a sign of love for it. I think you will be just fine Olivia." Doctor Stewart explained and Olivia gave her a weak smile.

"I think you're right." Olivia replied. "I think I do love my baby and I hope Elliot will be able to stand by me too and if he can't then I'll deal with that when the time comes but until I tell him I can't know for sure."

"Then go Olivia, go and tell Elliot and see what he has to say but I can honestly say that I don't think you have anything to worry about." Doctor Stewart smiled.

"I will, thank you, and could you call Don Cragen and tell him I'm not having a breakdown?" Olivia smiled as she got to her feet.

"I will."

"Thank you." Olivia smiled before heading for the door.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, July 17th 2008**

**12.21 pm**

Arriving at the 1-6 she rushed past everyone. She didn't even stop to say hi to Fin or Munch. She grabbed Elliot's hand and dragged him to the upstairs lounge.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on with you?" Elliot asked as she sat him down.

"Yes, there's something I need to tell you Elliot and then I'm guessing you're going to need to do some thinking afterwards but I just want you to know I'm ok with that." Olivia explained as she clutched his hand in her shaking ones.

"Ok, tell me what it is then I can tell you if I need to think." Elliot suggested and he could tell whatever it was, was going to be hard for Olivia to say out loud to him.

"Elliot ..." She closed her eyes and put her head down, not wanting to see his reaction. "Elliot I'm pregnant."

There was just silence and Olivia slowly lifted her head to look at Elliot. He was smiling like a Cheshire cat which she guessed could only be good.

"Oh My God Olivia!" He wrapped her in his arms and she rubbed her cheek against him.

"You're ok?" She asked.

"Ok, I'm delighted, I mean I know it isn't mine, obviously but if you're scared I'll run off you're wrong, this baby is a part of you!" He explained.

"Yes El it is but it's also a part of Cole's I mean I want the baby to know that."

"Of course the baby will know that Cole is his biological father but I hope you'll allow me to be a step dad. I want to be there for you and this child." He rested his hand on her stomach, she was already starting to show and had been opting for her looser jumpers to try and hide the tiny bump that could be passed off as fat.

"I want you to be there to El, for both of us." Olivia smiled pressing her hand onto his.

"I love you Liv so much and I'm not going anywhere." Elliot smiled and he pressed his lips to hers.

She accepted the kiss, opening her mouth in reaction to his. It was deep, meaningful and passionate. When they broke for air they heard a shuffle and found Cragen stood looking at them.

"Something you want to tell me Olivia?" He asked nodding his head towards where Elliot and her hand were resting.

"Shit." Olivia muttered. "Want to sit down?" Olivia asked and he took the arm chair and looked at her, waiting. "I'm pregnant, it's definitely Cole's because Elliot and I haven't slept with each other and I didn't cheat on Cole." Olivia explained. "Ready to be a granddad again?"

"Am I ready to... Olivia this is fantastic! Come here!" He smiled and pulled her into a fierce embrace.

"I'm guessing you're not mad."

"Mad? I'm delighted Olivia." He replied as her held her as tight as he could.

"Good I'm glad." She beamed. "Very glad."

"Maybe there's someone else you should go and tell though Olivia." Cragen smiled.

"Who?" Olivia asked confused.

"Anne? Mom? Cole's mom."

"I know, I'll go now ... can Elliot come with me?" Olivia asked.

"Of course. Go on."

"Wait, I need to tell Munch and Fin too, while I'm here might as well do it now and then might help me muster up the courage to tell Mom." Olivia smiled clutching Elliot's hand even tighter.

"Go and tell them then Olivia." Cragen smiled and he followed the couple down to the bullpen.

"Well it's about time!" Fin smiled seeing Olivia and Elliot grinning and walking towards him and Munch hand in hand.

"Telling me!" Munch scoffed.

"There's more." Olivia explained as she looked at two men she counted as her brothers.

"Then spit it out!" Munch chortled.

"I'm pregnant, it's Cole's, yes I'm sure but Elliot has chosen to stand by me." Olivia explained quickly.

"Congratulations!" Fin smiled pulling her into a fierce embrace.

"Congratulations Olivia and Elliot." Munch smiled as he had his turn embracing Olivia before shaking Elliot's hand.

"Now I best go and tell my Mom that she's about to become a grandma again, biologically this time." Olivia smiled.

"Tell Anne I said hi." Cragen smiled as the two detective's headed for the exit.

****

**Jeffries residency, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, July 17th 2008**

**3.14 pm**

"Ms Benson, Mr Stabler come in." The butler smiled as he opened the door.

"Thanks Charles, where can we find Mrs Jeffries?" Olivia asked her hand shaking in Elliot's.

"Right this way Ma'am." He drooled and Olivia smiled and nodded as she followed the butler.

"Ms Benson and Mr Stabler here to see you Ma'am." Charles smiled entering the study, making Olivia and Elliot wait in the corridor.

"Oh good, tell Eliza to put on some more tea." Mrs Jeffries smiled as she stood up.

Charles moved out of the way to let Olivia and Elliot in.

"Olivia darling." Mrs Jeffries smiled extending her arms out.

"Mom!" Olivia smiled leaning in and kissing Mrs Jeffries cheek.

She stepped out of the way so Mrs Jeffries could greet Elliot and they waited for Mrs Jeffries to sit before they did. Olivia's hand slipped into Elliot's which made Mrs Jeffries beam at them.

"Mom, Umm, I've got something I need to tell you..." Olivia's voice shook as she had no idea how Mrs Jeffries was going to react.

"Go on." She smiled.

"Umm, well, I'm pregnant and it's definitely Cole's." Olivia explained shakily.

"Olivia! That's fantastic news sweetie!" Mrs Jeffries grinned jumping to her feet.

Olivia stood up and welcomed her embrace.

"I'm going to be a granny again!" She laughed.

"Yep!" Olivia smiled happy that she'd taken it well.

"I'm guessing Elliot has decided to stand by you seeing as he's here?" Mrs Jeffries smiled as she resumed her seat.

"Yeah." He replied. "I'm going to be there every step of the way." He pressed Olivia's hand to his lips.

"Good so my grandbaby will have a father figure. I'm pleased, oh so pleased and happy!" Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"I'm happy too." Olivia smiled leaning her head on Elliot's shoulder as Eliza came in with the tea.

"Now, let's talk about this more over tea." Mrs Jeffries beamed.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, July 17th 2008**

**4.56 pm**

"I'm guessing Anne took it well?" Cragen asked as Olivia and Elliot arrived back.

"Yeah she did and she told me to tell you to call her." Olivia smiled. "She wants to talk to you about your grandbaby." Olivia laughed softly as she rubbed her hand over her tiny stomach.

"Ok, I will." Cragen smiled.

"And do you mind if Elliot and I are late tomorrow, I've called and made an appointment with an OBGYN." Olivia explained.

"No problem, we've still not got a new case so you should be fine." Cragen smiled.

"Brilliant thank you." Olivia beamed and she wrapped him up in a hug. "Why was I even wondering how to take this news Cap, it's a small light in what's been a very dark tunnel."

"It's a very bright light, now why don't the two of you head home and tell the kids?" Cragen suggested.

"We will thanks." Olivia smiled as Elliot clutched her hand and skipped off.

All Cragen could do was watch as a tear slipped down his cheek.

"I can't believe Baby girl's gonna be a mom!" Fin smiled sitting back in his seat and placing his hands behind his head.

"I know." Cragen smiled.

"I can't believe Elliot's bringing it up with her, I mean we all knew he liked her but when she got with Cole she seemed to move on from him, how long they been together? Seems fast." Fin added.

"Few days, they were on a double date with me on Wednesday." Cragen replied.

"Double date? Who were you with Cap?" Fin asked shocked at Cragen's revelation.

"Cole's mother." He replied not trying to hide it.

"Wow!" Munch laughed. "What's going on Cap? Got yourself a girlfriend?"

"Seems like I have, Anne is a very wonderful woman and we get on very well." Cragen smiled.

"Hmm, the woman you're dating is the woman Baby Girl calls Mom and she calls you Pops, seems right somehow." Fin smiled.

"It seems like everything is falling in place Fin." Cragen smiled shaking his head and laughing a little.

"Goodness me what is going on in this place, Olivia's going out with Elliot, Olivia's having a baby and it's not Elliot's but her dead fiancé's, Cragen's dating and the woman he's dating is Olivia's dead fiancé's mother? I'm confused." Munch sighed.

"You've got it in one Munch, don't try and think over it much or it will confuse the hell out of you." Cragen laughed taking the seat beside Fin's desk.

"Wow Baby Girl a mom." Fin whistled.

"Get over it already." Munch laughed.

"I can't man this is big shit!" Fin explained.

****

**Well what dya think? I've written a couple of ways of getting here and this is the one I decided on.**

**Please Review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Ok so last upload for now!**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 18th 2008**

**9.30 am**

"Olivia Benson?" A nurse called.

"That's me." Olivia smiled getting to her feet and clutching onto Elliot's hand for dear life.

"Just this way." The nurse smiled and she showed them to the doctor's room.

The nurse took them inside and sat them down and they waited patiently for the doctor, both of them nervous, Olivia almost terrified .

"Hi, I'm Doctor Whitney." A young brown haired woman smiled coming into the room.

"Hi, Olivia Benson, my partner Elliot Stabler." She smiled.

"Partner?" Elliot scoffed.

"Bad habit. Boyfriend, we're detectives and he's my partner." Olivia explained quickly her nerves shinning through.

"Right, I'm with you. Now pregnant, you haven't seen anyone to confirm?" Doctor Whitney asked as she sat opposite the couple.

"Nope." Olivia shrugged.

"How far along do you suspect you are?" Doctor Whitney continued.

"Well I've missed three periods." Olivia replied shakily.

"Ok so around three months, why don't you hop onto the couch and roll up your top and we can have a look." Doctor Whitney smiled.

"Ok." Olivia nodded and she followed the instructions, her breath shaking with nerves.

Elliot took her hand and stroked the side of her head trying to calm her down a little.

"This will be a little cold!" Doctor Whitney smiled as she grabbed the gel to put on Olivia's stomach.

Olivia giggled and squirmed as the gel was deposited onto her bare stomach. The ultrasound machine was switched on and Olivia held Elliot's hand tight as the pad was pressed to her stomach.

"Just trying to get a clear picture." Doctor Whitney explained as she rolled the pad around Olivia's stomach. "Ah here we are Olivia."

Olivia looked at the screen, Doctor Whitney pointed at a small blob and turned to the couple.

"That would be your baby's head." She explained.

"Wow." Olivia gasped as a tear trickled down her cheek.

Elliot had tears in his eyes too, seeing the baby in front of him made it feel even more real and he couldn't help but be a little bit scared of what the future would look like.

"I'd say you're around fourteen to fifteen weeks along, how you didn't know for so long, I mean you're already showing." Doctor Whitney smiled.

Olivia let out a little chuckle, she'd known for at least a while but it didn't matter, she hadn't been ready to face the pregnancy then but now, now she had Elliot she was ready for anything.

"Look El." Olivia smiled as more tears ran down her face.

"I know." He whispered. "Our baby."

"Yes." Olivia smiled turning to face him. "Our baby."

"Would you like me to print you some pictures?" Doctor Whitney asked.

"Yes, please." Olivia smiled.

"Ok, I'll print one for you and then take it to the front desk and you can buy additional copies." Doctor Whitney explained as she took a still of the picture in front of her.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled.

"Then I'll give you the info pack, you'll need to get a midwife and plan the birth and things but everything is in the information pack so you can take your time looking through everything." Doctor Whitney explained.

She handed Olivia the picture and said goodbye. Olivia went to the desk and ordered copies of the photo for everyone who'd mentioned that they would like one, and then she booked her next appointment before heading off.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 18th 2008**

**10.38 am**

Elliot and Olivia walked into the bullpen hand in hand with large smiles on their face. In Olivia's hand were copies of the ultrasound for all her friends, she couldn't hide the fact that she was now very excited.

"Baby girl!" Fin smiled giving her a peck on the cheek. "You're absolutely glowing!" He told her.

"Thanks Fin!" She beamed.

"So the appointment went well?" Munch asked as he embraced her.

"Yup! I have copies of the ultrasound." She smiled waving her hand.

"You have pictures of your unborn child?" Fin asked dumbly.

"I do and there's one for each of you, I want you all to be involved if you're going to be my baby's family." Olivia smiled as she handed them a copy.

Both men looked at the picture silently for a moment, slowly wide smiles grew on their faces.

"That would be the baby's head." Olivia explained pointing to the larger part of the white splodge.

"That's crazy." Munch shrugged as he stared smiling.

"Olivia?" Cragen smiled approaching them.

"Pops! I have one for you to!" She beamed handing him one of the white cardboard frames.

"That's beautiful, thank you Olivia." He smiled embracing her.

"You're welcome." She giggled excitedly.

"How far along are you?" He asked needing the information as her superior as much as wanting it as her surrogate father.

"Fourteen to fifteen weeks." She explained.

"What?" he asked completely gobsmacked.

"What?" She asked shocked at his reaction.

"Olivia, I'm no mathematical genius or know anything about pregnancy but even I know that means you're in your second trimester." Cragen replied.

"I know and I've just been very good at hiding it. Pops the truth is I wasn't ready to face it, I've known for a while and suspected for longer but it took that little extra kick to make me really face it. I'm ready now." Olivia explained her hand on her tiny bump.

"Good." Cragen smiled as tears gleamed in his eyes.

Olivia gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and made her way to her desk.

She whipped off her coat and placed it on the back of the chair before taking her own copy of the ultrasound and using the cover frame to make it stand. She stared at it smiling happily which didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the squad.

"Elliot, a word?" Cragen asked nodding his head towards the office.

Elliot just nodded and after giving one last glance at Olivia he followed his Captain.

Once the door was shut Cragen made his way around to the back of the desk and stood tall with his hands in his pockets.

"Well?" Elliot asked wondering what Cragen wanted to talk to him about.

"Are you really going to stick by her?" He asked instantly.

"Of course!" Elliot replied abruptly. "Why are you even asking?"

"That girl is the closest thing I've ever had to a daughter Elliot, I love her like my own flesh and blood and I will not stand by and watch you hurt her." Cragen explained.

"I'm not ..."

"Elliot I need to know if you are going to stand by her and bring up this child with her even if it isn't yours because she wouldn't be sat there smiling if you'd have walked away yesterday." Cragen told him firmly.

"I'm going nowhere Cap' I swear. That girl and that baby are my whole life now. I want nothing else." He replied firmly understanding his Captain's fears as he would be the same with his own daughters.

"You already left one wife and four kids Elliot." Cragen replied.

"For Liv!" He yelled. "I hoped that if I left Kathy she would leave Cole but she didn't but he died and now I have her do you really think I'm going to let her go!"

Everyone in the bullpen could hear, Fin and Munch looked at Olivia who had just heard every word and she knew exactly what was going on. She rushed out of her seat and dived as fast as she could into Cragen's office just as he was yelling back at Elliot.

"I just need to be sure Elliot she's been through enough!" He saw Olivia and stopped. "Olivia..."

"Don't." She whispered stopping him in his tracks. "I know what's going on."

"I just ..." Cragen began but Olivia shook her head stopping him.

"Please don't." She whispered her eyes filling up with tears. "Elliot's not going to leave me. I understand that you're scared and I'm scared too but he wants this baby as much as I do, it may not be his biologically but this is our baby, mine and Elliot's, and when the baby is old enough then I'll tell them about the great man who biologically is their father but Elliot ..." She slipped her hand into his and he dropped his head to her temple. "Elliot is gonna be the dad." She finished.

"I understand Olivia, I just don't want anything else to hurt you." Cragen explained.

"I know. I know that I understand that it's just you have to realise that I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself and I now love this baby more than life itself and this baby and Melly will get me through anything but now just be happy, happy that you're going to be a granddad ... happy that I'm finally happy." Olivia explained and Cragen nodded, too caught up with tears to trust his voice.

Olivia smiled gently and let go of Elliot before rushing around and embracing him.

"Sorry." He whispered as she held him close.

"Don't be sorry. I understand." She replied gently.

****

**Benson-Stabler household, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 18th 2008**

**6.30 pm**

Olivia and Elliot arrived home from the precinct still full of smiles, it had been a quiet day with no new case meaning they had been able to catch up with paperwork and talk about the baby and their other kids.

"Melly I'm home!" Olivia called as she hung up her coat.

Elliot and Olivia shared a look as Melly's footsteps hit the floor above them.

"Slow down!" Olivia laughed as Melly jumped down the stairs.

"Mommy!" She beamed rushing into Olivia's open arms.

Olivia scooped her up and showered her face with kisses making her laugh loudly.

"Did you have a good day Angel?" Olivia asked as she carried her daughter through to the kitchen.

"Yup!" Melly smiled as Olivia placed her to sit on the kitchen counter.

"What did you do today?" Olivia asked as she put the kettle on and started making herself and Elliot a coffee.

"Umm..." Melly thought a finger pressed to her chin and her head turned to show how hard she was thinking. "Oh yeah! I told Miss Josephine about my new baby brother or sister!"

"You did?" Olivia asked pretending to be shocked.

"Uh-huh!" Melly replied.

"What did Miss Josephine say?" Olivia asked acting as if she was fascinated by the conversation as she poured herself and Elliot a coffee, he'd gone upstairs to check on his kids.

"She said that Daddy was sending you a gift beyond the grave." Melly replied. "What does that mean?"

Olivia smiled at her daughter, she couldn't help but be happy with the innocence her five year old had. She'd seen plenty of kids her daughter's age that had no innocence left in them, and she was happy to be able to see a child who hadn't had everything snatched away from her, even though Melly had lost her biological parents and her brother as well as her adopted father.

"Well, it means that even though Daddy's gone, he left something behind like a part of him for us." Olivia replied hoping her daughter wouldn't ask awkward questions but of course her wish wasn't granted.

"How did Daddy leave it behind?" Melly asked scooping some blonde hair out of her face with her hand and shaking it back, just like Olivia did making her smile at her daughter.

"Well it's difficult to explain baby, but you'll understand when you're older." Olivia replied hoping the little girl would drop it.

"Ok." Melly replied accepting it as a satisfactory answer.

"Mommy has something to show you Mel." Olivia smiled lifting Melissa onto her hip and going back into the hallway.

She placed Melissa on the floor and dug through her purse till she found the ultrasound pictures.

"Come sit down." Olivia smiled taking Melly's hand and leading her through to the kitchen table.

Melissa climbed into one of the chairs while Olivia grabbed her coffee from the counter. She sat down beside Melissa and handed her the ultrasound picture.

"What is it?" Melissa asked turning the picture in her hands to get see if she could make it out.

"That is a picture of your little brother or sister inside Mommy's belly." Olivia explained pointing to the baby's head.

"Ohh!" Melly smiled. "That's the baby?"

Olivia nodded as Melly pointed to the same place she had seconds before.

"That's so cool!" Melly gasped.

"Isn't it? See that baby is in here." Olivia explained pointing to her belly.

"How long will it be in there for?" Melly asked a puzzled look on her face.

"A few more months because it's going to grow a bit first." Olivia replied. "Look Mommy's belly is already growing."

Olivia lifted up her top to show Melly the tiny bump she had on what was a perfectly toned stomach. Melly leaned over and placed her hand on Olivia's belly. Olivia smiled and covered Melly's hand with her own. They didn't see Elliot stood in the door way taking a photo of them on his iPhone. He grinned, what he was seeing in front of him filled his heart and he wanted that moment to last forever but as he moved to wipe a tear Olivia and Melly both turned to him.

"Spying on us Elliot?" Olivia asked as Melissa removed her hand so she could put down her top.

"Nope, just watching." He replied coming over to her with a smile.

He leant over her and kissed her lips. She started to sink into the kiss but suddenly remembering that Melly was watching pulled away with a smirk.

"Right smelly Melly what's Mummy making for your tea tonight?" Olivia laughed tickling Melly.

"Fish fingers!" Melly yelled happily.

"Fish fingers it is then!" Olivia laughed.

****

**Benson-Stabler household, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 18th 2008**

**9.56 pm**

Olivia's arms wrapped around Elliot's neck as he dropped light, fluffy kisses onto her lips. She kept trying to make the kisses deeper but he was having too much fun teasing her.

"El!" She groaned with a slight giggle.

"What?" He asked rubbing his nose against hers.

"Come on." She groaned as he continued dropping light kisses on her.

"Come on what?" He teased playfully.

"Kiss me!" She laughed.

"But I am!" He replied laughing.

"Kiss me properly!" She pleaded still laughing.

"What like this?" He asked before pulling her into his lips.

The kiss was deep. Olivia gained entry for her tongue into Elliot's mouth, she slid it along his tongue before withdrawing and nibbling on his bottom lip. He entered his tongue into her mouth and pulled it out flicking against the back of her teeth making her whimper with pleasure. She slid her tongue along his top lip gently before both their tongue's fought for dominance. Olivia pulled Elliot down so that she was lying on her back with him on top of her. He caressed her face with one hand as the other held him up from her body. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, the kiss still going. Olivia was about to initiate the next move when Elliot's phone rang.

"Stabler." He answered as Olivia stroke his chest with her finger. "No problem, no, we're on our way." Elliot hung up and looked at Olivia.

"Case?" She asked.

"Yup." He sighed.

"I'll go tell Dani." She sighed getting to her feet.

"By the way, we need to get that in house phone intercom thing on, it would save us all a lot of walking! This house is too big and with you pregnant you won't be able to run up and down stairs much longer.

"Oh shut up!" She laughed before heading out the door to let the Nanny know they had a case to go to.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, July 18th 2008**

**11.39 pm**

"What have we got?" Olivia asked walking into the bullpen with Elliot.

"Walk in, refused to talk to any man." Cragen replied.

"Ok, I'll talk to her." Olivia replied grabbing a notebook and pen off her desk.

Cragen and Elliot made their way to the two way of the interview room whilst Olivia made her way through the door.

"Oh thank God a woman." The young woman smiled gently the relief visible in her face.

"Hi, my name's Olivia." Olivia explained as she sat down.

"Mariah." She said nodding.

"Ok Mariah, do you want to begin by telling me what happened and when?" Olivia asked.

"It was a couple of days ago, my lecturer... well he Uh... he raped me." Mariah said her voice shaking a little but no tears.

"Ok Mariah, couple of days ago would that be Tuesday or Wednesday?" Olivia asked.

"Tuesday." She replied.

"Ok, where?" Olivia asked.

"His classroom after we had a seminar." Mariah explained.

"Ok which school?" Olivia asked as she scribbled.

"Hudson." Mariah replied.

"Ok, what's his name Mariah?" Olivia looked Mariah in the eyes and she could see them tearing up.

"Professor Nick Garrett." Mariah replied.

"Ok do you know what time this happened?" Olivia went on.

"It was the end of the seminar so... around... one thirty." Mariah replied wiping her tears and trying to regain herself.

"Ok... so can you tell me what happened?" Olivia asked softly, knowing this was going to be the toughest part of their conversation.

"I stayed behind to ask him about some assessment we have coming up and her he kept walking towards me and I crashed into the wall and then ... oh my God... he put his hands on my shoulders and ..." she subconsciously rubbed her bottom lip with her finger. "... he kissed me and tried to, shit, tried to shove his tongue in my mouth, then he uh, he uh, I was wearing a skirt and he shoved his hand, God, he uh, shoved his hand up my skirt and then started stroking me and ..." The girl shivered and closed her eyes a frown fixated on her brow. "Then he pulled at my panties and they tore off and then... Oh my God that's when he uh, that's when he raped me." Mariah still didn't cry and kept her eyes shut.

"Ok I know this is tough Mariah, but I need to know ok?" Olivia sighed and Mariah just nodded her eyes shut tight. "Did he only use his fingers? Or did he use his penis?" Olivia asked as softly as she possibly could.

"His penis...Oh my God. He uh, I was struggling but he put his arm into my throat and the more I struggled the more I couldn't breathe and then he, I heard him unzip his pants and then I, shit, uh, that's when he thrust into me." Mariah explained shakily.

"Ok Mariah, you did well ok, do you want a drink or anything?" Olivia asked.

"No, no I'm fine." Mariah shook her head.

"Right have you been to the hospital?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, I got the morning after pill and some drugs for HIV and STD's."

"You told them you were raped?" Olivia asked knowing if someone went to the hospital after being raped that the hospital would call SVU.

"No, I told them it was a one night stand, I'm a trust fund baby so money isn't an issue." She replied laughing a little nervously as she wiped her tears again.

"I understand, now do you have any visible bruises? Anything we can log as evidence?" Olivia asked.

"No. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. Are you ok for five minutes while I go and talk to my captain?" Olivia asked.

"Of course." Mariah replied.

"Ok, I'll be right back." Olivia replied getting to her feet.

She rushed out the door to Cragen and Elliot.

"Well?" She asked.

"Take her home, in the morning you can speak with the professor." Cragen replied. "This is going to be a he said she said unless you can find evidence."

"Ok." Olivia sighed knowing he was right, this was going to be a tough case to say the least.

****

**Ok sooooo that last bit was pointless but there is a reason to it I swear! More E/O coming up and we will soon arrive at the SMUT!**

**Please Review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Sorry for the long delay and the mistake with the last chapter, my computer seems to like to turn itself off and restart and I accidentally saved the 25 chapter over 24 and uploaded it without checking it, so here is the rewrite of chapter 24!**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**8.36 am**

"Stabler! Benson!" Cragen called as soon as they both walked into the squad room.

"What is it Cap?" Elliot asked as they both walked over to him.

"Go see the professor at Hudson, apparently he teaches a class at ten on Saturdays."

"No problem, come on Elliot." Olivia smiled before turning on her heels and leaving again.

"Ok Cap we'll see you in a bit." Elliot nodded before rushing after Olivia.

****

**Hudson University, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**9.21 am**

"We're looking for a professor Nick Garrett." Olivia said flashing her badge to the receptionist.

"Nick Garrett..." The woman began typing into her computer. "...his office is on the second floor of this building, room two one five. The elevator there."

Olivia nodded and Elliot mumbled a thank you before the two of them headed to the elevator, they'd discussed how they were going to take the questioning in the car on the way over so they were prepared.

Elliot knocked on the office door and a petite man with brown hair wearing a suit opened the door. Olivia could tell this man was a young and new professor.

"Hi Nick Garrett?" Olivia asked.

"That would be me."

Olivia and Elliot both flashed their badges and Nick moved out of the way to let the two into the office.

"I'm Detective Benson this is Detective Stabler."

"What can I do for you Detectives?" Nick asked as he began shuffling some papers and placing them into a brown satchel.

"We would like to know where you were Tuesday at one thirty?" Olivia began as Elliot looked around the office.

"Tuesday at one thirty?" Nick replied going over to a large calendar. "I was finishing teaching poetry in motion to third year students over in the lecture theatre."

"Ok what did you do afterwards?"

"I went to lunch same as always."

"Did you stop and talk to any of your students at the end of the lecture?" Olivia continued.

"Of course I did, I always have one or two with some extra questions that they need to ask on assignments."

"Did you talk to Mariah Gonzales?" Olivia continued quickly.

"Yes."

"Did you rape her?" Olivia asked quickly hoping not to give him time to think.

There was a short pause where Nick Garrett stood still.

"Did I what?" he asked his voice shaking as he turned to look Olivia in the eye.

"Did you rape her? Just answer the question." Olivia replied.

"Of course I didn't rape her! What do you think I am?" He gasped a little but Olivia could tell instantly that he did it.

"We'd like you to come with us Sir." Olivia said and Elliot knew it meant she thought he was guilty.

"I am about to teach a class and I am not planning on missing it."

"See we could go back to Manhattan get an arrest warrant and come back here with it and arrest you during your lecture if you prefer." Elliot told him.

"No I wouldn't could you give me a minute to cancel the class?" Nick Garrett replied.

"Absolutely we'll wait outside the door." Olivia said and she and Elliot walked out of the room.

"He did it." Olivia told Elliot.

"I know." He replied.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**10.45 am**

Once back at the precinct Olivia and Elliot took Nick Garrett to one of the interrogation rooms.

"I am legally obligated to ask you if you want a lawyer." Olivia stated.

"No, I didn't do anything so I do not need a lawyer." Nick Garrett replied.

"Satisfied?" She asked turning to the two way as she knew Cragen was stood there and he had warned Olivia to ask Garrett if he wanted a lawyer before they started questioning him.

"Ok you claim on Tuesday you taught a lecture and then stopped to talk with Mariah Gonzales, what did you talk about?" Olivia began as she walked around the table, hands in her pocket.

Elliot leant against the wall by the two way just watching, trying to intimidate Garrett.

"About the next assignment she has to do, a contextual analysis of three different poems." Garrett replied.

_He's nervous_, Elliot noted to himself.

"Ok so where there other people in the lecture theatre when you spoke with her?"

"No, she was the last person I spoke with." Garret replied.

"So you didn't walk to her and made her crash into the wall?" Olivia asked.

"No of course not." He replied.

"You did hold her by her shoulders and kiss her and then shoved your hand up her skirt?" Olivia asked.

"No." Garrett replied angrily.

"See I don't believe you. I believe that you pinned Mariah back against the wall, tore off her panties and inserted your penis into her. I believe that you raped her." Olivia spat getting into his face.

"I didn't!"

"Don't lie! You pushed her into the wall, you touched her up then you tore her panties off and thrust your penis into her."

"No! No that's not what happened!"

"Then what did happen Nick? What did you do to Mariah Gonzales?"

"I didn't rape her, I may have touched her up but I didn't rape her." He sighed.

"Nick Garrett are you confessing to sexually assaulting her?"

"Yes. I think I need a lawyer now." He replied.

"Nick Garrett you are under arrest for sexual assault, you have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" Olivia mirandized him quickly.

"Yes." He croaked.

"You can see your attorney in arraignment, the only place you're going it central booking." She hissed before turning on her heels and leaving.

"Good job Benson." Cragen smiled as she and Elliot left the interrogation room. "I'll have Munch book him and take him down to central why don't the two of you take the rest of the day and spend it with the kids?" He suggested.

"Thanks Cap we will." Olivia smiled thinking they could have a lovely day together.

****

**Central Park, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**12.06 pm**

"Don't go far! Stay where we can see you!" Olivia called as all the kids rushed off to play.

Olivia and Elliot sat back on a blanket to watch them. Elliot wrapped his hand around Olivia's waist and stroked her stomach.

"I can't believe we're having a baby." Elliot whispered as he stroked her tiny bump.

"I know, I'm still not used to it." Olivia replied.

"There's a shrimp in there." He said giving her stomach a little poke.

"Shrimp! It's a baby Elliot!" She laughed loudly.

"It isn't yet, it's around the size of a cocktail shrimp!" Elliot laughed back.

"That's true, but in six months it's going to be a full grown baby that screams, eats and poops." Olivia laughed back.

"I know! I can't believe it, you're going to be a mommy again."

"A biological one as well this time." Olivia smiled.

"Doesn't make a difference though does it?" Elliot asked.

"Of course it doesn't, not really, I love Melissa like I did give birth to her, she is mine as much as this baby is mine." She replied cupping her hand over Elliot's.

"We're going to be a proper family Liv." Elliot smiled.

"I know." She whispered back as tears glistened in her eyes.

"Hey what's wrong?" Elliot asked hearing her sniff.

"Nothing's wrong Elliot I mean, everything is perfect, I'm just so happy, I've got you, Melly and this baby on the way. I just think back to the way everything was a couple of weeks ago, I felt so lost and alone and it was just me and Melly and I was scared that I wouldn't be able to look after her without Cole and I knew I was pregnant and hadn't told anyone. I was terrified and now I'm so happy looking forward to a great future with you and this baby and Melly and you're kids two weeks of every month." Olivia explained.

"I know, life has a funny way of making everything right." Elliot replied kissing Olivia's neck.

"It has doesn't it?" She smiled.

As Olivia turned to kiss Elliot there was an ear splitting scream that had them both diving to their feet.

"Melly!" Olivia yelled as she and Elliot broke out into a run seeing all the Stabler kids and Melly gathered around some bushes.

"Oh my God! Elliot get the kids out of here!" Olivia screamed as she grabbed her phone.

Elliot led the kids away, all of them crying with what they had seen.

"Hi this is Detective Olivia Benson shield four zero one five I need CSU and an ME to Central Park east and get me the Special Victims Unit too." Olivia said into the phone.

There was a loud gasp and Olivia's mouth fell open as she dived into the bushes.

"Scratch that I need a bus!" Olivia yelled into the phone. "Ok baby I've got you." Olivia whispered.

"What's the ten on the bus?" She asked pressing her fingers into the neck.

"Liv?" Elliot asked seeing her.

"She's alive Elliot!" Olivia yelled tears in her eyes.

There was another gasp and the body in her lap went limp once again.

"Shit!" Olivia yelled throwing her phone to Elliot and beginning CPR.

"Come on baby, come back to me." Olivia pleaded as she started the first round of chest compressions.

She clasped her mouth down to the body's and blew hard before starting chest compressions again.

"Come on, please baby come back to me." Olivia pleaded before once again clasping her own mouth down again.

"Liv baby she's gone." Elliot told her.

"No! I'm not stopping!" Olivia called back to him tears stinging her eyes as she continued to give CPR.

Ten minutes later EMT's arrived along with Cragen, Munch and Fin and a team from CSU.

Olivia was still administering CPR.

"How long she been doing that?" Cragen asked Elliot who looked so helpless.

"About fifteen minutes." Elliot replied.

Olivia was still administering the CPR not allowing the EMT's to stop her.

"Olivia. Please Liv, she's gone." Cragen told her going to her side.

"No, she's someone's baby." Olivia argued as Cragen grabbed her from behind by the biceps.

Olivia allowed him to pull her away.

"She's just a baby." Olivia croaked as tears fell down her face.

"I know, I know." Cragen cooed as he passed her into Elliot's awaiting arms.

"Who found her?" Cragen asked Elliot.

"Melly." He whispered back.

"Ok all of you get to the precinct, Melly will have to give a statement, you two can type up your own and then Munch and Fin will come and take Melly's." Cragen told them.

"Ok come on Liv, let's go." Elliot whispered gently.

"She's someone's baby." Olivia sobbed.

"I know baby, I know." Elliot whispered as he led her away from the scene.

Olivia got into the car where all the kids were sitting quietly in their own thoughts.

"Melly are you ok?" Olivia asked and Melly just gave a weak nod, she seemed to be in shock and Olivia knew that Melly needed to sit down with Huang and fast.

****

**Ok sooooo that last bit was pointless but there is a reason to it I swear! More E/O coming up and we will soon arrive at the SMUT!**

**Please Review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**So here is the chapter very much ALL my readers have been waiting for ... SMUT!**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**1.04 pm**

The family arrived at the precinct and sat down in silence. Olivia held Melly in her arms, cradling her and rocking her gently.

"Baby, we're going to go talk to Mommy's friend George ok?" Olivia asked her knowing that they needed a sit down with Huang and fast because she was worried for Melly.

"Ok." Melly replied in a whisper.

Olivia carried Melly to George Huang's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in." He said when he answered and saw who was standing there.

Olivia made her way over to the couch and sat down still holding Melly tight to her. George had already received a phone call from Captain Cragen explaining what had happened so he didn't need to know that but he was worried for the child wrapped in her mother's arms.

"Melissa?" Huang started and Melly slowly turned to look at him.

"Hi." She whispered brushing long blonde hair from her face clumsily.

"How are you feeling Melly?" He asked softly his back arched so he was lower to her eye level.

"Really sad." She replied. "Mommy?"

"What is it baby?" She asked.

"Has Georgia gone to be with Jesus?"

"Who baby?" Olivia asked turning Melly so she could look into her face.

"Georgia, the girl in the park." Melly replied.

"Baby why do you call her Georgia?" Olivia asked confused.

"Because that's her name Mommy, she's in my class in school."

The look of horror on Olivia's face when she looked at George Huang was evident. She was in complete shock that her daughter had found a body, but it was worse being a body of her friend.

"Baby do you know what Georgia's last name is?" Olivia asked.

Melly just shrugged not understanding what Olivia meant.

"You know like your name is Melissa Jasmine Benson, well Benson is your last name, do you know what Georgia's is?" Olivia explained.

"Yeah, she's Georgia Krystal Bishop." Melly replied.

"Good job baby." Olivia smiled softly and nodded at Huang.

He quickly rushed out of the room to tell Cragen they had an ID on the body thanks to Melissa.

"So has Georgia gone to be with Jesus Mommy?"

"Yes baby, Georgia's gone to heaven to be with Jesus." Olivia replied softly.

There was a few moments' silence where tears slipped down Melissa's pale face.

"Mommy..." Melly began.

"Yes baby?" Olivia asked knowing her daughter was hurting.

"Are you going to go and be with Jesus?" Melly asked innocently.

"No baby why are you asking that?" Olivia asked just as George Huang entered the room again.

"Because you've been poorly and poorly people go and be with Jesus, I don't want you to go and be with Jesus!" Melly explained as she sobbed.

"Baby Mommy isn't poorly and Mommy is definitely not going to be with Jesus." Olivia replied her heart breaking for her little girl.

"But you've been sick, after tea, I heard you!" Melly cried.

"Oh no baby!" Olivia blinked back her own tears. "Mommy isn't poorly, see because Mommy's having a baby and it's growing in Mommy's tummy that's what's making her sick but it will stop son when Mommy's tummy is used to having the baby there." Olivia explained desperately.

"So you're not poorly and going to go and be with Jesus?" Melly asked her crying subsiding.

"No baby, I'm not poorly and I'm not going to be with Jesus." Olivia replied softly.

"But everyone goes to be with Jesus who knows me, my old Mom and Dad and the Mikey and then Daddy and now Georgia, I don't want you to go too or Uncle El or Mo, Katie, Lizzie or Dickie!" Melly cried.

"None of us are going to be with Jesus baby, none of us are leaving you I promise!" Olivia cried holding Melissa as tight as she possibly could without hurting her.

"Ok mommy." Melly replied. "I'm just scarred of everyone going to be with Jesus and leaving me on my own." Melly explained.

"Well none of us are going yet baby I promise you that." Olivia replied hugging Melly still.

"Is that what scares you Melly? Mommy going to be with Jesus?" Huang asked.

"Uh-huh, I don't want Mommy to go and be with Jesus." Melly replied.

"Do you believe Mommy when she says she isn't going?" Huang asked.

"Yes." Melly nodded.

"Good. Melly why don't you go downstairs to be with Uncle Elliot so I can talk to Mommy?" Huang asked.

Melly looked at her mother for permission and once Olivia nodded she climbed out of her mother's lap and rushed out the door, slamming it shut behind her.

"Well how affected is my daughter?" Olivia asked unsure if she actually wanted to hear the answer.

"She's a normal five year old Olivia. Her fears are normal for someone who has lost so many people in her short life, I'd be more worried if she wasn't scared of losing you." Huang replied gently.

"Good." Olivia nodded, relief inadmissible in her voice.

"Now I want to know how you're doing." Huang told her and she knew Cragen had told him what had happened.

"I'm fine." Olivia replied, her most used sentence flowing from her mouth.

"Really?" Huang asked not believing a word of it.

"She's just a kid, I had to try." Olivia shrugged as tears glistened in her eyes.

"I know. I can't imagine how hard it is for you Olivia, but you tried to save her, sometimes trying isn't enough." Huang explained.

"But her poor mother, I mean, I can't ... what if it had been Melly?" She croaked the tears falling down her face now.

"Olivia, you can't start thinking like that. I know it's tough but it wasn't Melly, Melly's fine, she's downstairs with her family." Huang replied.

"But I close my eyes and I see it, I see that little girl's body but then it changes and I see Melly." Olivia sobbed.

"All you have to do is remember that Melly is alive, she's downstairs with Elliot and his kids."

"I know. I know I'm just being ..."

"A mother." Huang interrupted.

"A very hormonal mother." Olivia laughed one hand resting on her bump the other wiping her tears.

"Exactly, why don't you go downstairs, type your witness statement, wait for Munch and Fin to arrive and take Melly's then go home and be with your family?" Huang suggested.

"Sounds like a very good idea to me." Olivia laughed gently. "Thank you."

"No problem." Huang replied as Olivia headed for the door.

He couldn't help but sigh, he couldn't deny that he was worried about Olivia, seeing Melly's body instead of the real child could lead to somewhere very dark and he knew he had to keep a closer eye on her through her pregnancy.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**2.32 pm**

"Sorry we took so long." Munch apologised as he entered the bullpen.

"It's ok but can we get this over with so we can leave please?" Olivia asked having been desperate to get out of there for so long.

"Yeah we just need to take Melly's statement then you're free to go." Munch replied.

"Melly come on baby." Olivia called to her daughter who was drawing with Lizzie.

Munch, Fin, Olivia and Melly went into the interview room. Melly sat on Olivia's lap as Munch held a notebook and paper and Fin would then ask questions.

"Ok Mel, tell me what happened before you found Georgia?" Fin smiled softly.

"Me, Lizzie, Dickie, Katie and Mo were playing soccer and the ball went into the bushes." Melly replied.

"Ok so then what happened?" Fin continued wanting to make this go by quickly for all parties.

"I was closest so Dickie told me to go get it." Melly explained.

"Right."

"So I went to the bushes to get the ball and that's when I found Georgia."

"And what did you do?" Fin asked needing to be sure Melly hadn't touched the body.

"I screamed. Then Mo and Katie, Lizzie and Dickie ran to me and Mo pulled me away when Mommy and Uncle Elliot came over, then Uncle Elliot took us to the car." Melly explained.

"So you didn't touch Georgia?" Fin asked.

"Nu-uh." Melly shook her head.

"Ok good girl, we've got everything Liv." Fin said giving her a weak smile.

"Good now I'm taking my daughter home." She replied getting to her feet with Melly in her arms. "I'll see you Monday."

"Bye Liv."

"See ya Baby Girl."

Olivia couldn't get out of there soon enough, it had been one hell of a day and she just wanted it over with.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**5.35 pm**

"Kids dinner is on the table!" Olivia yelled up the stairs.

She turned around to see Elliot laughing behind her.

"What?" She asked hitting him with the dish towel in her hand.

"You really need to get the intercom system installed do you know that?" He laughed.

"I will, I've been too busy that's all!" She laughed as the stampede of feet came towards the stairs.

"Don't rush on the stairs!" Olivia called scared that one of them would fall and break their neck.

They all made their way to the dining room to where Olivia had served the meal and sat down in near silence, the children were still trying to get the images of what they had seen out of their heads and both Olivia and Elliot were kicking themselves as they had always made it a priority to keep their work away from their kids.

"You're mother will be here at seven so after dinner make sure all the things you're taking with you is packed up." Elliot said breaking the awkward silence.

"Dad we don't want to go." Maureen said what all the Stabler children had been saying.

"I don't care Maureen if you don't go then I will be in a lot of trouble the terms of the custody agreement says I get you two weeks out of every month and your mother has you for two weeks that's what the judge decided." Elliot replied angrily it hurt him that he had to send his children away when they didn't want to go.

"But Daddy ..."

"I don't want to hear it Dickie, your Mom will be here to collect you at seven and that is that." Elliot replied. "Now eat your dinner please."

Olivia didn't know what to do or say, she could see that the man in front of her was hurting but she knew now wasn't the right moment to say anything to him. The rest of the meal passed in complete silence.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, July 19th 2008**

**9.32 pm**

"Melly's finally asleep." Olivia sighed as she entered the living room where Elliot was watching TV.

"Do you think she'll wake up?" Elliot asked as Olivia climbed onto the couch and cuddled up with him.

"Probably, she saw a body today." Olivia sighed. "And not just any body either, one of her school friends naked body, I can't imagine how much that image is floating around her head." Olivia sighed.

"She'll be ok Liv. She's a kid, she'll be just fine." Elliot told her gently.

"Yeah, she will." Olivia smiled back and she leaned up to kiss him.

He accepted her kiss and following her lead the kiss deepened. Her hands slipped around his neck as the kiss became quicker and needier. He didn't try and stop her as their lips crashed and their tongues fought for dominance. His arms slipped around her waist as they continued to kiss.

"Upstairs." She whispered into his mouth.

He said nothing but broke the kiss and grabbed her hand. She took his lead and they made their way their bedroom. Once the door was shut they were all over each other, their kiss crashing, their tongues fighting and their hands exploring each other's bodies through their clothing. Olivia was first to move to touch skin by slipping her hands up his t-shirt feeling her way over every muscle on his chest. She moaned into his mouth as they continued to kiss. Elliot moved first this time, grabbing at Olivia's jumper he broke their kiss just to pull it off before crashing his lips onto hers once again. Seconds later Olivia pulled away the kiss to pull off Elliot's t-shirt and he pulled off hers before resuming their kissing.

Their hands felt each other's backs and chests, their kissing was ferocious in the sense that neither one of them wanted to stop. Elliot's hands stopped at Olivia's bra, he wasn't sure if she was ready but when she moaned into his mouth again it was the only signal he needed to unclasp it. She stopped exploring his back so he could slip it off without breaking the kiss. One of his hands held her back as the other started exploring Olivia's breasts, he stroked and squeezed each one earning gasps of delight and pleasure from Olivia, he then moved to her nipples. Starting with the right one he gently stroked around the bud that stood up perfectly, he then rolled it between his forefinger and thumb before pulling gently. Olivia could only moan in response, the wetness pooling between her legs and the feeling of Elliot's hard member against her thigh. He moved to the other breast repeating the same actions making her moan deeper.

She moved on first. Her hands found his belt and she quickly started to unbuckle it making Elliot laugh a little as he kissed her. They were still stood in the centre of the room as Olivia finally managed to undo the belt undo the button. He moved from her breast down to her trousers, he found the button and it popped open easily. He walked her backwards to the bed and slowly helped lie her down. He broke their kiss and started kissing down her neck, he stopped momentarily at the pulse point, biting and sucking and leaving a very obvious mark that would tell everyone that she was his. Then he continued down her neck to her shoulder. She bit her bottom lip, giggling with delight as he slowly worked down to her breasts.

As his mouth connected with the right nipple his left hand squeezed the left, he then wrapped his mouth over the rosy bud, sucking and biting as she withered in pleasure beneath him. He then continued on his journey downward getting closer and closer to her core. Once he arrived at her trousers he peeled them from her skin. He spread her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs on one side as his hand stroked the other.

The ache between her legs kept growing as he slowly started to remove her panties. He slipped them off in one easy swipe and just looked at her for a moment, smiling, taking in her beauty. Then he touched her. One finger against her wet slit making her gasp out in pleasure. She called his name and he grinned before lowering his face down. He licked her and she called again, his name, like a song. He pressed his lips to her engorged slit and sucked once making her moan again. He slipped one finger inside of her and she groaned with pleasure, as his tongue worked her clit he began to gently thump his finger in and out of her twisting every now and again. Seeing that she was getting closer he inserted another finger, he could feel how tight she was around him and this just made him happier.

"Cum for me baby." He whispered as a prayer reaching her ears.

She moaned loudly as she reached her climax.

"Elliot!" She gasped as her body contorted with pleasure. Elliot took in everything she gave him, slowly licking bringing her through the climax.

As she finally relaxed and her breathing began to regulate he came up to meet her. They shared a lingering stare, just feeling each other's love before his lips met hers in a slow passionate kiss, her being able to taste remnants of herself on him.

She started to tug at his trousers but he stopped her.

"Let me cum inside you." He whispered and she nodded, knowing that now was the right moment.

He took off his trousers and she saw how big he was, having not been with anyone that size and having just climaxed once she knew this was going to be a very new experience.

"Go slow." She whispered as he leant in to her.

"I will." He replied and she spread her legs further.

He teased her entrance first, preparing her for him to enter. He slipped in inch by inch as slow as he could. When he was half way in to her she moaned half in pain half in pleasure and he saw the pain flash across her face.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked not wanting to cause her any pain.

"No. Go." She replied and he slipped further in.

Once completely inside her he held still, allowing her body to adjust to having him there. He took her hand in his own, his other holding his body from hers so not to crush her and the baby. He bought her hand to his chest before he started to pump slowly in and out of her.

"Liv!" He moaned as she slowly began to move her hips in time to his movements.

She smiled, enjoying every moment. She called out his name as her back arched up to him. They both slowly began to increase the speed as their arousal reached a new peak. Together they moved, like a dance, completely in time to one another.

"El!" She moaned as she became ever closer to the second release of that night.

"Cum for me baby, I'm right with you." He replied in a grunt that pushed her closer.

"Ahh El!" She moaned as she clamped around him.

"I'm with you!" He replied just seconds before they both climaxed, calling each other's names in a glorious song.

Once he rode her through their release he didn't move. Holding her hand to his chest he stayed inside her looking into her eyes. He'd been waiting years to do that and he wasn't about to just roll over.

"I love you." She whispered once her breath had steadied.

"I love you too Liv." He replied looking into her deep brown eyes.

He finally pulled out of her making her moan again. He laughed and lay down beside her, pulling her into his arms.

"I love you so much." He whispered.

"I love you more." She replied as they both closed their eyes and drifted off into a beautiful and peaceful sleep.

****

**Well I hope that was worth the wait!**

**Please Review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**So here is the chapter very much ALL my readers have been waiting for ... SMUT!**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 20th 2008**

**9.01 am**

Olivia, Elliot and Melissa were sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Olivia had given Dani the day off to do whatever she wanted as the family would go to church and then go to Mrs Jeffries house.

"Mommy, how long till the baby comes?" Melly asked innocently.

"Six months baby." Olivia replied tucking Melly's hair behind her ear.

"Why so long?" Melly continued.

"Well because the baby has to grow first then when it's big enough it will be ready to come out and meet us." Olivia explained.

"Ok." Melly smiled accepting it as a satisfactory answer.

Olivia looked at Elliot who was grinning widely.

"What?" Olivia frowned self consciously.

"I just think it's adorable." He shrugged making her laugh.

"What's so frigging adorable Stabler?" She asked as she continued laughing.

"Just hearing you and Melly talk, I like it." He replied.

"Shut up!" She laughed. "Now Smelly Melly go and get changed, Mommy will be up to do your hair in a minute ok?" She smiled.

"Ok Mommy." She smiled climbing out of her chair and rushing out of the kitchen.

Olivia started to clear the table but Elliot stopped her and rested his hand on her cheek.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing." He smiled before leaning in to kiss her.

She fell into the kiss forgetting she had dishes in her hands.

"What was that for?" She asked when they broke apart.

"No reason, is it wrong for me to want to kiss my girlfriend?" He asked innocently batting his eyelashes.

"Of course not." She smirked before leaning in to kiss him again.

****

**Jeffries residency, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 20th 2008**

**11.39 am**

"Ms Benson, Mr Stabler, Miss Benson." Charles smiled opening the main door.

"Good Morning Charles." Olivia smiled as he let them into the house.

"Madam Jeffries is having tea in the library with Captain Cragen. This way." Charles smiled and he lead the three of them off.

"Cragen's already here?" Olivia whispered.

"I'm starting to think they have something more than companionship." Elliot sniggered making inverted comma's with his fingers.

Olivia suppressed a laugh as Charles stopped at the library door knocking once before entering.

"Ms Benson, Mr Stabler and Miss Benson have arrived Ma'am." Charles drawled.

"Well let them in then Charles." Mrs Jeffries replied.

As Olivia entered she saw both people she considered parents standing by the couch where they had just been sitting. Olivia walked over to them both closely followed by Elliot and Melly.

"Good morning Mom." Olivia smiled hugging Mrs Jeffries.

"Good Morning Olivia dear." Mrs Jeffries smiled kissing Olivia's cheek.

Olivia stepped to the side to hug Cragen as Mrs Jeffries hugged Elliot.

"Morning Pops." She smiled as he hugged her tight.

"Morning Olivia." He smiled before pulling away to shake Elliot's hand as Mrs Jeffries greeted Melly.

Once they'd all greeted each other Olivia, Elliot and Melly sat down as more tea was served.

"Olivia, you have that glow going already." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled back, she'd been feeling the glow of pregnancy since she'd told everyone about it.

"Don and I have been talking a lot about are grandbaby haven't we Don?" Mrs Jeffries smiled turning to Cragen.

"Uh yes, we're both very much looking forward to it." Cragen smiled unsure what to do with himself.

Olivia bowed her head and suppressed a laugh at the awkwardness that surrounded them. Elliot who was holding her hand gave it a gentle squeeze to try help calm her down.

"Melissa, if you want to go and play till lunch Aunt Tammy has bought her old dolls house and placed it in the spare room. Just ask Charles to show you the way." Mrs Jeffries told the young girl who had been sat quietly on the couch.

"Can I go play Mommy?" She asked turning to her mother.

"Of course you can Melly just don't dirty your dress." Olivia smiled, they were all dressed in their Sunday best having been to church then lunch with the grandparents.

"Thank you Mommy." Melly smiled jumping off the couch and rushing out the door.

"Thanks Mom." Olivia smiled.

"Well better for her to play than sit here while we talk like adults." Mrs Jeffries smiled back.

There was a few minutes of awkward silence as Eliza served them all tea. Olivia kept her gaze low, it was strange seeing how close Mrs Jeffries and Cragen were sitting and the way they would look at each other was just making Olivia laugh.

"So Don was telling me Melissa found a body." Mrs Jeffries said making Olivia snap out of her thoughts.

"Yes, in Central Park." Olivia replied.

"How is she handling it?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"She's fine, she didn't wake up with any nightmares last night which is a good sign." Olivia replied honestly as Eliza handed her a cup of tea. "Thank you." She smiled gently knowing they were two words the young maid barely ever heard.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it poor girl." Mrs Jeffries commented.

"So have you been thinking about any names for our grandbaby?" Mrs Jeffries asked sharing a look with Cragen on the word 'our' making Olivia giggle. "What's so funny dear?"

"Nothing." Olivia said trying to compose herself. "Nothing, sorry." She said again.

"If something's funny dear you should share it with the group." Mrs Jeffries said being a stickler for manners as usual.

"No Mother, it's nothing." Olivia replied as she continued to suppress more laughter that was threatening to surface.

"You shouldn't lie Olivia, something is making you laugh. Come on spit it out." Mrs Jeffries said and Olivia looked from Mrs Jeffries to Cragen and back again.

"I was just ... Well you see ..."

"Stop mumbling Olivia and come out with it, you want to know what the relationship is between me and Don isn't that right?" Mrs Jeffries smirked.

"Yes. I consider both of you my parents, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't hide things from me." Olivia explained.

"We're not hiding it from you, if you'd just asked we'd have been honest about it Olivia. Don and I are in a relationship, he has been staying here." Mrs Jeffries replied and Olivia had to bend her head down again to hide her laughter. "Does it bother you Olivia?"

"No! Goodness no!" Olivia said her head snapping upright because she knew Cragen would break it off if it bothered her. "It doesn't bother me, I hope you're both very happy." Olivia smiled gently.

"We are, I'm glad you're happy for us." Mrs Jeffries smiled slipping her own hand into Cragen's, considering she was a woman with such class and barely showed any public form of emotion she was visibly in love with Don Cragen.

"How are things between the two of you Olivia? Has the relationship gone to the bedroom yet?" Mrs Jeffries asked, Olivia has just taken a sip of tea and performed a perfect spit take as Elliot just looked away red with embarassment.

"Mother!" Olivia gasped as she picked up a serviette.

"What?" Mrs Jeffries asked innocently.

"Please!" Olivia snapped.

"I was just asking..."

"I know you were just asking but it's not something you should be asking." Olivia replied as she cleaned herself up of the tea.

"It was a perfectly innocent question." Mrs Jeffries shrugged.

"Not to be asked in front of Pops though!" Olivia explained almost angrily.

"I apologise Olivia." Mrs Jeffries shrugged not understanding that there was anything wrong with the question. "But judging by your reaction I would say that it has."

"Oh please Mother!" Olivia groaned. "Don't have this conversation!" She was pleading.

"What? I want to know if my daughter in law has moved on and has started sleeping with her boyfriend, I told you not to wait forever or you'd lose him." Mrs Jeffries shrugged still so innocent about how much embarrassment she was causing both young people in front of her.

Don Cragen was shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he had never wanted to hear any details about Olivia's sex life, she was very much his daughter and preferred the sense of innocence he got from not knowing things like that.

Elliot was looking away, he was highly embarrassed but also found the conversation between Olivia and Mrs Jeffries to be quite funny and amusing.

"Mother this is neither the time nor place to be talking about this, what would you do if I asked about your sexual relationship with Pops?" She spat.

"I'd tell you that it is very healthy..."

"Oh mother!" Olivia groaned. "Please don't say anymore!"

"What?" Mrs Jeffries shrugged innocently.

"I really don't want to hear this!" Olivia explained.

Don Cragen had gone purple in the face. He felt almost humiliated, even though he found it quite funny he had never thought Olivia would ask such a question, he wasn't surprised by the answer Mrs Jeffries had given though, she may be very upper class she had her moments and had topics that made her look completely different.

"You're the one who asked." Mrs Jeffries replied.

"It was sarcasm Mom." Olivia sighed.

"And what have I told you about sarcasm it's ..."

"It's common, don't do it." Olivia mimicked childishly.

"And stop acting like a teenager Olivia." Mrs Jeffries smirked as Olivia rolled her eyes.

"When I'm around you Mother I can't help it." Olivia replied with a cheeky grin.

"Excuse me." Eliza's voice came from the back door way.

"What is it Eliza?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Lunch is ready to be served, if you'd all like to make your way to the dining room." Eliza curtsied then hurried off leaving the adults together.

"Mother, can we curve the sex talk around Melly please, she already asks enough awkward questions." Olivia said as they all placed their cups down.

"Of course I will, we have many more things to talk about." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

****

**Jeffries residency, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 20th 2008**

**12.12 pm**

Olivia, Elliot, Melly, Tammy, Cragen and Mrs Jeffries were all seated around the table.

"Elliot, why don't you say grace?" Mrs Jeffries smiled.

Elliot nodded as everyone clasped hands around the table.

"May we thank the Lord for what we are about to receive. Amen."

"Amen." Everyone chorused before beginning to tuck into their food.

"So Olivia any names for the baby?" Mrs Jeffries asked starting up the conversation.

"I have a few in mind, I'm yet to discuss it with Elliot though." Olivia replied, she wanted Elliot to be involved every step of the way but had to remember that this child wasn't his.

"Such as?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Well I like the name Nicole for a girl. I mean ..." Olivia didn't need to explain to anyone why she liked the name Nicole.

"That's a beautiful name Olivia." Tammy smiled breaking the awkward silence that had begun to crowd the group.

"Thank you Tammy." Olivia smiled.

"Yes, beautiful." Mrs Jeffries smiled, she had tears in her eyes that she was trying to blink away.

"I'm sure you're thinking Cole if it's a boy?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Possibly, or have Cole as a middle name." Olivia replied, she wasn't sure if she could call the child Cole after it's father as a first name.

"Good idea." Mrs Jeffries smiled. "Have you been thinking about Maternity leave?"

"Not really, it's early days yet." Olivia replied.

"Fifteen weeks isn't early days Olivia, I don't want any harm coming to my grandchild." Mrs Jeffries explained.

"It is early days Mom and no harm will come to my baby." Olivia pressed my baby to show that she wasn't going to let Mrs Jeffries become a controlling grandparent.

"How does it work with the NYPD?" Mrs Jeffries asked looking at Captain Cragen.

"An expectant mother can stay out in the field until six months at the latest then desk duty till eight months and then off." Cragen replied.

"So she's going to be working like normal until she's six months pregnant? I don't like that."

"You may not like it Mom but it's how the NYPD works ok?" Olivia spoke clearly with an edge of anger in her voice.

"Don't get upset Olivia, I am not about to argue with you about it but that job took away my boy and I am always frightened that I will lose you too it as well and the risk there is to my grandbaby is very high and I don't have to pretended I like it just to make you happier." Mrs Jeffries snapped.

"No you don't have to pretended to like it but have you asked me what I think about being out in the field? No you haven't and I am happy, I'm a cop Mom it's what I do." Olivia snapped right back.

"What will you do if harm does come to that child Olivia? Because you're too stubborn to sit at a desk?"

Olivia jumped to her feet.

"Excuse me." She snapped throwing her serviette onto the table before marching out of the room.

Elliot looked at Cragen who gave him a gentle nod. Elliot stood up and placed his own serviette beside his plate.

"Excuse me." He said before rushing off after Olivia.

He caught up with her at the bottom of the stairs where she was sat crying quietly.

"Sorry." She whispered wiping away her tears.

"Don't apologise." He whispered pulling her into his arms.

"I just ... oh that woman!" Olivia groaned with a slight laugh.

"I know, she's very outspoken." Elliot laughed gently making Olivia laugh.

"I understand why she's upset, this job, it did take Cole's life and it could easily take mine too or the baby's but she doesn't understand that the job is a part of who I am. You, Melly and this job are all I have." She sighed wiping her tears.

"Not anymore Olivia, you have Melly and me but you have Tammy and Mrs Jeffries and Cragen. You have a family. Don't ever forget that." Elliot smiled gently.

"Do you think I'm being selfish wanting to stay out in the field?" Olivia asked.

"No, I need you out there with me fighting the bad guys Olivia, I wouldn't let anything happen to you and you know that." Elliot told her gently.

"I know, but I have been hurt working with you and I know if wasn't your fault so don't worry I don't blame you but what happens if something does happen and I lose this baby? I wouldn't just be losing my unborn child I'd lose Mom and Tammy too ..."

"You'll never lose me Olivia." Mrs Jeffries said coming around the corner to look at the couple.

"Mom..."

"No. Hear me out Olivia. I'm sorry if I upset you, I'm just being a worried Mom. I love you very much in the same way as I love Tammy and loved Cole. I can't help but be scared for you." Mrs Jeffries explained suddenly feeling guilty.

"My job is all I know Mom, I will be careful and Elliot's got my back. Please don't worry about us." Olivia told her almost pleading with her.

"I trust you, both of you to be careful, now come on. Wipe those tears and come and eat." Mrs Jeffries smiled gently and turned on her heels to leave.

"Come on Liv." Elliot smiled getting up and extending his hand.

The rest of the lunch passed without incident, everyone weary of what to say to one another.

.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Sunday, July 20th 2008**

**10.36 pm**

"I could have killed that woman today." Olivia sighed as she brushed her hair getting ready for bed.

"You have to admit it was quite funny when she asked about our sex life." Elliot laughed gently.

"No. It wasn't funny Elliot it was just very embarrassing." Olivia replied with a small laugh that showed she did agree with him.

He knelt behind her and kissed the side of her head.

"I love you." He whispered as his hands stroked her arms.

"I love you too El." She smiled as his lips crashed into neck.

His kisses were gentle as he explored her neck with his mouth, she just moaned in approval as his hands massaged her shoulders.

His hands slowly lowered to the bottom of her t-shirt. In one easy swipe he pulled it from her skin. She bit her bottom lip as he massaged her breasts without removing her bra.

"Like that baby?" He asked as her head rolled to the side.

She just moaned in response as his hands moved to the clasp, quickly unhooking it and pulling the material from her. Olivia turned to face him, tonight, she wanted to make love.

She pushed him down to the bed and climbed onto him. He helped her pull off his shirt and he could only groan in response as her hands explored his chest, her hips grinding against him.

"Baby..." He groaned as Olivia's lips crashed down into his.

He was too aroused now. He flipped them over making her squeal with laughter. He pulled off her trousers and panties before removing his own, she had already spread her legs eagerly waiting for him. He didn't hesitate, he checked she was ready for him with his thumb and as he pulled it away she grabbed his hand, and pulled it to her mouth.

She took her wetness from his thumb making him smile. He then held her hips, before starting to inch himself inside her.

"Elliot!" She moaned as he slowly started to fill her up.

"That's it baby." He smiled as her hips started to move.

He clasped her hands in his own and pushed them above her head. Her back arched to meet his chest as they both moved together in unison.

"Oh My God El!" She groaned as they sped things up.

"Jesus Liv!" He groaned as he thrust hard into her before pulling back and repeating.

"El!" She moaned as once again he thrashed hard into her making her contort with pleasure.

"I'm gonna cum!" She gasped knowing that she was getting ever closer to reaching her peak.

"I'm with you ... Oh Jesus ... Cum for me Liv!" He groaned feeling her clench around him.

As she came he continued to thrust hard into her.

"Elliot!" She gasped and that was all he needed. He squirted his seed inside her, as he continued to thrust taking them both through their climaxes.

"That was ..."

"I know." He whispered as he leaned over her.

Their lips met in a perfect kiss, both of them trying to regulate their breathing.

As she kissed him he began to gently rock his hips, his member still inside of her.

"Round two?" She grinned.

"Oh yes." He smiled as her hips began to respond.

****

**Totally trying to make it up to you guys that you had to wait for the E/O!**

**Please Review!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Seems like people are pleased with the SMUT hehe!**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**6.24 am**

Olivia and Elliot were woken when Melly dived onto the bed.

"Morning Mommy, Morning Uncle El!" She yelled as they both slowly woke up.

"Morning Smelly Melly." Olivia groaned as the young girl hugged her.

"Morning Chipmunk." Elliot smiled as he rested his arm around Melly and Olivia.

They didn't move for a few minutes, enjoying lying in bed together as a family. That was until Olivia became over come with nausea.

"Melly get off me baby, quickly." Olivia gasped.

Melly did as she was told by rolling into Elliot and all she could do was watch as Olivia ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Mommy's being sick again." Melly noted making Elliot laugh a little.

"Yeah Mel, it will pass soon, once her body is used to having the baby there." Elliot told her remembering how Olivia had explained she'd told Melly why she was being sick.

A good ten minutes passed before Olivia emerged and climbed back into bed beside Melissa.

"Feeling better now Mommy?" Melly asked as Olivia enveloped her in an embrace.

"Yeah baby, Mommy feels better now." Olivia smiled at the maturity of her daughter.

"Good because I want to go downstairs now." Melly beamed innocently.

"Go and get your robe and slippers then and we'll go downstairs." Olivia replied letting go of Melly so she could run off.

Both Olivia and Elliot climbed out of the bed and pulled on their robes, Olivia slipped her feet into fluffy slippers while Elliot opted to stay barefooted.

When they made their way out of the bedroom Melly dove into Olivia's arms.

"You know you're getting to big and heavy to be carried Mel." Olivia laughed as she lifted her daughter onto her hip.

"I know." Melly laughed.

When they arrived the kitchen they saw that Dani was already up and the kettle was boiling ready for them to have their coffee.

"Good morning Olivia, Elliot." Dani smiled. "Morning to you too Melly." Dani laughed pinching Melly's nose.

"Go sit down Mel." Olivia smiled putting Melly on the ground.

She rushed off to the kitchen table as Dani poured her a glass of milk.

"Thank you." She smiled.

Olivia grinned as she sat beside her daughter, she enjoyed the mornings with her family.

"Coffee." Dani smiled placing two mugs down on the table, one for Olivia and one for Elliot.

"Thanks Dani, if you don't mind, I'm going to take Melly to school this morning, I want to have a word with her teacher." Olivia told the redhead.

"No problem, do you still want me to collect her?" Dani asked just to be sure of what she needed to do.

"Yes please." Olivia smiled.

"Ok, well that gives me the morning to sort out the bedrooms, I'll change all the covers that way the Stabler kids beds will be ready for when they come back." Dani smiled. "I'm making pancakes for breakfast too." Dani smiled going back to the stove.

"Yummy!" Melly called.

"Thanks Dani." Olivia smiled, she was sure appreciative of her nanny who seemed to have become a cook and maid too.

"No problem I love to cook." Dani smiled knowing Olivia hated cooking.

****

**Sacred heart of Jesus school, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**8.41 am**

Olivia and Elliot both held Melly's hand when they walked into the school.

"You go to class Melly ok?" Olivia smiled as they arrived the reception.

"Ok." Melly smiled as Olivia leant down to kiss her daughter.

"Now behave and have a good day ok?" Olivia smiled as she pulled away.

"I will have fun in work." Melly smiled before skipping off down the corridor, her blond ponytail flowing behind her.

"She needs a haircut." Olivia commented to Elliot as she watched her daughter go.

"Kathy used to wait until the end of the summer, before the kids went back to school." Elliot replied knowing that Melly finished school for the summer at the end of the week.

"Yeah, might be the best idea." Olivia replied just as the Diane Thomas approached them.

"Olivia how are you?" Diane smiled as she shook the Detective's hand.

"I'm well Diane and you?" Olivia asked.

"Good, what can I help you with?" Diane asked.

"Well I'm sure you heard about Georgia Bishop?" Olivia began.

"Yes, how very sad." Diane replied.

"Well you see, uh, there's no easy way to explain this but Melissa, well, she found the body." Olivia told the principal.

"She did? Oh poor child!" Diane Thomas gasped.

"Yes, I was just hoping that you could ask Miss Josephine to keep an eye on her this week, she hasn't had any nightmares but I'm just worrying with her being back at school and they were in the same class I mean, I hope she really is ok but you just never know with these things." Olivia explained.

"Of course, I'll go and see Miss Josephine right away." Mrs Thomas smiled.

"Thank you Diane, we best go we're already late for work." Olivia replied.

"Yes of course have a good day Olivia and I'll call if anything occurs."

"Thank you." Olivia replied as she slipped her hand into Elliot's before turning on her heels and walking off.

"Melly will be fine." Elliot told her as they made their way back to the car.

"I know but I can't help but worry about her." Olivia replied.

"That's natural, you're a mother." Elliot grinned at her as they separated to get into the car.

"I have all this to go again!" Olivia laughed as she climbed into the driver's seat of her SUV.

"And you'll love it!" Elliot laughed.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**9.12 am**

"You're late." Cragen commented as his two detectives entered the bullpen.

"Yes, we took Melly to school I wanted to make sure she was alright and warn her teacher about what she had seen in case they have any problems with her, then they know." Olivia replied not liking the look she was getting from Don Cragen.

"Well you have a vic in Mercy, nine year old, Mother went to wake her up for school and she was barely conscious lying in a pool of her own blood, ER says she's definitely been penetrated so go and find out by who." Cragen explained giving Olivia a pink slip.

"Ok come on El." Olivia said.

"No Olivia take Fin." Cragen replied.

"Why?"

"Don't ask questions Olivia take Fin." Cragen told her.

"Fine, come on Fin we've got a case." Olivia sighed giving Elliot one regretful look.

She knew what Cragen was doing and she would be having words with him when they got back but right now her mind was on the nine year old girl that she had to talk to.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**10.31 am**

"I'll take the kid you take the mother?" Olivia asked as they walked into the ER.

"Sounds good to me Baby Girl." Fine replied just as they arrived at the desk.

"Nine year old rape vic?" Olivia asked flashing her badge to the overworked receptionist.

"Room two oh two." The receptionist said without even looking at the badges that were dangling in front of her face.

"Hey what's your name?" Olivia asked.

"Look lady I'm busy the kid is in room two oh two." The receptionist quipped.

"Hey, the right name is Detective which you'd know if you looked at our shields which you should have done before giving us the kids room number, now if I have to tell you again I will be talking to your superior do I make myself clear?" Olivia spat, she hated people like this.

"Yes, gee, sorry I'm just very busy and working a double." The receptionist exclaimed.

"Yeah, well I could have been the monster who raped her coming back to finish her off so next time you check ID and then tell people where people are ok?" Olivia asked.

"Sure, I'll remember." The receptionist looked quite scared of Olivia who turned and marched off closely followed by Fin.

"Hey what rattled your cage this morning?" Fin asked knowing this was unusual behaviour for Olivia.

"Not now eh Fin?" Olivia sighed as they made their way into the elevator.

"Ok. Just, if you wanna talk I'm here Baby Girl." Fin replied.

"I know, just not now, now we have a vic to talk to and then I'll talk to you when we leave." Olivia replied grateful to have such a friend in Fin.

"Sounds good to me baby girl." He smiled as they arrived on the right floor.

They saw the mother looking at her daughter through a glass window.

"Hi I'm Detective Benson this is Detective Tutuola." Olivia said both of them showing their shields.

"Hi, Eloise Durham. That's my daughter, Samantha." The mother replied tearily.

"Ok Detective Tutuola is going to talk to you and I'm going to talk to Samantha ok?" Olivia said softly.

"Yes, please find out who hurt my baby." The mother replied.

"I will." Olivia nodded as she opened the door.

She smiled gently at the little girl who had visibly been crying but wasn't crying anymore. She was hugging a white teddy bear tight to her chest and was eyeing Olivia up.

"Hi sweetie, my name's Olivia and I'm a police officer." Olivia smiled gently her voice dropped low and soft coaxing the little girl in front of her. "I just want to ask you a few questions is that ok?" Olivia asked as she slowly approached the bed.

"Yes." She replied shakily.

"Ok can you tell me what happened?" Olivia asked as she arrived the chair beside the bed and sat down.

"My daddy hurt me." She cried.

"Your daddy did it?" Olivia asked.

Samantha nodded as fresh tears fell down her cheek.

"And how did he hurt you?" Olivia asked gently knowing that the little girl in front of her had been abused.

"He put his fingers inside me." The little girl hiccupped.

"Did he do anything else?" Olivia coaxed.

"No." The little girl replied. "But it really hurt and made me bleed."

"Has he ever done it before?"

"Nuh-uh." The blonde haired brown eyed girl said shaking her head and she reminded Olivia so much of Melly that she had to remind herself that her little girl was safe in school.

"Ok, I'm going to go talk to your Mommy, I'll come back later if I have some more questions ok?" Olivia smiled getting to her feet.

The little girl nodded and Olivia rested her hand on the girls arm.

"I won't let him hurt you again." Olivia said as her thumb stroked the little girl.

"Thank you." She whispered before Olivia walked away.

Once outside in the corridor she saw that Fin was getting nowhere with the mother.

"Ms Durham we need to know where her father is." Olivia told her.

"What? Why?" Eloise Durham asked taken aback.

"Samantha claims he is the one who abused her."

The hand made contact with her cheek before she even saw it coming.

Olivia stepped back and clasped her own hand to the red cheek as Fin restrained the distraught woman.

"Neil didn't do this!" She yelled.

"I'm afraid Samantha says he did now I'm asking you again where is he?" Olivia commented trying to forget the throbbing pain on her face.

"He couldn't have!" Eloise Durham sobbed. "Please!" She pleaded.

"Fin let her go." Olivia commented seeing Eloise struggling against Fin.

"But I have to arrest her..."

"Don't you dare!" Olivia replied angrily.

"Ok your call." Fin replied backing off.

"He's in work, at the recreation centre in North Meadow park." The woman replied. "He really did this?"

"That's what Samantha says." Olivia replied.

"Then make sure he can come nowhere near us please!" She sobbed.

"I will, we'll arrest him then we'll have to take a formal statement from Samantha and from your husband and without a confession it will likely go to trial." Olivia explained.

"Ok. Just get him!" She replied.

Olivia nodded and she and Fin headed back to the elevators, once the door closed Olivia loosened her jaw.

"Cragen's going to go nuts that you didn't collar her." Fin mentioned seeing Olivia's hand back on her cheek which had a visible purple bruise.

"What would that achieve?" Olivia snapped.

"Sorry, I'm just saying what Cragen ..."

"Cragen can kiss my ass." Olivia spat.

"Hey what's Dad done to rattle your cage?" Fin asked seeing Olivia was visibly in a bad mood with the person she called her father.

"Partnering me with you today, he's splitting me and Elliot up isn't he? At my Mom... Cole's Mom's house yesterday, she asked if Elliot and I were sleeping together, we had an argument in front of Cragen, he knows now Elliot and I are sleeping together and he's splitting us up because of it." Olivia explained.

"You really think so?" Fin asked.

"Convinced of it. Why else put you and me on this case instead of me and Elliot?" Olivia replied.

"I don't know baby girl that's a question you should ask him." Fin shrugged.

"Don't worry I will be." Olivia replied as they arrived at the car.

"Call Casey or Alex and get us an arrest warrant for Neil Durham." Olivia told him as they climbed into the car.

"Ok." He replied.

They drove off with one destination in mind, one arrest, and hopefully justice for a nine year old little girl.

**! You with me? Next up Olivia confronts Cragen hihi!**

**Please Review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Seems like people are pleased with the SMUT hehe!**

****

**North Meadow Recreation Centre, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**11.21 am**

Olivia and Fin were sat in the parking lot waiting for the delivery of the arrest warrant.

"How angry are you with Dad?" Fin asked breaking the awkward silence that had been surrounding them.

"Furious." Olivia replied leaning on the steering wheel and gazing out of the windscreen.

"So you really think that he's splitting up you and Stabler?"

"Yeah, I mean why else send me with you on this case instead of Elliot, I mean, not that I don't like working with you Fin because I do you're like a brother to me but Elliot's my partner and has been for a heck of a long time." Olivia sighed. "I can't imagine doing this job without him to back my play you know." Olivia shrugged.

"I know, I mean, I've been with Munch for so long even I get conspiracy theories on some cases!" Fin and Olivia both laughed.

"If he doesn't answer to me at least he'd shagging my mother, she'll know." Olivia spat.

"Wow baby girl that's information I could do without!" Fin chortled.

"Yes well welcome to my screwed up world Fin where your dead fiancé's mother, the woman you consider to be your mother is sleeping with the man who you consider to be a father but who is also your work boss. That's screwed up Fin and I don't like it, I mean I'm glad they're both happy with each other but imagine how awkward it would be for me if they split up?" Olivia asked angrily.

"I can't imagine Liv but you should just let them both be happy and cross that bridge if you ever come to it." Fin shrugged.

"Yeah ... Oh hold on Munch is here, he must have the warrant." Olivia said spotting the tall detective exiting a car in front of her.

They both climbed out the car and walked towards Munch who was waving the arrest warrant above his head.

"Jesus Liv what hit you?" Munch asked turning her head by her chin so he could look at the purple bruise on her cheek.

"The mother." Olivia replied pulling her face from his hand.

"And you didn't collar her?" Munch asked.

"No, I'd just told her that her husband abused her daughter I'd smack me too." Olivia replied.

"Yes but Cragen ..."

"Can go screw himself." Olivia spat.

"Wow something's rattled your cage." Munch quipped.

"Shut up Munch come on Fin let's go and collar this son of a bitch." Olivia spat.

Munch stayed in the parking lot and watched the two detectives walk away. He felt for Olivia because he knew when she got back to the precinct she was going to get some bad news that was going to make her world crumble.

Olivia and Fin walked to the reception of the recreation centre.

"We're looking for Neil Durham." Olivia said flashing her badge.

"Yes he's with Sacred Heart of Jesus school in the main gymnasium. Just through that door and to your left.

Olivia's mind flashed. She knew that Melly's class would be there because every Monday Melly came to the recreation centre for Physical Education.

Fin saw that Olivia had gone pale and he knew why too, he didn't need for her to tell him.

"Come on Liv." He said gently and they both walked to the gymnasium.

They pushed open the double doors and walked into the room full of five years olds playing basketball.

"Mommy!" Melly called rushing to her mother.

"Melly go stand over there Mommy's working." Melly said not accepting her daughter's embrace.

Melly could sense the urgency in Olivia's voice and rushed off to Miss Josephine who was sat on the sidelines watching.

"Neil Durham?" Olivia asked approaching the tall man holding a ball in his hands.

"Uh yeah?" He said seeing Olivia and Fin flashing their badges.

"We need you to drop the ball and put your hands behind your head." Olivia said firmly.

"Uh, why? I'm in the middle of a session here." He commented.

"Just do it." Fin said snatching the ball out of his grasp.

"Neil Durham you are under arrest for sexual assault of a minor you have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you do you understand these rights?" Olivia said the Miranda warning as she cuffed Neil's wrists behind his back. "Take him in with Munch Fin." Olivia said seeing the panicked expression on Miss Josephine's face.

Melly rushed to her mother and dove into her arms.

"Hey Melly." Olivia said hugging her daughter close as she walked over to the young teacher.

"What happened?" Miss Josephine asked as Olivia sat down beside her.

"Mr Durham's daughter was hospitalised this morning after an assault and she informed me that it was her father."

"Samantha? She's a student at our school." Miss Josephine replied.

"Yes, well we got a warrant for Mr Durham's arrest." Olivia explained just as her cell phone began to ring. "Excuse me. Melly go play while Mommy answers the phone." Olivia said putting Melly down.

"Benson." She answered. "Woah slow down El ... what? They're what? No we're on our way!" Olivia hung up the phone and turned to Miss Josephine.

"That was Detective Stabler, I have to take Melly with me. I'll bring her back to the school after I've cleaned up this mess." Olivia said getting to her feet.

"Anything we should know about?" Miss Josephine asked also standing up.

"No, no it's nothing just something I have to sort out regarding Melly finding Georgia's body." Olivia sighed.

"Ok well if you need anything don't hesitate to call us." Miss Josephine smiled.

"Thank you I will." Olivia replied. "Melly come on we need to go see Grandpa." Olivia called and the blonde haired youngster ran to her and grabbed her hand.

"Why do we have to go see grandpa?" Melly asked.

"Nothing for you to worry about baby." She replied as she lead the five year old away.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**12.35 pm**

Olivia held Melly's hand as they entered the bullpen. Elliot was sat at his desk a clear worried expression on his face.

"El did they tell you anymore?" Olivia asked desperately.

"No." Elliot sighed.

"Ok Melly, stay here with Uncle El for a minute ok, Mommy needs to go talk to grandpa." Olivia smiled.

"Hey chipmunk why don't we draw Mommy a picture?" Elliot smiled lifting the five year old into his lap.

Olivia marched to Cragen's office and didn't bother knocking. She found Cragen there with Alex and Casey and a very worried expression on his face.

"Well?" Olivia asked.

"They've set up a competency hearing for Melly for this afternoon." Cragen informed her.

"NO! No way! My daughter isn't testifying in this trial!" Olivia yelled at the three people in front of her.

"She has to Olivia please don't make us subpoena her." Alex replied almost pleading.

"No Alex, I'm not letting my five year old stand a competency hearing, then there's the grand jury and the trial by jury? No, no way." Olivia spat.

"Please Olivia be reasonable..."

"Reasonable? Casey this is my five year old daughter you're talking about there is absolutely no way I am letting her go to trial. What can she give you anyway?" Olivia asked.

"We need to know exactly what she found the jury need to hear it from her." Alex explained.

"Fine she can do the competency hearing but I am filing a motion to quash the subpoena." Olivia spat.

"Under what?" Alex spat back.

"Relevance? I'm not letting you traumatise my daughter Alex, I'll see you in court and I'm taking the day sick to prepare so what time should I have my daughter at the courthouse?" Olivia was furious.

"Four." Alex replied.

"Fine, I'm taking her back to school. I'll see you later and be ready for a phone call from my lawyer." Olivia spat before heading out the door.

"Mommy?" Melly asked seeing her mother approach. "I'm taking you back to school baby hurry up and we'll make it before lunch." Olivia smiled holding her hand out to her daughter.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Coming?" Olivia asked him and he nodded guessing that whatever she wanted to discuss wasn't going to happen here.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**1.54 pm**

Olivia and Elliot got back to the house in good time surprising Dani who hadn't expected them to be home till much later.

"Dani, I'll be collecting Melly from school she has to go to court." Olivia told the nanny who realised it was best not to ask any questions so just replied with a nod.

Olivia grabbed the house phone and searched through her mobile phone for the right number. She hammered it into the phone as Elliot sat down on the couch watching her.

"Hi Miranda it's Olivia Benson, I need a favour could you pop by the house?" Olivia asked. "Thank you I'll see you soon bye." Olivia hung up the phone and sat down beside Elliot.

"Ok?" He asked.

"How could they? Without asking me? She's five! I mean ... God I'm angry." She spat barely able to make a coherent sentence.

"Hey it won't be that bad Liv." Elliot cooed.

"Don't you dare Elliot, she's my five year old little girl if they think she's going to get up in front of a jury without a fight they have another thing coming." Olivia spat.

"What are you going to do about it?" Elliot asked slowly massaging her shoulders trying to get her to relax.

"I'm going to get Miranda to file a motion to quash, hopefully, she can find a legal reason because I know that they'll find her competent I've bought my daughter up to know the difference between right and wrong and she's obsessed with the law because of our jobs." Olivia sighed deeply. "I can't let her do this El. She's just a baby and having to tell all those people in great detail what she saw?"

"I know Liv, I know we just have to see what Miranda has to say and hope for the best." Elliot said as she relaxed into his touch.

"I hope she gets too nervous to answer the questions and they find her incompetent to stand as a witness." Olivia moaned.

"She's too much like her mother for that to happen." Elliot laughed.

There was a knock on the living room door.

"Come in." Olivia smiled knowing who it was.

Dani walked in with two steaming mugs of coffee.

"You both looked like you could use it." She smiled handing the mugs to the detectives.

"You're right there." Olivia smiled gratefully. "Thanks Dani."

"You're welcome, if you need anything just give us a shout." Dani smiled just as the doorbell rang. "Stay there, I'll get it."

"If it's Miranda show her in if not tell them to go away!" Olivia told the nanny as she hurried off.

Seconds later and Miranda Pond entered the living room.

"Olivia!" She smiled.

"Hey Miranda." Olivia smiled back standing up and embracing the defence attorney that she cared enough about to consider a friend.

"Now what is this favour?" She asked sitting in the armchair.

"Well they've called Melly, my five year old, as a witness in a case, they're having the competency hearing this afternoon." Olivia explained.

"Right?" Miranda said wanting the detective to continue.

"I want you to file a motion to quash on my behalf." She explained.

"Ok on what grounds?"

"That's where you come in, I'm not a lawyer so I can't give you any grounds." Olivia shrugged.

"Ok well tell me why you don't want her to testify, what is she even testifying for?" Miranda asked.

"She found a body in Central Park on Saturday. They want her to tell the jury what she found in detail." Olivia explained.

"Ok and why don't you want her to do that?" Miranda asked.

"She's five! She's traumatised enough form this I don't want her to have to repeat it so often that it sticks in her mind for ever, I want her to forget this, she's young enough at the moment that if we don't talk about it there's a chance she'll forget about it." Olivia explained.

"Ok, well we don't really have grounds to quash, who's the judge?" Miranda asked.

"I don't know." Olivia shrugged, she hadn't thought of asking.

"If we get a sympathetic judge, possibly a mother, then we may get the motion through but don't hold your breath, I am going to make up some grounds and hope that Alex and Casey lose the fight but you know how great they are as ADA's the chances are they'll win." Miranda explained sympathetically.

"Ok, thanks Miranda." Olivia smiled.

"No problem, what time's the competency hearing?" Miranda continued.

"Four." Olivia replied.

"Ok, I'll meet you at the court house, I should have the motion drafted by then and we can get a hearing date set, Alex and Casey aren't going to be pleased because it will be delaying the trial for them." Miranda told her.

"I don't care about Alex and Casey as much as I care for my little girl." Olivia explained.

"I don't doubt it." Miranda smiled as she got to her feet. "I'll see you later Olivia."

****

**Competency Hearing, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, July 21st 2008**

**3.54 pm**

Olivia, Elliot and Melly walked into the courthouse and met with Miranda Pond.

"Olivia, I've drafted the motion to quash under the child rights the right to not be subjected the cruel treatment, it's a long shot Olivia I've also drafted a motion for you to be heard on this matter. Just tell them it would be cruel to make her relive this over and over again and that may sway the judge but it depends who the judge is." Miranda explained.

"Ok. Where are we for the hearing?" Olivia asked.

"Family court five." Miranda replied and the group headed off together.

Olivia entered and Melly was led to the witness box. Alex and Casey both sat with angry looks on their faces at seeing Olivia arrive with Miranda Pond.

"Competency hearing is in session." The judge called. "People to be heard."

"Hi Melly." Alex smiled at the child she called a niece.

"Hi." Melly replied smiling.

"Ok Melly do you know what an oath is?" Alex asked.

"Yes, my mommy told me." Melly replied, Olivia couldn't help but see how adorable Melly looked in her school uniform in the stand.

"Ok can you tell me?" Alex asked.

"Yes, an oath is when you swear to God to tell the truth." Melly answered.

"Good and do you know what that means?"

"Yes it means you can't lie because you swore, if you lie after oath you can go to prison." Melly explained and Olivia gripped Elliot's hand, her daughter knew too much for such a young age.

"Ok Melly and what's a lie?" Alex asked.

"A lie is saying something that isn't true, something that didn't happen, lying is a sin." Melly replied.

"I shouldn't have sent her to Catholic school." Olivia whispered making Elliot chuckle.

"Thank you Melly. No more questions." Alex replied before taking her seat.

Olivia watched with bated breath as the defence attorney Cleo Conrad stood up.

"Hello Melissa." Cleo smiled.

"Hi." Melly replied.

"Melly have you ever told a lie?" Cleo asked.

"I did before." Melly shrugged.

"Do you think it's ok to lie?" Cleo continued.

"No, lying is a sin." Melly replied.

"Ok so why did you lie if you knew it was wrong?"

"Because I didn't want to get into trouble but then my Mommy said if you tell the truth it's always better than being found out after lying." Melly said a visible frustration in her voice.

"So you haven't lied again?" Cleo asked.

"No." Melly replied.

"Are you lying now?"

"No!" Melly replied angrily.

"No more questions. Thank you Melissa." Cleo replied, she'd been asking questions the way she would cross-examine at trial to make sure the five year old could handle it.

"Thank you Councillors, I am happy to say that Melissa Benson is competent and can proceed to the grand jury trial as a witness." Judge Lena Petrovsky said before banging the gavel.

"Your Honour!" Miranda Pond called jumping to her feet.

"Councillor?"

"May I approach?" Miranda called.

"Do." Petrovsky replied and Miranda, Alex, Casey and Cleo all stepped up to the Judges bench.

"I've drafted a motion to quash the testimony of Melissa Benson and a Motion for her mother Detective Olivia Benson to be heard on the matter." Miranda said handing the documents over to the judge.

"Those motions have no grounds your honour, you have ruled that Melissa Benson is competent to stand as a witness." Alex replied.

"This falls under children's rights your honour our claim does have grounds on this matter." Miranda replied.

"I will look at them and set up a suppression hearing for tomorrow at noon." Judge Petrovsky replied. "I will decide then after hearing Detective Benson whether or not to file the motion to quash."

"Thank you." Miranda replied stepping down. "Come on Melissa." Miranda smiled holding out her hand so she could deliver the five year old to her mother.

"Well?" Olivia asked having not heard what they had discussed.

"She'll read the motion and hear you before passing judgement, we need to work together and make the perfect speech Olivia." Miranda told her firmly.

"Anything." Olivia replied.

**! You with me? Ok so Olivia hasn't confronted Cragen in this chapter but she has stuff on her mind. It is coming though, will their relationship ever be the same? Find out soon!**

**Please Review!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 22nd 2008**

**9.39 am**

Olivia was sat typing up a statement on her computer when Cragen called her into the office. She didn't want to speak with him because she knew it would erupt into an argument, and seeing it was personal she didn't think here was the right place to have it. She shut the door behind her and shoved her hands in her pocket waiting for her superior to speak.

"Olivia you hired a defence attorney?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes." Olivia replied honestly, she wasn't exactly going to lie when he already knew the answer.

"Ok do you want to tell me why?" He continued.

"How about why is it any of your business what I do?" Olivia spat knowing this was going to be one of many arguments to come.

"I'm asking you because you're sandbagging an SVU case Olivia!" Cragen snapped.

"What about my daughter? Your granddaughter? Should she be traumatised for this case?" Olivia hissed, she wasn't about to let him win this.

"It's your job as a cop..."

"I'm a mother first!" Olivia interrupted.

"Then maybe you should start thinking about leaving Olivia." Cragen spat.

"What?" Olivia yelled, she knew everyone in the bullpen could hear.

"Olivia I ..."

"Spare me the explanation, you think I should put my job before my kid? You should pull up every cop who is a parent and ask them would they ever consider putting this job before their children. Ask Elliot? Ask Fin? Go on because I guarantee you they would tell you to shove the job before they would sacrifice their children!" Olivia yelled she was furious with Cragen.

"You're being unreasonable!" Cragen snapped.

"Captain I am sorry but my child's wellbeing is what is important to me not this case, Casey and Alex have a solid case they're just using my baby to make it seem worse than it is, they want Melly to tell the jury what she found so that they feel sorry for her and find the creep guilty when the evidence would do that anyway!" Olivia hissed.

"That may be Olivia but they want her testimony I can't tell them not to subpoena her!"

"And that's why I have a defence attorney who has put in a motion to quash I am going to tell Petrovsky that the only thing it is going to do is traumatise my daughter further, I've also told Miranda to call Huang if necessary because Melly told him she feared people she loved dying because that's all they seem to do around her. I don't want her to be waking up with nightmares because Alex and Casey want to further their own agenda." Olivia spat.

"As your Captain I have to ..."

"As my Captain? How about you be the grandfather for a moment, think of that blonde haired little girl who calls you granddad and then tell me I'm wrong." Olivia hissed in a very threatening manner, the tears glistening in her eyes threatening to spill as much as she tried to blink them back.

"Olivia ..."

"If you're thinking like my Captain Pops enough with the Olivia and call me Detective because I have had enough of you picking and choosing when you're the man I consider a father and when you're my superior officer." Olivia replied the tears spilling down her face.

"Olivia ..."

"What?" She asked wiping at the tears viciously.

"Please, I don't want to argue with you but I've got IAB up my backside because of this." Cragen sighed.

"And?" Olivia shrugged.

"Ed Tucker wants to see you in his office now." Cragen explained.

"Now?"

"Yes, before you go to court, probably to talk you out of it." Cragen explained.

"Fine." Olivia sighed and she headed off with one destination in mind, ignoring Elliot's calls for her.

****

**Internal Affairs Bureau, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 22nd 2008**

**10.22 am**

"Detective Olivia Benson to see Lieutenant Edward Tucker." Olivia told the receptionist.

"I'll call him now Detective." She smiled picking up the phone.

Olivia stepped back from the desk so she wasn't listening in on the phone call, she hated the IAB building, it always made her feel like she was in trouble, in saying that most of the time she was in trouble including now. She wondered what he was going to say, was he going to take her shield, suspend her, or just give her a good talking too.

"Detective, Lieutenant Tucker will see you in his office, fifth floor, room seventy two." The receptionist told her, not that she needed telling where Tucker's office was, she'd been there often enough.

Slowly she made her way to the elevator trying to keep calm and make arguments in her head so that she was prepared for Tucker's questions. Once on the fifth floor she preceded calmly to the office, she arrived at the door and took a deep, shaky breath before knocking.

"Enter!" Tucker's voice echoed from behind the door.

She entered and shut the door behind her before going to stand in front of his desk.

"Detective Benson, please, take a seat." Tucker smiled gently.

"Thank you." Olivia replied before sitting in one of the empty chairs.

"Now I hear you have been causing quite a stir at SVU?" He began.

"A stir Lieutenant?" She asked her eyebrows raised questioningly.

"Yes, I believe you have filed a motion to quash your daughter's subpoena?" He continued.

"I have." She replied her tone official.

"Why?"

"I believe that my daughter's testimony isn't necessary, she's five years old, she doesn't need to be traumatised by having to relive what she saw over and over again." Olivia explained.

"You don't think her testimony is necessary?"

"I don't, all she did was find the body, she isn't a material witness in this trial." Olivia explained further.

"So why do you think they've called her as a witness?" Tucker continued.

"Well how much will the people gain from having a five year old relay what she saw? It just makes the case sound worse that it is." Olivia replied honestly.

"As an officer on the law do you think it's ok to hinder a criminal trial?"

"As a mother I have to protect my child." Olivia replied, that was one answer she had prepared for.

"Yes but I'm not asking you as a mother." Tucker sighed.

"But I am a mother, first and foremost." Olivia explained.

"You took an oath when you became a cop Olivia." Tucker replied.

"I know, I haven't in anyway hindered that, I am testifying in this trial to what I found, what do they need to hear it from Melissa for? I understand that the people want a guilty verdict but is it fair to Melissa? Is it fair for my five year old daughter to have to relive what she saw to a grand jury and then a civil jury?" Olivia replied.

"Is it fair to the five year old who lost her life?" Tucker hit where it hurt. "What happened if that was Melly's body, wouldn't you want the child who found her to tell the jury in the hope it would help get a guilty verdict for the man who killed her."

"No. I wouldn't make any child do such a thing. You're not a parent Ed, you can't even begin to think what I'm going through. I feel for those parents, that little girl went to school with my daughter, don't you think I've considered the possibility of it being my little girl over and over again? Of course I have, I interviewed a sexual assault victim yesterday who was nine years old, she was blonde haired and brown eyed and I had to remind myself that my little girl was in school and then I found out who the guy was who hurt her. He was teaching my daughters class basketball when we collard him, how do you think that was for me knowing that could have been my little girl lying in that hospital bed. Being a parent makes me more determined to help these kids but I will not do it at the expense of my own child." Olivia explained tears glistening in her eyes.

"Ok, I understand, I won't argue with it and I will not pursue an investigation into your actions but if the motion to quash is denied I will expect you to arrive in court with Melissa to testify when the trial begins do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." Olivia replied.

"Good, now onto the issue of your pregnancy, have you been thinking about desk duty?" Tucker asked.

"I have and like every other cop I will take it at the six month mark." Olivia replied.

"Ok. That's fine, as long as you do that. I should let you go, the suppression hearing is in an hour, I'm sure you need to prepare with your attorney." Tucker smiled getting to his feet.

"Thank you." Olivia said shaking his hand before leaving as quick as she could.

****

**Suppression Hearing, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 22nd 2008**

**11.58 am**

Olivia and Miranda Pond walked into the courtroom with their heads held high. They were hopeful that this tactic would work in their favour and they hoped they had prepared enough to make Judge Petrovsky see that putting Melly on the stand was just cruel.

"Please be seated." Petrovsky called. "Detective Benson, you wish to be heard on the motion to quash the testimony of Melissa Benson?"

"I do your honour." Olivia stood up from the table that was normally kept for the defendant and their lawyer.

"You have the floor." Petrovsky told her and she stepped forward so she was standing straight in front of the judge.

"Your Honour, My Daughter Melly is just five years old. She is wise beyond her years when it comes down to the law because of my job, she enjoys trying to understand how the law works here in New York however she is still just a baby. What she saw when she found the body of Georgia Bishop is something that she will probably remember for the rest of her life. I ask you to think of the trauma she will endure if she has to repeat this story over and over again when she has begun to forget about it and push it to the back of her mind. To make her sit in front of a grand jury and then a civil jury would be beyond cruel, I understand the peoples need for her to testify but Georgia Bishop is dead, no harm can come to her now but Melly is very much alive, very much hurting and traumatised. Please don't make her suffer this any longer than is necessary." Olivia nodded her head as she finished.

"Thank you Detective you may be seated." Petrovsky nodded back.

"Well done." Miranda whispered as Olivia wiped away the tears that had built in her eyes.

"People?"

"Melissa Benson's testimony is key in giving the jury a visual on how Georgia Bishop was found. We are also aware of the trauma that could be inflicted on Melissa Benson and would make sure she was talking to a psychiatrist before and after to make sure she was alright. We wouldn't call such a young child if it wasn't necessary your honour. Melissa Benson is the person who found Georgia Bishop and it is always the first responding that testifies to the position of the body. Melissa was deemed competent to stand in the witness box, she understands that she must tell the truth and I am sure she understands that her testimony would get justice for Georgia Bishop let's not forget that is what we are trying to achieve, she may be dead, but she and her family deserve justice." Alex replied and she sat down beside Casey with a satisfied look upon her face.

"I am calling for a recess of fifteen minutes while I think over the motion." Judge Petrovsky banged the gavel and rushed out of the courtroom.

"Olivia..." Alex sighed coming over to the defence table with Casey.

"What?" Olivia asked not in the mood to argue with her best friends over this.

"We're really sorry. Don't be upset with us, we're just doing our job." Alex explained.

"In the process hurting my baby." Olivia replied. "That's not ok with me Alex I'm sorry, I don't want to argue with you, you two are my best friends but right now I'm here as a parent and you're here as ADA's not as friends." Olivia explained further.

"Ok, just whatever the verdict we are sorry." Casey replied before taking back her seat.

"Do you have any idea which way this will go?" Olivia asked.

"None." Miranda replied honestly.

The fifteen minutes felt like a lot longer but when Judge Petrovsky finally emerged Olivia was shaking like a leaf.

"Please stand." Petrovsky said and Olivia, Miranda, Alex and Casey all stood up to hear the verdict. "When I first heard the motion and the grounds for the motion I was unsure whether the grounds were significant. However, after hearing Detective Benson, a mother concerned about her child's mental wellbeing I understood the grounds of the motion and for that reason I grant the motion to quash ..." Olivia let out a sigh of relief, a breath she hadn't been sure she was holding. "Detective your daughter will not have to testify in this case."

"Thank you your honour." Olivia replied a smile on her face that she couldn't hide.

Petrovsky left the room as Olivia and Miranda shared a celebratory embrace.

"Thank you Miranda!" She cried feeling so grateful to the defence attorney.

"No problem Olivia and if you get any crap about this just call me ok?" She smiled.

"Of course." Olivia smiled back.

"Now I have to prepare for a civil suit so I'll call you." She smiled.

"Ok bye." Olivia smiled as the attorney hurried off.

"Well congratulations Olivia." Alex said coming over to the Detective.

"I would thank you if you were actually pleased for me now if you don't mind I have to go to work." Olivia sighed picking up her purse.

She walked out without a second glance grabbing her phone from her belt and dialling Elliot.

"Hey El. We won, Melly doesn't have to appear in court." Olivia smiled down the phone. "Ok baby I'll see you in a bit, bye."

She rushed off knowing she was in a lot of hot water with Cragen, but she didn't care, she was just doing her duty as a mother not as a cop.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 22nd 2008**

**1.45 pm**

When Olivia walked into the bullpen she knew she was in a heap of trouble. Captain Cragen and Ed Tucker were both stood by the door to Cragen's office and they motioned for her to follow them in. She threw her keys and purse down on the desk and calmly went inside.

"Well?" She asked once the door was shut behind her.

"I heard we should congratulate you on your marvellous performance at the suppression hearing." Cragen replied sarcastically.

"I did what I had to do for my daughter." Olivia replied. "Lieutenant I thought this wasn't going any further?" Olivia asked turning to face him.

"It wouldn't have had you lost. I didn't think you would win." Ed Tucker replied honestly.

"Oh great." Olivia sighed. "So what's the verdict on this end?"

"Suspended one week without pay." Cragen replied.

"Fine." Olivia replied removing her gun and shield from her belt.

"Fine?" Tucker asked both him and Cragen visibly shocked.

"It's a small price to pay for making sure my daughter doesn't get further traumatised." Olivia explained as she dropped the gun and shield on Cragen's desk.

"Wow Olivia I really expected you to fight back." Tucker replied rubbing the back of his head uncomfortable with her reaction.

"Oh I will, once I've spoken to my lawyer, I want to make sure the suspension is justified and if it is then I will accept it if not then expect a visit." Olivia replied without any hesitation.

"Ah right now I see." Tucker sighed.

"So you do think the suspension is unfair?" Cragen asked.

"Yes I do Captain. I didn't do what I did as a Detective, I did what I had to as a Mother." Olivia replied.

"The line between the two is too blurred to comprehend Detective Benson." Cragen replied using Detective Benson as she had called him Captain.

"It may be for you, it isn't for me. If I was just a cop, Melly would be in that box but I'm not, I am her mother and I wasn't going to allow anyone to traumatise her without a fight, now if I am suspended I would like to leave now." Olivia replied.

"Ok Detective Benson we will see you in one weeks time, I hope you take the week to really think about what you did." Tucker replied.

"I will, doubt it will change my opinion on what I did though." Olivia replied.

"You're too stubborn for your own good Olivia." Cragen replied.

"It's never a bad thing." She said grabbing the door and leaving.

"Well?" Elliot asked as she grabbed her car keys and purse and gathered what she needed from her desk.

"Suspended for one week." She replied.

"What?" Fin gasped having heard her.

"Apparently Cops shouldn't stop their kids from testifying." Olivia spat angrily seeing Cragen and Tucker watch her.

"Cap is this a joke?" Elliot asked getting to his feet and looking at his superior.

"No. Don't question it Elliot." Cragen replied.

"Don't ... Cap she had every right to do what she did, she had to think of her daughter, your granddaughter..."

"That's enough Detective." Cragen snapped.

"You do realise she isn't going to forgive you for this for a very long time." Elliot told him.

"Carry on and you can join her for a week." Tucker replied.

Elliot gave them one last menacing look before going back to his desk. He wished he was suspended too, that way Olivia wouldn't be bored and going out of her mind sat at home alone.

** just wanted to show off how much I know about American Law ;) I'm only joking I'm just trying to find new places to explore within the story and I found myself going for Melly testifying but then I changed my mind and had to undo it somehow and this was the perfect way, next chapter is the big argument with Cragen!**

**Please Review!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 22nd 2008**

**2.38 pm**

Olivia was sat on the couch with Dani having just told her everything that had happened leading to her suspension.

"I was actually thinking on the way here, if you want to take the week off, or just a few days, I'll still pay you and as long as you're back by Monday evening for me to go back to work on Tuesday there shouldn't be a problem." Olivia smiled at the redhead nanny who had become a member of the family.

"I'd like that, I can go and visit my parents in Jersey." Dani smiled back.

"You can take your SUV with you too, it's not like I need it." Olivia added.

"Thank you I appreciate it, I'll call my Mom later and leave tomorrow after Melly's gone to school, gives me time to tell her that I'm going to be away too." Dani replied.

"Yeah ... oh who is this now?" Olivia groaned getting to her feet as the doorbell had just rang.

She had some ideas who it was, and one was confirmed when she peeked through the spy hole.

"What do you want?" She asked opening the door.

"A chance to talk to you, please?" Cragen asked looking up at the young detective that he loved.

"Why? You did all the talking and I'm suspended, why bother coming here?" Olivia asked not wanting to talk to him when she was still so rattled.

"Please Olivia, give me five minutes of your time?" He asked almost pleading.

"Fine, come in." She sighed opening the door and disappearing into the mouth of the house.

He quickly followed.

"I'm going into the library Dani, don't disturb us please." Olivia said poking her head round the living room door.

"No problem, I'll go and pack." She smiled knowing if she was in her room then she couldn't over hear anything Olivia didn't want her to know.

Olivia led the way to the library. She sat down on one of the couches and Cragen took the one facing her.

"Well?" She asked just wanting to get this over with.

"I came to apologise..."

"Why?" She interrupted. "Why do you feel the need to apologise?"

"You're like my daughter Olivia please don't make this harder than it is, I had no choice, Tucker was up my ass and I could do nothing about it." Cragen explained.

"What? You're my superior officer and you should have fought my corner." Olivia replied.

"I couldn't, everything he said was right Olivia, you forgot you were a cop and fought like a mother, there was nothing I can do to defend your actions." Cragen sighed.

"Are you sure about that? Because the little girl who would have been traumatised is the little girl who calls you granddad, she loves you and you would have let her sit in a box and tell people what she saw over and over again and have to endure a cross examination too. Did that cross your mind or were you too busy being a cop?" Olivia asked.

"That's unfair Olivia of course I thought about it." Cragen replied.

"Didn't seem like it!" Olivia replied angrily. "It didn't sound like you put up an argument that a five year old would be traumatised, a five year old you claim to love as your own flesh and blood!"

"Claim? I do love her like she was my flesh and blood in the same way I love you as if you were my flesh and blood Olivia, sometimes though I can't do much to help you!" Cragen snapped back.

"It doesn't feel like it though Pops, it feels like you always put being a cop first, I couldn't do that to Melly but you could do it to me." Olivia sighed, trying to hide the tears stinging her eyes.

"Olivia... I'd never put being your Captain over being your Father." Cragen sighed going over to sit beside her.

She moved away, turning her body completely away from him so he couldn't see her cry.

"Olivia ..." He placed a hand on her shoulder and felt her shaky cry. "Please Olivia talk to me. Help me understand what you're thinking." He was pleading.

"I'm just hormonal I'm fine." She replied not understanding herself why she was so upset over this.

"Olivia I am sorry, Tucker took it out of my hands but maybe taking a week to yourself won't be such a bad thing." Cragen replied.

"I know, I'm sorry." She said turning to face him.

He couldn't stop himself from wrapping his arms around her and she fell into the embrace overcome with emotion.

"I don't know what's wrong with me!" She laughed through her tears.

"You said it yourself, you're hormonal." Cragen laughed wiping one of her tears.

"I'm sorry if I caused you any problems with IAB." Olivia sighed.

"Nothing I can't handle, sorry you're suspended."

"Nothing I can't handle." She replied with a smile.

"Doesn't look good in your jacket." Cragen sighed.

"I know, but compared to everything else in there its minor." Olivia laughed thinking of the notes that says she shot her gun.

"Good point." He smiled glad to see she'd cheered up. "There's actually something else I wanted to talk to you about." He said.

"Oh, ok." She replied seeing it was something serious.

"Well, there's no way to tip toe around this so I'm just coming out with it." He said.

"Well tell me then." She replied on edge about what he would say.

"I was going to ask you if you would mind if I asked Anne to marry me." He said gently in case she wouldn't be happy.

"What? You want to ... of course you can! Wow I'm shocked!" Olivia spluttered.

"So it's ok with you?" He asked.

"Yes! Absolutely! It's very early isn't it?" She asked realising they hadn't been together long.

"When you're my age life is too short to hang about." Cragen replied with a smile.

"Wow, Pops! Oh wow I don't know what else to say!" Olivia grinned wrapping her arms around him.

"I want you to be there ... when I ask her." He said as he returned the embrace.

"Of course!" Olivia smiled, she was very excited for the man she called Dad.

"And Elliot and Melly too, you're my family." He explained.

"Of course, when are you planning this for?" Olivia asked.

"Tonight, I've booked a table at Chico's for the six of us, Tammy being the sixth of course." Cragen replied.

"Ok what time?" Olivia asked.

"For seven, gives everyone a chance to get ready, I've told her I'm taking the family out so she knows we're going but obviously she doesn't know why." Cragen replied.

"Ok, I'll make sure we're there." Olivia grinned, she was ecstatic.

"Well I best head back to the one six and I'll see you later." Cragen smiled putting his hat on his head.

"We'll be there." She smiled leading him to the front door.

Once he was gone she texted Elliot the news before going up to find Dani.

"Hey Dani, we won't be here for dinner tonight so you can have the rest of the day to do what you want." Olivia smiled.

"Things go well with your Captain then?" She asked.

"Yeah, he's going to ask Mom to marry him." She smiled happily.

"Oh wow that's great news!" Dani beamed.

"It is if she says yes." Olivia replied before heading out of the room.

She went to Melly's room first and chose her a dress to wear that evening. She chose a pink party dress, the same one she'd worn on her fifth birthday Olivia had spent hours choosing the dress for Melly to wear at her party.

Then she went into her own room, digging through the wardrobe for Elliot's best shirt so it could be ironed and find a dress of her own to wear. She barely ever wore dresses, because of her job it was just impractical and she loved being in Jeans or slacks with a nice t-shirt.

She tried on a few of her dresses and settled for a tight day dress in grey that showed off her growing baby bump with some beads for her arm and neck to making it more suitable for the evening.

"I could do that." Dani said when she saw Olivia ironing.

"No it's ok, I need to do something but sit around!" Olivia laughed.

"Ok." Dani smiled. "Coffee?"

"Yeah please." Olivia smiled as she hung Elliot's shirt on a hanger.

"Ok do you want me to get Melly from homework club?" Dani asked as she switched on the kettle.

"No, I'll go. Will be nice for her to have me pick her up for a change." Olivia smiled knowing it would be nice for her to be in the car with her daughter listening to her day in school.

"Ok no problem, I'm all pack, I'm going to leave tonight so I'll be gone when you get back." Dani explained.

"No problem, you have fun with your parents." Olivia smiled.

"I'll try, but I'll probably be back before Saturday." She replied.

"Oh how come?" Olivia asked nosily.

"I just don't get on with my parents, they wished I'd done something different with school, gone to law school or something they just didn't get that I wanted to work with children, I mean I love this job and they don't get that. I'm sure by Saturday I will have had enough of the arguments." Dani explained openly.

"Parents." Olivia sighed, she was thinking of both her biological parents and the two people who had become her parents.

"Exactly, so don't be surprised if I end up back here sooner than planned." Dani laughed.

"Well you're always welcome here, this is your home as much as it is mine." Olivia smiled and she reached over and hugged the redheaded young woman.

"Thanks Olivia, I couldn't have asked for a better family to work for." She smiled embracing the older woman back.

Olivia let her go so that she could make the coffee while Olivia finished the ironing before collecting Melly.

****

**Chico's, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 22nd 2008**

**6.59 pm**

"I don't understand why I'm so nervous?" Olivia whispered to Elliot as they were shown to their seats.

"Because this could go either way, if she says no and breaks his heart you're left with a Mom and Dad who aren't talking anymore and then if she says yes, you're Mom and Dad are going to get married." Elliot replied.

"Good point." Olivia laughed just as they reached the table.

Tammy, Cragen and Mrs Jeffries were already seated when they arrived. After greeting each other they all sat down to enjoy their meal.

"So Don tells me you've been suspended Olivia?" Mrs Jeffries began.

Olivia sighed, her mother always seemed to ask awkward questions.

"Yes Mom, I have." Olivia replied taking a sip of her orange juice to hide the flush of anger across her face.

"Something to do with a defence lawyer? Care to explain more than your father and boss did?" She asked, Olivia knew there was no getting out of this one.

"The ADA's are prosecuting the case with the body that she found..." Olivia pointed at Melly without her seeing so that she wouldn't understand what they were talking about. "They wanted her to testify, I didn't want her to testify so I hired a defence attorney to help me stop it from happening." Olivia explained.

"Why didn't you want her to testify?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"It would be traumatising for her, I didn't want her to have to go through it." Olivia replied.

"Oh so did you win your case?" Mrs Jeffries continued wanting to know the ins and outs.

"Yes Mom I did, that's why I got suspended, had I lost then they wouldn't have bothered." Olivia explained.

"It's not quite that straight forward Olivia." Cragen added.

"It's what Tucker said Pops, you were there when he said had I lost then it wouldn't have mattered but because I won he suspended me, he's just trying to make an example of me Mother, nothing to worry about." Olivia replied.

"Who Don?"

"No, Lieutenant Ed Tucker from the Internal Affairs Bureau, the one who covered my back after what I said at Cole's funeral with the Chief of Police." Olivia explained having told Mrs Jeffries all about that.

"Oh I thought he was a nice man." Mrs Jeffries replied.

"He can be, as long as you're doing good but if a cop goes bad he deals with it." Olivia explained.

"Oh so you went bad?" Mrs Jeffries said teasingly.

"Not in that way Mom." Olivia replied. "Stopping Mel from testifying on an SVU case that my co-workers had solved and handed to the prosecution is like turning your back on your team, lucky for me my team understood why I did it even if my superiors didn't." Olivia replied.

"Oh that's good then, so there is no fall back on you."

"No there isn't." Olivia smiled.

"Might I add that I have been talking with Ed Tucker about getting the suspension lifted Olivia, so you may be back at work in a couple of days." Cragen smiled.

"That won't be necessary I've given Dani the week off so unless you're going to let me finish at four to collect Melly from school and not call me out there is no point." Olivia replied honestly.

"That I can do Olivia." He smiled.

"Oh ok then I'll wait with bated breath to hear from you." Olivia replied sarcastically.

As their meal was served the conversation turned to Elliot and Olivia's relationship one topic Olivia would have preferred to avoid.

"So how are you both these days?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Still together Mom." Olivia replied.

"I see that." She quipped back.

"There's nothing more to add." Olivia explained.

"Oh, so you're not thinking of tying the knot?"

Once again she commented after Olivia took a sip of her drink and she was very relieved that her head was turned to the side as she performed her perfect spit take. Elliot choked on his drink causing him a coughing fit.

"Mother its early days, way too early for me and Elliot to be thinking about Marriage!" Olivia replied quickly.

"But you're not getting any younger Olivia, and you have a baby on the way and sending your daughter to Catholic school, you're not sending a very good example."

"Yes Mom but the circumstances are a little different, this baby biologically isn't Elliot's." Olivia replied making sure she said biological as she was very much happy with Elliot being the baby's father.

"No but you weren't married to Cole yet you were still sleeping with him."

"Mom! Please!" Olivia groaned. "Not here, not now, not in front of Melly."

"She doesn't even understand." Mrs Jeffries brushed it off.

"Yes but this is not a conversation to be had over dinner." Olivia replied hoping that Mrs Jeffries would drop the subject.

"All I'm saying is dear you should be thinking of marriage before the baby gets here and you're too busy being a parent." Mrs Jeffries said brushing it off like it wasn't a big issue.

"I was with Cole for a year and a half before he proposed." Olivia commented.

"Yes and he bought the ring after you'd been together just a year, I told him to do it much sooner but he kept saying he was too scared you'd say no." Mrs Jeffries replied.

"Good, I'm glad your Son had some common sense." Olivia quipped.

"What to wait?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"No, to not bend down to your every will Mother, had he asked me sooner you'd have us married within days." Olivia replied quickly.

"Now that's unfair."

"No it isn't it's the truth, it's too soon for me and Elliot to be talking about marriage Mom, if ever it happens it will be a long way away." Olivia replied.

Elliot looked at Cragen, both of them unsure if they were comfortable with this conversation.

As desert was served Olivia could see that Cragen was far more shifty and nervous. She couldn't help but smile and hope that the lecture her Mom had been giving her about marriage would ring true for herself.

"Olivia, come and powder your nose." Mrs Jeffries said getting to her feet.

"Excuse us." Olivia added as she followed her Mom away from the table.

"It's been a lovely evening hasn't it?" Mrs Jeffries smiled as they made their way over to the bathroom.

"Yes, it's wonderful that we can all be out together as a family." Olivia smiled having really enjoyed herself, especially knowing that Cragen was going to ask Mrs Jeffries to marry him.

When they returned to the table both Elliot and Cragen looked shift as well as Melly and Tammy.

"Mommy, Granny." Melly said grabbing both women's attention.

"What is it Melly?" Olivia asked turning to her daughter.

The five year old held two black boxes in her hand, one towards Mrs Jeffries and one towards Olivia. Both women looked from the five year old to their man to each other's man, both men smiling nervously.

"Don?"

"Elliot?"

Both women spoke at the exact same time as Melly thrusted a box into their hand.

"You should check to make sure she hasn't mixed them up." Cragen noted making both women open the boxes.

"No she hasn't." Elliot smiled as Olivia stared down at the ring in the box.

Everything she had said about it being too soon rushed into the forefront of her mind, did she really think it was too soon or had she just been saying it to get her Mom off her back.

"Don?" Mrs Jeffries said snapping Olivia out of her thoughts.

"We're not getting any younger Anne, I'd really like it if you would do me the honour and become my wife." Cragen told her.

Olivia, Elliot, Melly and Tammy looked at Mrs Jeffries holding their breath for her to answer.

"I will of course become your wife Don, I'm honoured that you would ask me!" She smiled and she reached over and kissed him before embracing him.

As Olivia smiled she was very much aware of the question she was yet to answer, she looked down into her hand at the gold diamond band and wondered if marrying Elliot was even an option, she hadn't really thought about it, she couldn't help but finger the ring around her neck reminding herself that she had only buried her fiancé three weeks ago.

"I understand if it's too soon Olivia, I do, I just didn't want to wait." Elliot told her.

She looked up at him. Her eyes meeting his sapphire orbs and she knew, she knew what her answer was.

"Olivia, please make me the happiest man on this planet and marry me?" Elliot asked.

"Yes Elliot, God yes." She replied as her eyes filled with tears.

They reached over Melly who was sat between them and kissed passionately.

"I'm so happy!" Mrs Jeffries smiled as tears fell down her cheeks, she seemed to forget her upper class etiquette at this point.

"Me too." Olivia smiled as she wiped at her own tears.

"But how?" Olivia asked looking from Cragen to Elliot to Melly and back again.

"This is quite the story." Elliot smiled sitting back in his chair and nodding to Cragen.

"Elliot came to me this morning, he asked me permission to ask you to marry him." He began happily. "I had already decided that I wanted Anne to marry me but I hadn't decided when where or how. So I told Elliot that I would be happy if he asked you and that I was honoured that he asked for my blessing too and then I explained to him that I wanted to ask your permission to ask Anne to be my wife. We spent a good couple of hours planning this and waiting for the right time to give Melly the rings and we both knew how you both disappear to the ladies room before desert and it was the perfect time to give Melly the rings." Cragen explained.

"So when I called you, you already knew?" Olivia asked turning to Elliot.

"Yup, why do you think I was shifting uncomfortably while you and Mrs Jeffries were talking marriage, I was praying you were only saying those things to get her to change the topic." Elliot replied. "Now are the two of you going to put the rings on so we can know if they fit?" He added seeing both women just holding the open boxes in their hands.

Olivia went first, as she took the band out she noticed that it was engraved and smiled.

"Semper fi." She whispered.

"Always faithful." He smiled back as she slipped the ring onto her finger, it fit like a glove.

Mrs Jeffries slipped on her ring to find it to be a perfect fit.

"Now then let me see Olivia." She smiled holding out her right hand for Olivia to pass over her left.

Olivia did as she was told and as soon as Mrs Jeffries and Tammy had finished admiring her ring she took Mrs Jeffries to look at hers. It was a simple gold band with very small rubies, perfect for an older couple.

When they finally paid the bill and headed for home Olivia was happier than she had been in a very long time.

****

**Benson-Stabler residency Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, July 22nd 2008**

**11.35 pm**

"I don't think Melly will be happy when I wake her for school tomorrow." Olivia laughed as she climbed into the bed beside Elliot.

"It will be nice not to have her bounce on us for a change." Elliot laughed back.

"I actually need to have a word with her about that, she kneed me in the stomach this morning, it was just an accident but if I explain to her she needs to be more careful now she'll understand." Olivia smiled as Elliot rubbed her stomach gently.

"Yeah, she's a clever kid." Elliot replied.

"Yeah she is. I can't believe you asked me to marry you Elliot." Olivia said as she rotated her hand making the moonlight catch on the diamond.

"I've wanted you to be my wife since the day we met, I mean, it doesn't feel too soon for me, actually feels like we've been waiting way to long." Elliot explained.

"Yeah that's true. I was only saying those things to shut my Mom up." Olivia replied knowing that hearing her say those things probably made him a lot more nervous.

"I know." He replied.

"I love you Elliot." She grinned as she started to fall into a gentle sleep.

"I love you too and our baby." He said as he too fell into a peaceful sleep.

** is a really big jump of about seven weeks into the next chapter! So be aware to check the dates!**

**Please Review!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**So from July to September, that's the jump!**

****

**Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 6th 2008**

**10.41 am**

"I don't want to have my haircut Mommy!" Melissa moaned for the hundredth time that morning as she held her Mother's hand walking down the street.

"Melly we're talking about a very small hair cut to get rid of the dead bit's remember Mommy explained and showed you in the mirror." Olivia replied giving Elliot a knowing smile, they'd both been trying to tell her all day that a haircut was no big deal.

"I don't want too!" Melly spat angrily.

"That's enough Melissa, you're having a haircut and that is the end of it!" Olivia snapped, it was too hot and tiring to be arguing.

Olivia rested her hand on her twenty three week bump, she wasn't enjoying the pregnancy at all with the hot weather they had been having this summer, she was definitely cranky.

"But Mommy..."

"But Mommy nothing Melly, Mommy's having one too and then you can see that a hair cut is a good thing." Olivia replied, she would be having a trim to tidy up her long hair, she liked it long and knew it would only grow more if she cut it a little, she'd even tried explaining that to Melly. She'd be starting first grade this year and Olivia couldn't help but be excited for her daughter.

"Ok Mommy am I still allowed an ice cream afterwards?" She asked looking at Elliot who had gone with the bribery technique.

"Only if you do it without arguing!" Elliot replied with a smile.

****

**McDonald's Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 6th 2008**

**12.37 pm**

"See? Mommy told you having a haircut wasn't that bad." Olivia smiled as Melly tucked into her McFlurry ice cream.

"I know, Sorry Mommy." She pouted making both Olivia and Elliot smile.

"So can you remember what else we need to get today Melly?" Olivia asked, they'd been planning this day all summer as Olivia and Elliot had both booked it off before hand.

"School shoes then the park to meet Granddad, Granny and Tammy." Melly replied with a grin.

"Well done can you remember what time we're see Granddad, Granny and Tammy?" Olivia asked.

"Uh... two o'clock." She answered after a moment's thought.

"Good and how do we know if it's two o'clock?" Olivia continued as Melly ate her ice cream.

"The big hand is on the number twelve and the little hand on number two." Melly replied with a mouthful of ice cream.

"Well done Melly but don't speak with your mouthful baby it's rude." Olivia smiled taking a paper towel and wiping around Melly's mouth.

"You sound like granny." Melly said making both Elliot and Olivia laugh.

"Good, maybe you'll learn some manners then Misses." She smiled.

****

**Central Park, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 6th 2008**

**1.56 pm**

"Can I show Granny and Granddad my new shoes?" Melly asked.

"You can show them when we go home for dinner ok? They're in the car now." Olivia smiled as she held onto her daughter's hand as she led the way across to the meeting point.

"Granddad!" Melly yelled seeing the old man and she let go of Olivia's hand and broke out in a run.

"MELISSA JASMINE BENSON STOP RIGHT THERE!" Olivia screamed before breaking out into a run with Elliot, Melly knew she was in trouble.

Olivia knelt down in front of her so they were face to face.

"Don't you ever do that again ok? Mommy hadn't see Granddad to make sure it was safe for you to run baby and that could have been anyone." Olivia explained her heart hammering in her chest she always thought the worse.

"Ok I'm sorry Mommy." Melly replied at the verge of tears.

"I know baby and Mommy's sorry for yelling she just got scared ok?" Olivia pulled Melly into her arms for a hug before allowing her to run off to Don Cragen who Olivia could see now.

"And we have all this to do again." Elliot laughed gently as he wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulder.

"Hey Pops, Hi Mom." Olivia smiled greeting the two she called parents.

"Olivia." Tammy smiled giving the Detective a hug.

"Hey Tam'." Olivia smiled accepting the embrace.

Elliot, Tammy and Cragen rushed off to play ball with Melly leaving the two older women sat on an old picnic blanket underneath a sun umbrella.

"So Mom how's the wedding planning going?" Olivia asked knowing there was only one week till the big day.

"Good, you and I need to go shopping with Melly and Tammy get your outfits for the day." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

"Ok, just let me know when and I'll get some time off work and take Melly out of school for an afternoon." Olivia smiled.

"Can you do Monday?" She asked hopeful.

"Monday it is then Mom." Olivia replied.

"Good, I want Melly in a dress, lilac and then I want you and Tammy in Lilac suits with white tops underneath but we're going to have to find you one that goes over the bump of yours." Mrs Jeffries grinned resting a hand on Olivia's stomach. "I can't wait to find out what sex my grandbaby is."

"Neither can I so I can start making up the bedroom." Olivia laughed thinking about everything she had written down that she needed to do for the baby before it arrived.

"As long as you let Don and I buy the crib and changer we're happy." Mrs Jeffries grinned.

"Mom I don't need you to do that, I've not exactly got any money worries." Olivia replied thinking to the small fortune that Cole had left her in his will meaning that if she wanted she could retire from her job and live happily ever after without any money worries ever.

"I know that but I want to, we want to." Mrs Jeffries replied. "What was ... kick?"

"Yeah." Olivia laughed, Mrs Jeffries hand had been exactly where the baby decided to kick.

"So come on I want to know all about the pregnancy, how is it all going?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Well baby thinks Mommy is a punch bag or a soccer ball, I have severe heartburn all the time, the nausea has passed thank God, I'm moody with everyone and a lot more teary which is driving me mad, I'm not needing the bathroom as often but apparently that will come back in the last few weeks, I'm tired all the time, I've had nosebleeds which is apparently normal in pregnancy but there is nothing worse when you're rattled up in an interrogation room and then your nose starts to bleed. My ankles and feet are swollen by the end of the day too and my back aches a lot." Olivia explained as fully as she could.

"The joys of pregnancy!" Mrs Jeffries laughed.

"I just hope the little bugger is in a good position when we see the OBGYN on Friday so I can find out the sex, I'm bored of referring to the child as it or baby." Olivia laughed.

"I bet, what cravings have you had?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Coffee, I've switched to decaff because I'm drinking so much of the damn thing." Olivia smiled.

"You have a busy week ahead of you Olivia, are sure you don't want to take it off? I'm sure Don would understand with how busy you'll be." Mrs Jeffries replied.

"Mom, I'm going to be bored for the last month of my pregnancy, please don't ask me to take time off work, I'm meeting you Monday to get the suits, then I'm seeing the OBGYN on Friday and then you're getting married on Saturday. It's not that busy." Olivia replied not wanting to argue with her mother.

"Ok, and you and Melly are sleeping in my house with Tammy on Friday?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Yes, Pops is sleeping at our house with the Stabler clan too." Olivia explained knowing that the Stabler children would be arriving that evening for a two week stay.

"Good."

"Munch and Fin will be there too." Olivia added trying to calm Mrs Jeffries worries.

"Ok, I'm so looking forward to this." Mrs Jeffries grinned.

"I know and it's going to be a perfect day." Olivia smiled thinking about the small Catholic Church wedding that would take place next Saturday.

"In seven days I become Mrs Cragen." She laughed.

"I thought you weren't taking on his name?" Olivia asked turning to look at her.

"I'm not, not really but it will be my name legally." Mrs Jeffries shrugged.

"Very true." Olivia laughed.

"So how are the wedding plans coming along on your end?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Well the baby's due on the ninth of January and so we've decided on an April wedding, more than enough time for me to lose all the extra baby weight I've gained and will continue to gain." Olivia replied.

"A spring wedding, that will be lovely, is that as far as you've gotten?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"No, it's near enough planned down the last detail, I've chosen the colour coral, you know like a peachy pink and we're having a very big NYPD Catholic Church wedding followed by a wedding breakfast and evening party. We're going all out." Olivia explained.

"Good. My wedding is small because it's our second and we just want our family and friends there but I'm glad you're having the big white wedding, you are wearing a dress I take it?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Yes, actually I've already bought it, I was in town a couple of weeks ago and saw the dress in the window and I knew that was the one I would marry Elliot in so I went straight in and paid for it, I couldn't try it because it's in my normal size so it would never close on me but I know it's the right one." Olivia explained.

"Good." Mrs Jeffries smiled. "I'm so pleased."

****

**Just a filler really here!**

**Please Review!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**They're not happy for long I just want to get this out the way and then on to the juicy bits!**

****

**OBGYN, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, September 12th 2008**

**9.26 am**

Olivia and Elliot sat in the waiting room of the OBGYN. She was nervous, she always was even though this was her third ultrasound scan. Her legs bounced up and down as she held onto Elliot's hand. He stroked her with his thumb trying to help calm her down but also calm himself down as he was nervous too.

"Olivia Benson."

"That's me." She replied getting to her feet with Elliot.

"Room number five, Doctor Holloway will be with you momentarily." The woman smiled.

"Thank you." Olivia replied making her way towards room five, she knew where it was now having been there before.

Once in the room she sat at the edge of the table while Elliot took the seat behind.

"Hello Olivia." Doctor Holloway smiled coming into the room.

"Hi." Olivia replied.

"Now if you just want to roll up your top and lie down for me." Doctor Holloway told Olivia as she turned on the ultrasound machine and pulled on latex gloves. "This will be a little cold." She added as she grabbed the tube of stuff that Olivia referred to as 'Belly Jello'.

She squirmed as the stuff was put on her stomach and held Elliot's hand as the Doctor began trying to get a good picture.

"Here we go, there's the baby." She smiled pointing at the screen.

"Look El." Olivia smiled even though he was looking.

"Now would you like to know the sex?" Doctor Holloway asked.

"Yes." Olivia didn't hesitate in answering.

"Ok it looks to me like you're having a little girl." Doctor Holloway smiled.

"El!" She gasped happily, not that she wouldn't have been happy either way.

"A girl." He smiled staring at the screen.

"Nicole." Olivia replied.

"Nicole." Elliot smiled looking at Olivia now, she'd decided on that name for a girl as soon as she was a hundred percent

"Nicole after her father Cole, Anne after her grandmother." Olivia smiled.

"Nicole Andrea Benson, our daughter!" Elliot beamed happily.

"That's a beautiful name, now I just want to check your blood pressure and ask you a few questions." Doctor Holloway smiled turning off the monitor.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, September 12th 2008**

**11.24 am**

Olivia and Elliot arrived the precinct with smiles on their faces, they'd spent the drive over discussing what they would need for their baby girl.

"Olivia you seem happy." Cragen smiled.

"I am, look." Olivia handed Cragen the newest ultrasound picture.

"Wow, so much clearer than the last." Cragen noted.

"That, there, is your granddaughter." Olivia smiled pointing to the head.

"Granddaughter? A girl?"

"Yes, that's Nicole Anne Benson." Olivia replied.

"Olivia that's fantastic I'm sure Anne will be ecstatic!" Cragen beamed.

"I'm sure she will, I'll tell her tonight." Olivia stated.

****

**Jeffries Residency, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, September 12th 2008**

**8.32 pm**

Olivia arrived at the Jeffries residency much later than planned, she'd been working on a case all day and she was very tired and cranky.

"The family are in the living room." Charles drawled when she walked in, she had her own key now and didn't need to knock.

"Thanks Charles." She smiled making her way down the dimly lit corridor to the living room.

"Olivia." Mrs Jeffries smiled seeing her walk in.

"Hi Mom." She smiled embracing the older woman.

"Mommy!" Melly beamed.

Olivia scooped her up into an embrace and kissed her heavily on the cheek, she lived for moments like this.

"Hi Olivia." Tammy smiled as the woman who had become her sister greeted her with an embrace too.

"Hi Liv." Dani smiled, she'd caught on to the nickname Elliot called her by.

"So come on dear, tell me how it went at the OBGYN." Mrs Jeffries smiled as soon as Olivia had sat down.

She pulled out the ultrasound picture and passed it over.

"That's Nicole Anne." Olivia told her.

"Nicole Anne?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Yes, your Granddaughter." Olivia replied.

"You're naming her ..."

"After you and Cole." She smiled making the older woman beam.

"Oh Olivia I'm so pleased and so happy! This has made my day!"

Mrs Jeffries handed Olivia back the picture so she could show her eldest daughter.

"Look Melly, that's your sister and her name is Nicole." Olivia said pointing to the picture.

"That's my sister?" Melly ask.

"Yeah, the baby in Mommy's belly is a girl." Olivia replied.

"Cool, hi Nikki." Melly smiled waving at Olivia's belly.

"Nikki." Olivia beamed thinking it was adorable that Melly had already shortened her sisters name.

"Melly and Nikki, that's so cute." Dani replied.

"If I have a third child I think I'll have to keep up the trend and call it something with an O." Olivia laughed realising that Nicole's initial came straight after Melissa's.

"Now that would be hilarious!" Tammy laughed.

"Ok Mom are you excited for tomorrow?" Olivia asked wanting to get on to the wedding talk.

"I wouldn't use the term excited Olivia, but yes I am very much looking forward to tomorrow." Mrs Jeffries smiled, the truth was she was excited to become Don Cragen's wife but she would never admit to it.

"And you're all ready?" Olivia asked knowing the woman before her was having last minute jitters.

"Yes, the flowers will arrive at ten we'll be at the church at eleven Olivia everything is more than ready." She smiled, Olivia could see that she was glowing.

"Good." Olivia smiled. "Now Dani I believe you bought the bags where is the pink holdall?" Olivia asked turning to the redheaded nanny.

"I'll get it for you." She smiled. "Excuse me."

As they waited for Dani to return they listened to Melly thought about her day and how her new teacher Miss Lorraine had been helping her with her song for the wedding as Mrs Jeffries had asked for Melly to sing during the service.

"Here we go." Dani smiled bringing the bag in.

"Now Mom," Olivia smiled turning to the older woman. "I know you said you didn't want a fuss but Melly, Tammy and I have been working on this for a while." Olivia explained as she opened the bag.

"Olivia ..."

"Don't start Mother." Olivia said firmly as she pulled out a silver gift bag. "Here is something old."

The older woman gently took the bag and opened it taking out a small black box that she recognised.

"My old locket?"

"Open it." Olivia explained.

The woman's hands trembled a little as she opened the delicate silver oval.

"Olivia!" She gasped. "That's wonderful, thank you."

Olivia and Tammy had found a picture of Cole as a young boy and had a copy made, in the mean time having it made a lot clearer and in the other side they'd placed a picture of Michael so that they could be close to the woman's heart on her wedding day.

"Here is your something new." Olivia smiled picking up another small gift bag and handing it to Mrs Jeffries.

The woman opened the box and took the small golden bracelet from the box.

"Cole, Tammy, Olivia, Michael, Melissa, Nicole." Mrs Jeffries read the engravings around the outside.

"Each stone represents our birthstone's, it's why Michael's and Melissa's is exactly the same." Olivia explained.

"It's wonderful!" She smiled putting the bracelet straight on with Tammy's help.

"Here is your something borrowed." Olivia explained picking up the next gift bag and handing it over.

Mrs Jeffries once again opened it and pulled out a black box, when she opened it, tears stung her eyes.

"I wanted you to have that with you tomorrow." Olivia explained as the woman pulled the golden shield from the box.

"This ... I don't ... Thank you." She smiled knowing having Cole's shield with her for the day would be like having a piece of him by her side.

"Lastly, your something blue." Olivia smiled handing the last gift bag to her Mother.

"Olivia?" She asked pulling a tiny piece of blue cloth from a small black box.

"You said you wanted a piece of Cole and a piece of Michael with you tomorrow. That's a piece from his blanky." Olivia explained.

"Thank you Olivia, oh my goodness thank you so much!" She cried trying to hide her tears from the group in front of her.

"You're welcome, tomorrow is going to be perfect." Olivia beamed.

****

**Jeffries Residency, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 13th 2008**

**10.04 am**

The flowers had just arrived and Tammy was putting on Olivia's buttonhole rose. They both knew that the men at Olivia's house would also be delivered these roses so that they would all match. Dani was dressed in an emerald green day frock that looked beautiful with her red hair and hazel eyes and she was running around taking photographs of everyone as they got ready.

"Why am I nervous?" Olivia asked as she straightened out her suit jacket over her twenty four week bump.

"Because _our_ mother is getting married?" Tammy smiled stretching the 'our' for emphasis.

"I know but, I'm terrified." Olivia laughed.

"Don't let Mom hear you say that she's been complaining all morning that she's too old to do this because of her nerves." Tammy beamed as Melly skipped into the room holding her bouquet. As Olivia's phone bleeped she smiled seeing the name of the sender.

_Cragen's terrified she's not going to show. Tell me something to soothe his nerves. I love you. El xx_

She beamed and quickly wrote out her reply.

_She'll be there, even if I have to carry her, she'll be there. Love you too, Liv xx_

Olivia sent the text just as Mrs Jeffries walked into the room.

"Well?" She asked nervously, no one had been allowed to see her outfit till now.

"You look amazing mom!" Olivia smiled tears building in her eyes.

"Thank you Olivia, what do you think Tammy?" She asked turning to her younger Daughter who was yet to say a word.

"Mom you look magnificent." Tammy whispered trying to blink back her own tears.

"Thank you." Mrs Jeffries smiled. "Now where are your flowers?" Mrs Jeffries asked seeing the two women weren't holding their violet and white rose bouquets.

"In the box by the door." Tammy replied. "Don't worry Mom nothing is going to go wrong today."

"Tammy's right Mom, today is going to be perfect." Olivia replied.

"I know." She replied even though she was weary of something going wrong.

****

**Benson-Stabler Residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 13th 2008**

**10.04 am**

Captain Don Cragen was pacing the living room floor of Olivia and Elliot's brownstone. He was already dressed and when Elliot walked in with the buttonholes he allowed the younger man to put it on him without complaining.

"She's not going to show!" He groaned almost in agony.

"She will Cap that you have to be certain of." Elliot replied knowing he would be exactly the same on his wedding to Olivia.

"But what if she doesn't, what if she changes her mind. Please call Olivia." He asked.

"I'll send her a text." Elliot replied getting out his phone.

He quickly sent the message and rushed off to make sure Fin and Munch had their rose before coming back into the room too show Cragen the reply Olivia had sent.

"See? Nothing to worry about." Elliot smiled returning the phone to his pocket.

"Stabler! Car's here!" Fin called.

"Come on Cap, you're getting married." Elliot beamed.

Cragen just nodded, too caught up with emotion to trust himself to speak.

****

**En route to the Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 13th 2008**

**10.36 am**

Olivia and Mrs Jeffries rode in the white Rolls Royce together, while Tammy, Dani and Melly rode in the white Limo behind. Mrs Jeffries held a tight grip on Olivia's hand as she tried to calm herself down, she hadn't expected to be this nervous, and she'd been married before it wasn't like it was a big deal. She knew she loved Don Cragen otherwise she wouldn't have said yes in the first place but she couldn't help but have second doubts working their way into her head.

"Mom?" Olivia asked seeing the woman had disappeared into her own thoughts.

"Yes?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Everything's going to be great you know? Don't worry about a thing." Olivia smiled hoping she could calm Mrs Jeffries nerves because all she was doing was making Olivia's nerves peak.

"What if he changes his mind?" Mrs Jeffries asked and Olivia could see that under the makeup Mrs Jeffries was a very sickly shade of white.

"He won't." Olivia smiled. "He's happy with you, he loves you Mom please don't doubt that." Olivia explained giving her hand a comforting squeeze.

"But he was happy before he met me too. He could be happy still without me, he has you and Melly and Elliot what does he need me in his life for?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"I'm not going to answer that because it doesn't need an answer, we're almost there Mom. Everything is going to be just fine.

****

**Blessed Hearts Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 13th 2008**

**10.36 am**

"She's changed her mind hasn't she?" Cragen asked Elliot as they stood at the front of the church.

"No she hasn't. Olivia text me when they left the house Cap and the wedding doesn't start until eleven. Please stop worrying." Elliot replied.

"You've still got the ring?" Cragen asked the second worry coming to the forefront of his mind.

"Of course I have." Elliot replied hitting his pocket where a black box lay.

"Where's Munch and Fin?" Cragen asked another worry coming as soon as the other had subsided.

"Showing people to their seats." Elliot answered with a gentle smile hoping to calm the man before him.

He had never seen Captain Don Cragen so nervous and in all honesty he never wanted to see it again. Elliot thought he looked almost vulnerable and that wasn't a word he'd ever use to describe his Captain. He looked at Cragen, he was wearing coat tails in black with grey pin stripe pants. His lilac cravat was in the right place and perfectly smooth and his white rose with a feather and diamante's stood out against the black coat. Elliot, Munch and Fin were all dressed exactly the same as Don Cragen too. Elliot had laughed so hard when Cragen had told them they would be wearing coat tails but he saw why once all the men were dressed as they were very smart, but he wasn't planning on wearing them to marry Olivia.

****

**Blessed Hearts Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 13th 2008**

**11.02 am**

The women had arrived and once Dani had been taken to her seat meaning Don Cragen would know they had arrived as they got ready to walk down the aisle. Outside the front door of the church Melly stood waiting for Olivia's nod for her to enter. Olivia was hand in hand with Mrs Jeffries, she'd asked Olivia to walk her down the aisle and Olivia had jumped at the chance, she was also in charge of the ring that would be given to Don Cragen. As the song theme from a summer place began to play Olivia nodded at her five year old as a signal for her to begin walking down the aisle, she knew that the wedding was being video recorded as she wouldn't be able to see Melly once the mouth of the church swallowed her.

Everyone in the church smiled as Melly Benson walked smiling down the aisle dropping white and lilac petals along the floor. She remembered the way her grandmother had taught her how to walk and she beamed at Elliot who was smiling at her encouragingly. Her lilac frock was a princess gown with a large white bow that tied at the back. The dressed stopped above her ankles showing off her brilliant white socks and a centimetre heel shoes. As they had practised, once she arrived at the front she stepped to the side opposite Don Cragen and Elliot as Tammy began to walk down the aisle.

Tammy trembled as she began to walk. She also wore a lilac dress but it was more modern and adult like compared to Melly's. It was chiffon with a column line falling down to her feet. She had a thin white bow that tide at the side of the gown and that fell with the length of the gown. She carried white and lilac roses in her hand and focused on getting to the other side of the church and not look around her.

As soon as Tammy stepped beside Melissa the hymn Be Still which would be sung by the church choir began to play making everyone stand up.

"Ready?" Olivia smiled as they stood at the door.

"Ready." Mrs Jeffries smiled.

The men at the front of the church could only smile when they saw Olivia and Mrs Jeffries. Olivia wore a lilac trouser suit with a white shirt beneath it. Her white triangular high heels stood out as did the white rose in her button hole. One hand held beautiful lilac and white roses while the other was wrapped around Mrs Jeffries arm. Mrs Jeffries looked dazzling in an ivory skirt suit and heels. It was simple yet elegant and the large white hat with an ivory feather and lace slightly covering her eye.

When they arrived at the front Olivia passed her Mother's hand to her Father's before stepping to stand beside her daughter who slipped her hand into Olivia's. They waited with bated breath for the beautiful rendition of Be Still came to an end and then the priest stood in front of them.

"Today we are here to witness the joining in matrimony of Captain Donald Cragen and Ms Anne Elizabeth Jeffries. You may be seated as Tammy and Olivia begins the Liturgy of the Word." The priest stepped to the side and Tammy went to stand in front of the couple.

"I would like to read to you the verse chosen by the couple from the Old Testament book Genesis. Chapter Two verse twenty four." Tammy said her visible nerves not heard through her voice which was calm and steady. "Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh." She read before stepping down and allowing Olivia to take her place.

"The second reading will be from the new testament, gospel of Mathew, chapter two verse thirty seven to thirty nine. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself." Olivia stepped back down as Elliot took her place as she rejoined Tammy and Melly's side.

Elliot read out a long Psalm that the couple had chosen together and then he rejoined Munch and Fin as the second Hymn all things bright and beautiful was sang by the entire congregation before the priest stepped up.

"All rise." He said making everyone in the congregation stand up once again and then he turned to the bride and groom.

"Don and Anne, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"We have." They chorused back.

"Will you love and honour each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

"We will." They replied looking into each other's eyes and smiling, the love between them visible to everyone around them.

"Since it is your intention to enter into marriage join your right hands and declare your consent before God and his Church." The priest waited for the couple to join their right hands before continuing. "Now repeat after me Don. I Donald Cragen."

"I Donald Cragen." He repeated.

"Take you Anne Elizabeth Jeffries."

"Take you Anne Elizabeth Jeffries."

"For my lawful wedded wife."

"For my lawful wedded wife." Cragen repeated and Olivia had to blink back tears that had formed in her eyes, she hadn't realised this day was going to be emotional for her seeing the two people she considered parents getting married to one and other.

"To have and to hold from this day forward."

"To have and to hold from this day forward." He continued, his eyes on nothing but Anne Jeffries.

"For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

"For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Cragen repeated with a wide smile upon his face.

"Now Anne, if you'd repeat after me." The priest said turning a little so he was looking at Mrs Jeffries.

Olivia felt a hand slip into hers and found that it was Tammy. She also, like Olivia, had a fresh set of tears in her eyes as she watched her mother get married.

"You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide." The priest smiled. "May we have the rings?" He asked picking up a white silk cushion.

Olivia and Elliot both stepped up and placed the rings side by side on the cushion before returning to his seat.

"Lord, Bless these rings which we bless in your name. Grant those who wear them may always have a deep faith in each other. May they do your will and always live together, in peace, goodwill and love. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord."

"Amen." The congregation replied.

"Now Don take the ring and place it half way down on Anne's finger."

Cragen took the ring and everyone close enough could see how much he was shaking as he did so. He placed the ring halfway down on Anne's finger and waited for the next instructions.

"Repeat after me Don, Anne, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity."

"Anne, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity."

"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."

"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." He smiled before pushing the ring all the way down.

"Now Anne. Don, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity."

"Take this ring as a sign of my love and Fidelity."

"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."

"In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

"Together we recite the Lord's prayer." The priest smiled.

Everyone bowed their heads as they all chanted the Lord's Prayer together. Olivia glanced at Elliot who happened to glance at her at the exact same time, their eyes met and they lingered for a moment smiling but as the word Amen was called they lifted their heads and looked away.

"All rise." The priest called and everyone in the congregation stood. "Don and Anne, you have exchanged vows in front of the church and God, you exchanged rings and now I bless you in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit as you begin life as Man and Wife."

"Amen."

"By the power invested in me by the Church, God and the state of New York I can now pronounce you as Husband and Wife."

"Thanks be to God." Everyone called.

"You may now kiss the bride." He smiled.

The church broke out in a round of applause as Don and Anne shared a gentle kiss. As they broke away they took each other's hand and walked away followed closely by their family.

The rest of the day passed without problem, the meal they shared was perfect for such a beautiful and low key wedding. Olivia couldn't have been happier as couldn't Don and Anne and the rest of the family.


	33. Chapter 33

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Ok now the juicy stuff! Happiness is never permanent in SVU!**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 15th 2008**

**8.58 am**

"Olivia a word?" Cragen called from the door of his office.

Olivia who had only just walked into the bullpen with Elliot wondered what it could be that her Captain wanted. She sighed and dropped her bag onto her desk before taking the walk to the office that many referred to as the walk of death.

"What is it Cap?" She asked as she walked in and shut the door behind her.

"Sit down Olivia." He smiled nodding his head towards the empty chairs in front of his desk.

"Ok, what is it?" She asked as soon as she was sat down, she felt nervous and Cragen looked nervous which was never good news.

"I wanted to ask you if you would now sit behind a desk." Cragen said his voice almost a raspy whisper.

"No Cap! I only have three more weeks in the field before I have to sit behind a desk, please don't ask me to do it now." She replied, she wasn't looking forward to being behind her desk.

"But Olivia ..."

"No. I'm not getting behind a desk. I'm not big so movement isn't an issue and there's more to why you're asking Cap so spill, is it Mom?" She asked.

"No, your Mother knows that you'll be behind a desk at six months and she's content with that but Olivia please, for me." He asked.

"For you? No Cap there's more to this, what aren't you telling me?" She asked just as there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Cragen called, he already knew who it was.

"Captain Cragen." A woman smiled and Olivia recognised her to be Captain Barbra Pierce.

"Barbra." Cragen nodded as Olivia got to her feet.

"Ah Detective Benson, good to see you."

"Captain." Olivia nodded her head and took the hand that was being offered to her before glancing at Cragen. "Are we done?" She asked.

"Not quite Olivia, sit down." He said.

"Don?" Barbra asked.

"I want Olivia to hear this then she'll see why I want her behind a desk for this one." Cragen explained as Barbra Pierce took the seat beside Olivia.

"As you wish, now did you get the jacket?" She asked.

"Yes." Cragen nodded handing it over to Olivia.

She took it and didn't hesitate in opening it.

"So you want Benson behind a desk for this one huh?" Barbra asked as Olivia looked through the file.

"She's carrying my Granddaughter, for both their sakes she needs to be behind a desk for this one." Cragen replied.

"Oh so not the wife's orders?" Barbra teased.

"She doesn't know, if she did she'd have Olivia off for this investigation." Cragen replied.

"And neither one is going to happen Cap', this case is huge and it's my job as an SVU detective ..."

"Olivia there is a very big chance that you'll be blown to smithereens!" Cragen yelled knowing she'd read the jacket now resting on her lap.

"I took a vow ..."

"No Olivia! You didn't say you'd put your kids lives on the line." Cragen shook his head.

"Cap it's a risk that comes with the job. I'm not getting behind a desk and that is my final answer." Olivia replied her voice shaking a little but she remained strong in her face hiding every inch of doubt and fear.

"Fine. Now we need to brief the team and get ready to move out." Cragen sighed knowing there was no chance Olivia was going to change her mind.

"Benson, I want you to lead things on this side as you've now read the file and are obviously refusing to take desk duty and I know you and your partner are one of the best here." Barbra smiled.

"Thank you, I'd gladly be lead on this side." Olivia replied a small smile on her face.

"Olivia please, as your father ..."

"Don't you dare." Olivia snapped.

"Don't ..."

"You are not going to put the guilt trip on me or make this a family matter _Pops_, that's unfair. Right now you're my Captain and if you want to persuade me as a father call me tonight or come over to the house when I am off duty." Olivia replied angrily.

"Fine, ok I'm done arguing about this." Cragen replied having understood he'd lost this argument.

"Now, how about Benson and I brief your detectives so we can get this show on the road?" Barbra replied trying to fill the awkward silence that had erupted in the small office.

"Sure." Cragen nodded and the three of them left and gathered around with the other three detectives.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 15th 2008**

**9.47 am**

"Ok so these guys have got thirty girls in this building?" Elliot asked still in shock.

"We're almost a hundred percent certain." Captain Pierce replied.

"So you want us on standby to get to the girls?" Fin asked.

"Exactly, but not on standby, these girls have been there for months they're going to be terrified we need you lot to go in first because you know how to handle victims whereas we don't." Captain Pierce explained.

"Ok, so what's your juice in this?" Fin asked, he didn't understand at all.

"This is the third house we're busting into, we lost a heck of a lot of vics because we didn't know what to do with them. We want the perps bought in before they hurt anymore girls, we have two in custody and they'll only tell us who and where is we give them immunity and the DA's office isn't willing so we're stuck if you can't get anything out of these vics." Pierce explained further.

"Ok." Fin nodded finally satisfactory.

"We have the bomb squad working on the house now, as soon as they're done, we move in." Pierce replied.

The whole squad gave a nod, they couldn't deny that they were nervous and Olivia glanced at Elliot knowing that he was terrified for her.

"Sit this one out Liv." He asked.

"El?" She turned to him surprised that he would even ask that.

"Come on Olivia, think of Nicole." He replied placing his hand on her bump.

"Cragen already tried that one on me Elliot and I am not about to sit behind a desk when it isn't necessary." Olivia replied before walking off.

****

**61 West 71st, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 15th 2008**

**1.32 pm**

Olivia and Elliot sat in the car patiently waiting for the signal that it was safe to enter.

"I'm sorry for trying to put the guilt trip on you." He sighed, she'd been giving him the silent treatment.

"El... it's not that you gave me the guilt trip that bothered me it's that you think that I wasn't thinking about Nikki that's what angered me." Olivia sighed.

"Ok well I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't do anything to harm our little girl." He replied.

"Good, now shut up because we're wired and Munch and Fin are laughing in my ear." She smiled pointing towards the small plastic device in her ear.

"Oh right, yeah." Elliot laughed, he wasn't wearing an ear piece so he couldn't hear what Olivia could.

"Not funny guys." She smirked as she could still here them sniggering.

"Hold up Liv." Elliot nodded towards the house where the bomb squad were clearing out.

Olivia heard the all clear from Fin in her ear and she burst out the car with Elliot hot on her heels.

"Gee slow down Liv!" He called.

"What's up can't keep up with a pregnant lady?" She laughed as she carried on running.

Once in the house she and Elliot both split up but when she got a message in her ear she panicked.

"Elliot! El we need to get out now!" She yelled running up the stairs after him.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Grenades, threatened, quick!" She couldn't even manage a coherent sentence as her heart rate hammered in her chest.

Both of the detectives got out of the house but as soon as they were in the garden the house exploded sending both of them flying through the air.

"Liv! Olivia!" Elliot called but there was no reply from Olivia who had blacked out. "I need a bus!" Elliot yelled to no one in particular.

Munch and Fin both ran over to them and they knelt down beside Olivia.

"Bus is on the way!" someone yelled.

"What happened?" Elliot asked as he pulled Olivia's head into his lap.

"Someone yelled grenade threat, I gave the message to Olivia to get out then boom." Fin replied. "How come Olivia's knocked out cold but you're fine?"

"Olivia turned herself so she landed on her back and probably smacked her head in the process." Elliot replied. "She was protecting Nicole."

The ambulance pulled over and placed Olivia onto a stretcher, they confirmed that she was just unconscious before putting her into the ambulance.

"We'll see you at the hospital!" Fin called as Elliot climbed into the back.

****

**Mercy General, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 15th 2008**

**8.34 pm**

"Ugh." Olivia groaned as the light stung her eyes.

"She's awake!" Elliot's voice drifted into her ears and she felt him grip her hand.

"Olivia?" Mrs Jeffries voice called.

"Huh?" She croaked, her throat was dry almost burning for reasons she failed to come up with.

"Liv baby." Elliot whispered pressing her hand to his lips.

"Where am I?" She croaked gingerly as she still hadn't opened her eyes, the light to bright stinging her dry eyes.

"Mercy General." Elliot replied.

"What happened?" She asked her voice just a hoarse whisper.

"You were blown up is what happened." Mrs Jeffries replied promptly, the care she had in her voice when Olivia first came round had vanished and now she sounded angry.

"What? Blown? El?" She asked.

"You don't remember?" He asked in surprise.

"No." She replied as her eyes slowly came into focus.

"We were on a case for Major Case Squad, we went into a house and you came up the stairs told me we'd been threatened with grenades and when we got into the garden the house kinda exploded." Elliot replied.

Olivia thought for a moment, her mind almost replaying what had happened in her memory.

"Oh yeah, I remember." She sighed. "Is Nicole ok?"

"Absolutely fine Olivia, but you'd know that had you been sat behind a desk." Mrs Jeffries snapped.

"Here we go." Olivia whispered making Elliot chuckle.

"Olivia this isn't funny. Do you know how much trouble your father is in? He's got one pp and IAB crawling around his office and he's being held for questioning." Mrs Jeffries snapped.

"Oh." Olivia didn't find that funny. "Why?"

"Something to do with him knowing the risk with the explosions but still letting a pregnant detective go out into the field." Mrs Jeffries replied. "You could have gotten yourself and Nicole killed Olivia! Did that not even cross your mind?" She was furious with her daughter.

"Mom..."

"Don't you Mom me Olivia, you ... I ... I don't ... I'm so angry with you!" Mrs Jeffries snapped.

"Elliot can you go get me some water? My throat's burning." She explained.

"Sure, I'll be right back." He smiled and kissed her on the head before leaving, he knew she just wanted to be alone with her Mom.

"Mom..." Olivia started making the older woman turn to look at her. "I knew there was explosives involved, but the bomb squad searched the place and gave us the all clear, had I known or had the slightest doubt that it wasn't I would never have put myself or Nicole at risk." Olivia explained tears building in her eyes.

"Olivia..." Mrs Jeffries rushed over to her and took her hand in her own. "I know dear, I'm just angry and sad and frustrated and I shouldn't take it out on you... the truth is I was terrified, when Elliot called and said he was at the hospital I thought the worse. I lose Cole to this job, we lost Cole, and I'm terrified of losing you too." She explained finally opening up and telling Olivia the truth.

"There's always that risk though Mom." She replied as the tears made their way down her cheek.

"I know, and I should just accept that and I will but I just get angry when I'm scared." She explained wiping Olivia's tears from her cheeks with the silk hanky she kept in her pocket.

"Mom I just, I can't make you understand how important this job is to me, I love my job Mom if I didn't I wouldn't do it." Olivia explained.

"I know, I know Olivia but I just want you to be more careful now your father says someone from IAB wants to talk with you as soon as you're ready to so should I call him now?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Yes, tell them to hurry too so I can get Dad out of this mess." She explained just before Elliot came back with a bottle of water.

"Thanks El." She smiled as he passed it to her.

She wished that one sip could have lasted forever as the feeling it gave her when it rushed down her dry throat was something she'd never thought she'd feel and it surprised her suddenly how grateful she was for the bottle.

"A Lieutenant Ed Tucker is on the way." Mrs Jeffries smiled gently.

"Tucker? Shit." Olivia sighed. "El my ring?" She said turning to him.

"Take it off and pass it here." He replied and she complied quickly, slipping off her engagement ring and handing it over to him.

"Olivia?" Mrs Jeffries asked.

"Mom?" She replied trying to play dumb, she knew what she was about to be asked.

"Why are you taking off your ring before this Tucker arrives?" She asked.

"Pops, Elliot and I decided we should keep our engagement as quiet as we could around the office, IAB will split us up when they find out and neither one of us is ready for that so we kind of haven't gone public with one police plaza or IAB." Olivia explained.

"Oh. Don't you think you should? I mean, you're getting married now this isn't just dating or boyfriend and girlfriend you're planning on becoming man and wife for crying out loud." Mrs Jeffries explained, she hated any form of sneaking around.

"Mom if it means that much to you we'll come clean but now isn't exactly the time for that is it." Olivia replied just wanting the subject to be dropped for now.

"Sadly Olivia I don't believe you, I think you should wear you ring and if he notices you come clean if he doesn't then you go and tell him when you're back at work." Mrs Jeffries replied crossing her arms across her chest showing how serious she was.

"Fine." Olivia sighed holding her hand out for the ring, she couldn't be bothered arguing but she could make it hard for Tucker to see the ring.

The knock at the room door announced Tucker's arrival so Olivia slipped her left hand under the thin blanket so her ring couldn't be seen, it didn't go unnoticed by Mrs Jeffries who raised her eyebrows in disapproval.

"Nice to see you're back with us Benson." Tucker spat sarcastically as he came into the room.

"Ok." Olivia shrugged unsure how to reply to his comment.

"Now then, we need to know what happened before you went on this case my first question..." He pulled out a recording device and Olivia realised that everything she said was on record so she would have to think through her answers very carefully. "Why were you the lead detective for SVU's part in this case?"

Olivia nodded and processed the question and carefully worded her answer before opening her mouth.

"I was called into Captain Cragen's office and asked if I wanted to sit out of the case due to my pregnancy and the risks involved. I was given the file by Captain Pierce and I got the opportunity to read through the details of the case before making my decision. When I replied that I wanted to be involved in this case thoroughly Captain Pierce decided as I now knew the details of the case I could be the lead on SVU's side of the operation." Olivia replied officially.

"Why did you decide to be involved when you knew the risks?" Tucker asked his face unmoving his body unreadable making Olivia nervous.

Once again she took a deep breath as she prepared her answer.

"I took an oath as an officer of the law." She replied.

"You were given the choice though Detective Benson because of the risks involved not only to you but your unborn child. Why would you put both your lives on the line?" Tucker continued.

"I knew of the risks but I also knew that the risks had a very small chance of happening because of the involvement of the bomb squad, I trusted that they would secure the scene before we entered." Olivia replied.

"So you put your faith in the bomb squad?" He asked just to clarify.

"I did." She answered honestly.

"Did Captain Cragen ask you to sit behind a desk?" He asked.

"He gave me the choice whether to sit this case out and be behind the desk or be beside my team and work it, I chose to work it." Olivia explained.

"From what we can gather he didn't ask you Detective he told you and you argued against it." Tucker replied.

"What? No? Wait ..." Olivia thought for a moment. "He didn't order me behind the desk but he didn't actually ask either. He asked me to sit behind a desk rather than asked would I sit behind a desk." Olivia sighed, she knew she was in it deep now.

"So you disobeyed your superior officer?" He asked.

"I did." She replied putting her head in her hands.

This didn't go unnoticed by either Elliot or Mrs Jeffries who both looked straight at the ring glistening in the strong light of the room.

He spotted it, but decided to ask nothing while they were recording and reached over to put the tape recorded off.

"I need your gun and shield Benson." He sighed.

"I don't know where they are." Olivia said turning to Elliot.

"Here." He said handing them over.

"Thank you. You're suspended with pay pending investigation Benson. Now may I offer my congratulations Benson, who's the lucky man?" He asked nodding his head towards the ring.

Olivia swallowed hard and looked up at Mrs Jeffries who had a face that said if Olivia didn't tell the truth then she would.

"Elliot." She whispered not looking at him.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

"Stabler, he's the lucky man." Olivia explained raising her eyebrows as she spoke.

"Wow, Uh, how long's that been going on?" He asked in shock.

"About ... three months ish approximately." Olivia shrugged, she had been too busy with the baby to even think about how long she and Elliot had been together.

"Oh, well Stabler I'll need your gun and shield too." He replied.

"What? Why?" Olivia and Elliot both said together.

"You've been having a relationship right under IAB's nose, you're suspended with pay pending an investigation, you both knew the rules, the day you two stepped into this mess you should have informed us so we could sort out having you split up or transferred you know the rules." He explained as Elliot handed over his gun and shield just as Cragen walked into the room.

"Pops!" Olivia smiled happy to see him.

"Olivia." He replied coming over to the side of the bed and dropping a light kiss on her temple not caring that Ed Tucker was watching him. "So what's the damage?" He asked looking from Olivia to Ed Tucker and back again.

"Both Benson and Stabler are suspended with pay pending investigation." Tucker replied.

"Stabler too?" He asked looking at Elliot.

"Yes, and you'll be very careful that we don't come after you too Don as you should have been the one informing us on their relationship." Tucker snapped.

"No he shouldn't have." Olivia snapped right back.

"Excuse me?" He asked in shock turning to the detective.

"He shouldn't have told you because it was me or Elliot who should have, he had no right to tell you, as a superior maybe but not as the man I call Dad." Olivia spat angrily, she wasn't about to let Cragen take any of the fall for this.

"Benson you should really watch your tongue." He hissed.

"Get out Tucker, you've got what you wanted mine and Elliot's shields so go and start your little investigation so that I can be with my family." She replied angrily.

"Ok well I guess we'll call you in to make a statement in a couple of days then, get well soon Benson." He replied rushing out the door, he didn't like the angry pregnant Olivia one bit.

****

**Benson-Stabler Residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 15th 2008**

**10.04 pm**

Olivia, Elliot, Mrs Jeffries and Don Cragen arrived at Olivia and Elliot's house just after ten. Dani made them all a hot drink while they sat in the front room relaxing together.

"So do you think Tucker will split us up?" Olivia asked to both Elliot and Cragen.

"I don't know Olivia, you're now pending two investigations, that's not going to look good in your jacket." Cragen replied.

"Yes well there are some things which just can't be helped Pops I mean, Tucker ... He's so strange it's like when he defended me to the Chief and Commissioner and then he went off on one when I was arrested and then turned into a caring person when he saw my wrists. I don't know which way to look at him anymore, I used to just see him as the enemy, and he's never really like me or Elliot." Olivia sighed.

"He doesn't like you or Elliot? That's not true, he admits himself you're two of the best detectives in the NYPD, his problems with you are the amount of times he's had to question you and you always cover each other's backs." Cragen replied.

"Yes well our jackets are much thinner than they should be because of that too." Elliot replied unsure whether it was a joke or not.

"Exactly." Cragen smiled knowing that one of the detectives would have lost their jobs had they not defended each other so much.

"You two are staying here tonight aren't you?" Olivia asked having made sure with Dani by text that the guest room was ready.

"Of course there's no point us struggling for home at this late hour." Mrs Jeffries smiled she knew there were clothes for her and Cragen there anyway from other nights they had stayed.

"Ok well I am knackered so I am going to bed." Olivia smiled as she pulled herself to her feet.

She leant over and kissed Elliot before going over and kissing the people she called parent's cheeks before heading up to bed.

The three adults left in the room sat in silence for a moment, lost in their own thoughts.

"Don?" Mrs Jeffries finally said breaking the silence.

"Yes?" He asked gently knowing she was about to ask something that had been on her mind.

"Is there ... I mean I don't know if she would but is there a way of possibly adopting Olivia even though she's an adult?" Mrs Jeffries asked her husband.

Elliot stared for a moment, he wasn't sure if he should be hearing this conversation. Cragen looked at his detective and then took his wife's hand.

"It's possible, it's just filling out some forms really as both Olivia's birth parents are deceased." Cragen replied. "Why are you asking?"

"I'm just fed up of saying 'like a daughter' or 'daughter in law' to people, I want Olivia to really by my daughter, our daughter." She explained.

"I would love to make Olivia our daughter legally too but it doesn't make a difference to me if it's in black and white or not. What do you think Elliot?" Cragen asked making him sit up straighter and think for a minute.

"I uh... I think that's something you should really discuss with Olivia, not me." He shrugged unsure what to say.

"Do you think she would?" Anne asked also sitting up straighter to talk with Elliot.

"I ... I don't know... I know she finally feels like she has two loving parents something she's never known but I don't know if she wants it legal ... Anne I think it's really something you and Don should discuss with her." Elliot wasn't sure he had a right to give an opinion on Olivia's behalf.

"I will, I have to ask her Don, we need to ask her if she would like that, It would be perfect for us as we're too old to have children together but to adopt Olivia as ours, it would be perfect." Anne smiled.

"Just remember, she's ours either way Anne." He smiled kissing her temple. "Now let's go to bed."

Elliot just watched as the two older people headed off to bed leaving him in his own thoughts. He wondered how Olivia would take the news that her parents actually wanted to become her parents legally. He didn't know how she would react or if she'd say yes or no but he hoped either way that nobody would get hurt from all of this.

****

**Wwwww like? Dislike? Let me know people!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much. **

**Ok now the juicy stuff! Happiness is never permanent in SVU!**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**7.22 am**

The whole family were sat together around the small breakfast table. Olivia and Elliot both felt gloomy as they wouldn't be going into work.

"Cheer up the pair of you, you're putting a downer on all of us." Cragen snapped, the truth was he was going to miss having the two at the precinct while they were suspended.

"Oh come on Pops we can't help but being a bit down, we're going to be stuck, bored all day rather than being at work." Olivia sighed playing with Melly's golden locks absentmindedly.

"Olivia, you'll both get a call from Tucker so you can give him your statements and then you'll be back at work until then maybe you can start getting things ready for Nicole?" Cragen really felt for his detectives but he knew they'd soon be back.

"Not like I'm going to have much fun sat behind a desk though." Olivia sighed knowing that for the next few weeks she'd be doing nothing more than pushing papers.

"I'm not going back on that Olivia so don't even ask me." Cragen replied stubbornly, she already knew where he lay on this matter.

"I wasn't going too, Tucker would have a field day if I went back out. I'm better off behind a desk so there is no need for any damage control." Olivia laughed lightly, raising the spirits of everyone around the table.

Olivia and Melly both made their way upstairs so Olivia could help her daughter get ready for school. This left the other three downstairs and the conversation from the previous evening was stricken up once again.

"Don, I was thinking if it would be a good idea to bring up the adoption with Olivia today if Elliot has no objections in me having her for a few hours this morning."

Elliot raised his hands and shrugged, his way of saying that he had no objections.

"Might be a good idea." Cragen replied happily.

"Well unless you want us to do it together?" Anne asked turning to look her husband in the eye.

"No I'm fine with you bringing it up." He wasn't sure he could hide his disappointment should she say no.

Anne smiled, she knew exactly how she was going to approach the subject with Olivia and she knew she'd have to be ready for Olivia to need some time away to think, or explosions or fireworks, either way, today she would ask Olivia to legally become her and her husband's daughter.

****

**Lorenzo's Bistro, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**1.17 pm**

Olivia and Anne were shown to their table and handed menus to browse. They were both very hungry having spent the morning shopping for everything they could possibly need for Baby Nicole's arrival.

"Olivia, there was a reason I wanted to bring you out today." Anne smiled after they'd given the server their order.

"Ok." Olivia replied playing with her water glass.

"Well, you see, me and your father, well, we've been talking." Anne started to explain gaining much more of the Detective's attention.

"Ok." Olivia said again wanting her Mother to carry on.

"Well, we're both older now and we won't be able to have any babies not that we'd even consider it with a second grandchild on the way!" Anne smiled, she was trying to joke her way into a calmness wanting to be relaxed when she asked Olivia.

"Of course, so?" Olivia replied unsure in which direction this conversation was going whatsoever.

"You are very much our daughter Olivia, we both love you more than you'll ever know and, well, we were wondering if you'd ... if you'd consider allowing us to adopt you?" Anne explained almost quickly and spitting out the words so she didn't have a chance to take them back.

Olivia just stared, she wasn't sure if she'd heard right and she definitely wasn't sure how to answer yet. She was saved by the ringing of her cell phone that had both women reacting.

"Benson." She answered having not checked the caller ID. "Ok, I'll head off now then, ok Bye." Olivia hung up and looked at her mother, or the woman she called mother anyhow.

"Work?" Anne asked disappointedly.

"I've been asked to submit a statement on both investigations to the board at the internal affairs bureau." Olivia explained.

"Oh, then you should go and quick you take the car I'll be fine." Anne smiled as Olivia jumped to her feet and pressed her lips to her cheeks before smiling.

"I'll call Dani to pick you up, be at mine when I get back with Pops." She replied, knowing that she would have to give them an answer sooner or later and right now sooner was definitely the preferred option.

****

**Internal Affairs Bureau, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**1.32 pm**

Elliot tried to relax a little as he sat in front of the board. He had done this so many times before it should have been like second nature to him but this time was different, this wasn't his job on the line but his partnership with Olivia and he knew neither of them would enjoy their work without one another.

"Detective Stabler, you're here to give a formal statement about the investigation into your relationship with your partner Detective Benson is that correct?" One burly bald headed man asked.

"Yes sir." Elliot replied his voice much stronger than he had expected it to be.

"Fine, you may begin."

"Detective Benson and I have been partners for nearly nine years now, when she lost her fiancé we became closer and I moved in to her place to help her out. A few weeks after this we entered into a relationship together, we agreed that it was best for everyone, not only ourselves but our entire unit that we kept our relationship quiet. On the twenty second of July I asked Detective Benson if she would marry me and she said yes." Elliot explained.

"Your Captain and Detectives Munch and Tutuola knew about your relationship though didn't they?"

"They did, they're not just the men we work with, they're our friends and we're all very close at the one six and Detective Benson and I agreed they should know about our relationship." Elliot replied.

"It's true that you're not the father of Detective Benson's foetus?"

"I'm not the father of Detective Benson's unborn child." Elliot replied hating that the man had called his daughter a foetus, even if that's what she was, they'd already named her and they already loved her.

"Why did you not announce your relationship to the Internal Affairs Bureau and One Police Plaza after the engagement where your relationship obviously took a more serious detour?"

"We knew we'd be asked to separate either as partners or as lovers and we didn't want either, not once have we let our relationship get in the way of a case and so we thought it best to keep our mouth shut so we could continue working as partners and living as partners." Elliot replied honestly.

"I believe that's it Detective Stabler, I suspect Detective Benson will be awaiting her turn and so if you could send her in quickly."

Elliot nodded his head towards the table of men before leaving, he rushed out to find Olivia sitting in one of the chairs.

"El?" She asked.

"It was alright, just be honest baby." He whispered wrapping his arms around her.

"I will." She smiled and then she broke away from him and rushed into the room knowing that the longer she took the more annoyed the board would become.

She sat down in the seat Elliot had occupied minutes earlier. This was not the first time she had sat here but this was definitely the most nerve wracking.

"Detective Benson, you are here to give statements on two investigations, one regarding your relationship with your Partner Detective Stabler and the other regarding you disobeying direct orders from your superior officer is this correct?" The bald headed man was still the one speaking.

"Yes it is." Olivia replied her voice calm and firm as it always was when she was working and talking to other cops.

"You can begin by telling us about your relationship with Detective Stabler." He told her or ordered her.

"Detective Stabler and I were partners for eight years, when my fiancé passed away Detective Stabler was my crutch if you will. He looked after me and we realised that we enjoyed each other company in privet as we did as partners and we moved in together, as friends only at the time. We entered into a relationship shortly after. We both agreed to keep the relationship quiet for as long as possible to save our partnership as we knew we wouldn't let our relationship compromise our jobs and we didn't. We engaged on the twenty second of July and we continued to agree that it was best that we didn't inform anyone from IAB or one PP." Olivia explained.

"On what date did your former lover pass on?"

"July the first." Olivia replied.

"And on what date or approximate date did you and Detective Stabler begin your relationship?"

Not seeing the relevance Olivia frowned as she tried to figure it out.

"Around the twelfth of July." Olivia guessed.

"So less than two weeks after Detective Jeffries died you were sleeping with your partner." One detective snapped and Olivia realised he worked at Missing Persons as well as the IAB.

"No not exactly, Detective Stabler and I were having a relationship without sex for a long time Sir." Olivia snapped back, he had no right to say what he had to her and it made her uncomfortable.

"Right." He spat not believing her.

"If you want the date Detective Stabler and I consummated our relationship Sir, that I can give." She spat.

He just looked at her unsure if he wanted to know but the look she saw was want.

"Nineteenth of July." She replied, she would never forget the day she and Elliot had finally broken every boundaries.

"Specific." Another one spat.

Olivia bit her tongue knowing that one wrong move could see her and Elliot split up, which she was already convinced that she was going to happen.

"So you entered into a relationship with Detective Stabler at least a week before you slept together?"

"If you mean slept as in had sex then yes, however we shared a bed together even before we were in a relationship, he was there to look after me after Cole's death." She replied.

"So when did Detective Stabler find out about your pregnancy Detective?"

"I told him on the seventeenth of July." Olivia replied.

"How far along where you then?"

"I found out on the eighteenth of July that I was fifteen weeks pregnant." Olivia replied seeing this going in a very dark direction.

"When did you find out you were pregnant detective?"

Olivia bit her lip, she had known this was coming but she couldn't answer it, not honestly.

"I... I don't ... I'm not sure when I knew, I mean, I had suspected and then I suddenly became the mother of two twins and then my son died and then soon after my fiancé died leaving me as a single mom of my daughter and so there was so much else to think about I pushed it into the back of my mind and hope all the symptoms were from stress." Olivia replied as honestly as she could manage.

"Can you ... would you go for an estimate time to when you first suspected your pregnancy?"

Olivia sighed and tried to think about stuff that had been going on around the time she had first suspect her pregnancy.

"It was the day before we went out on the case which led to us getting the twins." Olivia replied. "I had suspected and as Cole, Detective Jeffries and I had a day off I had planned on telling him my suspicions but then we were called on the case and everything feel apart." Olivia replied.

"So Detective Jeffries never knew you were expecting his child?"

"No." Olivia replied a set of tears sparkling in her eyes not missed by any of the board.

"Ok let's move on to the second complaint, you previously admitted to disobeying orders and the Captain Cragen put in a form for retraction?"

"Yes he did, but not at my request." Olivia replied.

"Care to explain?"

"I was at the hospital when Lieutenant Tucker questioned me. I told him I hadn't disobeyed any orders, I was asked by Captain Cragen to sit at a desk and I declined, he gave me the choice but the lieutenant led me to believe that I had by confusing interrogation tactics." Olivia replied.

"Ok. Thank you Detective. You may go home and await our call."

"Thank you." Olivia nodded before leaving and she found that Elliot had waited for her.

She wrapped herself up in his embrace, needing to feel the connection she had with him because she'd taken a beating in there and she had a lot of questions, mainly for herself, but she'd need Elliot's support in asking them to herself.

"Liv?" He asked feeling her shaking shoulders beneath his arms.

"I'm fine." She whispered.

"The hell you are what did they say in there?" Elliot asked his temper slowly boiling to the surface.

"They asked me when had I suspected I was pregnant and then I told them it was the day before the case with Michael and Melissa and they asked if I had ever told Cole I was having his baby, why didn't I tell him Elliot? I could have told him and at least he'd have died knowing he was going to be a real dad. Elliot what did I do?" She sobbed but he couldn't answer her questions when she was this emotional and he was worrying about her, the board had opened some healing scabs and the blood was now seeping out.

"Come on Liv, let's go home." He whispered as her sobs subsided a little.

****

**Benson-Stabler Residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**3.48 pm**

Once in the house Olivia ran as quickly as she could to her bedroom, she knew her mother and father were sat in the living room nervously waiting to find out if she was going to accept their offer of adoption but right now she couldn't even think about answering them, she was battling her own daemons and she didn't want to be around them when she did it.

Elliot sighed and thought he'd give her some time alone. He went into the living room and found Captain Cragen, Anne and Melly.

"Elliot?" Cragen asked seeing a defeated look on Elliot's face.

"It's Liv." He croaked in a whisper not wanting Melly to hear. "They asked her why she didn't tell Cole she was pregnant." He added shakily.

"They did what?" Cragen asked jumping to his feet.

"She came out and she just broke in my arms, I didn't know what to say to her, she had all these questions and I didn't have any of the answers." Elliot explained, Cragen was frightened Elliot looked drawn and tired.

"I'm going to talk to her." Anne said getting to her feet.

"Don't Anne." Cragen replied resting his hand on her arm.

"But she's our daughter and right now she needs us." Anne replied unsure why he was stopping them.

"Anne, I want to call in Doctor George Huang, he helped Olivia a lot after Cole's death and, well, I think he's the best person for her to talk to, with all this and what you asked her this morning I hate to think where her mind is right now." Cragen explained as he watched Elliot sitting down on the couch and dropping his head in his hands.

Don Cragen went to the kitchen to make the call, he didn't want anyone hearing him talking to the psychiatrist.

"George its Don Cragen, Listen if you're not busy could you come by Elliot and Olivia's house. Something happened today and I think they both need to talk to you but they can't come to the one six because they're suspended. Thank you. I'll see you soon." Cragen hung up the phone, relieved that George Huang had replied that he was on his way.

****

**Benson-Stabler Residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**4.24 pm**

Olivia lay on her bed sobbing into her pillow, she couldn't calm her thoughts and it was driving her insane. She wanted to focus on one of the hundreds of questions zooming around her mind but she didn't have the energy to pick one and so continued to let them swirl making her worried and scared. When there was a light knock on the door she didn't move suspecting it was Elliot or Anne but the voice she heard had her frozen.

"Olivia? Can I come in?" George Huang asked softly.

Olivia sat up and nodded trying to dry her eyes as he walked towards her, taking a seat on the corner of the bed as Olivia leant back into the head board and pulled a pillow onto her bump.

"What happened today?" He asked gently coaxing her to open up but there wasn't a need to coax her, she knew that right now Huang might be the only person able to help her.

"I was talking with the board at IAB and they were asking so many questions about Cole and his death and Elliot and then they asked about Nicole, they asked ... they asked when I had first suspected I was pregnant." Olivia answered shakily.

"When did you first suspect you were pregnant?" Huang asked guessing that would be a piece of valuable information.

"Day before Melly and Mikey went missing." Olivia replied.

"Ok go on." Huang nodded.

"Then they asked if I'd told him I was pregnant. Which I didn't ..." Olivia held the pillow as she began to sob again. "I didn't tell him, I know in June and he didn't die till July that was a month, a whole month where I could have told him I was probably having his baby and I didn't tell him!" Olivia sobbed.

"Olivia, you were going through so much, you were becoming a Mom to Melissa and Michael and then Michael's illness and then he died and then by the time your lives had started to normalize again Cole died, you didn't have the chance to even get over the idea yourself with everything in your life changing at such a rapid pace so I am not surprised you didn't tell him and nobody blames you for not telling him." Huang replied.

"It's not the point George, he died not knowing he was going to be a daddy." Olivia sobbed harder.

"He already was a Father Olivia, to Michael and Melissa." He replied gently trying to soothe her.

"I know but it's not the same is it, your own compared to adopted, I mean, I know I love Melly and Nicole the same but it's still going to be different when they're older. I'll be able to tell Nicole what her first word was, at what age she crawled at what age she walked and potty trained but I can't give that to Melly." Olivia sighed.

"Melly knows she had other parents though." Huang smiled gently. "She'll always know you were her second parent and she'll understand that you adopted her but that doesn't make her love you any less either because you'll have unique stories to tell Melly about the man she got to spend some time with that Nicole didn't but who is her biological father. It's completely natural for people who adopt children and then have their own but honestly Liv, you will soon see that you had nothing to worry about."

"There's more George." She whispered the talking of the adoption of Melly making her think of what her Mother had asked her this morning.

"What is it Olivia?" He asked.

She bit her bottom lip unsure whether she should tell Huang what she was thinking about as he answered to Don Cragen.

"Please don't tell Pops." She whispered.

"I can't promise but if you tell me what it is then maybe I can help." He smiled gently.

"Ok, well this morning, Mom, well, she asked me ... she told me that she and Pops had been talking and they wanted ... she asked ... she asked me if I would consider allowing them to adopt me." Olivia explained.

Huang didn't know what to say for a moment, this news coming as quite a shock to the physichiatrist.

"I mean, I don't know what to do, they're my parents George, they've been better parents to me in the last few months than my own have been but I don't know why they would want it in black and white, what difference does it make?" She asked.

"It's a tough one Liv, if I'm honest there are two answers but they're connected. They want you to know that they love you in the way parents love their children, they also probably want to know that you love them in the way a daughter would her parents."

"So what do I do?" Olivia asked.

"You're the only one who can answer that Olivia." He replied honestly.

She looked at him, her eyes searching him for the answer he hadn't given her.

****


	35. Chapter 35

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**SMUT BELOW! **

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**5.11 pm**

"How is she?" Cragen asked as soon as Huang walked into the living room.

"She's ok Don, she's frightened and blaming herself which is a part of the grieving, I had suspected that she hadn't completed the cycle and I was right. When a person is grieving they grieve for their own length of time and it doesn't mean Olivia hasn't been happy these past few months and isn't happy with Elliot it just means one part of the cycle hadn't been completed and she needs to do it as its usually the sooner its done the better, however, I am worrying about her mentality with something else she told me but I think you and Anne need to go and talk to her while I talk with Elliot." Huang replied.

"Me and Anne?" Don asked.

"Yes, she needs to talk stuff through with the two of you so head up to her." Huang explained.

He just watched as Cragen and Anne rushed off, they didn't need to be told twice as they had both wanted to see her as soon as she had come in.

Meanwhile Elliot was still sat on the couch with his head in his hands. He had listened to Huang's explanation but if anything that had made him feel worse.

"Elliot how are you feeling?" Huang jumped straight in as soon as he was sat down.

"I don't know I uh... I don't know what to do." Elliot replied honestly.

"Ok then tell me what you don't know what do about?" Huang replied, at least Elliot had given him something to work with.

"With Liv, I don't know ... I didn't know what to say to her and she was crying and I didn't know. I just didn't know what to say at all to her." Elliot shrugged his head was still bowed as he talked he didn't want to look at the doctor in front of him.

"That's completely natural Elliot, you and Olivia weren't together when all this started so you haven't got the answers for her. It makes complete sense that you're unsure what to say." Huang replied honestly.

"But all that guilt she's feeling, it's killing me not being able to do anything about it." Elliot explained further.

"You feel like you should do something about it?" Huang asked the intrigue in his voice unmistakable.

"Yes, God Huang she's Olivia, she's pregnant, I love her so much and I can't stop her from hurting like I should and it's killing me." Elliot sighed, he was rarely this honest with the doctor but right now he needed someone to help him.

"Elliot, you're feeling guilty aren't you?" Huang asked leaning in further, he was on to something.

"Yes." Elliot sighed.

"Anything else going on in your mind? Any physical changes or any strange happenings you can't explain?" Huang continued.

Elliot's head snapped up, he wasn't sure what the doctor was getting at but he was just as intrigued.

"I uh, I've been having the strangest dreams." Elliot replied honestly.

"Tell me about them." Huang replied sitting back in the armchair and waiting for an answer.

"Well I had ... it's so stupid... I had a dream that Olivia gave birth to a dog." Elliot replied trying not to wet himself with laughter at the memory of him waking up in a panic.

"Any more?" Huang asked.

"Yes, I dreamed Olivia and I were working and she went into labour at a crime scene of a kid's murder." Elliot replied.

"Ok anything else, any physical changes in your body that you haven't been able to explain?" Huang asked.

"I don't know why are you even asking?" Elliot asked.

Huang gave his little smirk, he always did it when he had an answer for someone that was both scientific and clever.

"I think you're suffering from a condition called couvade Elliot, it's also known as Sympathetic Pregnancy. You're sharing a lot of Olivia's pregnancy symptoms and you're feeling her emotions it's not uncommon for this to happen to partners as close as you and I mean I wouldn't be surprised if it happened if you two weren't even together. No one knows why it actually happens but it can some men will experience bloating, sensitive nipples, extreme emotions just like their pregnant spouse but they can also end up just sharing a handful or one or two symptoms." Huang explained.

"You mean I'm having symptoms of Olivia's pregnancy?" Elliot asked frowning.

"I can't be a hundred percent sure but that's what it sounds like, you were trying to put a reason on your own rush of guilt but the truth is there isn't one because you don't feel guilty, Olivia does and you're sympathising by feeling it too." Huang explained.

"That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard, I didn't do anything like this when Kathy was carrying." Elliot replied.

"That doesn't surprise me either Elliot, you weren't as close to Kathy, you went to work while she was pregnant so it's very different with Olivia who you've worked with for nine years. Like I said earlier even if she wasn't in a relationship with you I wouldn't have been surprised if you shared her pregnancy because you're so close to each other." Huang explained further.

Elliot just nodded, it was the strangest thing he'd ever heard and he was still trying to process it all in his head.

Meanwhile upstairs Olivia was sat on her bed with Cragen and Anne. They were just holding her hands as she tried to calm her thoughts, she could tell that Huang hadn't said anything because they'd come up to her too fast as Cragen would have asked Huang hundreds of questions if he knew.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"What are you apologising for?" Anne asked rubbing her thumb over the back of Olivia's hand trying to soother her.

"I don't know." She shrugged, it was partially true, she wasn't sure out of the many reasons she had to apologise which she was actually apologising for.

"Now why don't you tell us what's wrong Olivia." Cragen suggested.

"I don't even know where to begin." She sniffed her head bowed in fear of them reading her.

They looked at each other Don and Anne, they didn't know what to do but seeing Olivia so upset was hurting both of them.

"I just ..." Olivia was scared of hurting the two people beside her and finding how to put what she needed to ask in a way that wouldn't hurt was proving to be a challenge. "I just was thinking why it was you thought about adopting me." Olivia managed to mumble.

"Well there are a hundred reasons Liv." Cragen replied honestly.

"We can tell you as much of them as we can if you want though." Anne replied knowing that they woman beside her needed some clarification.

Olivia nodded and waited as the two people chose their own answer.

"Well we very much consider you our daughter anyway, we won't have a chance to have any children together Olivia but we both believe that we have you together and we thought having it down in black and white just made it more real." Don Cragen replied shakily.

"Exactly Olivia, it doesn't make a difference to our relationship at all because we already call you our daughter and nothing will ever change that. We just thought it would be nice for all of us, you'd have real parents who love you unconditionally and it would be real not just names but legal too." Anne explained.

"But like we said, it doesn't make a difference, don't feel bad if you don't want to Olivia we'd understand, it doesn't change anything." Cragen added giving her hand a squeeze.

"But I do want to! I just don't know why I do." Olivia replied quickly, she didn't want them to think she didn't because they were right, they were her parents now and that wouldn't change but to have it down in black and white would make it real for all of them.

Don and Anne's hearts both jumped when she replied, they had to struggle to hide their happiness because Olivia still wasn't certain.

"Can you think of any reasons why you do Olivia?" Cragen asked nervously.

"Because I've never known really what it is like to have parents, but, I think it's what I feel for you, I mean, I don't know if how I feel about you is what a daughter feels for her parents because I've never had it! I don't know if that makes any sense!" Olivia sighed, she was mumbling and she wasn't sure if what she was saying was even coherent.

"It makes perfect sense Olivia." Anne whispered. "But do you think what you feel for us is what Melly feels for you?"

"I do." Olivia nodded. "At least I hope so."

"I can tell you that I feel for you in the same way as I feel for Tammy and that I'm certain of, you're no less my daughter than she is." Anne explained.

"I've been having the same question Olivia, I've not got children to compare what I feel but I can honestly say I think what I feel for you is the same as I would for any daughter I had." Cragen replied, he wasn't lying to her, it was what had been worrying him most.

"I would be very privileged if you would adopt me." Olivia whispered.

Anne and Don couldn't hide their joy anymore. She'd answered them and now they were ecstatic.

"Really Olivia?" Anne asked in disbelief.

Olivia looked at her and saw how happy she had made the woman she called Mom.

"Yeah. Really." Olivia nodded and Anne threw her arms around Olivia.

Olivia didn't fail to notice that this embrace was full of love, it wasn't the same embrace she felt when she greeted her mother on a Sunday, this was like the embrace she'd been given when she saw the woman after Cole's death in the precinct except now the woman giving and the woman receiving were happy. Olivia and Anne both felt an extra arm around them as Don Cragen embraced them. They all felt so happy, and blessed to have one another that they didn't care that they were doing things they had never done before, they didn't care because it felt natural.

"Ok." Olivia smiled. "I love you both so much."

"We love you too." Anne replied.

"More than you know." Don added smiling as he held the two women he loved, his wife and his daughter.

****

**Benson-Stabler Residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**6.10 pm**

Dani had called everyone to the table as she had been preparing dinner with Melly to keep her occupied while everything was going on. At Olivia's insistence George Huang had stayed as she'd told them they were celebrating, he'd worked out why based on what she had said and Elliot had his suspicion but she hadn't confirmed it yet but confirmation wasn't needed.

"Mommy why are you so happy?" Melly asked, she sensed a deeper meaning to the glow her mother had.

"Mommy's very happy because Granny and Granddad made her happy." Olivia smiled unsure how to begin explaining to the five year old.

"But why?" Melly asked insisting that she be told.

"Well you know like Mommy and Daddy rescued you and Michael?" Olivia asked taking a route she wasn't sure would work but was sure worth a try.

"Yeah?" Melly nodded.

"Well Granny and Granddad rescued Mommy." Olivia explained.

"So like you and Daddy made me happy Granny and Granddad made you happy?" Melly asked to clarify.

"Yeah baby just like that." Olivia replied and Melly smiled and leaned over wrapping her small, thin arms around her mother's waist.

"I'm happy when you're happy." Melly explained as Olivia returned the embrace.

"Good because I'm happy when you are too." Olivia replied. "But I won't be happy if you don't eat your dinner!" She laughed tickling Melly's sides making her squeal.

"Ok! Mommy ok I'll eat!" She laughed as Olivia continued to tickle her.

Olivia smiled and pulled away so Melly could adjust herself in her seat and begin to eat. She was so happy and she couldn't pull the smile off her face, when she felt a hand cup her own she turned and saw Elliot grinning at her.

"What?" She asked still smiling.

"I'm happy when you're happy too." Elliot smiled.

"You're such a goofball."Olivia laughed as he grinned cheekily at her.

"I know." He laughed pulling her hand to his lips and smiling.

"I think we can all say we're very happy." Anne smiled as Don took her hand.

"We are." Don smiled and Olivia picked up her water glass and put it in the air.

"I think we can all say to happiness and family." She smiled looking around at the people she considered family.

"Happiness and family." Everyone but Melly replied.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 16th 2008**

**10.32 pm**

Olivia and Elliot finally cuddled up in bed after what had been a very long and emotional day.

"So you've said yes to the adoption?" Elliot asked as Olivia still hadn't told him.

"I did, how did you know?" Olivia asked turning to look at him, she'd planned on keeping it quiet until the papers were in her hand.

"They were talking about it after you went to bed and then again when you took Melly to get ready." Elliot replied.

"So you knew before they even asked me?" Olivia asked in shock.

"Yeah, you're ok with that right?" He asked a nervous look in his eye that showed he wasn't sure if he should have told her.

"Of course I am, I'm just surprised." Olivia replied as he kissed her temple. "Have you noticed though that Mom and Pops have been staying here more and more?" Olivia asked.

"I have why?" Elliot asked.

"I think they want us to live as one big family." Olivia replied.

"Do you want to?" Elliot asked instantly.

"Why?" Olivia asked.

"I'm asking you if you'd want to live with your parents." Elliot explained, he wasn't going to answer her question till she answered his.

"Well, I don't know I mean I haven't really thought about it." Olivia replied.

"Ok well if you want to, I don't have any objections, it wouldn't be a bad thing would it?" Elliot asked.

"I don't know, I mean, Mom will never sell her house and Cragen hasn't sold his but I would ... I mean ... I'm used to having them here now and I feel this place would be empty with them gone again." Olivia replied honestly.

"Then why don't you ask them if they want to move in properly, they can bring more of their things and make the guestroom their own." Elliot explained, in all honesty, he just wanted Olivia to experience living as a big family in the way he had, he might have had a difficult childhood but he still had some fond memories of being with both his parents and he wanted Olivia to have a chance at that.

"Ok well I'll suggest it to Mom then, but right now Elliot ..." She turned to him, a look in her eye told him exactly what she was thinking about.

"We have to be very quiet." He whispered.

"I know, but I don't care." She whispered back as he pushed her to lying and climbed over so he could be above her, careful though to avoid leaning on her growing bump.

He pressed his lips to hers and she reacted instantly, the kiss deep, meaningful and passionate. Her back began to arch as their kiss became a little deeper.

Their tongues fought for dominance as they kissed wanting the making out to last as long as they could before they would have to give in to their bodies urges. As his hands began to wonder his eyes locked on hers, his fingertips caressed over thighs, hips, waist, over sensitive breasts, shoulders, neck before reaching her cheeks and cupping her face in his hands. She just smiled and he returned it, they couldn't deny they were happy to anyone. His hands started to wander back down, his fingertips just caressing through her vest top until he reached her waist where the shirt ended. She lifted herself up and he swiped the piece of fabric from her skin, she'd stopped wearing bra's to bed because they were fuller and more sensitive.

She lay back as his hands began to wander again, slowly, softly, just dancing along her smooth olive skin. His finger just stroked over her upright pert nub and she reacted instantly, gasping, her back arching almost a spasm wanting his touch. He just smiled his eyes still locked on her, he wanted to see every reaction she gave. His thumb and forefinger latched onto the bud and she bit down on her bottom lip in waiting for his next movement. He didn't make her wait, he slowly began to role the oversensitive nub, he enjoyed how sensitive they were from her pregnancy and she couldn't deny that the newer sensation excited her. His grip was light as he continued to roll the nub making the ache between her legs strengthen as the wetness pooled.

"El." She whimpered quietly almost helplessly as she waited for him to act.

He just smiled, her eyes were closed, her breathing was heavy and he knew that she didn't know her hips were reacting to him. He had to pull his eyes away to attach his lips onto her. He latched onto her nipple with his teeth, gently as not to hurt her but enough for her to react with another gasp and a stifled moan. He flicked the nub with his tongue and she reacted by grasping at the bed sheet beneath her. After a gentle yet seductive laugh he began to kiss down to her stomach stopping for a moment to admire the bump she had, that wasn't sexual, that was paternal.

She smiled when she saw him looking, for a moment she forgot about her arousal and just admired the man in front of her who had a glistening tear in his eye. But looking was enough as his hand danced on her hips at the edge of her sweats. He gripped them and pulled them off quickly, her panties coming with it. She automatically spread her legs and he grinned at this reaction. He leant over her again and pulled off his own t-shirt before latching a kiss onto her. Her hands danced over his bare back, caressing every muscle. He slipped off his boxers, freeing himself. She grinned, she knew what was coming next.

"Elliot!" She cried loudly as he thrust inside her. He dropped his lips to hers to quieten her but that just made her want him even more. The sweet taste from him drove her to want more and as he began to slowly ride her she grinded her hips upward wanting more. He looked at her, her eyes half closed, her mouth slightly parted and her lips swollen from his kiss, she was sheer beauty.

Their beating hearts sped up with them as they both drove each other on. She knew she was sweating, her bangs stuck to her forehead and the hair stuck to the back of her neck, she dug her nails into his back feeling his perspiration on her fingers but it just turned her on more. He continued pumping as she grinned upwards they were spurring each other on.

Seeing they were both close he slipped his hand under her shoulders, cradling her and as he felt her quivering body turning into a contorted tremble she moaned very loudly and then remembering they had to be quiet for multiple reasons she bit down on his neck right at his pulse point. Her teeth latching to his skin was all that was needed to drive him to his own climax and as he drove her through her climax he enjoyed his own, thrusting deep until he slowed down to a complete stop.

"I thought I told you to be quiet?" Elliot whispered a cheeky gleam in his eye.

Olivia bit down on her bottom lip as she laughed huskily, her breath still ragged from their chosen activity.

"Oops?" She suggested shrugging making Elliot laugh, his laugh breathy as he fell beside her.

"Well they're not my parents in the room opposite." Elliot teased and Olivia let out something that consisted of a laugh and a groan simultaneously.

He pulled her into his arms and rested his hands on her bump before tucking his head into her shoulder.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." She smiled rubbing her cheek into his head.

"Good." He replied with a satisfactory smile.

"Hey when we get married the person who is your boss is going to be your father in law." Olivia pointed out.

"Yes he is but it isn't like he hasn't been a father figure for me over the years." Elliot replied.

"I know, I just think its cute how I get a father and you get a father in law, we didn't have originally." Olivia explained.

"No true, as long as he doesn't turn into that father in law who despises his daughter's husband I'm good." Elliot joked sleepily.

"True." Olivia laughed.

"Now though, it's time to go to sleep, Melly will be up in a few hours." Elliot replied his eyes already shut.

"Night baby." Olivia whispered.

"Night." Elliot managed before both of them quickly drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

****

**Hope you guys like the smut, I tried something a little different with it to what I normally do, I'm kind of trying to experiment a little with my writing style for my book. Your opinion as ever means a lot to me guys! **


	36. Chapter 36

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**Any ideas where this should go next? **

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, September 17th 2008**

**7.01 am**

Olivia yawned as she walked into the kitchen, the smell of coffee hitting her hard making her overcome with nausea.

"I thought this had ended." She gasped rushing out the room to be sick.

Elliot latched his hand to his mouth hoping he wouldn't be sick as he sure shared the nauseating feeling, he'd had it since he'd woken up twenty minutes before but he hadn't linked it to Olivia.

When she came back into the room she looked a little better and so she took her decaff coffee from Dani and went to sit beside Elliot. She rested her head on his shoulder as she slowly woke herself properly.

"Morning." Anne smiled joyfully as she entered the room.

"Morning." Olivia and Elliot chorused both yawning simultaneously.

"Someone was up late?" Anne teased and Olivia turned to look at Elliot both of them blushing to a deep scarlet.

"Mm." Olivia replied deciding words would do nothing here.

"Here's your tea Mrs Jeffries." Dani smiled placing the cup on the table, she'd been taught by Anne how to make the perfect cup of tea which had just made Olivia laugh.

"Thank you Daniela." Anne smiled as the nanny made her way to get Cragen's coffee as he had just walked into the room.

"Morning." He smiled taking a seat beside his wife and dropping a heavy kiss on her temple.

"Morning." Everyone replied.

"Here." Dani smiled placing the coffee in front of him.

"Thanks." He beamed gratefully.

"I'll go and get Melly up shall I?" Dani asked.

"Yeah that would be great, I'm surprised that she's not the first up this morning." Olivia replied hoping that there was nothing wrong.

The redheaded nanny left them all to go and wake the youngest member and Olivia decided now would be the best chance to ask Anne and Don about her discussion with Elliot.

"Elliot and I were talking last night." Olivia started.

"What? You actually got some talking done?" Anne asked.

Elliot looked away while Olivia blushed again.

"Yes Mom, we got talking done last night." She replied through gritted teeth, she was very embarrassed but didn't want to show it.

"Oh ok go on." Anne laughed, Don wasn't sure whether to laugh or be embarrassed so looked around nervously.

"Ok well, we were talking about the fact that you two have been staying here so often." Olivia began explaining.

"If you don't want us to stay Olivia just spit it out, we understand if you want privacy." Anne smiled gently.

"Actually what we were talking about was quite the opposite, we were wondering if you'd both consider or like to move in on a more permanent basis." Olivia explained because she didn't want either one of them to think she didn't want them around.

"Oh, well, that's a generous offer Olivia we'll have to discuss it of course." Anne replied smiling, she knew what she wanted to do but she would have to have Don's complete agreement.

"Ok, that's fine I understand and we won't mind if you don't want to but we like having you both here, I like having you both here." Olivia explained.

"Of course, we'll talk about it won't we Don?" Anne smiled.

"Yes of course." He replied unsure what to think as he was surprised at Olivia's offer.

"Good." Olivia smiled just as Dani and Melly came into the room.

"Mommy!" Melly smiled rushing over and wrapping her arms around Olivia in a tight embrace.

"Hey Melly are you ok?" Olivia asked smiling gently.

"I feel poorly." Melly replied.

Olivia pulled Melly onto her knee and pressed the back of her hand to Melly's head.

"You've definitely got a temperature Melly, do you think you can manage some breakfast?" Olivia asked her concern rising a little.

"No I just want to go back to bed." Melly replied.

"Ok, have a glass of water for me first and then you can go back to bed and I'll call school ok?" Olivia replied.

"Ok Mommy." She nodded before resting her head on Olivia's shoulder.

"She's pale." Anne commented.

"I know, she can go back to bed and rest, I'll give her some paracetamol medicine to bring down the temperature a little." Olivia replied as Dani bought Melly a drink of water.

"Dani could you go to the medicine cabinet in my bathroom, there's a bottle of calpol in there." Olivia asked.

"Of course, I'll be two minutes." Dani smiled rushing off.

"You can take some medicine Mel and then go to bed ok?" Olivia told the little girl on her lap who was shaking a little.

"Ok Mommy." She replied weakly.

Olivia gently rocked Melly backwards and forwards in her lap until Dani bought the medicine bottle down. She grabbed a med spoon from the drawer and knelt down in front of Melly to give her the pink liquid.

"Ugh." Melly said after the second.

"Well as horrible as it is baby it will make you feel better." Olivia replied.

"Ok, can I go to bed now?" She asked.

"Yeah, Uncle Elliot can carry you up." Olivia smiled winking at Elliot.

He stood up and pulled Melly into his arms, she looked much smaller than usual as she rested her head on his shoulder and held tight around his neck.

"I'm glad I'm suspended right now, I'd hate to have to leave her when she's poorly." Olivia commented knowing she'd be up and down to check on her daughter all day.

"Cragen." Don snapped answering his ringing mobile. "What? Ok. Yes. No I'll let them know. Ok. Bye."

Olivia and Anne were both wondering who would call at such an early hour in the morning as Cragen placed his phone back in his robe pocket.

"Who was that?" Olivia asked.

"Ed Tucker." Cragen sighed.

"Oh." Olivia said just as Elliot came back into the room, resuming his seat beside Olivia.

"He says there is a hearing today at the IAB to determine your status, you are both required to attend as am I and we can give a statement if we so choose." Cragen explained.

"Ok, what time?" Olivia asked.

"Nine." Cragen replied.

"We better get ready then." Elliot sighed getting to his feet.

Olivia didn't move as she had other things going on in her mind.

"Liv?" Elliot asked seeing her stationary.

"I can't. Melly's poorly." She replied.

"Liv..."

"Elliot, my daughter's sick I'm not going to sit in IAB for the day listening to people discussing whether or not we should be partners or not I'm sorry." Olivia explained.

"Olivia you don't have a choice, they won't give you your gun and shield back if you miss this." Cragen sighed, he felt for her but she had to be there.

"Olivia, I'll be here, I'll call you and Dani can teach me how to text so you'll know she's alright." Anne smiled gently.

"Ok, I want a text every hour and I'll call when I'm free." She replied trusting her Mom to be there for her daughter should the need arise, not that she didn't trust the nanny but mother's instinct where different and Dani didn't have any kids of her own.

"Ok, texts on the hour now go and get ready, you should put one of your skirt suits on and look presentable." Anne smiled.

"Thanks Mom." She smiled and she leant over and kissed her on the cheek before taking Elliot's hand and let him lead her away.

****

**Internal Affairs Bureau, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, September 17th 2008**

**8.52 am**

Olivia and Elliot were sat outside a room waiting for Cragen who had gone to find out exactly what was happening. They both held each other's hand unsure of what to say so just giving each other comforting squeezes every now and again. When Cragen came back they both jumped to their feet seeing the worry evident in his face.

"Well?" Olivia asked impatiently.

"This hearing is well ... the easiest way to describe it is that this hearing is almost like a trial, Lieutenant Ed Tucker will be fighting a case to have you split up and one of you transfer to another unit and Lieutenant Maria Keller is fighting to have you remain as partners. They both have a line up of people to talk to and ask questions too and they will cross examine each other, basically guys you're on trial." Cragen explained.

"Are you serious? Who's Maria Keller?"

"That would be me." A dark haired pale woman walked up to them with a smile on her face.

"Oh, nice to meet you." Olivia replied offering her hand to the woman.

"Nice you meet you too Detective Benson and Detective Stabler." She smiled shaking both of their hands.

"Ok so why are you fighting for us?" Olivia asked confused.

"My parents were in the same unit as partners, then they got together and had to separate and I never understood why that should happen if it didn't interfere with their work, when I heard about your case I started doing some research into the two of you and when I heard the facts I thought I'd take Lieutenant Tucker on." Keller explained.

"Oh well thank you." Olivia replied with a smile.

"You're welcome, it's going to be a tough few days but I don't see why he will win, wait till you see who I have defending your corner." Keller grinned shaking the jackets in her hand.

"Ok." Olivia nodded smoothing out the black day dress she had chosen having barely any tidy clothes that went nicely over her bump she was relieved to her Mom for buying her the maternity dress even though at the time she had laughed because she thought she'd never wear it.

"I'm taking a guess that this will take around three days and then a day or two with the board deliberating so we should know in a week what happens either way." Keller explained further.

"Thank you." Elliot smiled, he couldn't help but be grateful to the woman in front of him.

"Well we should go inside then, both of you will sit on the table beside me." She smiled.

Olivia and Elliot left Captain Cragen and followed Lieutenant Keller inside. They saw Tucker sat on a table alone and they went and sat at a table opposite him on a slight diagonal to a large table that Olivia knew would hold the board members, the people who determined hers and Elliot's future.

It took a while for everyone to be seated but once they were Ed Tucker stepped forward so he could give his opening statement.

"Members of the board, we are here to argue whether or not Detectives Benson and Stabler of Manhattan's Special Victims Unit should be separated or be the first to be a couple and be partners. I will show that having partners in a sexual relationship will complicate their job, making them a liability to the NYPD. I will prove that Detectives Benson and Stabler should have been split up a long time ago and that this is the final nail in their coffin." Tucker's voice drawled and Olivia couldn't help but have a rush of wanting to pummel him.

When Keller stood up Olivia slipped her hand into Elliot's beneath the table, she was terrified that the young woman wasn't up to the challenge of defending them.

"Detectives Benson and Stabler are two of Manhattan's finest. With a ninety seven percent case closure rate which hasn't slipped in five years. I will prove to you, the members of the board, that splitting Benson and Stabler up as partners will prove to be more costly than is worth. You will hear from multiple people who all have one thing in common, they have reasons that these two should remain partners." Keller retook her seat and smiled at Olivia gently.

"Lieutenant Keller call your first witness." One member of the board called.

"I call Detective Olivia Benson." Keller replied and Olivia took a very deep and shaky breath before getting to her feet.

She had to be sworn in just as she would in a courtroom, after unfolding her speech she had thrown together she held onto the podium as she prepared herself to give her statement.

"Detective Stabler and I have been partners for nine years now. If either one of us thought our relationship affected our job in any way we wouldn't have hidden it. Our job is important to both of us, the strangest thing for both of us is that we enjoy what we do when we do the job right. We're expected to be voices for the victims and catch the perpetrators and that is what we do and we do it well. I hope you will see that the fact Elliot and I have a relationship outside the office, it doesn't affect what happens inside the office." Olivia could feel her phone vibrating on her belt but couldn't answer it and hoped it wasn't important. "Neither one of us would ever put our relationship before a victim or perp, that I can say in all honesty. Detective Stabler and I have always been and will always be professional, we hold the rules that the IAB and OnePP have in highest regard, this being the first one we've ever chosen to break and the reason being is because we had too, we couldn't bring ourselves to be separated, we couldn't bring ourselves to transfer out of SVU when we both love working there. Asking us to either break up or transfer out is ridiculous and I hope you ..."

Elliot felt his phone vibrate for the eighth time but this time it was a text message. He slipped his phone out and checked it and when he saw the message his heart almost jumped out of his throat.

"Keller." He whispered leaning over to her.

She leant in to him so she could hear as Olivia's speech went on. When Elliot finished telling her, she had gone pale and jumped to her feet bringing Olivia to a stop and making all eyes turn to her. She didn't notice as she rushed to Olivia and leant in to whisper to her.

"What?" Olivia gasped loudly her own hand reaching for her phone. "I have to go. El!" She was panicking, her heart hammering in her chest.

Cragen was on his feet knowing something serious was wrong, Tucker and the board members were also on their feet unsure what was going on. Olivia, Elliot and Cragen ran out the door not stopping to say anything.

"Family medical emergency, her daughter has fallen gravely ill." Keller explained before also rushing after the family.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, September 17th 2008**

**10.12 am**

Olivia ran through the ER doors and to the front desk.

"Melissa Jasmine Benson, I'm her mother." Olivia told the woman.

"Room 212." The woman smiled and Olivia, knowing Mercy General like the back of her hand, rushed off followed closely by Cragen, Elliot and Keller.

Olivia's heart was hammering in her chest, she was running on adrenaline and she felt like she was in a living nightmare.

Finding the room she rushed inside and saw Anne and Dani either side of Melly's bed and Melly's pale, unmoving figure.

"What happened?" Olivia asked rushing to Melly's side and clutching her hand, leaning over the side of the bed and stroking her head.

"Her temperature kept climbing and she was delirious, very drowsy, I thought we'd give her a cool bath and then when I pulled her top off I saw this red rash type thing and as I was showing it to Dani she just went limp." Anne explained.

Olivia couldn't stop herself from getting teary, the last time her child had been lying in a hospital bed he'd died there. This terrified her.

"Hi you must be Mom?" A doctor came in a gentle smile on his face.

"Yes." Olivia replied her eyes flicking to the man then back to her daughter. "What's wrong with my baby?" She asked desperately.

"It's nothing to worry about, she has what's called Lyme disease." The doctor replied.

"That? You get that from ticks. Where has she been near a tick in mid September?" Olivia asked desperately.

"Sometimes they don't all die out, anyway we need to start her on an IV antibiotic course and put her in a cooling blanket to bring down her temperature." The doctor explained.

"Of course." Olivia replied knowing as she hadn't been there they hadn't been able to give her anything but emergency treatment.

"Ok well a nurse will be with you shortly to sort that out." He smiled then left as Elliot slipped is arms around Olivia's waist.

"Here that baby she's going to be ok." Elliot whispered rubbing his cheek into hers.

"I just ... I kept thinking ..." Olivia whispered tearfully.

"I know, I know you were thinking about Michael baby, but she's going to be ok." Elliot replied trying to hide his own tears.

"Olivia why don't you sit down? You don't need to be on your feet." Cragen suggested pushing the chair closer to the bed.

"I'm ok Pops, really I don't need to." She replied not wanting to move from the position she was with Elliot and Melly.

Keller who still stood unmoving, unsure what to do with herself, was surprised at hearing Olivia call Cragen 'Pops'. She didn't know of their relationship outside the office.

"I should go and explain that the hearing needs to be postponed." Keller decided to speak knowing she shouldn't be in this family situation.

"You know Keller, thank you for everything you've done but just hand them what you've got and tell them to decide, this hearing is a waste of time because I'm sure they've already decided and I just want to get my daughter better and then get back to work." Olivia explained.

"I can do that." Keller smiled. "I hope Melissa gets well soon."

"Thank you." Olivia replied and she watched the lieutenant leave before turning her full attention to Melly.

Everyone in the room watched the gentle rise and fall of the blonde haired baby in the large hospital bed, unsure what to do or what to say so choosing to just watch and be quiet.

****

**Hope you guys like the smut, I tried something a little different with it to what I normally do, I'm kind of trying to experiment a little with my writing style for my book. Your opinion as ever means a lot to me guys! **


	37. Chapter 37

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**Any ideas where this should go next? **

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 20th 2008**

**11.37 am**

"Mommy am I allowed home today?" Melly asked.

Olivia smiled, she'd been asking the same thing since Thursday and Olivia couldn't help but be happy at how much colour had returned to Melissa's cheeks. She finally looked like her old self now as the antibiotics had worked and she was getting better.

"I don't know baby, I mean the doctor said yesterday you might but we'll have to wait and see what he says today." Olivia replied not wanting to build her daughter's hopes up to see them get shattered.

"Is Uncle Elliot coming to see me today?" Melly asked playing with the blue bunny rabbit Elliot had bought her the day before.

"I should think so he's been here every day to see you Mel." Olivia replied closing the magazine from her lap and putting it on the table, Melissa was wide awake now and Olivia knew she wouldn't get any peace.

"Mommy?" Melly started.

"Yes baby?" Olivia asked.

"Can I go to school on Monday?" Melly asked without looking at her mother.

"We'll have to see what the doctor says Mel, ok? I'm not saying no but don't be disappointed if you have to take a few more days." Olivia smiled just as someone knocked on the room door and came in.

"Miss Lorraine!" Melly smiled as her first grade teacher walked in.

"Hello Melissa how are you?" She smiled coming to the bedside.

"Much better." Melly beamed.

"Hello Ms Benson." Miss Lorraine smiled.

"Hello Miss Lorraine." Olivia smiled getting up from her seat.

"Melly are you ok if Mommy goes and get's something to drink and calls Granny and Granddad?" Olivia asked seeing as her daughter had company.

"Uh-huh, tell Granddad to come here, he makes me laugh all the time." She explained to her teacher.

"Ok baby." Olivia smiled and she leaned in and kissed her daughter.

"I'll won't be long." Olivia told Miss Lorraine.

"Take your time." She smiled knowing it must be hard on the mother keeping vigil by her daughter's bedside.

Olivia headed off down to the cafeteria to get herself some bottled water before calling her soon to be parents.

"Hey Pops." She smiled hearing his friendly voice on the other side of the phone.

_Hello Olivia how's Melly doing. _

"Better, she won't shut up, wants to come home and would like to go to school on Monday." Olivia laughed.

_I'm sure, I have some news for you that may bring a smile to your face. _

"Ok?" Olivia asked her intrigue building rapidly.

_Keller called, you and Elliot have been cleared to work together for the foreseeable future, you can collect your guns and shields from my office on Monday._

"Wow, ok, I didn't expect that." Olivia was in shock, she'd been mentally preparing herself to having to decide whether she or Elliot would leave special victims.

_I know, there are some terms and conditions but I'll explain everything to you both on Monday if Melly's well enough for you to come in that is._

"Yeah absolutely, I'm hoping to have her home today, she's very much her old self." Olivia smiled thinking about her brown eyed little girl.

_I'm glad to hear it Olivia, your Mother and I will be over later on today if she isn't home by then._

"Ok, Melly was asking if you were coming." Olivia smiled knowing this piece of news would just cheer Melly up further.

_Well I'll let you get back and your Mom says hi too. _

"Hi mom." She laughed guessing she was on speaker.

_We'll see you later Olivia, Take care._

"Bye." She replied before the line went dead.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 20th 2008**

**1.52 pm**

"Melissa Jasmine Benson! Slow down!" Olivia yelled to the small blonde haired girl diving up the steps towards the front door which at that very moment flew wide open.

"Granny!" Melly smiled diving into the older woman's arms.

"Welcome home Melissa!" She beamed before moving out of the way for Melly to hug her Granddad.

"Hey Mel." Cragen smiled picking Melissa up in an embrace.

"Hey Granddad." She beamed.

Olivia came slowly behind them carrying Melly's holdall from the hospital.

"So she's home?" Anne smiled.

"Yup, she has to carry on taking antibiotics for a few days but she can go back to school on Monday and she's fine." Olivia smiled, she'd had quite a scare when her little girl had fallen ill, to have her home was a relief.

"Well come on, we'll get you a coffee and you can relax for a little, it's been a long few days." Anne smiled taking the bag from Olivia's hands before she could protest.

When she went into the living room she found Elliot and Melissa locked in an embrace and it just made her smile. When Melly finally pulled away Elliot got to his feet and pulled Olivia into an embrace.

"I missed you." She smiled hugging him.

"You saw me every day." Elliot chuckled.

"Not the same thing." She replied rubbing her cheek into his lovingly as he held her.

"I know." He whispered.

Melly rushed off to help her grandmother with the coffee, she'd found a new burst of energy from leaving the hospital and Olivia knew it was going to be a long day.

"Cragen said we get our shields back." Olivia smiled as they cuddled up on the couch.

"Yeah, I'm in shock." Elliot replied.

"Me too, I thought they'd definitely ask one of us to transfer." Olivia added.

"Yup." Elliot commented to busy stroking her hair to pay much attention, this was the most contact they'd had since Melly had been in hospital.

Olivia just smiled and cuddled up into him further, he stopped playing with her hair and slipped his arms over her shoulder with his hands coming to rest on her bump.

She was physically and mentally exhausted with the goings on of the past few days. She closed her eyes and before she knew it she'd fallen asleep in Elliot's arms.

"Someone's tried." Cragen smiled nodding his head towards Olivia has he headed for the second couch.

"Yeah, she has been sleeping in a hospital coat beside Melly's bed for three nights." Elliot replied knowing that sleep must have been hard to come by.

"When she gets back to work do you think she'd let me cut down her hours?" Cragen asked deciding Elliot's advice would save an argument with Olivia in the long run.

"Doubt it very much, why?" Elliot asked.

"Well I've never been pregnant but I've heard it's a tiring job." Cragen replied laughing.

"She's ok, I mean she does get tired but at the moment she's just exhausted with everything that's been going on between the suspension, Melly, the adoption, you and Anne moving in, her brain's been working overtime and she hasn't been resting enough, she'll be fine once she gets a good night's sleep." Elliot explained understanding why Olivia was so drained.

"At least with me and Anne living here now I can keep a closer eye on her." Cragen replied with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, she's got no way of hiding away from us anymore." Elliot added remembering how Olivia could lock herself away from everyone when she was worried or scared and she wouldn't let anyone in and now she had no option but to let them in.

When Melly and Anne came into the room they saw Olivia and became suddenly quiet, talking in whispers even though Olivia was a heavy sleeper.

"Elliot, why don't you wake her and tell her to go to bed she'll have a sore back sleeping there." Anne told him as she sat down with her tea.

"No if I wake her up she'll say she slept enough and fight the fatigue. Let her rest for a little longer." Elliot replied almost hearing Olivia's voice answering in his head.

"Have you got any plans for her birthday?" Anne asked wanting to make conversation.

"Not celebratory wise but she's decided she just wants everyone round for dinner here. I have decided what I'm buying her though." Elliot smiled gently, he'd been planning it for days.

"Ok well do you know who she wants over for dinner so we can arrange it?" Anne asked.

"The usual, Tammy, Fin, Munch, Alex and Casey, Melinda." Elliot read everyone's names like he was reciting a list, it was the same as always.

"Ok well invite them round, I'll cook and then she can just have a relaxing day." Anne smiled.

"I will." Elliot smiled back knowing that Olivia hated her birthday usually but this year he was going to make sure it was a birthday to remember.

As she shifted in her sleep he beamed, this was the woman he had always wanted to be with and now he had her and having her in his arms her remembered that he never wanted to let go.

****

**I always forget to change the A/N's either the one at the top or the one at the bottom but OHHHH WELLL! Trying to move the story along a little so next chapter is a fast forward to Olivia's birthday!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 27th 2008**

**06.21 am**

Elliot woke up and smiled, Olivia was still snoring lightly beside him and he had a perfect plan to wake her up this morning. Taking one finger he slowly caressed her arm and he felt the goose pimples rise under his fingers. He pressed his lips gently to her neck and slowly started kissing and sucking at her pulse point.

When Olivia woke up she realised she felt extremely aroused. It took seconds for her to realise that Elliot was kissing her neck.

"Morning." She whispered seductively.

"Good Morning." He grinned reaching up and capturing her lips in his own. "Now shhh, I'm working." He winked as he pulled back the duvet exposing her to the cold.

She bit her bottom lip as he pulled of her night gown exposing her naked body to him. His hands massaged both her breasts first and her back began arching to him, her arousal penetrating her.

"El." She groaned as he began to nip and tweak at her nubs, he'd settled himself in between her legs to take this further.

He clasped his lips down to one of her nipples and she groaned, wanting him to move further south where the moist pooling between her legs was waiting for him. He didn't make her wait long as he clasped his lips to hers he stroked a finger along her slit making her moan into his mouth.

He quickly slipped his finger inside her and her hips bucked towards him as she groaned he grinned. He twisted his finger before starting to pump at an extremely slow pace making her frown as her breath slowly began to get shallower.

"Elliot!" She groaned a little too loudly as he placed a second finger inside her.

"Shh!" He laughed knowing they had people who they would both prefer not to hear them.

She bit down on her bottom lip, her climax edging closer making her whimper and moan.

He sped up, sensing her frustration at his slow speed but then she sat bolt upright and made him stop.

"I want you." She whispered and he grinned as he looked into her brown eyes, she didn't want any more foreplay she just want him.

He quickly pulled off is boxer briefs and once again climbed above her. He held his weight up with one arm, weary all the time of the growing bump as he slipped his hardened member inside of her once again her hips bucking as she let out a very low grunt. He clasped his lips to hers knowing should Melissa wake up she'd catch them at it and he didn't want to have to explain to a five year old what they were doing.

Her hips grinded upwards towards his, both of them moving in tandem to each other as she stroked his perspiration covered cheek. He rubbed his cheek further into her hand enjoying the connection and twist it bought to their love making.

He knew by now how she liked it, it was an old dance but he withdrew from her and she looked at him unsure what was going on.

"Turn over." He whispered and she grinned, she knew what he wanted to do.

She complied and turned over going onto all fours. He knelt behind her and quickly thrust into her again taking a moment to feel the new position they had. He grabbed her hips and started pounding into her, making it rougher than what they could when she was on her back with the bump in the way. She had to bite hard on her bottom lip to stop herself calling out, this was something new between her and Elliot but she was definitely enjoying it. It was hard, the sound of their ragged breaths could only just be heard over moans, grunts and slapping skin. She was biting so hard on her bottom lip that she drew blood but she didn't care, she couldn't feel any pain from it because the only thing she could feel was pure pleasure.

"El! Oh my El ... I'm ... I'm gonna..."

"I'm with you." He replied both of their voices a breathless whisper.

He slammed into her again and he felt her release which just triggered his own as he slammed into her once again. She quivered and trembled as he rode her through both of their releases. She could barely keep her own body weight up and when she felt him retract from her she flumped to the side trying to catch her breath.

"Happy Birthday Baby." He smiled leaning in and kissing her.

"I think it is." She replied breathlessly.

He kissed her, sucking and nipping at her lips trying to soothe the outside of her bottom lip where blood was clearly visible.

When they heard the bedroom door opposite their bedroom go they realised they had to get up too and go downstairs.

"I don't think I can move." Olivia laughed hoarsely.

"Why don't you have five minutes to yourself while I go downstairs?" He asked her, he actually had another agenda in mind.

"Ok." She nodded knowing she couldn't have gotten up at that moment had she even tried.

He leant over and kissed her once more before climbing out of the bed and pulling his sweats and robe on before making his way downstairs where he met with Don and Anne.

"Morning." He smiled switching on the kettle.

"We've bought the gifts down to put on the table like she did with Melissa." Anne smiled nodding her head towards the dining room where they'd be having breakfast.

"I had the same idea." He smiled going into the cupboard that Dani used to keep the cleaning supplies.

He pulled out a large box which was full of gifts in all shapes and sizes.

"Someone's been spending." Cragen pointed out.

"Well I've bought her something from all the kids including Melissa and there are a few things in there off me too." Elliot smiled before turning on his heels and heading to the dining room to add his gifts to the table.

Dani joined him moments later with gifts of her own for her boss.

"She's going to row you." Elliot smiled seeing the three gift bags in the Nanny's hands.

"I know but I couldn't resist." Dani replied. "Now waffles for breakfast?"

"Yes Liv's favourite." Elliot grinned at her.

When they went back into the kitchen they found Olivia had joined Don and Anne at the kitchen table.

"Happy Birthday Olivia." Dani smiled seeing the detective.

"Thanks Dani." Olivia replied returning the smile.

As a loud rumble from above echoed around them they realised that the kids were up. Olivia smiled, she was so glad that her birthday had fallen on the weekend the Stabler kids would be with them.

"Happy Birthday!" They all chorused coming into the kitchen.

"Thanks guys!" Olivia smiled at them as they all rushed to give her a hug.

"Why don't you all go into the dining room and I'll bring breakfast through when it's ready?" Dani suggested.

Everyone agreed and Olivia's eyes were covered by Elliot as he led her to the gifts waiting for her. She gasped loudly when they were revealed as she hadn't been expecting anything like this. The array of colourful wrapping paper and gift bags brought tears to her eyes.

"Liv you haven't even opened them yet." Elliot laughed gently.

"I know I just ... I don't know." She shrugged trying to wipe away at the tears dripping down her face.

She made her way to the seat at the end of the large table and waited for everyone else to be seated before picking up the first gift.

"To Liv, love from El." She read before opening the small gift bag.

She pulled out a small black box and slowly opened it before gasping out loud. Elliot smiled, that was the reaction he'd wanted from her but he hadn't been sure if he'd get it.

"El!" She whimpered tears filling her eyes.

"Do you like them?" He asked and she just nodded as she reached over and hugged him.

"Can we know what you got?" Anne asked impatiently.

"He's bought us both a gold necklace, one each, his has the number four zero one five and mine has the number six three one three they're each other shield numbers." Olivia explained.

"Awww." Anne smiled, she'd become a very soppy romantic since she'd married Don Cragen.

Olivia smiled and placed the box on one side as she reached for the next gift.

"Olivia, love from Dani. I'm gonna kill her!" Olivia laughed as she began to open the bag.

She pulled out a bottle of non-alcoholic wine and smiled, she could have a drink today even though she was pregnant.

After placing the bottle on one side she picked up a large envelope with her name on it. Without hesitating she opened it and the forms she pulled out made her mouth fall wide open. Her eyes scanned the document and then flicked up to Don and Anne.

"Happy Re-Birthday." Don Cragen smiled.

"Happy Re-Birthday Daughter." Anne added.

"I ... I ..." Olivia couldn't even gather a sentence.

"Liv?" Elliot asked unable to see what she was holding from where he was sitting.

Olivia jumped to her feet and rushed around and both Don and Anne stood to receive a tight embrace and kisses on the cheek.

"I ..." Olivia's eyes glistened with tears and she still couldn't gather a coherent sentence.

"I take it you're happy?" Cragen smiled, he certainly was.

She just nodded still not sure what to say.

"Ok can someone tell me what you gave her?" Elliot frowned seeing the three happy faces in front of him but not knowing why.

"Adoption papers." Anne replied.

Elliot just smiled, he'd known that they would have arrived soon but to have them given to her on her birthday was truly an amazing idea and Olivia was still speechless.

"Why don't you open something else Liv?" Elliot suggested knowing she was struggling to find words.

She nodded and gave one last smile to her parents before sitting down back at the gifts.

"To Mommy love Melly." She read and smiled at her daughter.

It was a small clock surrounded by pictures of Melly and Olivia together and it was engraved with Melly and Mommy. She grinned and thanked her daughter and seeing the look on Elliot's face she guessed he was the one who bought it and thanked him too.

"To Olivia, love from Lizzie." She smiled picking up the next gift bag.

It was three beautiful pashmina's one in red, one in rose and one in lilac.

"Thanks Lizzie." Olivia smiled going over to hug the twelve year old.

All in all she was spoilt rotten receiving a Mommy and me Photo shoot day from Anne, A spa day for two from Cragen, some candy from Dickie, a couple of books from Kathleen, some costume jewellery set from Maureen, a gold and ruby ring with matching earrings from Elliot and more books from Dani.

"Thank you everyone." She smiled once she'd opened everything.

Dani served them breakfast and once Olivia was done she went into the living room to sign the adoption papers and get ready for the afternoon when everyone else would arrive.

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, September 27th 2008**

**4.38 pm**

Munch and Fin were the first to arrive, Olivia was sitting in the living room with the family when they both handed her a gift bag each over.

"Thanks Fin, Thanks Munch," She smiled getting up to hug them both before sitting back down to open them.

Fin had bought Olivia a bottle of perfume and Munch surprised everyone by buying a relaxing bath set instead of the usual conspiracy novel. Melinda arrived next and she bought Olivia a journal, she knew Olivia had kept one in the past but she hadn't since Mikey's death but now she had a new one she couldn't see where the harm would be in starting again. Alex and Casey arrived together and they gave Olivia a candle set for the living room and a charm bracelet with four charms; a four leaf clover, a guardian angel, a small circle with 'friend' inscribed and the last was a crib.

The kids were all playing in the library and the adults were all gathered in the living room drinking.

"Ok Olivia, come on we want to know all about your pregnancy." Alex called across the room.

"What's there to say?" She shrugged unsure what Alex was saying.

"I don't know, I've never been pregnant but I have read up on it since you have so we want to know what Nicole has been doing to you." Alex replied honestly.

"You've been reading up on pregnancy since I've been pregnant?" Olivia asked a slight disbelieving laugh as she played with her wine glass swirling the contents in her hand.

"Yes I have, now come on spill!" Alex laughed.

Olivia looked around at her friends nervously, unsure whether or not they would actually want to hear but they all seemed to be listening intently.

"Ok well I'm nearly twenty seven weeks pregnant now, I'm craving coffee more and more which is awful because that decaff stuff tastes like crap." Olivia laughed. "And it seems Nicole has shifted upwards because I find it sometimes my breath is shorter, Elliot and I are going to an antenatal class tomorrow aren't we babe?" She smiled giving Elliot's hand a little squeeze.

"Yup, can't wait." Elliot said his face answering that he could definitely wait making both Munch and Fin laugh.

"Any ideas on the nursery Liv?" Casey asked.

"Well, Nicole will be in our room for a little while but we're going to have the nursery ready before she comes, I want to make it pink obviously." Olivia smiled back, she actually knew exactly what she wanted for the nursery down to the very last item.

Suddenly Olivia jerked making everyone around her look, her hand was pressed to her bump and her face was something between confusion and worry.

"Liv?" Elliot said sitting up from the couch and putting his hand on her back.

Her face slowly turned into a smile but everyone around her just looked confused.

"Liv what is it?" Elliot asked unsure what to do.

"I think ... I think Nicole has hiccups." She said half laughing.

"Hiccups?" Fin asked.

"I read about that, usually begins around the twenty sixth week apparently it feels a lot like you have hiccups without them actually coming up." Alex replied smiling.

"I got them all the time with Tammy and Cole it was a nightmare, Cole seemed to have them every night just as I went to bed." Anne smiled.

"I don't think I want to get used to this." Olivia laughed, holding her stomach with both hands.

"You won't." Anne laughed making everyone around them laugh too.

"I can't wait for her to be here to be honest I've had enough of swollen ankles and feet and aching back." Olivia replied sinking back into Elliot's shoulder.

"And as soon as our Nicole Anne arrives you'll be complaining that you're not pregnant anymore." Anne sniggered.

"We'll see." Olivia rippled finishing off her non-alcoholic wine.

She couldn't help but be happy with her family and friends surrounding her, she was ecstatic.

**Really trying to move this along, I have some funny scenes coming up so bare with me.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**09.33 am**

"We've got a case!" Cragen called coming into the bullpen.

The four detectives rushed to the white board where Captain Cragen stood with four jackets ready to hand them over to the waiting detectives.

"Ok so this has been handed to us from homicide, Lilly West was one of our rape victims, as was Hannah Meadows, Patricia Cross and Georgina Richards." Cragen explained as the detectives opened the jackets.

"Cap I was the primary on all of these." Olivia said looking at him in shock horror.

"I know Liv." He replied feeling sorry for her.

"Ok so what have we got for the perp?" Elliot asked making the father and daughter break eye contact.

"Nothing. The only common denominator is the fact they were all raped and that they were all Olivia's cases." Cragen explained.

"So either he's after rape victims or he's after Olivia?" Munch asked.

"Just make me feel better." Olivia mumbled under her breath.

"Exactly that's why I requested the case. We need to go through Olivia's old cases and see who's out and who threatened her and see what we can come up with ... the only bonus being that Olivia is on a desk..."

"Woah! I am NOT sitting on a desk while this guy is killing victims I not only worked it with but bonded and connected with and helped!" Olivia snapped.

"Liv please baby, you're pregnant and the last thing you need is stress." Elliot replied turning to her.

"I'm going to be less stressed out in the field trying to find this creep than I am sat at a desk waiting to hear from you lot." Olivia spat.

"Fine. Olivia you're with Elliot on this Fin and Munch you too can work together back to the old ways, all of you go through Olivia's files and see what we can find and then we'll go from there." Cragen sighed, "Liv a word." He added nodding his head towards the office door.

Olivia Sighed and knew she was about to get a talking to. Her captain had already given in and allowed her to work this case out in the field but her father on the other hand wouldn't give in is as easily.

"Olivia ..."

"Pops don't, let me work this I'll be fine." Olivia explained.

"I ... You're Mom ..."

"Doesn't need to know." Olivia replied firmly.

"Yes she does, I'm not going to lie to your mother Olivia I can't believe you even suggested that." Cragen explained honestly and slightly angrily.

Olivia sighed and sat down knowing he was about to give her a long rambling warning about being safe on this case.

"I don't need to warn you to be careful Olivia, your Mother and Elliot will do enough of that. Just please, I am begging you _please_ be aware when you're out there. Think of Melly and Nicole when you're fighting perps ok?" He asked.

"I will. I won't do anything to put myself at risk ok _Dad_. I swear." Olivia replied, turning the tables on the father/daughter moment.

"Ok, ok go on." He said raising his eyebrows towards the door.

She gave him a reassuring smile and headed off to help the men who were digging through her old files. They all knew it was going to be a very long day as this case was now personal.

"Could the perp be a woman?" Elliot asked after about half an hour of digging through Olivia's files.

"I guess so, these crimes aren't sexual at all, we have them because they're my old victims." Olivia replied throwing down yet another manila folder.

"Someone get Huang, he's good at profiling and he could tell us if the perp could be a woman..." As Elliot walked in Cragen rushed to them.

"Benson, Stabler there's a fifth victim, here's the address." Cragen explained as Elliot and Olivia got up.

"Liv why don't I take Fin on this?" Elliot suggested.

"Don't you dare." She replied snatching the address from his hand and walking to get her coat.

He sighed, he only wanted to protect her but she had always been so stubborn and head strong and even though she had let him in a substantial amount he knew there was still some way to go.

****

**Central Park, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**11.28 am**

"What have we got?" Olivia asked as they headed towards the ME.

"Natasha Proctor, age twenty one found her drivers license beside the body." Melinda replied handing an evidence bag over.

"She was raped when she was seventeen another one of my cases." Olivia sighed as she looked at the picture on the license.

"This one is slightly different." Melinda explained getting to her feet as two assistants began to put the body in a bag.

"Go on." Elliot nodded.

"This one was raped." Melinda replied.

"Seamen?" Olivia asked hopefully.

"Nope sorry." Melinda replied. "But he messed her up, severe vaginal trauma, bruised and bloodied."

"Great, and no DNA." Olivia sighed visibly pissed.

"Sorry, I'll know more when I get her on my table." Melinda replied before heading off leaving the detectives.

"O'Hallaran! Got anything for us?" Elliot called knowing anything was better than the nothing they had so far.

"Nope, clean as a whistle so far!" O'Hallaran called back.

"Right come on let's go and see if Munch and Fin have anything in my old files yet." Olivia sighed marching off towards the car.

Elliot sighed and rubbed his forehead knowing that this case was weighing down on Olivia and she was obviously worrying.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**12.41 pm**

Once back at the precinct Olivia and Elliot met with Munch, Fin and Cragen who had a lot of information about possible perps.

"Ok so we've narrowed it down to five people who could be involved. Split them up between you and then find out what they've been doing since they've left prison." Cragen explained.

"I don't think the person involved is an ex con." Huang replied stepping forward his hands in his pockets.

"Ok?" Olivia frowned not understanding.

"I do think it's someone with a grudge against Olivia. The last victim was raped where the others weren't I think the man knows the case has been passed to SVU and is now making them SVU cases, I'd look at perps who didn't end up in prison." Huang explained.

"Ok so do we go back to the beginning?" Elliot asked.

"Yes, look at cases that Olivia got close to the perp and sympathised with him." Huang replied.

"I could name you those." Olivia spat, she was tired and cranky.

"Go on then?" Fin replied.

"Uhhhh..." Olivia began.

"Exactly." Fin spat he was also cranky.

"Ok Olivia and Elliot go and talk to the ME and then go and talk to the CSU guys and don't leave until you have something. Munch and Fin go back to the files and see what you can find."

"Cap that's nine years of files!" Fin replied.

"Yes I know and I don't care!" Cragen hissed before walking back to the office slamming the door tight behind him.

"Let's go." Olivia sighed to Elliot.

****

**Morgue, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**1.56 pm**

Olivia and Elliot walked into the cold morgue and Melinda greeted them with a sigh.

"What?" Olivia asked recognising the sigh at being something bad.

"There is nothing I can give you that I haven't already. He strangled her just like all the others, she was raped both virginally and anally post mortem." Melinda explained.

"Anally?" Olivia frowned.

"Yup, unusual but it happens." Melinda replied.

"Liv that could be something for us ... sodomising her? I mean, if we speak with Huang I bet he can give us a new take on that." Elliot added.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded, this case seemed to be getting a lot more complicated and none of it put her at ease.

"Right well let's go back to the one six and then see where we can go from there." Elliot sighed.

"Yeah, thanks Mel." Olivia sighed before following Elliot out the door.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**2.16 pm**

Olivia and Elliot walked back into the bullpen and explained all the information that Melinda had given them and waited patiently for Huang to sum it all up for them.

"Ok so I would say that the person you're looking for is either gay or was accused of being gay in some way by either Olivia or someone else involved in a case Olivia worked." Huang explained.

"Right we need to narrow down the list Munch and Fin have to those people who have any association to being gay or gay crimes in some way or other." Cragen replied.

"We can narrow that down a lot, we have Father Michael?" Munch said waving a file.

"Oh come on Father Michael was a great man, he gave us our case against the catholic church!" Olivia snapped.

"Wasn't he kicked out of the priesthood?" Huang asked looking over the file.

"Yes?" Olivia shrugged.

"It could be him then, he's angry, he's not a priest anymore so it easily could be him." Huang explained having scanned the file.

"Ok but where do we find him now?" Elliot asked. "This case was seven years ago."

"I don't know but find him." Cragen sighed.

"Wait I don't think Olivia should be out there." Huang interrupted just as everyone was about to move.

"Wait! Why?" Olivia asked in annoyance.

"I think he's building up for his grand finale, he killed four people you were the primary on, then when you caught the case which I suspected he was waiting for he raped and sodomised and I think he's coming after you eventually." Huang replied honestly.

"You're right, Olivia you're off this case and you can get behind a desk." Cragen replied sadly.

Olivia's mouth fell open, she'd argued to be on this case and Huang in seconds had tarnished that.

"Cap..."

"Don't argue about it Olivia I want you back on a desk." Cragen replied storming off into the office.

She wasn't about to argue so she followed him.

"Olivia I'm not ..."

"I'm not going to argue with you." She replied going to sit down.

"Ok so what'd you want?" Cragen asked seeing fear flash in Olivia's eyes.

"I don't think it's Father Michael but ..." She bit her bottom lip trying to hide how scared she actually was.

"What is it Olivia?" Cragen asked.

"I don't want to be here while this case is going on. I have some time can I take it?" Olivia replied honestly, avoiding his gaze.

"Ok, but you can go on maternity now if you want, I mean, might be easier." Cragen replied.

"I don't know, I'll get bored but I don't want to be here knowing what's going on with the case but stuck behind a desk. If you need to talk to me I'll be on my cell." She sighed getting to her feet.

"Ok, I'll see you later." Cragen replied disheartened.

He could only watch as Olivia left the office, her shoulders lower than he had ever seen them before and he had to admit he was worried about her. Sighing, he got to his feet and walked over to the door.

"George!" He called over the bullpen making the doctor come over to the aging captain.

"What is it Don?" He asked.

"How dangerous do you think this person is?" Cragen asked the concern unmistakable.

"Don, I know you're being a concerned father and you're right to be." Huang explained. "Whoever this is, is definitely setting up to go for Olivia I'm almost a hundred percent wrong."

"Could ..." He sighed and knew there was a chance of this all blowing up in his face. "Could you go to our house and speak with her? Make sure she's handling this." Cragen replied.

"I will." Huang replied. "Only if you do something for me..."

****

**Benson-Stabler Residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**3.28 pm**

Olivia sat on the couch nursing a decaff coffee cuddled under her throw blanket when Anne walked in with George Huang.

"Mom?" She asked looking from the doctor to Anne.

"Your father asked him to come." Anne replied honestly as Cragen had called her to explain.

"Ok." Olivia sighed knowing it was better to calm Cragen's fears than it was to behave like a spoilt teenager.

"I'll leave you two to talk then." Anne smiled walking off as Huang took a seat.

"How are you feeling Liv?" Huang asked as soon as he was sat down.

Olivia sighed and placed his mug on the coffee table before sitting back in the couch and pulling her blanket up further.

"I ..." She began but cut herself off unsure what to say to him.

"Ok why don't you tell me why you chose to come home rather than sit behind a desk?" Huang asked.

"I didn't want to sit there and listen to what whoever this is, is doing to those girls. It's my fault that this is happening!" Olivia said breaking out into wracked sobs.

"What's making you think that it's your fault?" Huang asked as Olivia tried to stop her sobs.

"I ... I ... It's ... I ..." Olivia hiccupped.

Anne who could hear the hiccupping sobs from the kitchen rushed in and wrapped her arms around Olivia.

"You are not talking to her anymore!" Anne said tears in her eyes.

"Mrs Cragen..."

"NO! I don't want my daughter upset and stressed. She's pregnant!" Anne yelled angrily.

Huang nodded and got up to leave. As he closed the living room door where he could hear Anne trying to calm Olivia down he took out his phone so he could call Captain Cragen.

"Hey Don, Olivia's distraught I couldn't get much out of her before your wife busted in and refused to let me talk to her any further... Ok... bye." Huang sighed and left the house leaving Olivia and Anne together.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**4.36 am**

Huang walked straight into the Captain's office when he arrived back.

"How is my family?" Cragen asked seeing the defeated doctor taking a seat opposite his desk.

"Olivia's beating herself up and Anne is just a concerned parent." Huang shrugged. "Nothing more I can tell you than that."

"Shit. Father Michael is becoming a likely suspect minute by minute so I don't know what to do. I need ... I'm so frustrated." Cragen sighed putting his head in his hands.

"Olivia will be ok. She's safe at home with her mother and daughter. You need to worry about our perp though."

****

**Really trying to move this along, I have some funny scenes coming up so bare with me.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**05.43 pm**

"Ok what have you got for me?" Cragen asked getting frustrated from this case.

"Well it looks like Father Michael's is becoming a very likely suspect he's MIA too." Elliot sighed, he was frustrated, this was going towards his girlfriend and soon to be wife who was pregnant, he was pissed.

"Yeah Father Michael's was kicked out the priesthood after Elliot got him to sell the bishop out. He may have been mister nice guy but from what Father George the new father at the church says that Father Michael went there just after he was kicked out damning Elliot." Munch replied.

"Ok so if he was damning Elliot why is he going after Olivia?" Cragen asked.

"He's been watching." Huang replied.

"Me?" Elliot asked.

"At first, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's watching Olivia now." Huang explained.

"Ok I'm putting a protective Detail on Olivia and on Melly just to be on the safe side." Cragen sighed picking up the closest phone.

"She'll kill you." Elliot warned.

"I don't care and as long as you and I keep our mouths shut she won't even know about it." Cragen replied.

"Fine, but right now I need to go because Liv has an antenatal class and if I miss it she'll have balls in a vice." He replied grabbing his coat.

"We're fresh out of leads, the lot of you can go and then I'll see you all in the morning." Cragen replied dismissing all his detectives.

****

**Antenatal Unit, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, September 29th 2008**

**07.03 pm**

Olivia and Elliot walked into the unit hand in hand. They saw a lot of pregnant women and their partners or friends or relatives all gathered around and talking.

"Hi, I'm Amanda Harrow and this is my husband Darryl." A blonde haired, blue eyed woman around the same age as Olivia smiled.

"I'm Olivia Benson this is my fiancé Elliot Stabler." Olivia smiled back greeting the woman.

"When are you due?" Amanda asked nodding her head towards the bump Olivia was clutching at.

"Jaunary the ninth." Olivia replied.

"I'm January the tenth!" Amanda laughed.

"Isn't everyone here near enough around the same date?" Olivia asked.

"Yes but most of the people I've spoken to are having late January early February babies." Amanda smiled.

"Ohh." Olivia replied.

"So your first class right?" Amanda asked sensing Olivia's discomfort.

"Yes, is it that obvious?" Olivia replied with a nervous laugh.

"No, it's just I haven't missed a class and I have been waiting for someone who isn't in their early twenties to show up!" Amanda replied laughing.

"Oh yeah, I noticed everyone else seems a bit young." Olivia said looking back at a group of girls talking.

"Yup. Oh look Nurse Mary is here we should all go and sit down." Amanda smiled and she linked arms with Olivia to lead her away.

Olivia just raised her eyebrows at Elliot and smiled to show that she was already comfortable.

"Don't worry my wife won't hurt her, she's just enthustiastic." Darryl laughed seeing Elliot's face.

"Oh I'm not worried about her, I just ... I have four kids from a previous marriage and I didn't have to do this sort of thing." Elliot explained he was just uncomfortable with the whole thing.

"Olivia's first?" Darryl asked.

"Oh yeah, she has an adopted daughter with her ex but her first biological child." Elliot replied honestly.

"Ah well I understand why she would want to come here then, believe me I was terrified about the birth and things till I came here, the first time I thought it may be a waste of time but now I count my blessings for them!" Darryl laughed before heading off to sit beside his wife, Elliot having to separate from the gentleman to sit beside Olivia.

Nurse Mary was barely thirty, she looked naive and Elliot knew Olivia would have something to say about that. He laughed when she looked at him with her eyebrows raised visibly something going through her mind.

"Ok Moms, Dads, friends and families today we're going to discuss breastfeeding. Does anyone know whether or not they want to breastfeed?" Nurse Mary looked directly at Olivia knowing she was new and wanted to sense her out.

"Uh I'm not planning on breastfeeding." Olivia replied her voice shaking with nerves.

"Ok do you want to share with the group why not?" Nurse Mary suggested her voice warm and welcoming.

"I'm planning on going back to work as soon as I can I just think it would be easier for both me and Nicole if she's on formula." Olivia replied.

"Don't you think your baby would be better off with your milk though? It protects the baby for much longer." One woman said snidely and Olivia realised she was obviously against people who didn't breastfeed their kids.

"She probably would be but I am not comfortable breast feeding my child, I want her to be bottle fed for many reasons, one being it's easier to manage formula milk, it's also going to be easier when I go back to work..."

"You're planning on going back to work already?" Another woman asked and Olivia noticed she was obviously a stay at home mom type.

"Yeah, I'm going back after Nicole turns four months." Olivia replied. "If not sooner, depending on how I feel and if I think it's right for me and Nicole."

"Seriously? Have you even taken Maternity leave yet?" The same woman asked snottily.

Olivia realised she was going to butt heads with people over her choices.

"No. I am currently off work because it came to light that I was at risk and would be better off at home but I am planning on going back for a few weeks when that risk subsides." Olivia explained.

"And what is it you do for a living?" Nurse Mary asked stopping the stay at home mom in her tracks.

"I'm a cop." Olivia asked. "A detective as is my partner." She added nodding her head towards Elliot.

"On and off the job." He smiled before flashing a wink at Olivia making her grin childishly.

"Ok so has anyone else decided whether or not they're going to breastfeed?" Nurse Mary asked looking around the room.

"Well I'm definitely not!" Amanda called out.

"Why not Amanda?" Nurse Mary asked.

"Same reasons as Olivia, it will be easier for me and Jamie here if I don't breastfeed her because I am planning on going back to work and it is easier to manage formula milk." Amanda replied.

"Goodness you two are ridiculous you're older than half the people in this room at least and you're both choosing to formula feed your kids and your planning on going back to work... some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids!" the stay at home mom called making both Olivia and Amanda look at each other, Olivia was unsure how to react but Amanda had a cheeky smile on her face which somehow reassured Olivia.

"I think we'll leave that topic there for now, how about we all make our way over to the beanbags?" Nurse Mary called knowing things would get out of hand if she let them continue arguing with each other.

Olivia got up and Amanda turned to her.

"Some kids! She's a trust fund baby who won't even have to look after the kid so I don't know where she gets off on telling us how to look after ours!" Amanda laughed.

"I sensed." Olivia replied laughing a little.

"Come on, we should park our asses together and annoy them further by discussing how hard it is to work when you have a bump in the way." Amanda smiled cheekily leading Olivia to the beanbags.

"Ok so today we're going to practise breathing techniques for the birth, I'm sure some of you have already started having Braxton hicks and it would be a really good idea to practise these breathing techniques every time a Braxton hick happens so your body is more prepared for the birth." Nurse Mary explained.

"I haven't had them yet." Olivia told Amanda.

"Oh I have, started about a week ago, they're not too bad, and Jamie has kicked me worse!" Amanda laughed.

"Oh." Olivia replied settling back into the beanbag.

"Ok so if you haven't already decided how you're going to give birth or how you hope to give birth you should really begin discussing it with your birthing partner so you're prepared together and should you be unable to talk your birthing partner can communicate on your behalf confidently. Now if the birthing partners would like to kneel either beside or in front of Mom ..." Nurse Mary waited as all the partners shifted Elliot looked at Olivia and then at Amanda and Darryl before moving opting to just copy.

"Now take your partners hand or hands." Nurse Mary called.

Olivia extended her hands to Elliot who was now kneeling in front of her.

"This is uncomfortable." Olivia laughed having to open her legs and put her feet either side of Elliot just to be able to reach his hands.

"I know." Amanda replied hearing her.

"Ok now I want you all to close your eyes and think about that first contraction hitting you." Nurse Mary called and all the mothers did as they were told, Olivia closing only one eye and quickly scanning to be sure before actually closing both eyes.

"Now I want you to take a deep inhale through the nose..." Olivia did as the nurse instructed and she could hear every other expectant woman in the room doing the same. "... then slowly exhale in short bursts."

Olivia started to do as the nurse had instructed but deciding to peek at Elliot and seeing him trying not to laugh made her burst out in a fit of giggles which also made Amanda and Darryl laugh.

"I'm sorry." Olivia laughed trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks from where she was laughing too much.

"Don't apologise just try again." Nurse Mary smiled having come over to her.

Olivia nodded and the closed her eyes again taking a deep inhale through her nose but she only started to exhale before she couldn't suppress the laughter anymore.

"Elliot I blame you." She said as soon as she got the laughing under control.

"What? Why?" He asked playing innocent.

"Because you're making me laugh!" She replied trying not to burst out laughing again.

"Oh ok I'm sorry." He said faking guilt.

"Yeah right." She replied nudging him with her foot a little too hard that she knocked him off balance but as he was holding her hands he took her with him both of them falling on their side in a heap.

"Liv are you alright?" He asked worrying that she was hurt but she was already laughing her head off as was Amanda but Darryl looked as worried as Elliot.

"Are you ok Olivia?" Amanda asked through her laughter as Olivia tried to push herself up.

"No..." Olivia laughed. "I can't get up."

"Hold on, Darryl help Elliot." Amanda told her husband.

Both men stood up either side of Olivia and gently managed to pull her to her feet.

"I'm sorry!" She cried her laughter still evident.

The men just shared a look that showed they didn't understand why they had been so worried when she was visibly alright, they knew it was because they were worried fathers and lovers and they were over compensating because they didn't understand that a small topple wouldn't do any damage to either the baby or the mother.

"Sorry." Olivia said again managing to sit back down on the beanbag and wipe her fresh tears from laughing.

"You're insane Olivia." Amanda replied having to wipe her own tears of laughter, both women failing to notice the dirty looks that were being flashed at them.

"Oh if only going into labour was as fun as this." Olivia replied to the woman she knew she would be friends with.

"Ok why don't we move on to massaging Mom?" Nurse Mary called knowing that the rest of the group were becoming agitated with Olivia and Amanda who couldn't stop laughing.

Elliot grabbed the bag Olivia had packed knowing she'd put in the baby lotion.

"So if Mommy's want to roll up their tops and relax back into the beanbags then partners can get to work, remember to warm the lotion in your hands and never break contact, try talking to the baby and your partner while you're doing this, it's a great way of bonding with each other and the child." Nurse Mary explained and Olivia relaxed back as Elliot glanced nervously at Darryl.

"Elliot just go with it don't look so terrified." Amanda called having turned to look at Olivia so she could say something but spotted Elliot's worry.

He just nodded as he warmed the lotion up in his hands.

"Ready?" He asked Olivia who just nodded, she was ticklish and was dreading becoming a fit of giggles again.

Elliot slowly placed his hands on Olivia's bump and she shivered a little before relaxing as he started to rub the lotion in.

"Hey Nikki. Your Mommy is really naughty, I hope she isn't scaring you too much with all this laughter." Elliot said trying to relax but paranoid that other people would be watching them.

Olivia was in fits if giggles and hand linked hands with Amanda who was also laughing, both of them just needing to look at each other to make each other laugh as if they were thinking the same thing at the same time.

At the end of the class Olivia and Amanda switched numbers with promises to text each other and enjoy each other's pregnancy.

****

**A mixture of heavy with light hearted going on here. **


	41. Chapter 41

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**Ok there's a lot of SAME TIME DIFFERENT PLACE going on in this chapter so keep an eye on the place and time!**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**08.21 am**

"Melly hurry up!" Olivia yelled up the stairs knowing that they would be late if they didn't hurry up.

"I'm coming!" Melly yelled running towards the stairs.

"Slow down you know no running on the stairs!" Olivia yelled having a minor seizure seeing Melly at the top of the stairs.

"Sorry Mommy." Melly replied taking each step slowly until she came to stop three from the bottom and handing Olivia her red shoes.

"Red shoes? Melly you have school, you know you wear black shoes too school." Olivia replied with a knowing look at her daughter.

"But why Mommy?" Melly asked stretching the words.

"Because schools have rules Mel, it's like ..." Olivia grabbed the black sandals from the bottom of the stairs as she thought about how to answer.

"You know Mommy catches bad guys who break the law and then they get punished right?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah?" Melly nodded passing her feet over to Olivia so she could put on her shoes.

"Well school rules are like little laws so if you break a rule you're a bad guy and you get punished." Olivia explained.

"So you go to jail for breaking rules?" Melly asked innocently.

"No baby, but you can be sent to the principal's office." Olivia replied. "Or they call Mommy and then you get a row so you have to keep to rules like you keep to the law."

"So I'll never be allowed to show Crystal and Missy my red shoes?" Melly asked a frown on her brow.

"How about when Mommy finishes work before she has the baby Mommy will ask Missy and Crystal's Mommy's if they can come and play and have lunch?" Olivia suggested.

"Yeah!" Melly smiled.

"Ok, than that's a deal ok?" Olivia smiled. "So Mommy will talk to Mrs Thomas and find out if she can ask Missy and Crystal's Mommy's for their number ok?" Olivia added.

"Ok can we go now?" Melly asked her hands out to the side with frustration.

"Why don't you get your coat on and I'll get my shoes?" Olivia smiled handing the thin pink cashmere coat her grandmother had bought before going to get her own sneakers on and grabbing her purse.

"Here's your bag Mel, don't forget you've got piano tonight after school yeah?" Olivia smiled grabbing her own purse and keys.

"I know and then Dani will pick me up..."

"No Mommy will pick you up today because she's not working unless something happens to change the plan." Olivia replied as Melly walked out into the cool September air and pulling the large door close behind them.

"Ok." Melly smiled taking her mother's hand to walk the few blocks to the school.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**08.34 am**

"I've just been given the heads up that Olivia and Melissa have both left for the house together both of them with separate details so one has rushed off ahead to the school." Cragen told the men as he joined them in the bullpen.

"Ok thanks for the heads up but if she finds out she's going to freak." Elliot replied, he wasn't against them having details but Olivia would definitely freak out if she knew, she was still a cop and as she hadn't decided whether or not to go on maternity yet she still wore her gun and shield so he knew she was protected.

"I know Elliot but I'm happier lying to her and knowing she's safe than telling her the truth and having her stop them and threaten them." Cragen explained. "Now where are we going this morning?"

"Warner called and said they found another girl last night, I didn't bother calling you Cap so I called in Fin and after a canvass we got three people describing ... one Father Michael... on top of that when we came back here we started placing the victims up on the board and found that the first five make an upside down star if you link them in the order they were killed." Munch flipped over the board and showed the connection they had made.

"Ok?" Elliot was confused until he saw a bright blue dot. "Wait ... that's our street Cap." Elliot exclaimed pointing to the blue dot in the centre.

"You're right." Cragen nodded in agreement. "I want a unit on my wife too." He added his heart hammering inside his chest.

"Cap if IAB get ..."

"IAB can kiss my ass I want a unit outside that house on my wife, she doesn't go out alone anyway but I want to make sure if anyone delivers anything to my house they're stopped and questioned until Father Michaels is in custody." Cragen snapped, he was worrying more now.

"I'll get on that." Fin replied picking up a phone.

"No Fin I'll do it, you and Elliot go speak with the family of the next victim ... what was her name?"

"Ahh well ..." Munch and Fin shared a look that said it wasn't good.

"Well I'm waiting?" Cragen asked again.

"Her name was Melissa Olivia Cole." Munch replied.

"Ok that is not a coincidence." Elliot added his eyes wide with horror.

"It probably is Elliot." Cragen replied.

"No, there is no way that this guy killed a random girl and her name happens to have Melissa, Olivia and Cole in it." Elliot spat angrily.

"Where on earth did he find someone with that name?" Cragen replied.

"Long Island." Munch shrugged.

"Ok for now we treat it like it is a coincidence. Elliot and Fin head off to speak with the girls family not that it will do much use but they need to know that their kids dead and also ask if she was known to Father Michael take a picture with you in case it's someone they met after he lost his priesthood. Munch I want you on radio with both Olivia and Melissa's PD and make sure that nothing sounds suspicious. I am going to set up a detail on Anne." Everyone headed off in different directions to get on with their job.

****

**Sacred Heart of Jesus School, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**08.56 am**

"Ok you have a good day." Olivia smiled kneeling down in front of Melly.

"I will Mommy." Melly replied wanting to rush off.

"Give me a kiss." Olivia replied puckering up.

Melly wrinkled her nose but kissed her mother before wrapping her arms around her neck in an embrace.

"Mmm I love you baby." Olivia smiled.

"Love you too Mommy." Melissa replied.

"Ok go on, and remember piano after school." Olivia called as Melly rushed to the door.

"I know!" Melly called back before being swallowed into the crowed entering the school.

Olivia just smiled as she turned on her heels and headed off, she had no intention of going home yet wanting to go and get some more bits and bobs for Nicole.

She was lost in thought as she walked down the block trying to make mental lists of things she was yet to get for Nicole's nursery. The air was quite cold even though the autumn sun was shining making Olivia need to wear her aviators. As she walked into a quieter street she got the overwhelming sense that she was being followed or watched. Knowing how to follow someone she decided to react by slowing right down and listening for footsteps before speeding up still listening. As her suspicion grew she pulled out her phone and slipped into the nearest store.

"Hey El." She smiled.

_Hey Liv everything ok?_

"Of course, I was just wondering what you're up to." Olivia replied innocently.

_Nothing just finished talking with someone about to go back to the one six. _

"Could you come and pick me up?" She asked.

_Of course why? Where are you?_

"I'm in the laundrette beside Barney's Babies and I have severe back pain and my ankles have swollen again." Olivia replied.

_In the laundrette?_

"Yes, I didn't quite make it into the store." Olivia laughed softly trying to hide her real concern.

_Ok Fin and I will be there in ten._

"Thanks baby I love you." She hung up the phone and headed outside to wait making sure to lean against the wall and look around trying to take everything in and see if anything looked suspicious.

As promised Elliot was only ten minutes and when he stepped out of the car Olivia wrapped herself in his arms needing to feel him and his warmth.

"What's up?" Elliot asked sensing something was wrong.

"Nothing." She lied.

"Yes there is come on spill." He replied.

"El ... I think ... I don't ... Someone was following me." She whispered.

"Ok come on let's go." He replied opening the back door of the car for her.

Olivia didn't argue and got straight into the car.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**09.09 am**

"Why would Olivia get into a laundrette?" Munch asked going into the office.

"What?" Cragen asked looking from his paper work.

"The PD radioed in and said Olivia went into a laundrette after dropping Melissa at school." Munch replied.

"Ok?" Cragen shook his head unsure what he meant.

"They also said she sensed she was being followed because she pulled back and slowed down and then sped up but they continued to hold back so not to spook her." Munch explained.

"Anything else?" Cragen asked.

"Yeah she came out of the laundrette with her phone in her hand and leant up against the wall studying her surroundings they guess because she was wearing sunglasses but typical cop behaviour, she was then picked up by Elliot and Fin and they're following them back here." Munch replied just as footsteps approached them.

"Hey." Olivia smiled pushing past and going into the office, throwing herself down onto one of the chairs.

"Olivia." Cragen replied, everyone else taking this as their signal to leave.

"I don't want to read the crime board." Olivia replied explaining why she had marched straight into the office.

"Ok." Cragen nodded not wanting to rattle her and not knowing what she knew.

"Is there any other suspects but Father Michael?" Olivia asked frowning.

"No Liv there isn't." Cragen replied honestly.

"Ok, what are the chances he's following me and if he is why?" Olivia asked wanting to know about Michael but not wanting to know anything about the victims.

"I don't know." Cragen replied honestly. "But enough about the case Olivia, will you sit down with Huang for me?"

"Why? I don't need a shrink I need this prick off the street!" Olivia spat jumping to her feet and beginning to pace.

"Liv, please!" Cragen pleaded.

"No ... Pops... Dad ... I don't need a shrink." Olivia replied. "I want to walk down the street without thinking he's watching me." Olivia replied angrily.

"I know, Jesus I know Olivia but please, for Nicole, sit down with Huang." Cragen replied trying to cry out to her mother's instinct.

"The sooner this pregnancy is over the sooner you and Mom can stop using Nicole as a way of getting me to bow down to your ever will!" Olivia spat.

"That's unfair Olivia." Cragen replied visibly hurt.

"Is it? Because everything... Everything you have asked of me for weeks have been "do it for Nicole" or "think of Nicole" it's unfair because you know all I want is for Nicole to be born happy and healthy." Olivia snapped.

"That's what we want to Olivia but not only that but we care about you and your well being too." Cragen explained.

Olivia just looked at him and folded her arms before she sighed and shook her head.

"Fine I'll speak with Huang if it will make you happy _Daddy_." Olivia replied adding the 'daddy' to show her annoyance.

He just smiled, it was rare for her to call him dad but it was the first time she'd ever called him 'daddy' even if she was being sarcastic.

"He's upstairs working on locating Father Michael." Cragen told her.

She said nothing that before walking off straight upstairs to speak with Huang. Without even looking at him she sat on the couch opposite the armchair he was occupying curling her legs up beside her and resting her hands on her bump.

"Liv?" He asked.

"Daddy wanted me to speak with you." She said her eyes narrow with anger.

"Ok so why did Daddy want you to speak with me?" Huang asked keeping up with her sarcasm visibly making her angrier.

"Because for the first time in the time I've been a detective a case is getting to me." Olivia replied.

"It is a different case Liv, he's after you because he wants Elliot. It's very unique." Huang replied.

"I've had perps after me before, they don't get to me this way not ... last time when Eric Plummer killed people that I ... People I'd worked with and he wasn't the last either George, I don't know why I'm so paranoid and jumpy." Olivia explained sighing almost every other word.

"The situation is a little different this time Liv, you're a mother now and expecting so you're obviously going to be a lot more paranoid." Huang explained gently.

"I guess." Olivia shrugged.

"So except for paranoid and jumpy how are you feeling?" Huang asked moving on.

"What except for fat and tired?" Olivia asked sarcastically. "I'm fine."

"Are you? You said yesterday that you felt like it was your fault." Huang replied.

Olivia sighed loudly to show her frustration.

"Do you still feel like it's your fault?" Huang asked.

"I don't ... No but ... Yes ... I don't know George I mean I know it's not my fault but then I feel like it is and that doesn't even make any sense." Olivia replied the frustration getting more and more obvious.

"It's perfectly normal Olivia, you know that you're not to blame for this, you know that Father Michaels is to blame but because they're your victims and you're the link your natural reaction is to blame yourself." Huang explained.

"Right." Olivia shrugged not really caring. "You know I just want to go home now." She added getting to her feet.

She headed downstairs and popped her head around Cragen's door.

"Where's Elliot?" Olivia asked.

"He's out with Fin everything ok?" Cragen asked.

"Yeah I'm going to head home." Olivia replied.

"Ok I'll get uniform to take you." Cragen said grabbing the phone.

"No I'm going to walk, it's not far and the sun's still out." Olivia smiled gently.

"Olivia, please?" Cragen asked.

"Dad I don't need a babysitter, I'll text you when I'm home so you know I'm safe ok?" Olivia replied.

"Ok, I'll see you later." He nodded and she gave him a smile before going home.

****

**En route Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**10.23 am**

Olivia put her hand in her pockets as she walked towards home. She was much more conscious of her surroundings, the sounds of people around her and the street noise. Slowly she became a lot more aware of a certain car noise and a set of footsteps behind her.

She slowed right down and slowly reached to her hip for her gun. She came to a complete stop and made sure she was clear of any pedestrians before clutching it tight.

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" She yelled turning with her gun aimed at the person whose footsteps had been following her four the past three blocks.

"I'm a cop! I'm a cop I've got a badge!" He yelled his hands up.

"Where?" Olivia asked her eyes narrow again with anger.

"Top pocket." He replied calmly as another cop walked towards them his badge clearly in his hand.

Olivia reached in and pulled out his shield.

"PD?" She asked recognising the badge. "Who ordered it?"

"Captain Donald Cragen." He replied as Olivia clipped her gun back into her hip.

She gritted her teeth angrily.

"Take me to the one six." She hissed looking at the cop who'd come from the car.

"Right this way Ma'am." He replied pointing his hand towards the unmarked cop car.

Olivia followed her anger having reached boiling point.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**10.53 am**

Olivia marched straight through the bullpen into Cragen's office.

"You put a protective detail on me?" She asked.

"Liv..."

"Don't you dare! You didn't even ask me! You didn't even tell me! Only the rat squad puts cops on other cops _Dad._" Olivia spat angry, her face was red and she had sweat upon her brow.

"Olivia!" Cragen replied sadly.

"No Dad! Why didn't you tell me at the least? When did you put them on me?" Olivia asked leaning on the desk inches away from his face.

"Yesterday when you left." Cragen replied sighing.

"You ... You ... Oh my God." Olivia clasped a hand to her head, her eyes closed with as she tried to calm herself down.

"I'm sorry Olivia." Cragen replied.

"No. No no no sorry won't cut it Dad, you ... you sat at the dinner table last night and at breakfast this morning and didn't tell me that you had cops watching me." Olivia replied tears dripping down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Olivia I just didn't know what else to do." Cragen replied.

"I'm not ... I'm not mad." Olivia replied dropping her head.

"You're not?" Cragen replied one eyebrow dropped in confusion.

"No ... I'm pissed with you but I'm not mad. You should have told me Dad you could have I mean you had plenty of opportunity to." Olivia explained.

"Then maybe I should tell you now that there's a detail on Melly and your Mom too." Cragen replied.

"Good." Olivia replied taking a seat opposite the desk.

"Good?" Cragen replied.

"Yes good at least I know my daughter and mother are protected." Olivia replied just as the phone began to ring.

"What?" He said answering his phone.

Olivia looked at him and saw that his face slowly went white.

"Ok, yeah we're on it." He hung up and rubbed his hand across his mouth.

"What is it?" Olivia asked recognising the worry in Cragen's eyes.

"There's a seventh vic." Cragen replied getting to his feet.

"There's more to it than that what aren't you telling me?" Olivia asked getting to her feet too.

"Come on you need to be there." Cragen explained heading to the door.

"Elliot come here." Cragen called seeing the detective at his desk.

Elliot came over as uncertain as Olivia was.

"What is it?" Elliot asked taking Olivia's hand in his own sensing that something was wrong.

"There's a seventh victim Elliot." Cragen explained.

"Alright why aren't we going to the scene and why is Liv here?" Cragen asked looking from Olivia too Cragen.

Cragen swallowed hard, he didn't want to have to tell the detectives what he knew but he knew he had too.

"The ID on the body was Daniela Garcia." He whispered.

"No! No no no!" Olivia cried out before turning her head into Elliot's shoulder.

"It's a popular name Cap." Elliot whispered.

"I know, let's go to the scene and see what the ME has for us." Cragen replied his hand on Elliot's shoulder.

Olivia could barely stand and Elliot and Cragen had to help her walk to the car.

****

**It gets heavier guys but it will be fluffy again soon I swear. **


	42. Chapter 42

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**I know it's dark but the story is called LOSING don't forget that. **

****

**Hudson River, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**12.12 pm**

"Melinda?" Cragen called as he, Olivia and Elliot walked up the embankment.

"Captain, Liv, El." Melinda replied getting to her feet.

"Is it her? Is it Dani?" Olivia asked desperately hoping that it wasn't.

Melinda didn't answer she just looked at Cragen so Olivia marched up to the covered body and knelt down.

"Liv don't." Elliot replied kneeling down beside her.

"I have to." She replied her shaking hand moving towards the covered body.

Elliot could only wrap and arm around her as she slowly pulled back the blue paper cloth and revealed the red head nanny's face.

"It's her." Olivia whispered.

"Liv." Elliot replied pressing his head into her temple.

"El..." She whispered her voice shaking.

Melinda and Cragen could only watch as the two detectives sobbed silently.

"How did she ..." Cragen asked his own tears glistening in her eyes.

"Same as the others to the letter." Melinda replied.

"Shit." Cragen spat. "I need to get my daughter home."

Melinda just watched as Cragen went over to re-cover the body before helping Elliot move Olivia.

"Why?" She croaked. "Why?"

"I don't know baby come on let's go home." Elliot replied helping Cragen almost carry Olivia.

****

**Benson Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**1.04 pm**

"Mom!" Olivia croaked as they walked into the house.

She fell into her mother's embrace breaking out in wracked sobs.

"I've got you baby. I have you." Anne replied not knowing yet what had happened.

"Anne..." Cragen began his voice shaking.

"What's happened?" Anne asked knowing there was something a lot more serious than a threat upsetting her family.

"Daniela is dead." Cragen replied.

Anne's eyes filled instantly with tears and she sobbed with her daughter. Cragen and Elliot managed to take them into the living room instead of standing in the hallway.

"She can't be dead." Olivia sobbed. "She's just a girl."

"I know." Anne replied holding Olivia and stroking her hair.

"I'll go and collect Melissa from school." Cragen said getting up from the couch.

"No." Olivia replied getting to her feet and wiping her tears. "No, I'm collecting Melissa and I'm telling her, she's going to know straight away and I have to be the one to tell her."

Cragen could only watch as Olivia grabbed her car keys.

"Let me come Liv." Elliot said grabbing her arm gently.

"Ok." Olivia nodded and Elliot could see the pain in her eyes, this wasn't just the death of the Nanny in them, he could see the death of her mother, her son and her ex fiancé being relived behind her brown orbs and it sickened him.

****

**Sacred Heart of Jesus School, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**1.36 pm**

"Olivia, you're here to collect Melissa?" Diane Thomas asked coming over to the detective she now knew so well.

"Yes, err, we've had a sudden death." Olivia replied trying to be a cop for a moment to stop her gried taking over.

"Oh right ok. Lorrie can you get Melissa Benson from her class and bring her to my office?" Diane asked turning to the secretary.

"Of course Mrs Thomas." Lorrie replied before heading off.

"Why don't we go through?" Diane replied her hand signalling the door.

Olivia and Elliot walked through holding hands tightly, Olivia was visibly trembling as she tried to hide her tears.

"Who passed?" Mrs Thomas asked as soon as they were seated.

"Melissa's Nanny, Daniela, she was found murdered a couple of hours ago." Olivia replied honestly.

"Oh goodness me. Daniela was a wonderful young woman and she visibly loved Melissa." Diane Thomas said just before there was a knock on the door. "Come in."

The door opened and Melissa entered with Lorrie.

"Thank you Lorrie." Diane smiled gently dismissing the young woman as Melissa walked straight into Olivia's open arms.

"Mommy? What's happened?" Melly asked sensing there was something wrong.

Olivia pulled her daughter up onto her lap and as Melly pressed her cheek into Olivia's shoulder Olivia stroked her cheek, comforting her before she gave her the news.

"Melly, Dani ... Dani's gone to be with Jesus." Olivia explained softly.

"What?" Melly asked pulling away from Olivia's shoulders so she could look into her eyes.

"Dani got poorly and went to be with Jesus." Olivia said again her voice a little stronger as Melissa's eyes filled with tears.

"She died?" Melly asked and Olivia realised that her daughter was wiser than her years.

"Yes baby Dani died." Olivia replied her own eyes filling with tears as Melissa's tears slipped down her cheeks.

"NO!" Melly yelled wrapping her arms tight around her Mother's neck.

Olivia held as tight as she could as she and her daughter broke out in wracked sobs. Elliot wrapped his arms around the two and kissed both of them on the head as his own tears slipped down his cheeks. Diane Thomas couldn't hold back the tears she'd been suppressing and she wiped them with her finger knowing that the family in front of her had already suffered so much heartbreak and it broke her heart to think it was happening to them again.

"Come on baby we need to go home." Olivia whispered. "Granny and Granddad are waiting for us."

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**02.21 pm**

The family all sat in silence in the living room unsure what to do with themselves. They were all crying silently holding each other in some way as they waited for Munch and Fin to arrive, Olivia had already ID'd the body so that was one thing less for them to do but they still had to speak with the detectives. When they finally arrived Cragen let them in and it killed them to walk into a room with so much heartbreak.

"We went to see Daniela's mother, she said she disowned Dani and she had herself killed." Fin said softly.

"What?" Olivia asked turning to face her co-workers. "I mean I know they had a really big argument last time she went home in the summer but I didn't know it was that bad." She croaked.

"Her mother said she'd be happy to pay for the funeral but as she worked and lived with you then you should arrange it." Munch added.

"We don't want her mother's money. I can pay for the funeral." Olivia replied. "I want to pay for the funeral."

"We can do that Liv." Elliot told her giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Munch, Fin, please ... just go out and find the bastard who killed her." Olivia replied before the tears gushed down her cheeks once again.

"We will we've got some leads Liv and we're going after him." Munch replied.

"We'll get him baby girl." Fin said before Cragen led them out into the hallway.

"What leads have you got?" Cragen asked once he'd closed the living room door.

"We've got a possible location, we've contacted Casey and Alex ..." Fin grabbed his phone. "Tutuola...Ok...we're leaving Benson's now... ok bye." He hung up and looked at the Captain. "We've got the warrant."

"Ok get a team and then find him before my family gets hurt anymore than they are already." Cragen replied before going back into the living room.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**3.55 pm**

The only movement in the Benson/Stabler/Cragen household had been Anne making sandwiches and Coffee. Everyone else had just sat in the living room in silence, crying.

When Cragen's cell rang everyone shifted uncomfortably and when he saw the caller ID he rushed out into the hallway grasping both Olivia and Elliot's attention.

"Cragen." He answered.

_We've got him. _

"I'm on my way." Cragen replied before hanging up.

When he went into the living room again he saw that Elliot and Olivia were sat up waiting for information.

"They've got him." Cragen said.

"Then why are we sitting here?" Olivia explained getting to her feet.

"Liv..."

"NO! I want to see him!" She yelled.

"Ok... ok come on." Cragen replied and Elliot and Olivia got to their feet.

"Mel you stay with Granny ok? We won't be long." Olivia explained to her daughter.

Melly rushed off to Anne's arms as the three cops walked out.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, September 30th 2008**

**4.22 pm**

Olivia and Elliot stood looking in at Fin and Munch interrogating Father Michael.

"He looks so..."

"Old." Olivia sighed finishing Elliot's sentence for him.

"I was thinking different, I remember him as being such a clean man." Elliot replied.

Inside the interrogation room Father Michael was sitting grinning at the two detectives.

"I will only talk to Benson and Stabler." He exclaimed.

"They don't want to talk to you." Fin replied but Olivia banged on the glass calling the detectives out of the room.

"Olivia?" Cragen asked.

"Let me and Elliot talk to him." Olivia replied.

"I can't."

"He's not going to talk otherwise." Olivia explained.

"Ok go on." Cragen shrugged as Munch and Fin moved out of the way of the door so that Olivia and Elliot could go inside.

"Ahh Detectives Benson and Stabler, or are you Stabler and Stabler now?" Michael smirked making himself more comfortable in his chair.

"Try Cragen and Stabler, or it will be soon." Olivia replied using the surname she'd have legally as soon as the adoption certificate arrived.

"Cragen? Isn't he the ... the uh... Captain but he lives with you too doesn't he?" Michael replied.

"You'd know, you're the one who has been watching mine and Elliot's every move." Olivia replied coming to stand right in front of him as Elliot went to stand by the side of the two way so he could watch and leave the talking to Olivia.

"Yes so where does you being Cragen come into it?" Michael asked.

"Oh your information doesn't extend that deep?" Olivia replied.

"No it doesn't but I'm interested Detective." Michael smirked.

"Captain Cragen is my adoptive father Michael." Olivia replied a small smile on her face at being able to say that, a moment forgetting all the pain she was feeling as she thought of his love.

"Oh, right." Michael replied. "How lovely. You're a mother now to a little girl... Melissa isn't it?"

Olivia's nostrils flared at the sound of her Daughter's name.

"You had a son too, Michael right?"

She turned to look away her eyes stinging with tears her anger at boiling point.

"Why did you kill those women?" Olivia asked knowing they needed to move on.

"Because they were dead anyway." Michael replied.

"No they weren't they had lives!" Olivia spat leaning on the table in front of the ex priest.

"No they didn't you left them, you left them dead and moved on to the next dying person and helped finish them off just like your partner did to me!" Michael spat.

"Why kill Daniela?" Olivia asked getting to the question she wanted to ask most of all. "Dani wasn't dead, she wasn't a victim, she was family, she was my daughter's Nanny but also a second daughter to me so why her? Why did you kill her?" Olivia asked the tears running down her cheeks but she made no attempt to stop them.

"You did kill her. Her mother disowned her because of you." Michael replied.

"Because of me? Because of me? Her Mother would have disowned her no matter which family she went to but at least with me she had a second family!" Olivia yelled and then there was a bang on the two way that had Olivia storming out.

"We don't need to hear this Olivia." Munch told her a yellow notebook in his hands.

"Just take me home." Olivia told Cragen and he nodded as Elliot slipped an arm around her shoulders.

"Let's go." He whispered leading her away.

****

**Duh Duh Duh! Does everyone remember who Father Michael is? Or is it just me because I recently watched the episode? Lol! **


	43. Chapter 43

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**Funeral 6 days after body was found. **

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, October 6th 2008**

**9.12 am**

It was like Mikey and Cole's funeral over again. Olivia was sat on the couch holding Melly and Elliot held around them both while Anne and Cragen held each other's hands on the other couch.

They all wore black and some form of pink, just as Olivia had requested. They were waiting for the rest of their friends and then the funeral cars to arrive.

When there was a knock on the door Olivia handed Melly over to Elliot before going to open the door.

"Hey Baby Girl." Fin smiled gently pulling her into an embrace.

"Hey Fin." She replied dipping into his hug welcoming any comfort.

He kissed her temple and rubbed her back knowing that she needed to be held for a moment and he wasn't going to reject her when she was so weak and vulnerable.

"Thanks." Olivia smiled gently as she pulled away.

"Morning Liv." Munch said also pulling Olivia into his arms.

Once again she held around her friend as tight as she could taking in his warmth and comfort.

"You're ok Liv." He whispered into her ear.

"I know." Olivia replied gently before letting him go.

They walked into the living room to wait for the funeral cars in silence, no one knew what to say to one another.

****

**Blessed Hearts Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, October 6th 2008**

**10.26 am**

Olivia, Melly and Anne walking into the church behind Elliot, Cragen, Munch and Fin who were carrying the coffin. It would be a simple service with only a handful of Olivia's friends and some of Dani's friends.

Olivia had pictures printed larger for the church and had wreaths made with her name and 'Nanny' from Melissa and as the song 'One moment in time' by Whitney Huston played they slowly made their way to the front pews.

Melly and Olivia couldn't help but feel so low. They'd not only lost Dani but they were back at the church where the funeral for Michael and Cole had their funerals which seemed as a constant reminder that in two thousand and eight they had lost so many people.

Olivia sat and listened to the service holding around Melly with Elliot holding around her. She wasn't really paying much attention, she was numb. When she finally had to get up to speak she trembled but pushed Elliot's supporting hand away wanting to do this on her own.

Arriving at the stand she held one hand on her bump while the other held her speech steady.

"Uh, thank you all for coming today. Dani was a spectacular young woman. When she applied to become our Nanny we knew she was the one from the get go. She was perfect. Melissa described her as Funny and pretty when we asked her if she wanted Daniela. She came to work for us that same day. Waking up the next morning to the bright sparkly redhead was just wonderful, she was just perfect and not only because she knew how to do her job but because she just fit into our crazy family unit. We all adored her and she wasn't just Melly's nanny, she was like a sister to me a best friend that I confided a lot of things to, a person I asked advice from which I don't do easy. She was a sparkling light when things were dark. She made us all smile and she will be truly missed by all of us." Olivia bowed her head down and sniffed before making her way back to her seat as another hymn began to play.

****

**Benson Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, October 6th 2008**

**1.16 pm**

Everyone at the funeral had been asked back to the family home for the wake. Olivia was sat alone in the library when there was a knock on the library door.

"Come in." She called absentmindedly wondering who would knock before coming in.

When Olivia turned her head and saw she jumped to her feet.

"Ms Benson..."

"Olivia." She replied.

"Olivia, I wanted to thank you for everything you did for my daughter in life and in death." Mrs Garcia said.

"Oh ok." Olivia shrugged not wanting to talk with the woman who'd disowned her daughter even in death.

"It was a very wonderful service and thank you for burying her by her father." Mrs Garcia said just as Elliot walked in.

He saw Olivia looking upset and walked to her wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Why did you come?" Olivia asked.

"She was my baby." Mrs Garcia shrugged.

"Yes she was but you still disowned her and told my partners, the cops, that you thought she deserved to die." Olivia spat angrily her voice raised making Cragen and Anne walk in with Melissa in tow.

"I never wanted to say that I was upset and I didn't know what to do." Mrs Garcia replied flicking her red hair over her shoulder in the exact way Daniela did.

"You know that girl adored you. You were her mother and you still ... even when she was dead ... you didn't deserve to have such an amazing child!" Olivia hissed tears flooding down her face as more people entered the library which had moments ago been Olivia's sanctuary from her friends and Dani's friends.

"Olivia I'm sorry. She was a magnificent young woman to so many and I didn't realise it at the time."

"So you waited until she was dead to realise. We should love our children doesn't matter what they become or do, that's what mothers do! I can't believe you had the audacity to even show your face today after what you said!" Olivia yelled.

"Ms Benson she was my daughter! I love her even though I don't want to! I tried to feel nothing for her."

She was stood a bit too close to Olivia who lost in a slugged her.

"Liv!" Elliot said as he and Cragen restrained her.

"You didn't want to love her? She was your baby! You were supposed to love her no matter what!" Olivia screamed.

"I will be reporting you for assault!" Mrs Garcia spat grabbing her cell phone.

"I think you should leave." Anne replied getting in between a struggling Olivia and Mrs Garcia.

"Expect a visit from the police." Mrs Garcia replied before turning on her heels.

Everyone watched the red head woman leave before Elliot and Cragen finally let go of Olivia's arms.

"Why did she come?" Olivia asked the floodgates opening.

"I don't know baby." Elliot replied pulling her into his arms as the crowed that had gathered began to spread back into the house leaving the family alone.

"She shouldn't have come here."Olivia sobbed into Elliot's shoulder. "She shouldn't have."

"I know." Elliot whispered stroking her hair as he held her to him.

"Excuse me we're looking for a Ms Olivia Benson." A uniformed officer called from the door.

Olivia didn't move but she knew it was a cop.

"Detective Olivia Benson." Cragen replied. "She's right here."

Olivia lifted her head showing her tear sodden face.

"We've had a complaint of assault by a Ms Garcia." The uniformed officer replied.

"Ok?" Cragen shrugged.

"We have to take her in." He explained.

"I don't think so, she's just buried one of her best friends, her daughter's Nanny you're not taking _MY _detective anywhere." Cragen spat.

"Sir I'm sorry you know how it goes." The uniform replied his voice shaking a little having to go up against someone he guessed was high up.

"Who's your Captain?" Cragen asked.

"Captain Winters." He replied.

"Call him, tell him Cragen wants a word at the precinct." Cragen replied. "Liv honey you're going to have to be taken in." He said turning to her.

"I know." She shrugged, there was no way this complaint was going to just go away, this was the second time she was being arrested for assault.

She held out her arms so she could be cuffed. The uniformed officer hesitated looking from Olivia to Cragen.

"I thought you said you had to take her in?" Cragen asked.

"I do but I could offer a surrender." The uniform replied.

"You'll lose your shield, just cuff me and be done with it." Olivia explained turning around and putting her wrists behind her back.

The uniformed officer was extremely gentle, making sure he didn't close the cuffs to tight that they'd hurt her before holding her bicep to lead her away.

"Say nothing Olivia! I'm calling a lawyer now!" Cragen said rushing out followed by Elliot, Munch and Fin.

Anne held Melissa's hand and just watched unsure what to do.

****

**27****th**** Prectinct, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, October 6th 2008**

**3.06 pm**

Olivia was uncuffed and put straight into interrogation. She knew how it worked but she also knew Captain Cragen was doing whatever he could to have the charge disappear before Olivia lost her job. When two detectives came in she looked at them knowing they were going to begin questioning her.

"My father has asked for a lawyer, you can talk to me." She said before either man could say anything.

"We know. We just wanted to say we're sorry that you've been bought here under these circumstances Detective Benson, we understand your family is going through a tough time and we are trying whatever we can to make these charges disappear." One detective said sitting in front of her.

"Ok, uh, thanks." She replied.

"Except that Ed Tucker is on his way." The other said.

"Shit." Olivia spat dropping her head in her hands.

"This interview is over, my client evoked you shouldn't even be in this room." Miranda Pond smirked as she walked into the room.

The two detectives sighed and walked out. Olivia wasn't stupid, she knew they were threatening her with Ed Tucker hoping she'd confess before her got there.

"Olivia." Miranda sighed as Olivia embraced her friend.

"Thanks for coming down here." Olivia replied.

"Don't worry I'll have you out soon Cragen's sorting out some stuff and there's a couple of detectives working on the complainant to get her to drop the charge." Pond explained.

"It doesn't make much of a difference, I mean this is the second time I've been arrested for assault Miranda." Olivia replied.

"It does, we have a room full of witness who heard what she said and this is where extreme emotional distress is real." Miranda explained. "I wouldn't have to make up any story because this is a very real case."

"I'd still lose my Gun and Shield though" Olivia replied angry with herself for losing control.

There was a knock on the door and George Huang entered.

"Hey Liv." He smiled gently.

"Hey George, coming to shrink the perp?" she laughed softly trying to lighten up the darkness she felt around her.

"Could I speak with Olivia?" He asked turning to Miranda.

She looked at Olivia for her answer and when Olivia nodded she got up and left. Huang took the seat opposite Olivia and clasped his hands in front of him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Why?" Olivia replied suddenly feeling like she should behave like a perp instead of her usual self.

"I'm just here because your father asked me to." Huang replied using "your father" as a hope of getting het to open up.

"My dad asked you to be here?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, he wants to make sure you're emotionally ok for your sake and for Nicole." Huang replied honestly.

"Ok." Olivia nodded. "I'm feeling ..." Olivia bit on her bottom lip unsure what to say.

"Liv?" Huang asked leaning into the table as he tried to read her face.

"I'm not feeling anything." She shrugged.

"Ok, how about before you punched Ms Garcia?"

"Are they listening in?" Olivia asked nodding her head towards the two way.

"They shouldn't be, you've evoked and whatever you and I talk about it confidential." Huang replied.

"Ok before I slugged the woman I just felt furious there's no other way to describe it." Olivia answered honest.

"Ok and what about when you hit her? What was going through your head then?"

"I..." Olivia bit down on her bottom lip again and shifted uncomfortably.

"What is it Liv?" Huang asked.

"It felt like ..." Olivia's voice was a mere whisper. "It felt like I was watching it happen, that it wasn't actually me doing it."

"That's normal Liv, its definite EED, you dissociated." Huang explained.

"Is it though? I've never felt like that before." Olivia replied.

When there was a knock on the door both of them turned to look and see Captain Cragen walk in.

"Dad?" Liv asked looking at him.

"We can go home. Mrs Garcia dropped the charges and sends her apologies for upsetting you especially with you being heavily pregnant, she says she was just angry." Cragen explained as Olivia got to her feet.

"Thanks Dad." She replied wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his hands around her back.

"Let's go home honey." He whispered as Elliot came into the room with her coat, she hadn't realised how cold she was.

"Thanks." She whispered as he put his arm over her shoulder, both men leading her out into the squad room.

****

**Ohhh bet you weren't expecting that! Lol! It does get nice again soon but going to show you a little bit of the court room scenes with Father Michael and then see where I feel like taking this story. **


	44. Chapter 44

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**Funeral 6 days after body was found. **

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, October 7th 2008**

**5.02 am**

Olivia sat in the kitchen alone nursing a glass of non-alcoholic wine. She wanted the real thing and thanked God that she was pregnant because had she not been the wine wouldn't have been non-alcoholic.

She was lost in her own thoughts. Wondering about the future she had to make and how she was going to make it. For Melissa and Nicole, for Elliot, her parents and for herself. She was scared. She was uncertain about her job as a cop, she wasn't sure if she wanted it anymore of if she would even be able to keep it if she carried on getting arrested for assault, there was only so many marks you could get in a jacket before you shoved on a desk or put in uniform as a traffic cop.

Soft tears slipped down her cheek as her mind wondered. Her heart ached at the thought of having to hire a new nanny, she wondered if there was any point or if she should just place the kids at one police plaza's day care and after school club facility. She knew she had so many decisions that she needed to make but she had no idea how to begin making them.

"Couldn't sleep?" Cragen's voice echoed across the kitchen making her jump.

"No." She replied looking at him briefly before turning her back to him.

He walked towards her and grabbed the near empty wine bottle hurriedly.

"Non alcoholic." She whispered knowing what was going through his mind.

"It wouldn't be if you weren't pregnant though?" He asked even though he could have made it a statement.

"Count your blessings that I am then." Olivia replied dryly.

He reached down and took her glass from her hands. She didn't even look at him or try to resist.

"You know it's a slippery slope from here Olivia." He whispered going to the sink and disposing of the glass and bottle's contents.

"I know. Doesn't mean I care." She replied her voice a hoarse whisper but the fight that Cragen normally heard in his detective wasn't there anymore and that scared him.

"Liv." He sighed taking a seat beside her. "You need to be sleeping how long have you been down here?"

"About an hour maybe two." She replied honestly.

"You need to rest." Cragen replied.

"I can't sleep and I didn't want to lie bed collecting thoughts." Olivia explained.

"Ok why don't you tell me what you've been thinking about?" Cragen suggested.

"Don't turn all Huang on me Dad it isn't going to work." Olivia spat getting to her feet and going towards the counters.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Making coffee, want some?" She asked switching on the kettle.

"Ok Thank you." He replied knowing that if Olivia was making coffee she was going to talk and open up to him.

He waited patiently for her to be done and went over to save her carrying them.

"We should go into the library, it's warmer and it's further from the main bedroom less chance we'll wake anyone." Olivia explained taking her own steaming mug from the counter.

Cragen nodded and followed her, it was rare he would go into the library, it was Olivia's space where she would chill out with Dani after putting Melissa in bed and have some girl talk without being interrupted by himself, Elliot or Anne.

Olivia sat on one couch and made herself as small as she could in the corner. Cragen decided it best to sit beside her so he turned himself into the corner of the same couch so he could look at her.

"So what's keeping you up?" he asked as soon as they were comfortable.

"What isn't keeping me up would be a more appropriate question." Olivia sighed meaning there was so much stopping her sleeping.

"Ok." Cragen nodded allowing Olivia to take lead of the conversation, he knew that would make her more comfortable.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore Dad." She sighed. "I was ... six months ago, I was in a stable relationship but other than that I only had myself to take care of and now ... now I have a family, a big family. For the first time in my life I have parents, I have a kid and one on the way and everything should be perfect but then it feels like everything isn't that everything is somehow out of place or in the wrong order."

"Anyone would be confused Olivia, your whole world changed in the past six months, everything you'd grown accustomed too changed and that must have had some affect on you." Cragen replied reaching over and taking her hand in his own.

"Then why do I wonder if everything changed for the worse rather than the better?" Olivia asked wiping a loose tear from her eye.

"What makes you think that?" Cragen asked.

"Because when there was just me there was just me but now there's Melly, Elliot, you, Mom, Nicole and the Stabler kids I mean I'm always worrying and always scared of hurting you or letting you down and I just ... I want to run and run and not look back." Olivia explained more tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Are you going to run?" Cragen asked.

"No of course not." She replied.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, October 7th 2008**

**8.49 am**

Olivia saw Tucker march into Cragen's office but didn't move from her own seat as she began to open her mail. When she came across a small handwritten envelope she hesitated unsure whether to open it especially as it was addressed to a 'Mrs Olivia Benson".

After looking at the envelope and realising it had come from California she opened it unsure what it would contain.

Dear Mrs Benson,

My name is Caroline Daniels and I am Melissa and Michael's aunt. I'm so very sorry that I couldn't take them when their mother and father passed, I was in a very troubled place. I know they're adopted now. I hope they're both very happy but I haven't been able to stop thinking about them. I was wondering if there was any way I could see them and meet you and your husband. I miss them terribly and my four children, Samantha thirteen, Cassandra eleven, Tommy eight and Montana four, haven't stopped asking about their cousins. I would understand if you chose not to but could I at least ask for pictures of you and your family? I've sent a few of me and my children for you to see. The address is on the back.

All the best.

Caroline Daniels.

Olivia read the letter twice before taking out the pictures from the envelope. She could tell that Melissa was related to the older woman and kids in the photos, they all had the same dark brown eyes.

"Liv?" Elliot asked seeing her frozen.

"What?" She asked not looking away from the family photo she was looking at.

"What is it?" He replied.

"Mel... Melissa's Aunt has written to me." Olivia's voice shook.

Elliot rushed around and took the letter to have a look what she meant. He read the letter and looked at the photos before turning back to Olivia.

"Are you going to reply?" He asked frowning.

"I don't know, should I?" Olivia asked.

"I would, in case she decides to fly out here and come look for you." Elliot replied honestly.

"Ok then I will." Olivia nodded grabbing her notebook and pen.

Elliot just nodded and gave her reassuring smile before going back to his seat.

"Wait, does she even know that Michael died?" Olivia asked unsure whether anyone had informed her.

"Doesn't sound like it from that letter." Elliot replied honestly.

"I can't tell her in a letter that her Nephew is dead." Olivia whispered shakily.

"Then don't." Elliot told her knowing that all decisions had to be made by Olivia.

"I need to go to California." Olivia said firmly.

"You what?" Elliot asked dropping whatever it was he was doing to look at her.

"I need to go and tell her that Michael is dead. I can take maternity now if I want so I'm going to arrange a trip to California." Olivia explained.

"What about me? Melly's school?" Elliot asked.

"El..." She began sighing. "I'm going to go alone... just for a few days to meet her and find out why she wanted to contact me so suddenly. I don't want Melly with me when I meet her for the first time in case ... in case she decides she wants Melly back." Olivia was frightened and Elliot could see it.

"Ok why don't you call her? You have the address so it won't be too hard to find a phone number. Then we can arrange for you to go to Cali." Elliot replied knowing Olivia's mind was made so there was no use trying to change it.

"Will you be ok with Melly if I go?" Olivia asked.

"Of course I will and I have Anne and Don, Olivia, call her and we'll book a hotel and get you on the next flight out of here. Just go tell Cap first." Elliot replied.

"Ok." Olivia nodded and got to her feet gathering the letter and photos before handing Elliot the address.

"Find me the phone number please." She smiled before kissing his head and rushing off to the office.

"Ah Detective Benson you finally decided to join us?" Tucker smirked as Olivia walked into the office.

"Not exactly." Olivia replied. "Why what's all this about?" She asked playing dumb, she knew what it was about.

"Another assault arrest Olivia? Do you know how deep you're in it?"

"I guessed, I mean, there's nothing I can do about it now though." Olivia shrugged.

"You are so lucky that cops look after each other and that she recanted and apologised to you because otherwise I would have the brass up my ass for your shield. I have to tell you though if it happens again Olivia I will have no choice but to launch a full investigation." Tucker explained honestly.

"Fine. Now can I talk to Cragen?" She asked.

"Sure want me to leave?" Tucker asked.

"Do what you want." Olivia replied as she handed the letter and pictures over to her father.

"Wow Liv." Cragen whispered once he'd read the letter.

"I know." Olivia said sitting down.

"What are you going to do?" He asked passing the letter and photos back.

"I'm going on maternity and I'm going to California." She replied honestly.

"What?" He asked.

"Elliot is going to be ok with Melly but this woman doesn't even know that Michael is dead." Olivia replied.

"Yes but background checks and stuff Liv you don't know who this person even is!" Cragen called.

"I know that this woman and her kids are the only living biological relatives my daughter has and I want to meet them and I'm not about to tell her in a letter than her nephew died." Olivia explained.

"Liv what about you being nearly eight months pregnant?" Cragen asked.

"Dad! I'm a grown up! I can make this decision on my own and I don't need your permission!" Olivia snapped.

Ed Tucker who was standing behind Olivia was surprised to hear her call Cragen dad. He'd heard her call him Pops but he just thought it was a cute nickname for her superior officer, this however seemed to be a lot more.

"I'm just asking you to think this through Olivia." He snapped back getting to his feet and leaning towards her across the desk in the exact why she was doing to him.

"I have done and my mind is made I am going to California to meet this woman, I'll be gone four days at the most and should I decide I'll take Melly and Elliot out there afterwards to meet them.

"Fine. Do what you want Olivia but call your Mother and tell her because I'm not going to be the one to break this news to her." Cragen sighed taking his seat.

"I will, once I have spoken to Caroline Daniels but will you put the papers in motion for my maternity please?" She asked before marching out the office.

Ed Tucker waited until the door was closed before taking a seat in front of the desk.

"What is it Eddie?" Don asked seeing there was something going on in the Lieutenant's mind.

"She called you Dad? Then she said she was a big girl and then you told her to call her Mother so do you want to tell me what on earth all that was about?" Tucker asked.

"My wife and I have put in adoption papers for Olivia." Cragen replied honestly.

"Oh, when?" Tucker replied knowing Cragen should have informed IAB as soon as they thought about this.

"The papers arrived in September, we gave them to Olivia on her birthday and she signed them there and then and we filed them on the Monday, we're now just waiting for the certificates to arrive." Cragen explained. "I was going to tell IAB as soon as the papers arrived, I was to worried about Olivia changing her mind to say anything before hand."

"I see, how close are you and Olivia then, I mean, I know you've always been a father figure to her Don but did you adopt her just because your wife wanted to or what?" Tucker asked.

"No, I didn't just do it because Anne wanted too!" Cragen snapped. "It's true that Anne was the first to mention it but I had been thinking about it before that and the reasons we did at are complex to say the least, Olivia is the only child Anne and I will ever have together and luckily she's someone who we love like a daughter anyway." Cragen explained.

"But Olivia isn't a child, she's a grown woman with children of her own." Tucker replied.

"Which is even better for Anne and I. She was already Melly's grandmother because of Cole but now we both are because we adopted Olivia and it's the same with Nicole, she's definitely my granddaughter because Olivia's my daughter and I know she isn't a child but she's always been my little girl, I still see her as the rookie who walked into my office Ed, I haven't been able to see her as a grown woman at all."

"I see. Well I best head off Don so much to do today, I just hope your daughter learns to keep her fists to herself before I have to take her gun and shield." Ed gave a slight laugh as he left. "Oh and Congratulations on your daughter." He added before leaving.

****

**Benson Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, October 7th 2008**

**5.02 pm**

Everyone was gathered in the living room. Olivia was all packed and ready to leave for California and was about to say goodbye to everyone.

"You take care of yourself out there ok?" Anne smiled as she hugged Olivia.

"I will and I'll call everyday Mom so you know I'll be fine." She smiled gently.

Don Cragen was next.

"Don't do anything stupid while you're out there, and don't slug the woman, I don't have much pull with the LAPD." He chuckled softly.

"I won't I swear." She laughed.

Next was Melissa.

"Mommy do you have to go?" She asked.

"Yeah Melly but I won't be gone long ok? I'll be home Saturday morning and I'll call you before bed every night I swear." Olivia replied as she clutched her little girl tight.

"Ok have fun." Melly replied.

"I'll try." Olivia winked before following Elliot towards the door.

The family gathered at the door as Olivia and Elliot got into the SUV.

"Ready?" He asked giving her knee a squeeze.

"Yeah." She replied before waving and smiling at her family until they were completely out of sight.

****

**JFK Airport, New York**

**Tuesday, October 7th 2008**

**6.36 pm**

Now she was checked in and her flight had been called to boarding she only had to say goodbye to Elliot which was proving to be the hardest thing.

"If you don't like it there come straight home." He whispered as he held her.

"I will." She replied clutching on to him.

"And take care of yourself and Nicole." He added.

"Don't doubt that I won't." She laughed gently.

"I know baby. I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too now don't forget Melly has to wear black shoes to school, she always tries to put on her red ones and she had band after school tomorrow then homework club after school on Thursday..."

"Then she has swimming on Friday morning and then Ballet after school I know baby she'll be fine for four days without you." He smiled.

"I know. I love you." She whispered a tear in her eye.

"Don't cry, I love you too." He replied just before she pressed her lips into his.

He wrapped his hand into her hair as the kiss deepened, a kiss that had to last four days without anymore face to face contact.

"Go." He whispered as their kiss broke apart.

With one last look of longing at him she whispered.

"Bye."

****

**So Olivia's gone to California? What will she find out when she's out there and how will Caroline react to her? Wwww. **


	45. Chapter 45

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Ritz Carlton, Los Angeles, California**

**Wednesday, October 8th 2008**

**8.52 am**

When Olivia woke up the next morning it took a moment or two for her to remember where she was and why she was there. As she rolled onto her back to push herself up to sitting she couldn't help but miss Elliot's morning kiss that she got every morning after waking. Trying to push how much she was already missing her family into the back of her mind she tried to focus on the day ahead. She would be meeting with Caroline Daniels at her house at noon and then hopefully she'd be meeting her children that same day. She'd packed lots of photos including the album Olivia had started of Melly since Cole had died, wanting to have as many photographs of her daughter so if something should happen like it did to her fiancé and son she had something more than just memories.

****

**Daniels Residence, Los Angeles, California**

**Wednesday, October 8th 2008**

**11.59 am**

Olivia got out of the rental she had and walked towards the house. She swallowed hard not understanding why she was so nervous. It seemed like Caroline Daniels had been watching in the window because the door was open before Olivia had even made it to the door.

"Olivia?" She asked.

"Yeah Caroline?" Olivia replied looking at the eyes that were a double of her daughters that were giving her an answer.

"Yeah it's so good to meet you." Caroline smiled wrapping her arms around Olivia's neck.

Olivia went stiff in shock before she managed to return the uncomfortable embrace. It wasn't what she had expected from the woman she had one, never met and two, adopted her niece.

"Please come in." Caroline replied once she'd let go of Olivia.

"Thank you." Olivia replied hoping the house was cooler than the street she wasn't used to the heat in October.

Once inside they went through to the kitchen.

"Would you like some orange juice or lemonade?" Caroline asked.

"Yes juice would be lovely thank you." Olivia replied.

"I'll just make them and then we can grow through to the living room." Caroline smiled.

Olivia just nodded and waited patiently to go through to the living room before talking about her daughter and her family.

The living room they walked into was full of family photos and kids toys. Olivia couldn't help but wonder if her children would have been better off had they come here instead of be adopted by her and Cole.

"So how was your flight?" Caroline asked once they were both seated.

"Comfortable, My mother insisted I fly first class for comfort for the baby so it was far more comfortable had it been if I had been in charge of booking it." Olivia replied thinking of the generosity of her mother, paying her flight and hotel even though she had inherited Cole's trust fund when he died and didn't need money.

"Oh that's good, I didn't know you were expecting, you didn't say on the phone." Caroline replied. "So how far along are you?"

"I'm twenty nine weeks now." Olivia replied her hand subconsciously rubbing her growing bump through her thin dress.

"Do you know what you're having?" Caroline continued with the small talk as it was a visible comfortable conversation for Olivia.

"A little girl, Nicole." Olivia replied.

"So sweet I bet Melissa and Michael are ecstatic. Do you have any other children?" Caroline continued.

Olivia's breath hitched at the sound of Michael's name but she smiled and continued the conversation anyway.

"No, I don't Nicole will be my first but my fiancé has four children from a previous marriage." Olivia replied.

"Oh so they have siblings that's sweet, his names Cole am I right?"

Once again Olivia's breath hitched, she knew she had to just come right out and tell her so she thought best get it over with.

"Caroline, I've not flown out here just to meet you I have some things I needed to tell you." Olivia explained shakily.

"Ok what is it Olivia?" Caroline asked realising this was something serious.

"It's about Michael, he uh ... he died." Olivia explained her eyes filling with tears at the memory.

"Oh Olivia I'm so sorry." Caroline whispered her hand reaching out for Olivia's.

"I'm sorry, I always get upset when I talk about his passing." Olivia explained wiping at her tears.

"How did he?" Caroline asked.

"He had a heart condition that no one knew about and when he was beaten up in school by an older kid it made his heart worse, the operated on him but he died a week later." Olivia explained.

"I'm so sorry I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you." Caroline replied, she felt upset but she could tell it was hurting the woman in front of her.

"It was, but I had Cole to get me through all that." Olivia replied thinking of the second death.

"had Cole?" Caroline asked not failing to see Olivia had used the past tense in talking about her fiancé.

"Yes, Cole ... He died a week after we buried Michael, he was shot." Olivia explained.

"Oh Olivia I'm so sorry I can't ... I can't even begin to imagine how hard it's been for you and Melissa!" Caroline gasped, she could see the trauma and pain in Olivia's eyes.

"I'm fine, Melly found it a little tough at first but we've both adjusted to life without them as quick as we adjusted to life with each other." Olivia replied.

"But you said there were four children from a previous marriage of your fiancé?" Caroline said thinking back.

"Yes I'm engaged to a wonderful man called Elliot, we've been work partners for year, both of us being cops and when Cole died he was just there for me and he'd split with his wife a few months before and somehow we just slipped into each other." Olivia replied.

"Oh I understand." Caroline replied.

"I have bought some pictures with me, there are some of Michael and Cole in the beginning of this album, I will warn you that there are some of us at the hospital over the week before he died and then the further into the album you get there's some of just me and Melly and then you'll see the family growing." Olivia explained handing over the large album.

Olivia sat in silence as she watched the woman flip through the photos, she had barely looked at the ones of Cole and Mikey finding it far too painful but when they thinned away and turned to Olivia and Melly she started explaining the photos.

"That was Melly's birthday, she had such a great day." Olivia smiled pointing to a picture of herself and Melissa smiling silly at the camera. "Elliot took that photo."

"You both look so happy." Caroline replied.

"We are, I mean, she's my whole world and then ... oh there look they're my parents, well adoptive parents that's Anne Jeffries she's Cole's mother and then that is Captain Donald Cragen he's my boss at work or one of my superiors anyway and they got together just after Cole passed and got married, they were both like my parents anyway but after they married they asked if I would like to be adopted by them and I couldn't say know. Melly adores her grandparents and they live with us full time now too which is great, Melly's Nanny died last week and I wouldn't have been able to manage if it hadn't been for my Mom." Olivia explained.

"Melly's Nanny died?" Caroline asked in shock.

"Yes she was murdered; we buried her on Monday but Melly's coping well I have a good family looking after her while I'm here so they'll call if there are any problems." Olivia explained.

"I'm sure you have, you visibly look happy." Caroline replied looking back at the photo album.

"We are." Olivia smiled gently, that was the truth, they were happy.

Once she'd closed the album she handed it back to Olivia.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"No problem, I actually have a few copies made for you." Olivia smiled back pulling out a sleeve from her purse.

"Oh this is wonderful! Thank you so much, I can't wait to show them to the kids." Caroline smiled.

"I'm sure they'll be happy to know that Melissa's doing well, I was actually wondering if I could wait till tomorrow to meet them, I think they may be upset when they find out about Michael and I don't want to be here when they find out." Olivia explained, the truth was she was scared they'd be angry and blame her.

"Of course Olivia, not a problem." Caroline smiled.

The women spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know more about each other and each other's families, Olivia was happy to find out more about Melly's grandparents from her father's side and learn a little about Melly's parents too.

****

**Ritz Carlton, Los Angeles, California**

**Wednesday, October 8th 2008**

**6.35 pm**

After having dinner down in the hotel's restaurant, Olivia went back to her room to call her family.

"Hello." She smiled when a voice answered the phone.

"Olivia! Oh it's so good to hear your voice how are you?" Anne asked.

"I'm good Mom, just finished having dinner and thought now would be a good time to call." Olivia explained.

"Of course we had dinner at five thirty as usual." Anne replied the smile on her face audible to Olivia.

"Is Dad and Elliot home?" Olivia asked.

"They are, they're playing scrabble with Melissa in the living room." Anne replied.

"Ok well take me through and put me on speaker so I don't have to tell everyone everything twice." Olivia replied, she'd already spent the evening before explaining to Melissa where she was going and why and had explained that she would be meeting a relative of Melissa's. She seemed content so she had been happy to go.

"Mommy?" Melly's voice reached her ears bringing tears to the surface.

"Hi Mel!" She replied trying to hide how much she missed her daughter.

"Did you see Aunt Caroline?" Melly asked.

"I did and she is looking forward to seeing you again." Olivia replied.

"Why can't I remember her?" Melly asked.

"Because babies don't remember things like that for some reason baby I can't explain." Olivia replied.

"Ok Uncle Elliot wants to speak with you and so does Granddad." Melly replied.

"Ok Melly. Hey El, Hey Dad." Olivia knew she was on speaker so it was killing two birds with one stone for her to speak with both at the same time.

"How's California Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Hot." Olivia laughed. "Too hot."

"I bet, did you have a good day?" He continued.

"Better than I had expected it to be El, she was lovely, wasn't visibly affected by the news about Michael so I don't know, I didn't meet the kids, I didn't want to be there when she told them about him." Olivia explained.

"Understandable." Cragen's voice floated into her ears.

"Hey Dad how's everything at the one six?" Olivia asked, the true meaning was 'how is everything with Ed Tucker.'

"Oh you know same old, Liv you've only been gone a day." Cragen laughed.

"I know but being so far away ... I miss everyone so much!" She explained as fresh tears pulled her dark brown eyes.

"I bet honey, just chin up and you'll be home with us soon." Cragen replied knowing she was getting upset.

"I know. I'm going to go now, I want to talk a walk along the strip before it goes too cold." Olivia explained.

"Ok we love you!" Four voices filled her ears.

"I love you all. Bye."

She hung up and took a moment to compose herself, she hadn't expected it to be that tough and wondered if it was a good idea to stay till Saturday. Her ticket allowed her to be flexible and she decided that she wanted to go home the following evening and be with her family because she hated being away from them in such a strange place.

****

**I'm really just trying to fill some gaps and then I will fast forward to Christmas :D **


	46. Chapter 46

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Daniels Residence, Los Angeles, California**

**Thursday, October 9th 2008**

**4.02 pm**

Olivia nervously walked to the front door unsure of what to expect, she'd spent most of the day going over multiple scenarios of how the afternoon could play out in her head. Once again she didn't get the chance to knock on the door as it sprung open revealing a teenage girl with bright blond hair and deep brown eyes.

"Hi you must be Samantha I'm..."

"Olivia, Melissa's adoptive Mom. It's nice to finally meet you." Samantha smiled extending one hand to Olivia while the other flicked perfectly straight waist length hair over her shoulder.

Olivia smiled and shook Samantha's hand just as Caroline came to the door grinning happily.

"Olivia come in." She smiled. "I'm so glad you could make it."

Olivia was led into the living room to meet the other three Daniels children.

"This is Cassandra, she's eleven." Caroline smiled. "Cassie say hi."

"Hi." Cassandra mumbled nervously.

"Hi." Olivia replied with a gentle smile.

"Then this is Tommy, he's eight." Caroline said pointing to the only boy in the room.

"Hi Tommy." Olivia smiled.

"Hi Olivia." Tommy replied nervously.

"The this is Montana and she's four."

"Hey Montana." Olivia beamed kneeling down in front of the young child who was almost a double of her five year old.

"Hi Olivia." Montana replied confidently.

"I'm going to continue with dinner, why don't you make yourself comfortable Olivia and don't badger her kids." Caroline smiled before leaving the woman to get to know her kids.

Olivia stood up unsure what to do with herself. She was relieved when Tommy called to her.

"Olivia come and sit by me." He smiled tapping the space beside him on the black leather couch.

Olivia smiled at him and walked over hoping the kids wouldn't have any awkward questions for her regarding Michael and Cole.

"So how's Melissa?" Samantha, the eldest, asked from the arm chair opposite Olivia.

"She's well." Olivia replied unsure how to even answer her question.

"Mom said you had a big family." Samantha added.

"They're more friends but they're like family." Olivia explained.

"Did you bring the pictures you showed Mom?" Cassandra asked taking the space on Olivia's left.

"I did." Olivia smiled pulling the photo album from her purse.

Samantha and Montana came over to join the three on the couch. Olivia pulled Montana onto her lap while Samantha sat in Tommy's space before pulling the eight year old onto her own lap.

"Ok so this is me Melissa, Michael and Cole just after we became a family." Olivia explained pointing at the first photo in the album.

She then skipped ahead to the photos after Cole's death avoiding the ones of Michael at the hospital.

"This was my Mom and Dad's wedding." Olivia smiled pointing at a picture of herself and Melissa that had been taken just before leaving the house. "Then that's my Mom and Dad, Melly's Granny and Granddad." Olivia explained pointing at the second picture on the page.

"Who's that?" Samantha asked when Olivia turned the page over.

"That's Elliot, he and I are getting married after the baby's born." She explained.

"Then they're Elliot's children. Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie and Dickie." She smiled pointing to each Stabler in turn.

"Who are they?" Tommy asked laughing as Olivia turned the page.

"That's Munch and Fin, they work with me and are like my brothers." Olivia explained also laughing at the picture.

"Munch, that's funny." Montana laughed.

"I know." Olivia smiled looking the little girl in the eye like she did with her own daughter.

"Then these are Melinda, Casey and Alex and they're my best friends, who are like my sisters." Olivia explained pointing to the next photo.

"You all look so beautiful." Samantha commented seeing the women all dressed up and Olivia remembered how beautiful she felt that day considering she was starting to become big with baby.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled just as Caroline came in with juice for everyone.

Olivia put away the photo album and waited for more awkward questions but then when none came she decided she could find out more about the kids now.

"So what do you like doing in school?" Olivia asked all the kids.

"Drawing." Montana replied. "And playing with sand."

"I like drawing too." Olivia replied trying to connect with the little girl.

"Can I make you a picture Olivia?" Montana asked her eyelids batting like she was asking for something she wouldn't be allowed.

"I'd really like it if you made me a picture." Olivia beamed at the little girl excitedly.

She could only watch as Montana rushed off and then she turned to the other three children around her.

"So what about you Tommy? What do you like doing in school?" Olivia asked.

"I like reading." He replied.

"I like reading too, what books do you like?" She asked.

"Harry Potter but I can't read them on my own they're too big." He explained to her.

"I've been reading Harry Potter to Melissa, it's her favourite too." Olivia smiled. "They're very big books towards the end right?"

"Yeah I can't wait for the last ones to come out." He beamed.

"Nor me, they're going to be so good!" Olivia beamed at him knowing that she was slowly bonding with him.

"Maybe you can read some of it to me someday?" Tommy suggested.

"Maybe little man." Olivia smiled at him thinking it was great that the younger two children had definitely warmed to her.

"What about you Cassandra what do you like doing?" Olivia asked turning to the dark skinned girl beside her.

"Writing poetry." Cassandra shrugged.

"Wow you lot are a talented bunch." Olivia smiled. "What type of poetry do you write?"

"I don't know, short rhyming ones." She replied looking uninterested in this topic of conversation.

"Ok and what about you Samantha what do you like doing?"

"American History, I want to be a lawyer see." Samantha replied happily.

"Ahh well you saw the pictures of my friends Alex and Casey, well they're lawyer's in the District Attorney's office, do you know what type of law do you want to go into?" Olivia asked knowing that this was a subject she could have a lengthy conversation about.

"I don't know, I don't think I could be a defence attorney because they stop murderers and rapists from going to jail even though sometimes it's the best place for them. I don't think I could do white collar defence because that would be boring so I think DA's office would definitely be my type of thing." Samantha smiled.

"You should start doing your research and stuff now and be prepared, just don't let your school work suffer because of it." Olivia smiled back.

"Yeah sounds like a good idea. I mean I've done a lot of research I understand the amendments and constitutional rights, I understand the Miranda warning, wait aren't you a cop?" Samantha asked letting go of the wriggling Tommy from her lap.

"I am, so are Munch, Fin, Elliot and my Dad and Melly's dad before he ... before he died." Olivia explained wishing she hadn't mentioned Cole.

"So you know a lot about the law and stuff don't you?" Samantha continued.

"I know a bit." Olivia replied. "Mostly New York law though, some things differ from State to State." She explained further.

"Ok so what's the Miranda warning in New York or does that not change?"

"Ahh well the Miranda warning differs slightly but it still says the same thing near enough." Olivia replied.

"So what do you say when you arrest a perpetrator?" Samantha asked enjoying being able to have this sort of conversation with a real cop without any boundaries.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights?" Olivia laughed a little as she spoke.

"Oh yeah I get it, it's the same here near enough because the Miranda warning basically is the Fifth Amendment isn't it? Like the right not to self incriminate and the right to council?"

"Absolutely, you know your stuff." Olivia smiled realising that this fourteen year old in front of her was very wise in the field she wanted to go into.

"So what happens when you arrest someone?" Samantha asked really getting into the conversation.

"Well it depends, if the person waves their right to council which means they say they're happy to be questioned without an attorney present then we question them but if the person evokes their right to council we're not allowed to speak with them until their attorney arrives and nine times out of ten the attorney will just tell them to evoke their right to silence." Olivia explained.

"Then how does it go from being arrested to going to court?"

"Well the defendant or perp, is taken to arraignment within twenty four hours of their arrest where they find out if they can be bailed or not before going to trial, there is three options available, remand which means the person will go to prison until they go to trial, bail which is where the judge will set an amount for the person to pay for their freedom until after the trial and this can either be paid by cash or bond and then last you have ROR released on your own recognisance which means you get to go free until court without having to pay, they do get a little more confusing than that of course but that's the basics of it." Olivia explained.

"So what happens next?" Samantha asked she couldn't resist as she was drinking in all the knowledge Olivia was sharing with her.

"Well the lawyers then have a bunch of meetings such as discovery hearing, motion hearing and stuff." Olivia replied wondering if she was getting it all right because Casey or Alex would know this stuff better than she would.

"So what's that Discovery and Motions?" Samantha frowned not understanding.

"Discovery is where the People which is the DA's have to hand over all the information they or the police have gathered as evidence of the crime. Motion hearing is when the lawyers, normally the defence, try and suppress evidence or call for witness testimony's to be scratched and so on. It's really complicated and I don't know much about it so it's best if I put you in touch with Alex or Casey, I'm sure they could answer all your questions." Olivia smiled gently, it wasn't that she didn't want to answer the questions it was just that she didn't want to get them wrong and then confuse the young girl.

"Ok so what happens after that?" Samantha asked not wanting the conversation to end yet.

"Well it's really complicated because some cases will be taken in front of a grand jury and they will decide if there is enough evidence and testimony to indite but then some cases don't go in front of a grand jury and they would have a preliminary hearing or examination. The judicial system is complicated Samantha, I won't lie to you but I'm a cop, I didn't study law as much as lawyers did." She smiled gently.

"What's a grand jury for?"

"Well if it's a felony charge then sometimes the DA's office will take the case to a grand jury and see if they agree that there's enough evidence to take the case to a trial by jury." Olivia explained just as Caroline came in.

"Dinner's ready you guys." Caroline smiled.

"Come on Olivia." Samantha beamed, she'd really warmed to the detective.

Olivia followed Samantha through to the tiny dining room and was dragged by Tommy to sit beside him.

"Look Olivia!" Montana smiled carrying a piece of A4 paper over to her.

"Wow Montana this is really good. Did you draw this by yourself?" Olivia asked getting ready to tease the four year old.

"Uh-Huh." She nodded.

"Wow I don't believe you because this is amazing!" Olivia replied making the youngster laugh.

"I did Livia I really really did!" She laughed.

"I believe you now, but wow this is really amazing Montana." Olivia smiled and she rolled it up and placed it to stick out from her purse so it wouldn't get lost.

"It's you in the picture, you and Melissa and me." Montana explained.

"I could tell!" Olivia replied making the youngster even more excited and proud of herself. "I'm sure Melly will love it too."

****

**Daniels Residence, Los Angeles, California**

**Thursday, October 9th 2008**

**6.30 pm**

After what had been a fun evening Olivia found herself gathered with the children in the living room ready to say goodbye.

"Will we see you soon?" Montana asked as Olivia knelt down to embrace her.

"I hope so Montana, and next time I see you you'll get to see Melissa too." Olivia replied beaming at her.

"Yeah! Thank you Olivia." Montana replied squeezing the detective's neck as she embraced her.

"And you promise we can read some Harry Potter next time?" Tommy asked stepping in front of Olivia as Montana moved to the side.

"I promise, Melly would love that." Olivia explained before hugging the eight year old.

"Olivia..." Cassandra said nervously as she stepped in front of the detective.

"What is it Cass'?" Olivia asked seeing the girl fumbling with a piece of paper.

"I made this for you." She explained handing a glitter and sequin covered page with writing on it.

_**O**__h so lovely, _

_**L**__ovely and Smart_

_**I**__ntellectual and Pretty_

_**V**__ery much like art_

_**I**__ can't believe how lucky we are_

_**A**__re to have met Olivia_

"Wow Cassandra thank you, I love it and you're a very talented writer." Olivia smiled seeing how the young girl had made a poem out of her name.

"Really?" She asked beaming up at Olivia.

"Really, this and Montana's picture are going on my desk in work so I can look at them every day." Olivia smiled as the young girl embraced her.

Once she stepped out of the way Samantha stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck tightly.

"Thank you for coming to see us." She whispered Olivia knew she had tears in her eyes.

"I'm so glad I did, you're all so lovely." Olive replied as Samantha stepped back.

"I really liked talking to you, I learned so much and I'm definitely going to look up more about it." Samantha smiled.

"I'll talk to Alex and Casey, see if they'd be happy for me to give you one of their address' and then maybe you can write with them and ask them any questions you'd have." Olivia replied.

"Thank you." Samantha beamed. "I'd really like that."

Samantha stepped out of the way for Caroline to step forward.

"Thank you, for taking time and letting us into your life Olivia, I can't imagine it being an easy decision for you to have made but I am so grateful that you're not only letting us back into Melissa's life but yours and your families too." Caroline whispered as she embraced Olivia.

"No thank you for getting in touch with me, I'm so happy to meet you and have some extended family for Melissa who are not just my friends, it's good for her to have someone biological and if she has some questions when she's older there's someone who can answer them for her too." Olivia replied.

"Yeah. Well it was lovely to meet you and I can't wait to see you again and see Melissa too." Caroline said as she and the kids walked Olivia to the door.

"Same." Olivia replied. "Bye everyone."

They all waved at Olivia as she made her way down the garden path to the rental she need to take back before going to the airport, but she had only one place on her mind, and that was home.

****

**Ok so not much left to go before I fast forward a bit! **


	47. Chapter 47

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, October 10th 2008**

**3.12 am**

Olivia wasted no time in getting home, as soon as she got into the house and sorted out the alarm she rushed upstairs as quietly as she could and snuck into her bedroom. When the door was closed she saw Elliot lying fast asleep. She watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest and smiled, she'd missed him so much while she'd been away. Slowly, she pulled off her coat and shoes before climbing onto her side of the bed and wrapping her arms around him.

"Liv?" He croaked.

"Yeah baby it's me." She whispered rubbing her cheek into his.

He rolled over to face her, his eyes opening and trying to adjust to the darkness.

"Liv?" He asked again.

"Yeah." She replied tears in her eyes.

"I'm not dreaming?" He asked rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"Nope baby I'm home." She whispered.

He pulled her into him as tight as he could his lips latching onto hers.

"Oh my God I missed you." He whispered.

"I missed you too." Olivia replied before falling back into his kiss.

They just held each other and passed each other kisses, making out needing to feel each other.

"I love you." Olivia moaned feeling his swollen lips against her own.

"I love you too, God don't leave me again." He replied.

"Never." She replied tears stinging in her eyes as their kiss became more ferocious.

She rolled him onto his back and climbed over to straddle him.

"Missed me that much huh?" He asked as her hands drew down his bare chest.

"God yes." She smiled before crashing her lips to his once again.

Elliot tore at her top and bra making her as bare as he was. His hands massaged the sides of her breasts before wondering over to the soft mounds. She moaned into his mouth as their tongues fought for dominance. Olivia's hands wondered down to his hips and grabbed at his boxers.

"Someone's eager." He laughed huskily as she lifted up further onto his knees to tear off his boxers freeing his painful erection.

"God and don't you know it." She whimpered as he fumbled with her trousers.

She climbed off him and pulled them off quickly before climbing back on not wanting to waste any time.

"Ready?" She asked teasingly.

"Absolutely." He grinned as she clasped her hand around his hard shaft and guided it to her wet slit.

She slipped it straight inside before latching her lips onto his. She grinded against him as her nails dug into his chest making him groan in pleasure.

"Fuck I missed you." He moaned.

"How much?" She ask as her hips grinded deep against him.

"This much." He replied sitting up and carefully tipped her onto her back.

"Really?" She giggled as he started to pump in and out of her. "Oh my God El!"

"Shh Liv." Elliot laughed before clasping his lips to hers.

"Harder El. Fuck me... harder...Oh my God!" She moaned quietly into his mouth.

"Oh fuck Liv!" Elliot moaned pummelling harder into her just as she'd asked.

"Oh El!" She groaned loudly making him crash his lips into hers once again to silence her.

He knew how close she was by the way her body was jerking underneath him. He latched his teeth onto her bottom lip and moaned causing a vibration that sent Olivia over the edge.

"Fuck me El!" Olivia gasped her nails digging into Elliot's shoulder sending him into his own climax.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, October 10th 2008**

**7.34 am**

Olivia woke up finding herself alone in bed. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table and realised she would be the last one up and she needed to get up quickly if she was going to get ready and take Melissa to school. Slowly she climbed out of bed and pulled on her pyjamas and robe before making her way downstairs.

"Mommy!" Melly gasped jumping from her chair and rushing into Olivia's waiting arms.

"Hey Melly!" Olivia smiled pulling her daughter into a tight embrace.

"I missed you Mommy." Melly whispered rubbing her cheek into her mothers.

"I missed you too Mel." Olivia replied kissing Melissa's cheek. "Now go eat your breakfast." She smiled gently smacking Melissa's back making her giggle and run off.

"Mom." Olivia smiled taking in her mother's embrace.

"Hey Olivia, it's so good to see you and not just hear you." Anne beamed making both Olivia and Elliot turn scarlet as Cragen stifled a laugh.

"Guessing you heard too huh?" Olivia said turning to look at Cragen with her eyebrow raised trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Uh yeah." Cragen replied his eyes averting to Olivia and then back to his coffee mug.

"Oh." Olivia replied biting her bottom lip and glancing at Elliot.

"Have something to drink and some breakfast Olivia, you didn't get back till late." Anne smiled passing her a mug of decaff coffee.

"Thanks, I haven't had coffee since I left!" Olivia laughed. "If I drink orange juice again it will be too soon, I won't be surprised if Nicole has turned orange!"

Everyone around the table laughed. Olivia had been so excited to get back but she didn't realise how much the people around the table was excited to have her back. She couldn't help but be happy.

"Oh Olivia something came in the post for you yesterday." Anne said gaining the detectives attention.

"That would be normal Mom, the bills are all in my name!" Olivia laughed but her laugh faded when an A4 brown card envelope was handed to her.

"Oh my God." Olivia smiled knowing exactly what it was.

"We opened our ones yesterday." Anne smiled knowing she'd worked out what it was.

Olivia slowly peeled back the seal and pulled out the certificate. Elliot smiled as he saw the bright red letters on the top.

"Ms/Detective Olivia Benson Cragen." Olivia read laughing at the sound of her legal name.

"Adoptive Mother Mrs Anne Jeffries Cragen and Adoptive Father Captain Donald Cragen." Anne smiled having read the certificate over and over.

"This is unreal." Olivia whispered reading it again.

"I know. You happy?" Cragen asked.

"Absolutely." Olivia nodded a smile growing on her face her eyes still transfixed on the certificate.

"I'll go get Melly ready for school." Anne smiled knowing Olivia needed time to process what she'd just received.

"I... I... I..." Olivia stuttered.

"You don't have to say anything Olivia, but I was thinking, would you like me to update your jacket and personal information at the office?" Cragen asked.

"I guess ... I hadn't really thought what happened when this arrived." Olivia explained her eyes moving from the paper and connecting with Cragen's.

"I don't have to if you don't want to." Cragen told her not wanting to make her panic.

"I do want to, I'm sorry, I'm just in shock." Olivia explained taking his hand in her own.

"Don't rush into a decision Liv." Cragen told her giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

She looked at him, her lips tightened in an awkward smile as she realised how much she loved the man in front of her and why she loved him. He was her father maybe not biologically but he was what the word father epitomised as he was there for her. He held her hand when she needed him, he offered her advice when she needed it, and most of all he loved her the way a father loved his daughter.

"It's a bit late to change my mind now Dad, not that I'd want to anyway. I want you to change my file." She told him firmly.

"Ok I'll sort that out today." He smiled giving her hand another squeeze.

He couldn't have denied his happiness to anyone. The truth was he was ecstatic as once he put it in his file and Olivia's file it made it final, it made it more real to him as every time he would update Olivia's file or have to put something in her or his own jacket he would be reminded of the legality of their relationship but not only that, but the honesty of their relationship.

"I love you Liv." He smiled before letting go of her hand.

"I love you too Dad." She smiled widely at him knowing that she meant every word.

"Mommy!" Melly's voice echoed from upstairs.

Olivia laughed and headed off for the stairs knowing that this was going to be an argument between her mother and her daughter that needed to be settled.

"You really think she's happy?" Cragen asked as soon as Olivia's footsteps vanished from the stairs.

"I know she's happy." Elliot smiled. "She's straight Don, she'd tell you if she wasn't happy with this anymore, she would have told you if she didn't want her records changed, she wants people to know, she'd shout it from the rooftops if she could."

"Thanks." He smiled. "Now come on or we're going to be late."

The two men headed for the stairs both with one destination in mind which would be particularly empty without their favourite female detective.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, October 10th 2008**

**8.20 am**

"Melly put your shoes on without arguing please!" Olivia yelled for the third time.

"Liv we're leaving!" Elliot called from the door way.

She rushed over and planted a kiss on his cheek before dropping one on Cragen's cheek.

"Have a good day without me." She winked.

"We'll try, call me if you need me." Elliot replied before he and the Captain made their way to the police Sedan waiting for them.

"Melissa Jasmine Benson get down here!" Olivia yelled noticing her daughter still wasn't down the stairs.

"I can't find my shoes!" Melly yelled back.

"They're here that's why!" Olivia called back.

"Coming!" Melly replied and Olivia heard her heavy footsteps rush across the first floor landing.

"Don't run on the stairs!" Olivia yelled, she was always frightened that Melissa would one day fall down them.

"Sorry." Melissa replied lazily as she took the stairs slowly and one at a time.

Olivia couldn't help but smile. She was watching her daughter grow as a person every day, learning new things about her personality and seeing her develop as a character.

"Help me Mommy?" She asked sitting on the third from bottom step.

"Yeah." Olivia replied struggling to kneel in front of her daughter. "You're going to have to start doing this yourself Melly, Mommy's getting too fat!" Olivia laughed, getting up and down was getting to be a real difficulty.

"Ok Mommy." Melly replied as Olivia buckled her shoes together.

"You need new ones too Mel, you've been jumping rope in school?" Olivia laughed pointing at the scuff on the tip of the second shoe.

"Yeah I like jumping rope." Melly replied shrugging.

"Well maybe you can ask Santa Clause for a rope of your own?" Olivia suggested knowing she needed to start gearing up for Christmas.

"Maybe." Melly smiled knowing she would definitely be asking Santa for a jump rope.

"Right put on your coat and we'll go." Olivia smiled passing Melly her thick light blue cashmere coat that she'd bought for the cold winter weather.

"Can you do something with my hair?" Melly asked passing Olivia two scrunchies.

Olivia smiled hand plaited two pigtails into Melly's hair tying the flowery blue scrunchies at the end. She then grabbed the light blue beret that matched the coat and placed it on Melly's head before grabbing the darker blue scarf and wrapping it around the back of Melly's neck to hang in front of her coat.

"Mom! Grab the camera!" Olivia yelled.

"Mommy!" Melly groaned, Olivia had a habit of grabbing the camera when she thought Melly looked adorable.

"Just smile Melly." Olivia teased taking the camera from her mother and taking the photo.

"Right come on let's go." Olivia smiled.

"I'll see you in a bit." Anne smiled as she watched Olivia and Melly walk out of the door hand in hand.

Olivia and Melly turned back to wave when they reached the corner and then continued their walk to the school.

"Mommy?" Melly began as she skipped along the sidewalk her hand still in Olivia's.

"What is it Mel?" Olivia asked enjoying every moment with her daughter.

"When will Nicole be here?" Melly asked.

"After Christmas some time, she'll come when she's ready." Olivia struggled to explain.

"Ok. Will she be able to play with me?" Melly asked.

"Not for a little while Mel, she'll be too little." Olivia replied.

"But when she's bigger?" Melly continued, slowing to a walk and looking up at her mother.

"Yeah Mel, when she's bigger I'm sure she's going to be your best friend." Olivia replied smiling hoping her daughters would have a close bond.

"Yeah!" Melly smiled. "Morning Ms Janie." She smiled at the lollypop lady.

"Morning Melissa how are you this morning?" Ms Janie asked as she checked the road.

"I'm well thank you and you?" Melissa asked so polite Olivia wasn't sure if it was her daughter speaking.

"I'm very well this morning thank you Melissa. Are you holding your Mommy's hand tight?" She asked winking at Olivia.

"I am and I won't let go until Mommy says I can." Melissa replied smiling.

"Good, we'll cross now, you wait there till I've stopped the traffic." Ms Janie smiled before walking out into the road.

Melissa held her mother's hand and waited for Ms Janie to signal it was safe to cross.

"Thank you Ms Janie." Melissa chorused.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled.

"You're welcome have a good day." Ms Janie smiled back as she watched the two walk off.

They held hands all the way to the school playground.

"Now have a good day Melly, Mommy will pick you up from Gymnastics at four thirty." Olivia smiled handing her daughter her school satchel.

"I will Mommy." She smiled leaning up to her tip toes for a kiss.

Olivia smiled and dropped a gentle kiss and a heavy embrace before watching Melissa skip off.

"Behave!" Olivia yelled.

"I will!" She yelled back turning to wave and grin widely.

Olivia just laughed and waved back.

"Ms Benson?" A voice came from behind her.

"Yes?" She replied turning around.

"Hi I'm Missy Sanchez' Mom Elena." She explained extending her hand.

"Olivia." She replied giving the woman her first name.

"Missy was asking if she could have Melissa over for dinner after school one night before Christmas and I told her I'd speak with you." She explained bashfully.

"Oh that's quite funny I told Melissa I'd speak to you about having Missy over on a Saturday for the day." Olivia smiled.

"Really?" Elena laughed thinking it was quite the coincidence.

"Yeah, Melly's pretty busy after school so I thought a Saturday would be easiest for me but I'm sure she'd love to miss something to come play over yours." Olivia explained.

"Are you free this morning?" Elena asked.

"I am why?" Olivia replied.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come for coffee, there's a shop just across the street and maybe we can arrange something for the girls." Elena explained flicking her black hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll just let my Mother know or she'll worry." Olivia laughed pulling her cell phone from her pocket.

"Ok." Elena smiled as Olivia speed dialled her home phone.

"Hi Mom, I'm going for coffee with a friend, I'll see you later... ok... bye." Olivia hung up. "Sorry my Mom worries too much considering my age." Olivia laughed, she understood why her Mom was so protective.

"Ah right, well I'm sure I'll be the same when Missy's all grown up too!" Elena laughed.

The two women carried on the chit-chat as they walked to the coffee shop.

****

**Corner Coffee, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, October 10th 2008**

**9.17 am**

"So Missy said that Melissa was adopted?" Elena asked as soon as they were both sat down with their drinks.

"Yeah she is." Olivia replied awkwardly.

"You can't tell, she has eyes that are very similar to yours." Elena explained her reason for asking such a personal question.

"Yes I've heard." Olivia smiled.

"So what do you do for a living Olivia?" Elena asked trying to keep up the conversation going.

"I'm a cop." Olivia replied. "A detective with the Manhattan's Special Victims Unit."

"Oh, right." Elena replied.

Olivia knew exactly what was going through Elena's mind. How did a blue collar cop send her daughter to Manhattan's most prestigious Catholic school? She had expected it when she would finally begin to associate with the parents of Melissa's school friends.

"So who is Melly's adoptive father?" Elena asked trying to see if she could find out where Melly's school fees were being paid from.

"Detective Cole Jeffries he was with the Manhattan Missing Persons." Olivia replied knowing she was stepping on emotional territory.

"Oh so he's a cop too?"

"Was a cop, he died in July." Olivia replied looking at her coffee.

"Oh I'm sorry." Elena whispered feeling guilty.

"It's ok." Olivia replied not wanting the woman to feel guilty for asking. "I have a wonderful family, Melissa, my fiancé Elliot, my Mother and Father and with Nicole on the way it's perfect." Olivia explained with a gentle smile.

"So what does your fiancé do?" Elena continued wanting to know all about Olivia and her family before letting her child go to the house.

"Elliot's a cop, he's actually my partner, he has been for nine years ... when Cole died he was my rock, and we realised that all along we had each other and we needed no one else." Olivia replied smiling gently still.

"And your parents?" Elena continued smiling at Olivia seeing that she was happy.

"My adopted parents, my dad is Captain Donald Cragen from Manhattan's special victims unit and Mom's ... I don't know how to explain Mom, she's from the Donahue family but married into Jeffries family and then married Don Cragen in September." Olivia explained.

"Donahue family, ah yes Anne Jeffries, she's the last one isn't she?" Elena asked, she knew who Anne Jeffries was.

"No she has a biological daughter Tammy." Olivia replied.

"Oh right, I didn't know." Elena replied.

"Tammy doesn't really want that life, she's a career woman." Olivia explained knowing that Elena wouldn't understand.

"Oh, I see, so maybe we should discuss the girls?" Elena suggested moving on before Olivia could change it on her family, the woman was a cop and could easily run a background check to find what she needed to know.

****

**Do you want the play date or not? **


	48. Chapter 48

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**KINDA SKIPPING ALL THE WAY CLOSER TO THE BABY'S BIRTH BECAUSE I GOT SO BORED OF WRITING IT HOPE Y'ALL DON'T MIND. **

**I have to take a break of writing for a few days to catch up with school work that I let suffer because I've been writing ff so that's why the big skip ahead.**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, December 31st 2008**

**4.08 pm**

Olivia and Elliot sat in the library relaxing as Don and Anne had taken Melissa out for the afternoon. The closer it had gotten to Olivia's due date the more the grandparents had been with their granddaughter trying to stop her from feeling neglected from Olivia's lack of movement.

"Ten days." Elliot whispered as he planted gentle kisses along Olivia's very large bump.

"I can't wait, I'm so excited to meet her." Olivia replied as she stroked her finger along the top of her stomach.

"I know, our little Nicole." Elliot smiled.

"Our baby girl." Olivia laughed but it stopped abruptly when she was hit with a sharp pain.

"What is it?" Elliot asked his face turning white.

"More Braxton Hicks Elliot, nothing to worry about, but it seems like Nicole is dancing on my bladder so will you help me up?" She asked half laughing.

Elliot smiled and stood up in front of Olivia giving her his hands so he could help pull her up to his feet. The second she came upright the gush of water hitting their bare feet had both of them turning white.

"El..." She whispered.

"Are you ready?" He asked knowing that she was beginning to panic.

"Get the labour bag, it's in the living room behind the three seater, the black holdall. I'll call my parents." She explained grabbing the phone hoping that they would make it to the hospital.

She only had to click two buttons on the house phone to make the call to her father and as panicked as she was she tried as hard as she could to stay calm and sound calm.

Cragen.

"Daddy, my water broke, we're leaving for Mercy now." Olivia explained calmly but he knew she wasn't calm because she'd called him 'Daddy'.

Ok we'll meet you at the hospital. He replied himself trying to keep calm and Olivia could hear her mother's panicked voice in the background when she hung up.

"Liv are you ready?" Elliot asked coming into the room.

"Yeah." She nodded trying to keep her breath calm but she couldn't hide her fear from Elliot.

"Ok let's go." He said taking her hand.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, December 31st 2008**

**4.49 pm**

Olivia and Elliot were taken straight up to the maternity ward. She changed into a gown and was quickly examined by the doctor while a nurse asked her questions.

"Have you had any contractions since your waters broke?"

"No." Olivia replied realising she'd had one just before but hadn't since.

"How long ago did your waters break?"

"I don't know forty minutes?" Olivia shrugged she hadn't exactly been looking at the time. "Ahhh!" She yelled as a contraction hit her.

"Well that gives us something to work on, you're in labour Olivia." Doctor Whitney smiled putting the blanket down.

"I guessed." Olivia replied as she calmed down from her contraction.

"We'll monitor you and see when the next contraction hits but I'd say this baby is going to be here today." Doctor Whitney explained.

"Ok. But it's early." Olivia replied not wanting to show how worried she was.

"Only ten days and you've had a healthy pregnancy except for being blown up you've had no complications Olivia so I don't think there is anything to worry about." She smiled just as Melissa, Cragen and Anne came into the room.

"Dad!" Olivia called taking his embrace in, he was as white as a sheet but he was excited too.

"Mommy." Melissa smiled climbing onto the side of the bed.

"Are you ready to meet Nicole?" Olivia asked trying to explain to her daughter why she was in the hospital, Melissa had been scared of them since Michael's death.

"Is she coming?" Melissa asked.

"Very soon." Olivia replied smiling gently as she stroked her daughter's hair. "Ahhh!" She called out again as another wave hit her.

Anne pulled Melissa off the bed.

"Mommy?" She asked panicked.

"It's ok Melly, it's just Nicole telling Mommy she's on her way." Olivia replied not wanting to scare her daughter. "Mom get her out of here." Olivia added knowing her daughter would get more worked up the closer together the contractions became.

Olivia's breathing was heavy as she came down from the last contraction with Don Cragen on one side and Elliot on the other they helped keep her calm by rubbing their thumbs along the back of her hands.

"I don't think I can do this." She whispered as a smaller contraction hit. "Ahhh!" She yelled a bigger one following seconds later.

"You're ok Liv." Elliot whispered, he'd watched all his kids being born and he knew it was tough, he knew what lay ahead for Olivia and it scared him so he couldn't begin to imagine how scared she was as she did not know exactly what would happen.

"Ahhhh!" She cried out again tears prickling her eyes. "Fuck!" She swore the pain she decided was worse than being shot.

"You're ok Liv." Elliot whispered again stroking her forehead which was covered in perspiration making her bangs glue to her forehead.

"I don't think I can do this." She whispered again her breathing far more laboured as she tried to just breath through the pain, it felt constant not like the short bursts she'd imagined but it was constant with bursts that were three times more painful.

A nurse came in and gave Olivia an ultrasound and checked both Mother and baby over to make sure neither one was in any danger.

"There's a pool going on in the nurses lounge with you Ms Benson." The nurse smiled as she checked Olivia's blood pressure.

"Oh yeah?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah whether or not this baby will be born in 2008 or 2009." She explained.

"If this baby waits until 2009 I will kill her." Olivia gasped as another sharp pain ripped through her.

The nurse laughed gently, she'd seen and heard worse from mothers in labour so Olivia's reaction didn't surprise her.

"Ms Benson did you take any birthing classes?" The nurse asked.

"Yes." Olivia nodded.

"If you want to move around in the bed and get comfortable you can, try the things you tried in the birthing classes and you'll find which one best suits you. I also need to ask if you want gas and air."

"I want the gas and air, it's in my birthing plan." Olivia replied having agreed to have gas and air but refused an epidural.

"Ok I'll set that for you now, do you remember any of the positions you practised or would you like me to guide you through some?" The nurse asked as she set up the gas and air tank for Olivia.

"My mind's gone blank." She replied.

"Ok one a lot of mothers seem to prefer is being on their front with their legs tucked underneath them and their head on the pillows and having a partner rub their back, especially those who refuse an epidural." She explained.

Olivia remembered the position and with Elliot's help who also remembered how they'd been taught (which was lucky considering the amount of laughter that Olivia had shared with Amanda during the class) she made it into it as the nurse passed her the mouthpiece and showed her how to use it.

"Now if husband massages the lower back maybe Dad would stroke the back of the neck and scalp?" The nurse smiled turning to Cragen.

He hesitated looking at Olivia to be sure she was ok with it but she didn't do anything to say yes or no so he leant over her and gently rubbed circles around her upper back with his palm copying what Elliot was doing on the lower back.

"Ouch." Olivia gasped silent sobs passing through her mouth as she tried to focus on breathing.

"I'll be back to check on you soon Ms Benson if you need anything press this buzzer." The nurse smiled placing the small buzzer beside Olivia.

"Thanks." She replied trying not to wince in pain.

The nurse nodded and left the three of them to it knowing there was a few hours to go until baby Benson arrived in the world.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, December 31st 2008**

**6.36 pm**

Olivia had been in labour for nearly three hours. She was in pure agony and she now lay on her side her back towards Elliot who still massaged her lower back and her hand clasped tight in Cragen's who was gently running his other hand through her hair. It seemed to relax her a little being in this position and the men had no objections.

In the waiting room at the bottom of the corridor Anne, Melissa, the Stabler children, Melinda, Alex, Casey, Huang, Munch and Fin waited for news on Olivia. Anne had been backwards and forwards to check on her but Anne had seen that Olivia wanted Don by her side and she had no objections to that, he had been in her life a lot longer than she had.

"Ahhh!" Olivia screamed as another sharp contraction ripped through her body. "I need this to end get her out of me!" She sobbed squeezing Cragen's hand and the gas and air mouth piece in the other.

"Come on Liv not long now she'll be here with us." Cragen whispered just as Elliot had been earlier, trying to reassure her and keep her calm.

"I can't do this Daddy." She sobbed.

It was killing him. He'd never witnessed anyone give birth before and the fact that he was watching his 'little' girl was killing him, she was visibly in agony and there was nothing he could do to take away her pain.

"If you fathered this child Elliot I'd kill you." Cragen told him.

"Why?" Elliot asked knowing the answer but hoping it would make Olivia feel a little bit better.

"For putting her through this." He explained and Olivia did laugh weakly at the comment.

Elliot just smiled, he may not have biologically fathered Nicole but he was going to be the father she would grow up with.

"I know." Elliot nodded.

"It's not funny. If Cole wasn't already dead I'd murder him myself." Olivia said breathlessly before laughing weakly making the men laugh as they realised it was her attempt at a joke.

"Fuck get this baby out of me!" She screamed as another rippling contraction tore through her.

Doctor Whitney came in smiling at the scene in front of her.

"Olivia I need to check how dilated you are, can you roll onto your back and put your legs at a ninety degree angle." She explained.

Olivia couldn't even muster any words so she just did as Doctor Whitney asked.

"Please tell me she's coming." Olivia pleaded.

"You're still a way off Olivia, you're only three centimetres dilated." The doctor explained putting the blanket down so Olivia could put her legs down.

"Fuck. Me." Olivia spat angrily.

"Hey won't be long." Doctor Whitney smiled.

"Dad go tell Mom to take Melly for something to eat." Olivia whispered. "She needs to have some food and if Nicole isn't going to show up for a while they may as well go now."

"Ok I'll be right back." He replied giving her hand a gentle squeeze before leaving.

She was still lying flat on her back and Elliot hovered above her stroking her chin as she pulled on the gas and air.

"You're doing great Olivia. Not long now baby." He cooed softly.

"Not long? I'm only three centimetres dilated after three hours! I'm telling you if she waits until the new year there will be trouble, I don't think ... Ahhh ... I don't think I can take much more of this." Olivia could only gasp the words as she focused on her breathing.

He squeezed her hot and sweaty palm. She was sweating all over yet she felt cold from the air of the room hitting her sweating body.

"I swear to God she better hurry up." Olivia moaned in agony.

Elliot chuckled lightly. He'd done this four times with Kathy and the words that had come out of her mouth during labour had been a lot worse than the ones Olivia was coming out with. He was surprised, he'd expected Olivia to be a nightmare patient being a woman who hated hospitals and anyone within the medical profession but she seemed to be taking all of this on her sleeve.

"I love you Elliot, but God I am not doing this again." She panted.

"Kathy said that after Maureen." Elliot laughed making Olivia smile.

"Then there was Kathleen and the twins. So she did it two more times." Olivia replied.

"Exactly." Elliot laughed still stroking her cheek as she rubbed her face into his hand.

"If you think I'm doing it another two times you have another thing coming Stabler." She laughed and winced just as Don Cragen came back into the room.

She just reached out her hand for him wanting no one else by her side but the two most important men in her life.

"Munch, Fin, Melinda, Alex, Casey and all the Stabler kids are sending you their love." He whispered when he arrived at her side and sat down gently stroking her hand.

"Oh they're all here?" Olivia asked.

"They wouldn't be anywhere else." Cragen replied.

"They should have all been at ours tonight anyway, we were going to watch the ball drop on TV together." Olivia laughed breathlessly.

"There's a TV in here, we can put the celebrations on if you want?" Elliot whispered.

"No put some music on." Olivia replied. "Any music just something in the background." Olivia explained.

"Ok." Elliot whispered putting a music channel on the TV and turning it down so it was just a hum in the background.

"Nicole..." Olivia looked at her stomach as she spoke. "This is your Mother and I am telling you to get the fuck out here right now." She laughed hoarsely making both Elliot and Cragen laugh with her.

"Ahhh!" She yelled again this time her upper body convulsing forward in agony.

"I can't do this anymore!" She yelled angrily.

"Come on Liv." Elliot replied climbing behind her on the bed and beginning to rub her shoulders.

"I swear, if she isn't out before midnight there will be trouble because she should be born a lot before midnight!" Olivia snapped, she'd gone past being sad about the pain and generally hurting to being a moody cow and Elliot and Cragen knew they were about to catch the brunt of it.

There was a knock on the door and Alex, Casey and Melinda popped their heads around the door.

"Hey." Olivia smiled weakly at them.

"We were told you had a while to go and wondered if you wanted your girlfriends to distract you for a bit." Casey smiled being the more blunt of all of them.

Olivia nodded and the three women smiled and rushed inside to be with their friend.

It was quite the scene. Melinda went straight for Olivia's chart while Alex stood beside Cragen and Casey sat on the edge of the bed, it was typical personality traits in action.

"You're not having an epidural Liv?" Melinda asked reading through her birthing plan.

"No." Olivia replied. "No way."

"Why?" Melinda asked in shock.

"Don't know, but I don't want it." She shrugged not in the mood to begin explaining the hundred odd reasons that had helped her make her decision.

"How's the pain Olivia?" Alex asked making Olivia turn her head.

"It's like having someone with a hack saw in your stomach." Olivia explained making Alex grimace but Casey laughed understanding Olivia was joking a little.

"Now what are your chosen words to yell at Elliot during the birth?" Casey asked making Olivia laugh some more, these were her best friends, three complete different women but each one special and amazing in their own way.

"Don't get me ... Ahhhh!" She yelled another contraction ripping its way through her making her latch on to the gas and air. "Don't get me started."

Everyone laughed gently at her joke which made her smile in return.

"Fuck I can't do this!" She yelled squeezing Cragen's hand to the point he was convinced she'd broken his fingers.

"Yes you can Liv, you can do this." Elliot whispered into her ear his hands massaging her lower back.

"I can't." She cried gently. "Don't let me ever do this ever again."

"Ok Liv if that's what you want." Elliot replied knowing it was the only thing that he could say to calm her down.

"She needs to get out of me now." Olivia gasped wanting this to be over with.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, December 31st 2008**

**8.15 pm**

"Five hours." Olivia moaned. "Five fucking hours."

"Hey come on Liv it won't be that much longer now." Elliot whispered, the doctor had just left them after checking both mother and baby.

"In the last two hours I've dilated one centimetre Elliot, not here till tomorrow? Feels like she'd trying to hold on till her due date." Olivia replied fresh tears pooling her eyes.

She was tired, drained and in agony and the only thing she could do was cry.

"Hey come on Liv, she'll be with us soon." Elliot cooed wanting her to calm down.

Don Cragen sat holding her hand just feeling helpless. There was nothing he could do to stop her from hurting and it killed him, he kept rubbing her hand or running his fingers through her hair knowing it relaxed her a little.

"Ahhh! Fuck. Me. Jesus." Olivia yelled as the contraction hit.

They were closer together now, approximately two to three minutes apart but that didn't make a difference to Olivia with her dilating so slowly.

"I'm sure Nicole is going for a world record of labour." Olivia gasped falling back onto the pillows once again.

"Some women go to labour days before their water breaks or their water breaks and they go days without contractions, I know it's tough baby but just think about the moment she gets here and how amazing that's going to be, seeing her tiny face for the first time and hearing her cry." Elliot smiled trying to make Olivia feel better in any way he possibly could.

There was a knock on the door and in walked Anne.

"Mommy." Olivia smiled glad to see her mother.

Anne rushed over to her husband and daughter and wrapped her arms around them both.

"How are you Olivia?" Anne asked stroking her daughter's cheek.

"Dying." Olivia replied laughing weakly.

Anne smiled, she had said similar things when she had given birth.

"I came to ask you if you minded Alex, Casey and Melinda taking Melissa home, she's tired and fighting sleep." Anne explained.

"Yeah, Melissa can meet her baby sister tomorrow no problem." Olivia replied knowing that Melissa must have been shattered.

"Ok I'll go tell them, if you need me tell your Dad to come get me ok?" Anne asked her hand cupping Olivia's face.

She nodded and accepted the gentle kiss her mother dropped on her cheek just as another contraction hit.

"Fuck!" Olivia screamed. "Fuck me!"

Anne just smiled and didn't bother with her "don't curse" routine as she was the only person in the room who actually knew how her daughter was feeling. She headed off leaving the three of them alone again.

"How much longer?" Olivia sobbed. ****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, December 31st 2008**

**10.27 pm**

Olivia lay back on the bed and was being examined for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Ok Olivia we're ready to go up to the delivery suite, you're not far off now." Doctor Whitney smiled.

"How far off?" Olivia asked weakly.

"Seven centimetres."

Olivia just groaned, she'd be in labour for seven hours and she was exhausted.

"The nurse will be over with a wheelchair to take you up in a moment until then keep breathing." The doctor explained filling in information on her chart.

"Thanks." Olivia mumbled, she just wanted the birth over with so she could finally meet her little girl.

Olivia watched the doctor leave the room and wondered how much longer it would be before she'd have Nicole Anne in her arms, she'd been imaging that moment over and over again since she'd decided to keep Nicole. It was the moment she was most excited and most scared of.

"Hi Ms Benson, let's get you up to the delivery suite, you might get to meet your baby this year." A nurse smiled coming into the room with a wheelchair.

"Thanks." She replied not finding the joke about the year being at all funny.

"I'll go and tell everyone that we're moving." Cragen explained getting to his feet as he went to let go of Olivia's hand she stopped him.

"Don't be long, I need you with me." She whispered.

"I'll be there." He replied giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Are both of these men your birthing partners?" The nurse asked as she helped Olivia to her feet.

"Yes." Olivia said, it hadn't originally been the plan but she was to scared now, she needed Elliot and her father by her side.

"Ok well we'll be in room 3 upstairs on the delivery floor." The nurse told Cragen.

"I'll be there." He said before letting go of Olivia's hand.

Elliot helped the nurse transfer Olivia into the wheelchair. The nurse then transferred the gas and air bottle onto the back of the wheelchair as Olivia breathed deeply through the mouthpiece still in her hand.

"Ahhhh! Shit!" Olivia yelled as a contraction hit her.

The nurse just smiled as Elliot took Olivia's empty hand in his own giving it an encouraging squeeze.

"Ready?" Elliot whispered, Olivia just nodded in reply and allowed the nurse to begin wheeling her towards the delivery suite.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Wednesday, December 31st 2008**

**11.25 pm**

Olivia sat down on the bed with the nurse's help and breathed through each contraction which was tearing through her body every minute or so now.

The doctor came in and checked Olivia over once again and smiled.

"We're nearly there now Olivia." Doctor Whitney smiled.

"How much longer?" Olivia asked close to tears.

"Not long." Doctor Whitney explained knowing she couldn't give the Detective a proper time constraint.

Olivia lay her head back and as Cragen came back into the room she reached out to him needing him to hold her hand.

"Ahhhh fuck!" Olivia screamed as yet another contraction tore through her body.

Doctor Whitney and two nurses kept checking Olivia over getting ready for the baby to be born. Olivia just wanted it to be over with and kept trying to hum along to the radio playing in the background.

"Fuck me!" She screamed as another contraction hit.

Doctor Whitney once again checked Olivia over and she looked at the detective grinning.

"We're nearly ready for you to push Olivia, it won't be long now." She smiled.

"I can't do this." Olivia sobbed putting her sweating forehead on her and Cragen's hand as Elliot massaged the top of her stomach as they had been taught in the classes Olivia had taken him too.

"Yes you can Olivia, your baby will be here soon." Cragen cooed nervously, he hated seeing Olivia in so much pain.

"Today would be nice." Olivia whispered through the pain she was experiencing, she knew it was getting ever closer to midnight, that wasn't what bothered her though, it was just knowing that this baby was taking a long time to come into the world.

"Ok Olivia when I tell you too I want you to push for me ok?" Doctor Whitney smiled.

Olivia nodded and let go of the gas and air to take hold of Elliot's hand. She braced herself by closing her eyes and breathing deeply just as the midwife at the antenatal clinic had taught her.

"Ok Push!" Doctor Whitney called and Olivia did just that.

Her face scrunched up as she squeezed Elliot and Cragen's hand, pushing with all her might.

"Ok and breath." Doctor Whitney smiled gently.

Olivia let go of the breath that had hitched in her throat and her grip on the men's hands loosened a little.

"That's it Olivia we're nearly there come on." Elliot whispered before clasping his lips to her hand.

Her head turned to look into his eyes, they were already pooling with fresh tears and she just smiled weakly at him.

"Ahhh!" Olivia yelled another contraction crashing through her body.

"And get ready Olivia ... ok... and push!"

Olivia did as she was told.

"Fuck Oh my God Fuck!" She screamed as she pushed with every ounce of her being.

"That's it Olivia and breathe." Doctor Whitney smiled gently.

Olivia let out another breath and tried to calm herself down a little she knew she was distressed even if her baby wasn't, Nicole wasn't in a rush to meet her family.

"Ok Olivia get ready ... and push."

Olivia pushed and in the process pulled herself to sitting using Cragen and Elliot's weight for support.

"I can see the crown Olivia, not long now." Doctor Whitney smiled. "Get ready ... and Push!"

Olivia pushed again, as hard as she possibly could with hope the baby would just get out already.

"That's it Olivia, one more push and we should have Nicole's head out. Ok brace yourself." Doctor Whitney told her.

"Ahhh!" Olivia yelled as she pushed again, desperation and fear the main emotions running rampant through her body.

"Ok Olivia two more and baby will be here." Doctor Whitney told her. "And push."

"Ahhhhhhhh! Fuck me pink and blue!" Olivia screamed as she pushed with all her might.

"That's it, one more Olivia, one more, ready ...push!"

"Ahhhhhh fuck!" She yelled as she pushed and pushed and she knew the second Nicole was out, she knew even though as she fell back into the pillow there wasn't a cry.

"You did it Liv." Elliot whispered kissing her hand.

"Does daddy want to cut the cord?" One nurse asked.

Elliot didn't hesitate in going to cut the cord and as Nicole's cry echoed around the delivery suite Olivia, Elliot and Cragen began to cry too.

"Ok we just need to deliver the placenta." Doctor Whitney explained as the nurses cleaned the baby.

"She's so beautiful Olivia, ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes." Elliot whispered as she delivered the placenta.

"She is?" Olivia asked as Elliot wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks.

"She's perfect." He cried.

When the doctor was done she helped Olivia sit up and a nurse passed her baby over.

"Baby Benson, weighs only five pounds and two ounces but she's healthy and she's forty six centimetres long." The nurse smiled.

"Hey Nicole, I'm your Mommy." Olivia whispered as Nicole latched her hand around Olivia's finger.

"You'll need to know too, she was born as the clock finished chiming midnight, so I'll say Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday." The nurse smiled. "You had a new year baby."

Olivia heard but she wasn't in the mood to laugh about it, she was humming along to the song "Too much Love with kill you" from the British band Queen that was playing on the radio.

"She's so beautiful." Cragen whispered the tears falling down his cheek.

"Isn't she?" Olivia replied as her thumb stroked along Nicole's knuckles. "Does Daddy want to hold Nicole?" Olivia asked turning to Elliot.

He just nodded to afraid to say anything because he was crying. Slowly, Olivia passed Nicole to Elliot who held her close to his chest.

"Hey Nicole Anne, I'm your Daddy and I love you so much." Elliot cooed quietly. "I'm so happy to meet you."

Olivia wiped away more tears as she watched Elliot and Nicole interact, it was so natural and beautiful it was perfect.

"Does Granddad want to hold Nicole before we take her to the baby suite?" The nurse asked coming back into the room.

Cragen looked at Olivia for permission but she was smiling happily and he slowly took the small bundle into his arms giving his finger for Nicole to grasp.

"Hey there Nicole, I'm your Granddad, and you are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my life." He whispered gently.

He then had to hand Nicole over to the nurse and Olivia cried some more as she was taken away.

"I didn't want to give her back." Olivia whispered as she sobbed.

"They have to check her over properly Olivia, to make sure there aren't any complications at all." Elliot explained.

"I know." Olivia nodded wiping away her tears.

"Nicole Anne Benson born on the first of January two thousand and nine at midnight." Olivia whispered.

"A new year baby." Elliot replied.

"I should go and tell everyone that she's here." Cragen whispered getting to his feet.

"Tell them all I say hi." Olivia replied.

"I will." Cragen smiled.

He walked straight to the waiting room on the delivery floor where he had left them all half an hour before. They all jumped to their feet and seeing him wipe his tears they knew Nicole had been born.

"We had a new year baby." He explained as Anne wrapped her arms around him in an embrace.

"Is she ok?" Anne asked.

"Perfect." He replied looking around the room. "She's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen in my life."

"And how's Olivia?" Alex asked stepping forward after hugging her friends.

"Exhausted but she told me to say hi to all of you." Cragen replied smiling as Anne wiped her own tears.

"I need to see Olivia." Anne whispered.

"Come on, I think she needs to see you too." Cragen replied knowing that Olivia wanted to see Anne more than any of the others who she'd see once she was settled back in her bed downstairs.

****

**It will be at least a week before I update this story, I'm banning myself from Fan Fic until I've completed my coursework which is due in Friday. **


	49. Chapter 49

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**My break from FF starts the second I arrive back at school which is in the morning. So here's another update!**

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, January 1st 2009**

**8.38 am**

Olivia woke up feeling great after eight hours sleep.

"Hey." Elliot whispered seeing her.

"Hey." She smiled. "Did you sit here all night?"

"Nope, I spent most of it watching through the glass on Nicole." He smiled back at her.

"How is she?" Olivia asked feeling the need wanting to hold her daughter badly.

"Perfect, the nurse let me hold her after she was fed. Her cry is so beautiful Liv and she was pulling these little faces and scrunching up her tiny little nose ... Liv it was so beautiful." He explained tears welling up in his eyes, his voice soft and gentle a in a way Olivia had only heard him use when talking to child victims.

"I want to see her." Olivia croaked.

"I'll get the nurse." He smiled standing up and leaning over to kiss her.

"I think she's going to have your eyes." He whispered pulling away from her.

"They're blue." Olivia replied.

"All Caucasian babies are born with blue eyes." Elliot replied.

"She's hardly going to be Caucasian, both Cole and I have olive skin, Cole was even darker." Olivia laughed.

"Good point but she was born with blue eyes, they may still change Liv, I'll go get a nurse." He smiled before walking off.

Olivia laid her head back and thought of her baby. She had only held her for a brief moment the night before and she'd fallen asleep so quick after arriving back on the maternity ward that she didn't get the chance to hold her a second time. When Elliot returned a nurse was with her smiling happily.

"Good Morning Ms Benson how are you feeling this morning?" She smiled.

"Good I just want to hold my baby." Olivia replied smiling happily.

"Ok well everything looks good here." The nurse smiled looking over Olivia's notes. "I'll have her bought her for you." She smiled before leaving again.

"You did so well last night Olivia." Elliot whispered sitting beside her on the bed. "I'm so proud of you, you brought us such a healthy baby girl."

"I can't believe she's here!" Olivia replied tears stinging her eyes, she was so happy.

"I know, your Mom said she'd bring Melissa around nine, everyone but Melinda got to peak at her through the glass last night but Melinda stayed with Melissa." He explained as the nurse came in with Nicole.

"Here she is." The nurse smiled handing her over to Olivia who beamed happily.

"Hi Nicole, hello my baby." Olivia smiled holding her close.

Nicole's eyes opened wide and they connected momentarily with Olivia's which pooled fresh tears again. Olivia placed her finger under Nicole's hand and she grasped it instantly.

"I'm your Mommy." Olivia whispered as Elliot stroked Nicole's tiny forehead with a finger.

Nicole wiggled her head almost as if she was getting comfortable before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

"I think she's happy." The nurse smiled. "I'll bring some formula in for you for when she needs to be fed and we'll bring in a crib so you can have her by your side until you go home."

"Will that be today?" Olivia asked.

"I shouldn't see why not." The nurse smiled before walking off and leaving them all to it.

"She's so perfect." Olivia cooed softly looking down at her little daughter in her arms.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, January 1st 2008**

**9.17 am**

Olivia could only watch as she fed Nicole, every part of her loved this child already and she could do nothing but smile. When the door opened she didn't lift her head thinking it was a nurse coming to check on her but Melissa's yell made her look up smiling.

"Mommy!" She called rushing over.

"Hey Melly!" Olivia smiled as Elliot lifted the young girl onto the bed.

"Is that Nicole?" She asked nodding her head towards the bundle in Olivia's arms.

"Yeah." Olivia smiled. "This is your little sister."

"She's tiny." Melissa smiled stroking Nicole's hand.

"She'll get bigger." Olivia laughed.

As Nicole grasped Melissa's finger her little face lit up and she looked at her mother and smiled as Anne snapped photos.

"She's beautiful." Melissa whispered. "I think I love her."

"I think she loves you too." Olivia smiled blinking back her tears.

"Mommy are you sad?" Melissa asked.

"No baby, Mommy's very happy." Olivia laughed as she brushed away her tears.

"Then why are you crying?" Melissa asked still unsure if her Mother was telling her the truth.

"They're happy tears Mel, I'm so happy." Olivia smiled.

Melissa just smiled as Olivia removed the empty bottle and lifted Nicole to be burped. She laughed as her baby sister passed wind and returned her finger to the baby's grip as Olivia held her to fall asleep.

"Right come on Melly I'm sure Mommy needs some rest, you can come back with Granddad later." Anne smiled.

"Bye bye Mommy." Nicole smiled kneeling over Nicole and dropping a kiss on Olivia's lips. "Bye bye Nicole." She whispered and so gently she leaned down and pressed her lips to Nicole's head and Olivia grinned as it was so beautiful and she was relieved that her Mom had captured it on camera.

Elliot helped Melissa off the bed and she waited patiently as Anne said her goodbyes.

"I'll be back with your father later." She smiled after kissing Olivia's cheek. "And Olivia... She's perfect just like her Mommy."

"Thanks Mom." Olivia whispered.

"But she has her Father's nose!" Anne winked.

"I noticed!" Olivia laughed, her nose had always been the body part she'd been uncomfortable with so she had been relieved to see Nicole hadn't inherited it.

Olivia and Elliot watched as Melissa and Anne left and then turned their attention back to the baby sleeping soundly.

"You should put her down and get some rest Olivia, you're going to be flooded with visitors as they're cops who will flash their badges to get in." Elliot laughed.

"Yeah remind me to tell Dad to tell the front desk not to allow them to do that or I'm going to get no peace thanks to the DA's ME's and Cops coming in and out!" Olivia teased.

She passed Nicole to Elliot to place into the small crib at the bottom of the bed before lying down and shutting her eyes falling into an easy sleep.

****

**Mercy General Hospital, Manhattan, New York**

**Thursday, January 1st 2009**

**3.26 pm**

Olivia was all dressed finally being given the all clear so she and Nicole could go home. Elliot had been to get the car seat and get changed himself and was back to collect them.

"Hey." She smiled as she finished packing the bag.

"Hey." He smiled kissing her cheek and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Ready to go?" He asked resting his head on her shoulder making her rub her cheek into Elliot's temple.

"Yep, can't wait to get this little madam home." Olivia smiled looking over to the crib where Nicole slept.

"She'll be in her own crib tonight." Elliot smiled.

"Yep waking us up every two or three hours." Olivia laughed.

"Come on lets go." Elliot smiled taking Olivia's bag and placing it in the car seat as Olivia went over to the crib and picked up Nicole nestling her carefully into her arms.

As they walked out into the corridor the nurses who had worked with Olivia had gathered around to say goodbye.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan**

**Thursday, January 1st 2009**

**4.16 pm**

"Have you got her?" Elliot asked as Olivia pulled out the car seat.

"Yeah." She nodded as she slowly lifted the seat into her arms.

They walked together up to the front door but before Elliot had even got his key out the door flew open.

"Surprise!" Everyone called.

Olivia smiled happily at all her friends as they made room for her to pass. She went straight to the living room with Nicole and placed the car seat down before lifting a wide awake Nicole into her arms.

Everyone sat down while Elliot wrapped Olivia up in his arms so he could stare down at Nicole.

"So how is she?" Melinda asked having been the only one not seeing the new born till now.

"Perfect." Olivia replied wistfully. "Just perfect."

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan**

**Thursday, January 1st 2009**

**7.38 pm**

Everyone had finally left the Benson-Stabler household leaving the family alone to celebrate their new arrival.

"Liv you hardly talked the whole time they were here, what's up?" Elliot asked as he wrapped her up in his arms.

"Nothing I'm just exhausted Elliot, I was in labour for nearly eight hours and haven't had much sleep during the day, I'd hoped to come home and have a nap but then everyone was here, oh I'm sorry if came off so rude to everyone!" She moaned.

"Hey no one thought that Olivia." He said giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"Ok but Nicole has just gone to sleep so can I sleep now too?" She asked knowing she had little time before Nicole woke up.

"Yeah you get to bed and I'll handle Nicole." He smiled.

"Ok have her in her crib in our bedroom after her ten o'clock feed." Olivia smiled back.

"I know and make sure she's in the crib before she falls asleep, don't let her fall asleep in your arms." He mimicked Olivia's voice.

"I'll see you later." She smiled kissing him before going to bed.

As soon as he heard the bedroom door close he went over to the basinet and gently lifted Nicole into his arms. He wanted time alone with his little girl now away from prying eyes who'd see him get over emotional.

"You're so beautiful Nicole, and I love you so much." He whispered.

****

**So a short update, there's a fast forward coming up in the next chapter!**


	50. Chapter 50

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

**SKIPS TO OLIVIA GOING BACK TO WORK!**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**6.56 am**

Olivia sat in the kitchen feeding Nicole when Cragen came down.

"Morning." She smiled.

"Morning." He replied as he switched on the kettle.

"Hey Dad, I was wondering well ... uh, I was wondering if you minded me changing the girls names when I get married at the end of the month, well I want the girls to be Cragen-Stabler like me." Olivia explained shakily.

Cragen almost dropped the mug he was getting from the cupboard in shock of what Olivia was asking.

"Of course I don't mind, but that means you're dropping Benson all together?" Cragen asked in shock.

"I don't want to carry her name anymore, you and Mom are my parents and I want my children to have your name, Mom has taken Cragen on more now and I don't want to drop it when I get married but I can't exactly be Benson-Cragen-Stabler can I..." she chuckled lightly. "I don't want my biological Mother's name when I have two amazing parents who have given me their name. I want my kids to have my parents name too."

Olivia finished feeding Nicole and started burping her as Cragen came to sat beside her.

"You know, I would love it if you gave the girls my name, it will be wonderful to know someone is going to carry on the name when I'm gone Olivia." He smiled and reached over to stroke Nicole's cheek. "You, Melissa, Nicole and Anne are the best things that ever happened to me, I wonder everyday what I did to deserve all of you." He explained.

"I'm the lucky one Dad. I still can't believe everything that's happened in the last year, I went from being with Cole to having twins with him and getting engaged then Michael died, then Cole died and then I gained Elliot and Nicole and Anne and you, everything seemed to go perfect then it everything went wrong I expected everything to go wrong again, I think I'm still expecting something to go wrong." Olivia explained shakily.

"Nothing's going to go wrong again Olivia, everything's perfect for all of us now. Nicole and Melissa are happy and healthy little girls with loving parents and loving grandparents." Cragen replied giving her a reassuring smile.

"Yeah... yeah you're right, I'm just not used to being this happy." Olivia smiled as Cragen tickled Nicole's stomach.

"Neither is Granddad but we have to just live everyday to the max and be happy with this wonderful family we've been blessed with." Cragen cooed making Nicole giggle.

"Yeah." Olivia smiled enjoying seeing Cragen interact with Nicole.

Elliot came down with Melissa and she rushed over to get a hug off Cragen, she'd been very clingy to her grandparents since her sister's birth, it hadn't bothered Olivia, but she had been worrying that her daughter felt rejected. She passed Nicole over to Elliot as she took Melissa into her arms.

"Hey baby girl." She smiled kissing her on the top of the head.

"Morning Mommy." Melissa smiled.

"You ok?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah." Melissa replied snuggling in to her mother.

"It's time for breakfast Melly, so go choose what you want from the cupboard and then I'll make it for you ok?" Olivia smiled, it was now morning.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**8.41 am**

"Hey welcome back baby girl!" Fin smiled pulling her into an embrace.

"Hey." Olivia smiled returning the gesture before moving on to receiving an embrace from Munch.

"Welcome back Liv." He smiled.

"Thanks." She smiled. "So what have we got?" She was ready to get stuck in.

"Ah yes, this case came in last night, Hannah Coldwell, sixteen, found hanging out of a dustbin on west eighty first street." Munch explained handing both Olivia and Elliot a jacket.

"Next of kin?" Olivia asked opening the jacket.

"They've been informed but we haven't spoken to them any further, they're coming to ID the body later on this morning." Munch explained.

"Ok Liv and Elliot why don't the two of you go and do a door to door on west eighty first street take eight uniform with you it shouldn't take too long then Munch and Fin you talk to the parents and see what they know." Cragen gave out the orders and everyone quickly fell away to get on with their jobs.

"What are you doing?" Elliot asked as Olivia pulled out her cell phone.

"Calling Mom to see how Nicole is." Olivia replied.

"Liv we only left and hour ago." Elliot sighed knowing she was going to be checking in with her mother all day.

"I know ... hey mom.."

As Olivia spoke with her Mother Elliot could only chuckle knowing that it was going to take a while for Olivia to get into the habit of leaving her daughter behind and trust that her mother knew how to take care of her, Olivia had spent every waking moment of the past three months taking care of her daughter and she wouldn't rest into her work if she wasn't a hundred percent sure she was alright.

"Ok, I'll call later, bye."

"And how is our darling daughter?" Elliot asked slipping his arm over Olivia's shoulders and pulling her into him as they walked.

"She's fine and having a nap." Olivia replied. "Now come on, let's go canvass."

****

**West 81****st**** Street, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**9.34 am**

"Hi, we're looking for anyone who might have seen this girl last night or early hours this morning." Olivia told the woman at the eighth house that morning.

"No sorry." She shrugged. "She ... hold on ... Martha! Can you come down here please!"

Olivia looked at Elliot and hoped they might have their first lead.

"What Mom?" The teenager asked, the only thought that came to Olivia's head was why this girl wasn't in school on a Monday morning.

"Hi we're looking for anyone who might have seen this girl last night or early hours this morning." Olivia explained showing the photo.

"Oh my God ... that's Hannah, Hannah Coldwell." The girl replied.

"Yes it is." Olivia nodded. "How do you know her?"

"She and I are friends, not close but friends we both go to Saint Mary's school for girls."

"Ok and your name is?" Elliot asked pulling his notebook from his pocket.

"Sam, Samantha Troy." The girl replied.

"When was the last time you saw Hannah?" Olivia asked needing all the information from the girl.

Samantha looked at her mother nervously and Olivia knew she was going to say something but it wouldn't be the whole truth.

"Sammy tell the detectives the truth please." Mrs Troy said knowing her daughter was about to lie.

"Fine, last night at a party she had a few too many and Carrie sent her home early, that's all I know." Samantha replied.

"Ok so where was this party at?" Elliot asked.

"Why don't you come in from the cold Detectives?" Mrs Troy suggested. "It's warm inside."

Olivia and Elliot nodded and followed them in, Samantha showed them to the living room.

"Ok so where was this part Sam?" Olivia asked gently coaxing the information out of her.

"At Carrie's house, her parents are away on business, they left first thing yesterday morning." Samantha explained.

"Ok what's Carrie's last name?" Olivia continued.

"Lloyd, Carrie Lloyd." Samantha answered instantly.

"Ok and where does she live?" Olivia asked needing to get the information fast.

"West seventy ninth street." Samantha replied.

"Do you know if she's gone to school today?" Olivia continued.

"No, she Skype'd me first thing to find out if I was going or not."

"Ok, so what time did Hannah leave the party last night?" Elliot asked knowing they needed to collaborate the stories before the girls talked to each other again.

"It was ... hmm ... ten to ten, I know because Jed asked me what time it was as Carrie started yelling at Hannah to get out." Samantha replied flicking her dyed red hair over her shoulder.

"Who's Jed?" Olivia asked.

"Jed Roper senior." Samantha replied with a grin that showed she fancied him.

"And I'm guessing he doesn't attend Saint Mary's." Olivia added.

"No he goes to Sacred Hearts of Jesus, we met him when our school volleyball team went to play verses theirs." Samantha explained.

"Ok is that everything?" Olivia asked looking at Elliot.

"It is for now, if you can think of anything else please call us." Elliot replied as Olivia took out her business card and passed it over.

"Wait... what's happened to Hannah is she alright?" Samantha asked.

"No she was raped and murdered last night." Olivia replied.

"Oh my goodness!" Samantha gasped looking at her mother. "I can't believe it."

"Yeah, neither can her parents, again call us if you think of anything, we'll see ourselves out."

As soon as they were out on the pavement Olivia turned to Elliot and he knew she had something going on in her mind.

"What?" He asked.

"Did you notice how she didn't ask what had happened to Hannah till we were about to leave? Isn't that normally one of the first thing people ask when we're inquiring?" Olivia asked having noticed it almost at once.

"Good point, maybe she just wanted to help and didn't think?" Elliot suggested.

"No, she knows something." Olivia replied before getting into the car.

Elliot chuckled, she may have been off for four months but damn she was on the ball.

"Call Cragen, tell him we're going to pay Carrie Lloyd a visit." He told her as he slowly pulled away from the kerb.

****

**West 79****th**** Street, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**10.12 am**

"Hi are you Carrie Lloyd?" Olivia asked the sixteen year old girl standing in the doorway in her pyjamas and robe.

"Uh yeah who are you?" She replied.

"I'm Detective Benson, this is Detective Stabler, can we come in?" Olivia asked knowing they had a lot of questions for the young girl.

"Sure." She replied showing them into the house.

Olivia could see that Carrie was yet to clean up after the party, empty beer bottles and plastic cups everywhere.

"Sorry about the mess." She mumbled, Olivia could also tell the girl had a severe hangover.

"It's ok we need to ask you some questions about your party last night." Olivia explained. "This girl was here?"

She handed Carrie the picture of Hannah and Carrie nodded instantly.

"Yeah why?" She asked as she handed the photo back.

"Hannah Coldwell was raped and murdered last night." She explained.

"Oh ... oh my..." Carrie replied, her face was a picture of shock.

"Yeah, she was seen having an altercation with you could you tell us what that was about?" Olivia asked knowing Elliot was taking notes beside her.

"Yeah she was drunk, I mean real drunk and I told her she should go home and she got really angry, but then Jed, a friend, he stepped up and showed her out." Carrie explained.

"She left alone?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I watched her walk down the street, I did yell to her that I would call and pay for a cab home but she ignored me." Carrie replied.

"Ok and what time was this?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know around eleven maybe half eleven." Carrie told her and Olivia knew instantly that it was a different time to the exact ten to ten pm that Samantha Troy had given them.

"Ok well can you think of anyone who may have been acting strange around her? Did she argue with anyone else?" Olivia asked.

"No, she was normal until she got real drunk and then started being stupid and I knew she'd had too much so I just told her to go home." Carrie shrugged.

"Ok if you think of anything else call us ok? And if we have more questions we'll come by again. We'll see ourselves out." Olivia explained as she handed her card over.

"I hope you find who hurt her Detectives." Carrie replied as they walked out.

Once out on the sidewalk Olivia turned to Elliot, he didn't need to ask her what she was thinking this time because he knew what it was.

"I think she and Samantha know more than they're telling us." Olivia told him.

"Yeah wanna bet she's Skyping her right now?" Elliot laughed gently.

"Yeah ... oh hold on that's Cragen's ring tone." Olivia sighed grabbing her phone. "Benson."

Elliot watched her flick her hair over her shoulder while she talked on the phone, he couldn't believe that in twenty five days she was going to become his wife.

"We're on it." Olivia replied.

"Ok?" He asked.

"Yeah he wants us to go to the morgue Warner's got something for us." She replied going round the passenger side and getting into the car.

He smiled at her before getting into the driver's side.

****

**Morgue, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**10.56 am**

"Hey Liv welcome back." Warner smiled as Olivia and Elliot walked in.

"Hey Mel."

"What am I invisible?" Elliot asked with a chuckle.

"No but you've been back two months already and you're become boring to look at sugar." She replied teasingly.

"Now what have you got for us?" Olivia replied still laughing at Warner's reply.

"Yeah tox screen shows she had a point five oh blood alcohol level but no drugs in her system." Warner began. "Cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. From what I can make out her head was smashed into a brick wall, I found some of the wall in the wound."

"Did our rapist leave a calling card?" Olivia asked as she looked at the young girl's body.

"Yes he did, sperm present." Warner replied.

"Good that will make it easier to find who it is." Olivia smiled knowing their case would be closed as soon as they got the DNA match.

"Bring me a suspect and I'll match it." Warner replied. "However, if they argue consentual sex I don't have anything to prove otherwise, there was no bruising anywhere no marks of rough sex nothing to I don't know if your killer is the one that slept with her and even more there was a long black hair on her shoulder and the DNA is not a match to the semen." Warner explained.

"Ok I think we both know who that may be." Olivia replied turning to Elliot.

"What?" He asked.

"We've spoken with one person with long black hair today haven't we?" She smirked.

"Oh yeah we have." Elliot replied.

"Well I guess you have a suspect then." Warner replied and the detectives nodded before leaving.

"Let's go back to the precinct and report back what we have." Olivia sighed, this wasn't going to be an open shut case.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**12.11 pm**

Olivia and Elliot walked back into the hustle and bustle of the squad room. Cragen signalled them over and they quickly made their way to meet their co-workers at the crime scene board.

"Ok so what do we now Olivia?" He asked.

"Ok..." Olivia replied picking up a pen. "We met Samantha Troy, she told us that she was at a party with our victim at Carrie Lloyd's house. She said that Carrie and Hannah got into an argument and that Carrie got her to leave at around ten to ten pm, she remembered the time because she told Jed Roper the time. Carrie Lloyd said she asked Hannah to leave and she says it was around eleven or eleven thirty which is a big difference in time, she also mentioned Jed Roper as being the one who showed Hannah out." Olivia explained what they had learned from their witnesses before moving on to Warner's result. "Warner said cause of death is blunt force trauma to the head from having her head bashed in to a brick wall, there was sperm present but she wasn't sure if it was actually a rape or consentual sex because there is no evidence of rape and there was a long black hair on the shoulder of Hannah Coldwell." Olivia nodded to Elliot to take them to the end of their discovery.

"Carrie Lloyd, well she has long black hair so it could be hers. Then there's Sammy Troy, she didn't ask us what had happened to Hannah till the very end as we were leaving which both Liv and I think she already knew." Elliot explained. "We want to talk to Jed Roper, seeing as he has been mentioned by both girls, all the girls also attend Saint Mary's while Jed Roper goes to Sacred Hearts of Jesus." Elliot explained.

"Munch and Fin?" Cragen asked turning to the two male detective who had been listening intently to Olivia and Elliot.

"Yeah parents said that she went on a study date to Carrie Lloyd's house her curfew was at ten pm when she didn't return they tried calling the Lloyd house but when there was no answer they called the police." Munch explained.

"Ok Munch and Fin go to Saint Mary's and see who else was at that party, find out anything you can about the argument, El and Liv go to Sacred Hearts of Jesus and talk to Jed Roper." Cragen ordered and the four detectives hurried off.

"Why do we get Sacred Hearts of Jesus?" Olivia asked Elliot as they made their way to the car.

"Because Cragen knows you have a friendship with the principal." Elliot replied.

"Yeah only because my daughter is a student there, come on El the last thing I want is bad blood between me and Diane." Olivia sighed, the principal had been a great help to Olivia and she couldn't help but call the principal a friend anymore.

"Oh well, we have a killer to catch Liv." Elliot replied knowing that he needed to help keep her eye on the ball.

"I know El." She replied.

****

**Sacred Hearts of Jesus school, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**12.41 pm**

Olivia and Elliot walked in time to the front desk, the second the receptionist saw Olivia she called through to the principal.

"Olivia!" Diane smiled coming over and embracing the detective like greeting an old friend.

"Diane how are you?" Olivia asked.

"I'm good how are you?" She smiled.

"I'm well." Olivia replied.

"And the baby?" Diane asked.

"Growing." Olivia laughed.

"Ok so what can I do for you two today?" She asked. "Business or pleasure?"

"Business I'm afraid we need to talk with a senior Jed Roper." Olivia explained while Elliot just stood beside her, his hands cupped behind his back.

"Oh what's he done now?" Diane Thomas sighed.,

"Done now? He's been in trouble with police before?" Elliot asked frowning, they hadn't thought of checking to see if he had a record before leaving.

"Yes he got arrested for driving under the influence and I think it was wreckless endangerment, but I can't be sure." She replied.

"Oh right, well we need to speak with him about what he was doing last night." Olivia explained.

"Well he'll be in the lunch hall now ... ah Marcus can you come here please?" She called over to a senior hall monitor with brown hair and thick framed glasses.

"Yes Mrs Thomas?" He asked.

"Can you show the detectives to the lunch hall and point them to Jed Roper please?" She asked.

"Of course, this way detectives." He smiled extending his arm to mark the way.

"Thanks." Olivia smiled.

They walked through the corridor and down to the lunch hall, Olivia and Elliot had barely stepped inside when an echoing yell caught both of their attention.

"Mommy!" Melly yelled diving into her mother's arms.

"Hey Melly baby." She smiled embracing Melissa tight.

"Why are you here?" Melissa asked as soon as Olivia released her.

"Ah Mommy's working Melly, sorry, why don't you go to your friends and I'll come say goodbye before I go ok?" Olivia smiled gently.

"Promise?" She asked extending her pinky.

"Promise." Olivia replied hooking her own pinky around Melissa's which was a few centimetres smaller.

Marcus showed them to a table where the school 'jocks' seem to be sitting.

"Jed Roper?" Elliot asked.

"Uh who wants to know?" He spat cockily.

"Detective Stabler and Detective Benson." He explained showing his shield.

The table rang out with "ooooohhh's" which made Elliot frown.

"We need to talk to you about what you got up to last night, we can either start embarrassing you in front of your friends or you can come with us and talk in privet?" Olivia suggested and his eyes went round with shock before he jumped to his feet and used his head to signal somewhere for them to go.

They walked out into the playground and Jed Roper leant against the wall and looked at the detectives.

"What d'ya want to know?" He asked.

"What happened last night between you and Hannah Coldwell?" Olivia asked.

"Ah man, I never meant to, it just sorta happened you know, why she call the cops for?" He asked.

"What sorta happened?" Elliot asked taking on the way Jed Roper was talking to them.

"She and I went upstairs and we started making out and she wanted to go further, I mean I wasn't going to say no." He shrugged.

"So you had sex with her?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, I don't know why she called the cops, is she saying I forced her or something?" He asked his eyes going wide with horror.

"Did you?"

"No! Never!" He gasped staring at Elliot in shock.

"Ok well what happened after you had sex with her?" Elliot asked believing the boy in front of him.

"We went back to the party, she got really drunk and then Carrie got real mad with her calling her a slut and dirty whore and stuff because it was obvious we'd been having sex and then she said she wanted her gone and dragged her out by the arm." Jed explained. "Why are you asking all these questions?"

"Hannah Coldwell is dead." Olivia replied.

"What? How?" He asked in complete shock horror.

"Someone killed her Jed." Elliot replied. "Carrie said you helped her out with getting Hannah to leave."

"No, I asked Sammy what time it was and it was ten to ten in case you're wondering and then Sammy walked off to Hannah and Carrie and she followed them as Carrie pulled her out. I called them back and I went to go after them but my friend Scott called me to see some text message he had gotten and I got distracted." Jed explained as fully as he could, he didn't want to be blamed for having any involvement in Hannah's death.

"Ok Scott, what's his surname?" Elliot asked.

"Scott Porter, he's one of the lads who were around the table with me." Jed replied.

"Ok I'll go see if they're still there." Olivia replied walking off knowing she needed to confirm Jed's story before Jed could speak with his friend.

"Which one of you is Scott Porter?" She asked the group of boys now throwing a football across the table.

"That would be me." One stood up brushing his hand through his golden hair with a snide smirk on his face.

"Could you step over here please I need to ask you a few questions." Olivia smiled gently almost flirtatious to get him to go with her.

He nodded and climbed from his seat before following her to a quieter section of the lunch hall.

"Where you at the party in Carrie Lloyd's house yesterday?" Olivia asked.

"No." He lied.

"You're not in any trouble yet Scott, but lie to me again and I'll arrest you for obstruction do I make myself clear?" Olivia spat.

"Ok sorry Ma'am, yes I was." He replied feeling fearful of Olivia now.

"He says that you at some point called him over to you to show some text messages is that true?" She asked.

"Yeah, some bird had been sexting me and I wanted to show him the messages." He replied keeping to the fact she'd asked him not to lie.

"Ok and do you know what time it was?" Olivia asked.

"Around five to ten, I ... hold on I got a text message as he walked over ..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and Olivia waited patiently as he searched for the message he'd received.

"Ah... here we go, I received this message at ten fifty six." He smiled showing Olivia.

"Thank you." Olivia replied before going back outside to Elliot.

He looked at her and she nodded and he turned back to Jed.

"You're clear for now Jed, just practise safe sex next time." Elliot sighed.

"Yes sir." He nodded before rushing off.

Olivia nodded to Jed as he went back into the hall and she walked over to Elliot who looked very frustrated.

"You think Carrie Lloyd is capable of murder?" He asked.

"It seems more and more like her doesn't it? If Jed is telling the truth then yeah and Scott showed me a text he'd received at the exact moment Jed walked over to him and it's time coded at ten fifty six pm." Olivia explained.

"So we need to tell Cragen and get an arrest warrant for Carrie Lloyd." Elliot replied.

"Well the bell's just gone, I should find Melly to say goodbye or she want talk to me for a month." Olivia laughed gently.

****

**Long Chapter – investigation continues next chapter!**


	51. Chapter 51

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**1.36 pm**

Olivia stood facing the crime board now covered in pictures and details of what they had learned.

"So you think Samantha Troy and Carrie Lloyd are covering for each other?" Cragen asked her.

"Yeah, Jed Roper said that he saw both Samantha and Carrie leave with Hannah, Carrie was apparently quite forceful." Olivia explained.

"Ok pick them up and bring them in." Cragen replied.

"But isn't what we have circumstantial? We need more witnesses who saw Carrie and Samantha drag Hannah out." Olivia explained knowing they needed a tight case.

"Ok, visit Carrie Lloyd and get a list of the people who were at that party, someone had to see this altercation." Cragen replied knowing his detective was right.

"Ok." Olivia nodded and he watched as she hurried off.

****

**West 79****th**** Street, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**2.09 pm**

Olivia and Elliot knocked on the door and waited patiently for an answer. When none came Olivia radioed Cragen to the precinct knowing that they either needed to bust the door down or send out a search party for the missing teenager.

"Captain she's not here." Olivia said into the radio as Elliot began snooping around.

"Uh Liv!" He called from the front window.

"What?" She asked.

"We need a bus and CSU." He replied rushing over and kicking the door down.

"This is SVU Portable to central we need a bus and CSU at West seventy ninth street." Olivia spoke into the radio as she followed Elliot inside, his gun out as they walked.

Once in the living room Olivia rushed to Carrie's side kneeling beside her she checked her pulse as Elliot checked the other rooms.

"Cancel the bus we need the ME." She said into her radio as Elliot walked into the room.

Olivia looked at Elliot, their eyes connected and they realised that this case had just got a heck of a lot more complicated.

.

Olivia and Elliot didn't move until Warner and CSU arrived. Once they knew Warner was with the body they both made their way out to meet Cragen who had sped down to them.

"What happened?" He asked as Munch and Fin pulled up.

"No idea, we arrived to ask her for the party list and there was no answer, I radioed you and Elliot looked through the window and saw her lying face down." Olivia explained her voice shaking, it never became easier seeing dead bodies.

"Ok Elliot, Liv go pick up Samantha Troy and bring her down to the station for questioning as she's the most likely suspect right now. Munch and Fin help CSU and then meet us back at the precinct." Cragen sighed and the four detectives went straight to work.

****

**West 81****st**** Street, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**2.34 pm**

"Hi Mrs Troy we're looking for Samantha." Olivia explained as the mother stood in the doorway.

"She's gone to the grocery store." Mrs Troy replied. "Why?"

"We have a few more questions we need to ask her, this is an emergency which store did she go to?" Olivia asked as Elliot's cell began to ring and he walked off to answer it.

"Just the bodega on the corner ... she left nearly an hour ago she should have been back by now." Mrs Troy replied nervously as she checked her watch.

"Liv!" Elliot called and she looked at him as he signalled her over.

Olivia excused herself and walked down to him knowing he had something important to tell her to interrupt her.

"What?" She asked arriving by his side.

He dipped his head so he could whisper and avoid the chance of being lip read.

"They've just found Samantha Troy's body." Elliot whispered.

"Oh no." Olivia sighed. "What on earth is going on here Elliot?"

"I don't know but we should tell her mother. She'll need to ID the body." Elliot sighed.

"Get a uniform down here, we'll need to go back to the precinct and find out what on earth is going on, three sixteen year olds dead in less than forty eight hours." Elliot sighed.

"Yeah, but come with me to tell the Mother?" Olivia asked, telling the family never got any easier.

"Obviously." He replied, he'd never let her do something like this on her own.

Slowly they went back up to where Mrs Troy was waiting at the door.

"Can we come in Mrs Troy?" Olivia asked.

"Of course but why what's going on?" She asked her voice shaking with her suspicion.

"Let's go inside." Olivia said knowing that on the door step was no place to do this.

"No? No! It can't ... please don't?" She broke down into Olivia's arms in wracked sobs already knowing what Olivia was going to say by her demeanour.

"I'm sorry Mrs Troy." Olivia whispered as she held the grieving mother. "I'm so sorry." Olivia whispered and she couldn't help but think of her own two, what she would do if anything ever happened to them was beyond her.

"My baby!" She sobbed harder.

"Come on let's go inside." Olivia whispered just as a marked car came to a halt by the side walk and a liaison officer jumped out, someone Olivia knew had much more experience dealing with grieving parents than she ever would.

Olivia allowed the uniformed officer to take Mrs Troy from her arms and walk her inside. Olivia and Elliot both rushed off knowing that whoever killed Samantha Troy also killed Carrie Lloyd and who killed Hannah Coldwell too.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**3.16 pm**

"Ok so our prime suspects are now victims." Olivia said moving the pictures of Samantha and Carrie from suspect to victims on the crime board.

"Well CSU are crawling over the Lloyd household and TARU have taken the computers so Liv and Elliot go down and wait until Morales finds a party invite list guaranteed that it was done via technology, no one sends party invites anymore. Munch and Fin go down to the morgue and see wait until Warner gives you what she's got." Cragen informed them and they all quickly hurried off.

"What do you think?" Olivia asked Elliot knowing he'd already have his own theory of the crime.

"I don't know, I really don't know." Elliot replied.

"Male or Female perp?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know, I'd go with female." Elliot replied.

"Why do you think female?" Olivia asked wanting to know what he thought.

"Well there was no rape, Jed Roper had consentual sex with Hannah and we'll have to wait and see with Carrie and Samantha but I really think it's a female because of the way Hannah was killed I mean she had her head bashed into a brick wall, don't ask me why but a bloke would more likely pummel her to death or strangle her not bash her head into a wall." Elliot replied.

"Hey after we see Morales if we can't get anything how about we ask Cragen if we can stop at the crime scene, see if we can try and picture what happened?" Olivia asked.

"We can take a detour on the way ... Cragen never need know." Elliot winked playfully.

"Well let's go then." Olivia smiled hitting him playfully on the shoulder.

****

**West 81****st**** Street, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**3.41 pm**

Olivia and Elliot stood by the brick wall where hours ago Hannah Coldwell's skull had been smashed in. They'd seen photographs of it but being stood right where it happened was always different.

"Ok so Samantha Troy's house is just over there." Olivia started pointing to the house in the distance.

"Which way would they have come from Carrie Lloyd's house?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked up and down both streets, the look on her face showing that her mind was working over time.

"I reckon that they walked up this way."

"Why do you think that?" Elliot asked shocked that she'd not only said it but visibly had a reason for saying it.

"I think she walked up this way ..." Olivia demonstrated as she talked. "... and whoever it was grabbed her, from behind and slammed her into the wall face first before using her hair to smash her head in." Olivia explained still demonstrating.

"How do you work that one out?" He asked surprised.

"Because the blunt force trauma was to the front and side of the head, that's consistent with someone pulling and pushing against the head but you couldn't do that with your bare hand unless you had something to grab onto, I would say that the killer wrapped their hand around her hair and then killed her." Olivia explained and Elliot nodded agreeing it was a plausible explanation.

"You still think female?" She asked.

"Yeah." Elliot nodded.

"Well let's see what TARU can give us then." Olivia sighed and they both headed back to the car.

****

**Technical Assistance Response Unit, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**4.32 pm**

"Ok Morales what have you got for us?" Olivia asked as soon as they walked into the office.

"You're going to love me!" He winked passing over a manila folder.

Olivia smiled as she opened the jacket to reveal the guest list for the party.

"You're right I do I love ya!" She joked.

"Yeah well you've not turned the page yet." He smirked because there was a lot more for her to read.

Olivia turned the page over and glanced up at Morales who had a satisfied grin on his face.

"That's the Skype chat log between your second and third victim SamT20 is Samantha Troy and CazLloyd112 is Carrie Lloyd." Morales explained. "That conversation happened at ten thirty six am and ended at eleven oh five am."

"Just after we spoke with Carrie Lloyd." Olivia commented as she and Elliot began to read the conversation.

_SamT20 – We should tell the cops everything Caz we cant hide this 4eva. _

_CazLloyd112 – No Sammy u heard what she sed if we say anything to any1 we end up the same. _

_SamT20 – Yeah I know but if we tell the cops that they can protect us Caz, we shud do this 4 Han._

_CazLloyd112 – I like my head in 1 piece thanks Sam u can tell the cops if u want but don't drag me into it. _

_SamT20 – U think I can tell cops w/out tellin em u kno 2_

_CazLloyd112 – Dont say anything Sammy its best if we just keep out of it, they'll find who did it w/out our help, there cops its what theyre suppose 2 do_

_SamT20 – I bet they think we did it cz it was obvious I knew mre than I sed and theyre going to talk to Jed and he saw u and me leave with her Carrie and theyre going to put 2 and 2 togeva an come out with 8_

_CazLloyd112 – Just stay calm Sam I'll think of s/thing k?_

_SamT20 – Hurry if we haven't been arrested for murder by tomorrow I'm going to the cops and I'm telling them the truth about who did it._

_CazLloyd112- Ok just give me till 2mz to figure something out, call me 2nite, oxox_

_SamT20 – Let me know if u figure it out Caz cz Im scared. _

_CazLloyd112 – Me 2 who'd have thought she was capable of murder even if she always was weird._

_SamT20 – I know call me later oxox_

_CazLloyd112 – count on it oxox_

_SamT20 signed off_

_CazLloyd112 signed off._

"Wow." Olivia gasped once she'd read it all.

"I know but then this might help." Morales explained pulling something from the printer and handing to over to Olivia.

"What's this? another chat conversation?" She asked scanning the document.

"Yeah I tried to trace the IP address but no use it gave us a public coffee shop and whoever it is was smart and put severe privacy settings on her account." Morales sighed.

"So no way of tracing it?" Elliot asked already knowing the answer.

"No." Morales replied.

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and then looked down to the paper in her hands.

_CazLloyd112 – Where r u?_

_2247253673 – Why do you care?_

_CazLloyd112 – Because I'm worried about u A. _

_2247253673 – Don't lie C._

_CazLloyd112 – I'm not, where are u?_

_2247253673 – In hiding, cant go 2 skwl will go hme l8r._

_CazLloyd112 – y don't u cme here?_

_2247253673 – As if u wanna b anywhere near me after what I did._

_CazLloyd112 – ur still my m8, pls let me help u. _

_2247253673 – I cant trust u C. I'm sorry. _

_CazLloyd112 – well I can tell u me and Sam hve spoken to police but dnt worry we didn't tell em anything A. _

_2247253673 – I know, sorry for threatening u but I cnt go to prison, I didn't mean it C I didn't!_

_CazLloyd112 – I know I know please just come here and let me take care of u A. _

_2247253673 – U know I cnt do that don't ask me agen, I'm off now tke cre love u x_

_CazLloyd112 – I know u be safe love u 2 x_

_2247253673 signed off_

_CazLloyd112 signed off_

"Well I'm guessing the killers name begins with the letter A." Elliot stated the obvious.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded. "Morales do you know what time this conversation happened?"

"Yeah first message was sent at twelve fifteen and then the last message at twelve thirty eight." Morales replied.

"Ok so we need to go to that coffee house and see what they've got for us." Olivia turned to Elliot.

"Yeah we also need time of death to find out how long after this message and us finding Carrie did she live for." Elliot sighed, he hated cases like this.

****

**Starbucks West 77nd Street, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**5.21 pm**

Olivia and Elliot walked inside and order a coffee before grabbing the attention of the waitress.

"Excuse me." Olivia asked flashing her badge.

"Yes detective?" The young girl asked.

"Were you working here between midday and one?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah my shift started at eleven thirty."

"Ok could you tell us if you spotted a teenage girl on a computer maybe a little bit distressed or worried?" Olivia asked knowing they needed to find the killer and fast.

"Hmm...actually there was one girl, she was here when I arrived and she stormed out of here about twelve thirty ish in a real foul mood, I went to clear the table and she hadn't touched her coffee." She replied.

"Do you have CCTV cameras?" Elliot asked.

"They broke yesterday and we're waiting to get them fixed sorry." She shrugged.

"Ok can you tell us what the girl looked like?" Olivia sighed, she hated places that didn't have working CCTV, it was one thing that could have helped solve the crime for them.

"Around five foot four, brunette." The girl replied.

"Anything else like a tattoo or uniform or anything like that?" Olivia asked.

"She wore glasses, pink leopard print on the arms." The waitress smiled.

"Ok thank you." Olivia replied and she and Elliot both left.

They stood outside with their coffee's looking up and down the street hoping they could see a bank or somewhere with outdoor CCTV camera's but no such luck, once they were sure there was nothing more they could get they both climbed into the car and headed back for the precinct wondering how long this case was going to take.

****

When Olivia and Elliot arrived back Fin and Munch were looking over the autopsy report for Hannah Coldwell. Cragen spotted the two detectives coming in through his window and rushed over because he wanted this case solved as soon as possible.

"So what have we got?" he asked.

"Ok so we know that Sammy and Carrie weren't the killers but they sure knew who it was, this conversation was done via Skype just after Elliot and I left the Lloyd residency after talking t Carrie, then at twelve fifteen Carrie had this conversation with the killer, we're know she's female and her name begins with the letter A." Olivia explained.

"She also wears glasses with pink leopard print on the arms." Elliot chipped in.

"The last message was sent at twelve thirty eight, please tell me you have a time of death..."Olivia and Elliot both turned to Fin and Munch and they both smirked because they indeed had a time of death for Carrie Lloyd.

"She died at one twenty according to Warner." Munch replied.

"Ok so she died forty minutes after talking with Hannah's killer on Skype, we certain it was the same person?" Cragen asked.

"Well cause of death was different, Carrie was bashed in the head with an object which probably knocked her out but COD was asphyxiation."

"She was strangled?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah and Sammy Troy was stabbed and CSU found that one of the knifes from the block at Carrie's house was missing." Fin explained further.

"I'd say we're looking for the same perp and she's a scared teenage girl who wouldn't have a signature, she didn't plan to kill any of these girls." Olivia sighed, cases like this always got to her.

"Ok why don't the lot of you go home, tomorrow Olivia and Elliot you can go to the girls school and see what they can give you on the girls who attended the party." Cragen sighed.

"Yes Cap'n." Olivia smiled, she was excited to see her children.

"Then Munch and Fin you'll be able to get the final result from Warner and CSU." Cragen added before stalking off to his office, he was going to get some more paper work done before he went anywhere.

****

**Ha so many of you thought both Sammy and Carrie killed Hannah but you were wrong! Mwahahaha!**

**Up next Olivia and Elliot have some family time trying to stop thinking of the case and focus on their own little girls, how does Olivia manage?**


	52. Chapter 52

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**6.21 pm**

"We're home!" Olivia called as she and Elliot walked through the door.

As soon as the door shut they could hear Melissa's footsteps running from her bedroom.

"Don't run on the stairs!" Olivia yelled as she saw Melissa on the top of the stairs.

Melissa obeyed but as soon as she was at the bottom she dove into Olivia's arms and held her tight. She loved it when Olivia and Elliot arrived home from work but as Olivia had been on maternity leave she'd been used to having Olivia pick her up from school and help her with her homework and make her dinner, this was the first time in four months that she hadn't.

"Your father not with you Olivia?" Anne asked as she walked into the hallway holding a very bouncing baby.

"No, he's doing paperwork ... come to Momma baby." Olivia cooed to Nicole who bounced harder and giggled on Anne's hip before being passed to Olivia who planted a large kiss on her cheek making her giggle more.

"Did Momma's little baba have a good day?" She continued as she tickled Nicole's stomach and Melissa greeted Elliot.

Olivia pressed her cheek to Nicole, it only lasted seconds the embrace as Nicole was too fidgety.

"Right go give daddy cuddles while Momma takes her coat off." Olivia smiled handing the happy baby over to Elliot.

"Hey Nikki, did you be good for Granny?" He cooed as he greeted his daughter.

"Well I'll put on the coffee and you two can sit down and have something to eat I'm sure you haven't eaten all day your father called and said you might not have made it home tonight." Anne smiled going through to the kitchen.

Olivia and Elliot both followed her through with the kids. As they asked Melissa about her day and played with Nicole, Anne cooked them up some food. It had been a long day and Olivia couldn't help but begin to wonder about what things would have been like on a day like this had she not had Melissa, Nicole and Elliot to keep her from thinking about what they had seen that day, the poor teenage girls now dead and their killer still on the loose.

Just before Anne finished making dinner for them Don Cragen arrived home with heavy shoulders, Olivia and Elliot knew it was work related and he shifted his head towards the living room and they knew it was something that couldn't wait.

"Baby Mommy and Daddy's going to talk to Granddad, you stay here with Granny." Olivia sighed placing Melissa on the chair beside her.

"Ok." Melissa sighed knowing it would be work related.

The three adults went through to the living room and shut the door behind them.

"Well?" Elliot asked sitting on the couch.

Olivia sat down beside him and Cragen sat on the couch opposite.

"A fourth victim." He sighed.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other then back at Cragen.

"Why didn't you call?" Olivia asked in shock.

"Munch and Fin are on the scene with Warner and CSU I thought you could come home have something to eat and put the kids to bed before coming back in." Cragen explained and he pulled two manila files from inside his coat and handed them to the detectives.

"Cassandra May Lee age sixteen." Olivia read aloud. "Found in an alley on West 79th street ... wait same alley as Hannah Coldwell?"

"Exact same one." Cragen nodded. "Warner said blunt force trauma by having her head bashed into the wall."

"Exact same way." Elliot sighed. "So we need to find the killer."

"Yeah, the brass wants us to find the person responsible and have given us twenty four hours before they start passing the buck so tell me so far what do we know?"

"Well the killer's name begins with the letter A, she was probably at the party last night ... hold on..." Olivia flicked through the jacket and pulled out the invite list.

"What?" Elliot asked.

"The guest list is in alphabetical order according to first names, the killer is either ... Abigail Salford, Amber Richards, Amelia Kelly, Andrew Hotchkiss, Anthony Becker or Ashleigh Torres. We know it can't be Andrew or Anthony because they're male and so it leaves us with Abigail, Amber, Amelia or Ashleigh." Olivia explained as she looked over the list one more time.

"Ok I'll call Munch and Fin and tell them to see if any of those names have a record and see if we can track any of them down before morning." Cragen replied just as there was a soft knock on the living room door followed by Anne's head poking around the corner.

"Dinner's ready guys." She smiled.

"We'll be through now." Cragen replied knowing as soon as they had eaten and put the kids to bed they'd have to go to the one six.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**8.42 pm**

Munch and Fin were the only two people in the dark squad room with most having called it a night hours ago. Olivia and Elliot headed over to them and the crime board were they were looking at the newest victim.

"Ok so do any of our girls have a record?" Olivia asked wanting to close this case before they had any more bodies.

"Yeah just one Amber Richards for theft." Munch replied handing her the mug shot photograph.

"Well she isn't our perp." Olivia sighed making them all turn to look at her.

"How can you tell? Psychic?" Fin asked, he was always moody when he was tired.

"No." Olivia replied angrily. "The woman at the coffee shop said our perp was brunette."

"Ok Olivia and Elliot go see this girl and find out if she knows who our killer is, Munch and Fin wait to hear from Warner, if you need me I'll be on the phone with the brass in my office." Cragen told them before marching off.

Olivia and Elliot bode goodbye for now to their co-workers and headed off to the address they'd been given.

****

**West end Avenue, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**9.04 pm**

"Hi we're looking for Amber Richards." Olivia said as she and Elliot both showed their shields to the man in the door.

"Come in detectives." He sighed. "Amber! Can you come down here?" He yelled from the bottom of the stairs before showing the detectives through to the living room.

They weren't waiting long for the tall and thin red head to come bouncing into the living room.

"Amber we're detectives from Manhattan's Special Victims Unit and we'd like to ask you some questions." Olivia explained.

"What did you do now?" The man snapped.

"I didn't do anything Dad!" Amber replied fearfully.

"She hasn't to our knowledge sir we just have some questions for her." Elliot informed him making the man sit down and shut up.

"Ok Amber do you go to school with these girls?" Olivia asked handing her the school photographs of the victims.

"Yeah, all of them." Amber replied handing the photographs back to the detectives. "Is this about their murders?" She asked.

"It is." Olivia nodded. "Now can you tell me anything about these girls?" Olivia asked handing over the list of names beginning with A.

"I know them all, what do you want to know?" Amber replied.

"Can you tell us what they look like and maybe where they live?" Olivia asked as Elliot flicked open his tiny detectives notebook to write down the information Amber gave them.

"Well Abi, she's got brown hair, brown eyes and wears glasses, she lives over on Amsterdam, then Amelia is also brunette, blue eyes, wears glasses and she lives over on West 89th Street. Ashleigh is blonde haired, green eyed and lives over on West 80th Street." Amber replied handing back the list of names as she spoke.

"Ok thank you Amber." Olivia replied knowing that they had narrowed down the suspect list to two.

"You're welcome, I hope you find the girls killer, school's never going to be the same without Hannah, Carrie and Sammy." Amber sighed the tears glistening in her eyes.

"You'll find out soon enough but a fourth body was found." Olivia said and Amber's eyes fixed on hers.

"Who?" She asked in shock.

"Cassandra Lee." Olivia replied and the tears spilled down Amber's face.

"Daddy!" She sobbed and her father wrapped his arms around his daughter.

"Cassie's Amber's best friends, they've known each other since kindergarten." He explained as Amber sobbed into her father's shoulder.

"Wait..." Amber said jumping to her feet and going over to the mantle. "Please..." She whispered pulling a photo from its frame. "When you find her killer, have this photo with you."

Olivia took the photo from Amber's shaking hands who quickly returned to her father's embrace as Olivia peered down on two smiling teenagers on a beach together.

"I will, thank you for all your help we'll see ourselves out." Olivia replied and she placed the photo in her pocket and gripped it tight, even if their perp was a sixteen year old girl they were still a monster in Olivia's eyes.

As soon as they were outside Elliot turned to Olivia and she just shrugged knowing he was going to ask where too next.

"Let's radio Cragen and tell him what we know and then go visit our first brunette." Olivia sighed.

****

**West 89****th**** Street, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**9.32 pm**

They arrived at the first brunette's house and knocked on the door. A brunette girl around sixteen answered with a gentle smile which Olivia found disturbing considering they were looking for a killer.

"Can I help you?" She asked her hand combing through her long brown locks.

"Yeah we're looking for Amelia Kelly." Elliot said as he and Olivia flashed their shields.

"That's me. Why would the police be looking for me?" She asked her eyes narrowing with fear but Olivia still couldn't get a read on whether this was their killer or not.

"Can we come inside?" Olivia asked.

"Of course." She nodded opening the door wider for the detectives.

Once they were all seated in the living room Olivia begun asking the questions.

"Amelia we were told you wore glasses." Olivia pointed out knowing that it would help if she was wearing them.

"I used to but I had laser eye surgery six months ago, I haven't worn glasses since then, why?"

"No reason just someone said you wore glasses." Olivia sighed a little knowing that this girl was probably not their killer.

"Ok, so where were you last night between ten pm and one am this morning?" Olivia asked.

"Ten pm? I was at Carrie Lloyd's party and I arrived home at eleven thirty pm breaking curfew which has landed me grounded for a week." Amelia replied.

"Ok that's all we needed to know." Olivia smiled gently knowing that Amelia's mother or father would confirm the alibi.

"Are you the detectives looking for Carrie, Sam and Hannah's killer?" Amelia asked weakly.

"We are." Olivia replied.

"I hope you find them soon, none of the parents are letting the girls out until they catch the guy." Amelia explained. "Those girls didn't deserve to die, they're the nicest people I've ever met."

"Thank you Amelia." Olivia smiled gently and gave the girls hand a gentle squeeze before leaving with Elliot.

"So Amsterdam?" Elliot asked.

"Amsterdam." Olivia nodded, she was fed up now and just wanted to go home to bed with her fiancé knowing there was one more killer off the streets but it didn't seem like that was going to happen tonight.

****

**Amsterdam Avenue, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**9.57 pm**

When Elliot and Olivia pulled up outside Abigail Salford's house they found three marked police cars which had both of them jumping out of the car and rushing to the officer stood outside.

"Benson, Stabler, SVU what's going on?" Elliot asked the young uniformed officer.

"Sixteen year old Abigail Salford is missing and considering there's someone out there killing sixteen year old girls brass wanted all the stops pulled out to find her." He explained.

"Ok can we go inside?" Olivia asked glancing nervously at Elliot, she was hoping that their suspect had not become a victim.

They went inside and found officers taking a statement from someone who was visibly Abigail's mother.

"Sorry to disturb you." Olivia told one officer who came out to the hallway.

"Benson and Stabler Manhattan SVU what's going on?" Elliot explained because he knew that they needed to find Abigail and fast.

"Abi Salford left for school this morning but she never made it there." The cop explained.

"Any leads?" Olivia asked.

"No, SVU is dealing with the murders right?" He asked nervously.

"Yeah the first was suspected to be a rape murder turned out it wasn't but we kept the case from homicide." Olivia explained. "Abigail Salford is our prime suspect."

"Well I'm sure you can tell now that she isn't."

"Of course not, she might be in hiding, you don't cross anyone off your list until evidence excludes them, I'm not surprised your still in uniform." Elliot hissed angrily, he hated rookie uniform cops who thought they knew better than two cops.

"Right, sorry, so what can I do for you?" He sighed not wanting to get into an argument with the detective.

"We need to search the bedroom, and I'm going to call in our co-workers to come give us a hand, this is SVU's case not missing persons." Olivia explained grabbing her radio and going out to call Cragen.

"Someone's cranky." The uniform muttered under his breath.

"My soon to be wife has just come back from maternity leave, she's missing our three month old baby and is working a very tiring and long case involving missing girls, of course she's cranky." Elliot spat he was at the verge of punching the uniformed officer who gave an apologetic look and nodded his head towards the living room for Elliot to go in.

"Hello Mrs Salford I'm Detective Stabler, have you got a recent picture of Abi that I could have please?" He asked knowing they needed it more than ever.

"Yeah, here you go." She replied handing a school photograph from the table.

And there was their prime suspect, brunette with leopard print glasses.

"Thank you, my co-workers will be here in a while to ask you some questions meanwhile may we have a look around Abi's room?" Elliot asked.

"Of course first door on the right." She sniffed.

Elliot called Olivia over and they headed upstairs to begin their search, unbeknown to the mother downstairs that they were looking for evidence that she was a murderer and not looking for information to help find her.

"Right, whatever we find we put back until we can get a warrant." Olivia hissed.

"Why we've got permission?" Elliot shrugged.

"Yeah to look for something that may find her not pin four murders on her." Olivia replied.

"If we find something that makes her our killer is exigent circumstances Liv we can use it." Elliot smirked.

"Ok." Olivia replied nodding, she wasn't so sure but she'd let Elliot deal with the consequences, they had permission to search the bedroom.

Both of the detectives pulled on latex gloves and started going around the bedroom looking for anything that would help them either with the murder or disappearance. It was a typical teenage girls bedroom with posters of the hottest teen celebrities and favourite bands and tv shows, the walls were bright purple and the furniture was white, the bedding was white, purple and gold and Olivia found herself liking the design of the bed spread.

"Liv..." Elliot called and Olivia rushed over to him to see what he'd found.

"That's blood." Olivia commented even though she knew Elliot already knew what it was.

"Yeah. We need to bag it and we need CSU down here crawling all over every inch of this room, call Cragen make sure we can actually take it." Elliot informed her just as Munch and Fin came into the room.

"What?" He asked seeing the two detectives coming in.

"There's been a sighting of Abi Salford." Fin explained.

"Then what are you doing here?" Elliot asked in shock.

"Missing persons are on it but they're going to deliver her straight ... hold on..." Fin answered the ringing cell phone just as Olivia came back into the room.

"Engaged and he isn't answering his cell." She explained.

"Captain?" Fin asked gaining everyone's attention. "Cap can you speak with me ... guys listen." He placed the phone on loud speaker and everyone listened.

"No! Don't you dare move!" A female voice echoed.

"What do you want? I can help if you speak with me." Cragen's voice filled the room and Olivia could hear the fear there.

"Shit!" She gasped. "We need to go back to the one six and call for back up!" She cried out rushing out of the room Elliot hot on her heels.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**10.42 pm**

Olivia's heart hammered inside her chest, she was debating in her head whether or not to call her Mother but then she didn't want to upset her without it being necessary. When they walked into the bullpen they could hear the echoing voice of the girl coming from Cragen's office. Both of them whipped out their guns and held them at arm's length as they rushed to the office and peered in through the blinds.

"She's got a knife." Elliot whispered.

"We need to go in. She's far enough away, we'll shoot before she gets to him." Olivia whispered back.

Elliot nodded in agreement and they both made their way slowly to the door. Olivia held the handle and took a deep nervous breath and waited for Elliot's nod.

She quickly threw the door handle so it sprung open.

"Drop your weapon!" She yelled her gun pointed at Abigail Salford.

"Don't come any closer!" Abigail screeched, Olivia could see that the young girl was terrified as she placed the knife at her own neck.

"Dad are you ok?" Olivia asked her eyes flicking to Cragen and then back to Abi where her gun was pointed.

"Yeah." He nodded his breath slowly slowing.

"Abigail, you don't want to do that sweetie, put the knife down." Olivia whispered gently, she knew she had to get the knife from her before anyone could move.

"No! I didn't mean to kill them! I didn't want to! They made me do it!" She wailed hysterically.

"Who made you do it Abi?" Olivia asked gently.

"The voices, the voices they're everywhere telling me to do things!" Abigail explained hurriedly.

"Ok what are they telling you to do now?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know they're all yelling inside my head!" Abi hiccupped.

Olivia glanced nervously at Cragen who looked terrified again from what Abi was saying.

"Ok Abi, we can help, we can get help to make the voices go away if you only put the knife down." Olivia pleaded.

"I can't do that. I killed people, I have to be punished!" She yelled.

Olivia watched as the knife began to dig into Abigail's neck and her hand twitch where she was going to drag it across and Olivia reacted by shooting one shot.

"Liv!" Elliot gasped as Abigail fell backwards against Cragen's desk.

Olivia fell to her knees as Cragen rushed to check Abigail.

"Call for a bus Elliot!" He yelled puling the scarf from Abi's neck and tying it around her upper thigh to try and stem the bleeding from Olivia's shot.

"Why did she shoot?" Abigail asked as she gripped onto Cragen as he placed her gently on the floor.

"To stop you from killing yourself, she'd just saved your life." He replied, he knew what Olivia did, he'd seen her move the gun down and shoot.

Olivia clutched around her waist as she tried to calm her breath, even though it was a clean shot to stop a kid who was hearing voices from killing herself it didn't make a difference to her as she'd just shot at a child, she had so many thoughts rushing through her mind about the possibility of missing and killing the kid.

"Liv come here." Elliot whispered pulling her into his arms just as the EMTs rushed in.

As soon as Cragen moved from Abigail he rushed over to Olivia's side peeling the gun from her hand and placing it on his desk before wrapping his arms around her. She wasn't crying, but her breath was ragged and her mind was in a frenzy.

"You're ok Olivia, you're ok." Cragen whispered rocking her gently in time with Elliot.

"I could have killed her ... I could have missed or ..."

"Shh don't think like that Olivia, come on it was a clean shoot." Cragen whispered into her ear before dropping a light kiss onto her cheek hoping to calm her down a little.

"It wasn't ... she wouldn't have killed herself would she? I mean ... oh my God I shot a teenager ... oh my ..." Olivia's breath began to quicken and suddenly the tears were dripping down her face and her breath was a small gasp.

"Liv... Olivia ... Liv come on talk to me." Elliot pleaded just before she went limp in his arms.

"Someone help us!" Cragen yelled and Munch, Fin and Huang rushed into the room.

"What happened before she passed out?" Huang asked flashing his light into Olivia's eyes.

"She was sobbing and she couldn't breathe." Elliot replied his eyes reflecting the panic he was feeling.

"Ok I think she'd had a panic attack." Huang explained as he took her pulse. "Can you lay her down flat?"

Cragen and Elliot lay Olivia down flat on her back and Huang then quickly placed her in the recovery position.

"What happened? Why did Liv panic?" Fin asked him and Munch didn't know exactly who had shot and why.

"She was worrying about Abigail, I think she felt guilty and panicked because she was mumbling about nearly killing her asking what would have happened if she'd missed." Elliot explained, his voice weak.

"Liv shot?" Munch asked in shock, he'd expected it to be Elliot.

"Yeah, Abigail was stood with a knife to her throat and she started dragging the knife really slowly and so Olivia shot her in the leg." Cragen explained knowing that the detectives had to hear the full story so they knew it was a clean shot.

"She's coming round." Huang informed them as Olivia's eyes began to twitch.

"What happened?" She croaked weakly her head rolling so she was looking up at everyone.

"You had a panic attack Liv you're just fine." Huang reassured.

"Where am I?" She asked her eyes were barely open.

"Cragen's office." Huang replied.

"Why doesn't she know where she is?" Elliot asked the panic rising again.

"It's normal, she's a little disorientated just give her a minute and she'll remember everything." Huang explained hoping to calm Elliot down.

"Did I really shoot that girl or was I dreaming?" She asked her eyes still closed.

"It really happened Liv." Cragen replied softly as he stroked her hair out of her face.

"Why did I do it?" She asked sitting upright slowly with Huang and Elliot's help.

"To save her life Olivia." Cragen told her firmly.

"Was it really a clean shoot Dad?" She asked taking Cragen's hand in her own her voice quivering.

"Yes." He replied giving it a gentle squeeze. "You're fine Liv, IAB might have a few questions but you don't need any time off, you didn't kill anyone and it was a clean shoot."

"Ok." Olivia nodded. "Can we go home now?"

"Yeah, we can deal with everything tomorrow." Cragen replied wrapping her up in an embrace which she quickly returned, needing to feel something other than the guilt she thought would eat her up eventually.

****

**Next Chapter Olivia and Cragen have a beautiful daddy daughter moment, then Olivia answers to IAB and she and Elliot find out exactly why Abigail was in Cragen's office!**


	53. Chapter 53

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, April 4th 2009**

**2.11 am**

Olivia sat in the kitchen playing with an empty wine glass. The house was quiet, everyone was sleeping but her. She'd come down as soon as she knew Elliot had fallen asleep and she'd grabbed the wine bottle and glass and placed them on the table in front of her. She hadn't touched a drop of it. The reason for that being she knew Cragen would lose it because even though he didn't stop anyone from drinking he despised any of them touching a drop because it had been a 'tough day' especially drinking alone at night.

"Can't sleep?" Cragen's voice carried from the open doorway.

"No." She replied turning momentarily to face him before turning back to the empty glass she was playing with.

"Liv..." He sighed seeing the bottle.

"I haven't touched it." She whispered as he came to sit beside her, pulling his robe tighter around him.

"Oh." He replied. "That's good."

"Doesn't stop me wanting to." She added.

"Now you're not alone you can have one, there's someone to stop you having more than one and drowning your sorrows." He smiled gently opening the wine bottle and taking the glass from her hands.

"I've just been sat here debating having one for the past hour." She laughed gently as he passed her a half full wine glass before closing the bottle and taking it to the cupboard.

"It shows how strong you are that you managed to sit for an hour without having one Liv, you've seen what that stuff can do first hand." He replied coming back to the seat beside her.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I don't think about her anymore though."

"What do you mean?" He asked gently knowing this was going to be a sensitive conversation for both of them.

"My Mom, my real Mom, I don't think about her anymore, I did take Nicole to her grave when she was born, just because I thought it was the right thing to do but now when I think of my Mom I think of Anne, when I think of my Dad I think of you, I barely ever think of my biological parents anymore." She explained.

"Why do you think that is Olivia?" He probed.

"I don't know, I really don't. But I do know that now I have you both I'm terrified of losing you." She explained a tear slipping down her cheek and she made no attempt to stop it.

"You're not going to lose us Liv." He told her his thumb wiping the tear from her face gently.

"I almost did lose you today, or yesterday I mean it's gone midnight." She chuckled lightly. "I know that the shot was clean and Abigail is alive but ..." She bowed her head, she actually felt ashamed of what had really been going through her mind.

"What is it Liv?" He asked knowing that if she bottled this up it would eat away at her.

"I wasn't scared that she'd kill herself." Olivia whimpered.

"I don't understand." He replied gently as he took her free hand in his own and she took a deep gulp of the wine.

"I was ... I could see her killing you and that's ... that's what was going through my mind when I shot." Olivia explained the tears spilling down her face.

"Livia..." He whispered pulling the wine glass from her hand before pulling her into his arms so she could sob silently into his shoulder.

"That doesn't make you any less of a person or human being, you didn't shoot to kill by shooting her in the leg, you saved her life Olivia." He whispered.

"If she'd have been holding that knife to you still I don't think I would have been able to just shoot her in the leg though..." She cried.

"Yes you would have, I know you Olivia, you'd never hurt anyone unless you had to." Cragen told her firmly as he held her tight, he knew she was going to struggle with dealing with the shooting and he knew all he could do was be there for her.

"I shot a sixteen year old." She cried. "I shot a sixteen year old because I was scared of her killing my Dad."

"I know, but that's ok, sometimes it's ok to be selfish because in the process of being selfish you saved her life." Cragen tried to reason, he was desperate to make her understand that she did nothing wrong.

"I know, I know that but I can't help but feel guilty because she wasn't the person I was trying to save." She explained pulling out of his arms and wiping her tears on the sleeve of her robe. "But she's someone's little girl..."

"And so were the four girls she killed too. She's not just a kid she's a murderer." Cragen replied firmly.

"I..." Olivia's mouth snapped shut, she'd completely forgotten about that.

"Now you don't feel as bad do you. Don't forget that you shot a killer to stop her from killing herself." Cragen said firmly.

"So, that makes what I did ok?" She asked knowing it wasn't.

"No. What you did was ok but not because you shot a killer, but because you stopped a sixteen year old girl from committing suicide because voices in her head told her too." Cragen replied firmly.

"Ok." Olivia nodded. "Still doesn't stop how guilty I feel."

"Why don't you and I take an early morning field trip?" Cragen asked.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"Go throw on some clothes and meet me down here in ten minutes." He told her grabbing the still half full wine glass and going to the sink. "Go." He said firmly and Olivia nodded and headed off upstairs.

Ten minutes later she was in the hallway pulling on her shoes when Cragen joined her, he was in a shirt and trousers he'd pulled on while she'd pulled on a pair of slacks and one of Elliot's hoodies.

"We should be back before anyone is up but I've written a note just in case." He told her quietly.

"Ok, so where are we going at nearly three in the morning?" She asked as he past her coat over.

"Just wait and see." He smirked, she wasn't in the mood for games but knew not to ask again.

****

**Mercy General, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 3rd 2009**

**3.27 am**

"Ok what are we doing here?" Olivia asked as they pulled up outside the hospital, it was now half three and she was feeling the effects of the long day they'd had.

"Something I thought you should see." He replied climbing out of the car. "You coming?" He asked seeing that she hadn't moved.

She gave a weak nod and slowly climbed out the car, her mind wondering what on earth they could be doing at Mercy General at this time of the morning. Silently she slipped her arm into his as they walked through the bitter cold night air into the hospital.

Cragen walked to the desk and flashed his Captain's shield, Olivia decided to do the same with her Detective one and slipped her arm from Cragen's knowing that if he was showing his shield he was doing something work related.

"I'm looking for Abigail Salford." He told her and realisation dawned on Olivia.

"Third floor room six oh eight." The nurse smiled and Olivia hesitated only momentarily before following Cragen towards the elevators.

They kept silent the whole way up and when they arrived room 608 Olivia just peered in at the girl who seemed wide awake and alert.

"Why don't you go in?" Cragen suggested.

"I can't." Olivia replied sighing heavily, it wasn't that she didn't want to but she didn't know what to say to the girl.

"Olivia she's medicated now, I'm sure if you go in and say hello she may even talk to you, this is all off the record, nothing she says to you can be used in court, just talk to her." He pressed and she nodded before grabbing the door handle.

"You'll be right here?" She asked shakily, hating being so dependant.

"Right here." He nodded.

She gave him one last nervous glance before going into the room and shutting the door behind her. When she turned around Abigail's eyes were fixed on her. She gave a polite nod and walked towards the bed seeing instantly that the teenager was cuffed and couldn't move even if she wanted too.

"Hey." Abigail smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, I was told not to say anything to the police without a lawyer."

"Don't worry, I'm not here as a police officer, nothing you say can be used against you or in court." Olivia explained. "So how are you?"

"Better, they put me on some drugs now and the voices have gone." She smiled and Olivia could see genuine happiness emulating from her eyes.

"How's the pain?" She asked nodding towards the leg.

"Not too bad, I guess I should say thank you, you know, for saving my life." She explained reaching her free hand out towards Olivia.

Olivia smiled gently and took her hand knowing that this girl might have been a killer but she was still a sixteen year old girl who was now probably more scared than she'd have ever been.

"I shouldn't have shot you." Olivia whispered as she stroked Abigail's hand gently.

"And if you hadn't I'd be dead." Abigail whispered. "Now I'm getting the help I should have gotten a long time ago, then, maybe, everything that happened... might not have happened." She whispered getting teary eyed.

"Well hopefully now you'll get better." Olivia replied, she did find it tough to sympathise with a murderer, her guilt was now fading at the realisation that this sixteen year old was going to be alright thanks to her but the four girls she killed flooded Olivia's mind and she placed Abi's hand down gently.

"I'm sorry." Olivia whispered before rushing out the door into Cragen's waiting arms.

"Ok?" He asked rubbing her back.

"Yeah, I just realised that she killed four people, regardless of what I did." Olivia explained. "She's fine, she's happy sort of but those four girls aren't."

"Ok, come on let's go home and get some sleep." Cragen whispered gently pushing her back to lead her away, Olivia didn't resist.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Monday, April 4th 2009**

**11.21 am**

Olivia sat typing up her case file from the previous day, that afternoon Abigail Salford would be at the one six to answer questions and apparently she'd be signing a deal with the DA's office pleading down to four counts manslaughter in the first on the condition she'd serve her sentence out in a psychiatric unit. At one pm Olivia had to sit down with Ed Tucker and answer questions about the shooting and somehow prove it had been clean even though she wasn't so sure herself.

"Liv!" Cragen called from his office door.

Olivia knew he wanted her to talk to him before going to one police plaza and so she slowly locked her computer and dragged her feet.

"Take a seat Liv." He told her nodding his head towards the empty chairs in front of his desk.

Olivia sat down as he clasped his hands together on the top of the desk.

"What is it Cap?" She asked knowing that right now she was talking to her superior officer and not her father.

"Ed Tucker wants to question myself and Elliot too." He explained.

"Why? I'm the one who shot." Olivia sighed knowing exactly why, Ed Tucker didn't think the shot was clean.

"Because he thinks our family connection has clouded my judgement and that if he questions us separately he can determine whether or not it was a good shot." Cragen replied gently.

"And?" Olivia asked desperately.

"There's nothing to worry about Olivia, just tell him the truth." Cragen replied and she nodded before heading out, she didn't want to be sat around doing nothing anymore.

****

**One Police Plaza, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, April 4th 2009**

**1.02 pm**

Olivia sat upright in the uncomfortable chair in the interview room. Her heart was hammering hard inside her constricted chest, her breath was shallow and her palms sweat as she clasped them together trying to hide her emotions. A microphone in front of her would capture every word out of her mouth and she knew it would be played over and over again until a decision was made by the lean man pacing carefully in front of her, trying to intimidate her.

"Detective Benson I believe you understand why you're here?" He asked coming to a stop at the opposite end of the table to where she was sitting and glaring at her.

"I do." She nodded.

He leaned over and knocked the record button and Olivia swallowed hard knowing now she had to begin answering questions honestly and openly if she was going to prove that she did nothing wrong when she shot Abigail Salford.

"Interview begins at one oh six pm on Tuesday April the fourth by Lieutenant Edward Tucker of the Internal Affairs Bureau with Detective Olivia Benson Senior Detective with Manhattan's Special Victims Unit." He explained out loud for it to be on record. "Now Detective Benson, can you please describe in detail what happened when Detective Odafin Tutuola answered the phone at the Salford Residence up until after you fired your weapon."

"I had stepped outside of the bedroom we were searching with permission of the homeowner to call Captain Cragen. When I came back into the room Detective Tutuola, Detective Munch and Detective Stabler were gathered around listening to the loudspeaker on the phone, Detective Tutuola said it was Captain Cragen, there were two voices, the Captain's and an unidentifiable female." Olivia explained as calmly as she could, her voice masking her fear and anxieties well. "Myself and Detective Stabler hurried off knowing Captain Cragen was at the one six precinct, I told Detectives Munch and Tutuola to call for back up and follow us. When we arrived at the one six Detective Stabler and I withdrew our weapons and approached the Captain's office where we could see and hear movement, we saw Abigail Salford holding a knife towards Captain Cragen, we could see she was far enough away for us to safely enter the room and that's what we did. We aimed our weapons at the girl and I asked her to drop her weapon, she didn't but proceeded to place the knife at her neck, I tried to talk her down, she told me she could hear voices telling her to kill and that they were now shouting in her head when she dug the knife deeper into her neck and slowly began sliding I lowered my weapon and shot her in the upper thigh making her drop her weapon." Olivia explained coldly.

Ed Tucker who had been pacing again while listening continued to pace as he asked follow up questions.

"Why do you think Captain Don Cragen called Detective Tutuola and not yourself or Detective Stabler?" He proceeded to asked making Olivia ask herself the same question, the thought hadn't occurred to her before.

"I don't know, you'll have to ask him that." Olivia shrugged.

"Nothing to do with the fact he didn't want his daughter running to his rescue?"

"I already answered." She spat knowing now where he was going and feeling relieved that Cragen had told her he was going to drag up their family issues.

"Do you think it's fair to say you reacted as a daughter when that call came in rather than a detective?"

"No." Olivia replied firmly even though that wasn't the whole truth, when she heard that call her detective instincts kicked in because her father was in trouble but she knew she couldn't tell Ed Tucker that.

"Are you sure?" He asked leaning in to her from the other end of the table.

"I'm sure." She replied also leaning forward her eyes firmly on his trying to show he wasn't getting a one up on her.

"Were you aware that Detective Tutuola's police issued cell phone was recording at the time he answered the call from his superior?" Ed Tucker asked pulling out a small tape player from the seat Olivia had expected him to occupy for this interview.

"Of course, all police issued cell phones do, it's why people like to have two." Olivia explained.

"Do you have two?" Tucker asked an eyebrow raised in surprise at her answer.

"Not that it's any of your business, no I don't, I have nothing to hide." Olivia said firmly, she'd contemplated it but decided against it, the only way they tapes would ever be listened to was if she was involved in a crime of some sort.

"Ok, well I have something I would like you to listen to." Tucker explained before pressing play on the tape player and voices called out across the room.

_"Drop your weapon!" _

_"Don't come any closer!" _

_"Dad are you ok?" _

_"Yeah." _

Ed Tucker paused the recording and looked back at Olivia.

"Are you sure you weren't reacting like a daughter?" He asked a smug smile playing on his lips making Olivia feel like hitting him.

"I'm sure I wasn't reacting like a daughter, calling him Dad doesn't reflect my thoughts, I was behaving and reacting like a Detective, my only concern was the girl and making sure he wasn't hurt in any way, my conduct isn't reflected by my words. I wanted to make sure my superior officer who happens to be my adoptive father was alright, I called him Dad, if you'd asked me did I refer to him as Dad or Captain I wouldn't have denied calling him Dad but again that doesn't reflect anything I did and the rest of that tape proves I was thinking clearly."

"Were you thinking clearly when you fired your weapon?"

"I wanted to make sure a sixteen year old girl who had obvious signs of mental distress and psychosis didn't end up in the morgue." Olivia replied angrily.

"What made you shoot in the leg?" He asked.

"I shot to disarm not to kill." Olivia explained. "Shooting her in the thigh caused her to stumble and drop the knife. If I shot in the foot which I had contemplated it would have hurt like a bitch but she may not have dropped the weapon and then she could have still ended up dead."

"Ok, I have one last question for you Detective Benson."

"Ok." Olivia nodded.

"Do you think Detective Stabler and Captain Cragen would lie for you because you're their family?"

"Never." She replied firmly.

"Interview terminated at one thirty five pm." He sighed switching off the tape before Olivia hurried out to find Elliot waiting.

"Well?" He asked.

"Piece of cake." She shrugged before walking away both of them knowing that one police plaza was the last place they should be showing public displays of affection.

Elliot watched her go, he could tell that her words had been a lie and seeing her hunched shoulders just added to his concern. He himself had never liked Ed Tucker, he'd always had the lieutenant up his backside for something or other and both men knew that they rubbed each other the wrong way.

"Detective Stabler?" Tucker called as he held the door open for the Detective who clearly towered over him and not that he'd admit it to anyone, he was intimidated by.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, April 4th 2009**

**4.36 pm**

Olivia sat at her desk her knees bouncing in anticipation, she'd had a text from Elliot to say he was done and that he was waiting for Cragen so they could ride back together. She'd been a nervous wreck all day and until she heard back from Ed Tucker she'd still be a nervous wreck, right now all she wanted was to see the two most important men in her life and find out how things had gone for them.

She didn't have to wait long as the two men walked into the precinct. She jumped to her feet the anticipation almost spilling over as Elliot rushed over and wrapped his arms tight around her and Cragen gave her a reassuring smile.

"Well?" She asked.

"You've been cleared, once he heard from me that I saw you purposely lower your weapon as she started pulling the knife across her throat he realised he didn't have a case." Cragen smiled.

Olivia squealed excitedly as she wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck he in turn picking her up from the floor knowing that the stress had been too much to deal with.

"Now there is only the matter of Abigail coming in at six to give her statement and confession then this is case closed." Cragen added before going off to his office leaving the two detectives to be with each other.

****

**Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York**

**Tuesday, April 4th 2009**

**6.02 pm**

"Are you sure you don't want to be in there?" Cragen asked as Olivia leant against the window ledge.

"Yeah, I think it's better for both me and Abigail that I'm not." Olivia replied shakily, Elliot and Alex Cabot sat with Abigail, her mother and their lawyer as she began to explain everything that had happened from start to end on the condition she was to severe four counts of Manslaughter one to be served in a facility for the mentally handicapped.

"Ok Abigail start from what happened at the party." Alex said and the girl looked nervously at her mother and then at the lawyer for confirmation before she said anything.

"I'd been dancing with Jed Roper all night, but then he disappeared with Hannah Coldwell, I told Carrie Lloyd that Hannah and Jed had gone upstairs and she got really angry calling Hannah a whore and that's when the voices in my head started to turn on Hannah."

"Ok so how did you end up with Hannah in the alleyway?" Alex asked needing a full confession.

"I left the party and headed for home but the voices in my head were so strong just telling me I had to do something. I stopped on the bench for some alone time wanting to clear my head you know and that's when I saw Hannah walking down the street with Sammy and Carrie hot on her heels. I stopped them and Carrie explained that Hannah was really drunk and was in no fit shape to get herself home so I offered to do it. They'd barely turned their backs when I ..." The tears stung the teenagers eyes as she thought of what she had done.

"When you what?" Alex asked, she didn't feel anything for the girl sobbing in front of her, she just wanted this confession out of the way.

"When I bashed her head into the wall." She explained. "I bashed it and bashed it over and over again until she wasn't moving anymore."

"Then?"

"Sammy and Carrie were screaming at me and I told them they had to help me and I pleaded with them and then I threatened them and said they were next if they didn't help me so they did, they helped me put Hannah in the dumpster." She explained hysterically.

Olivia had heard enough, she knew how the rest of it would go but she had needed to know what had led up to the first death, the rest of it she didn't need to know and didn't need to think about.

"Ok?" Cragen asked seeing her walking off.

"Yeah. Yeah I am now." She nodded giving him a weak smile, she was exhausted and just wanted to get some sleep, she'd barely slept a wink the previous night.

****

**OK SO ONLY 2 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO AND THEN I HAVE A SEQUEL IN THE WORKS BUT NOT UNTIL I HAVE FINISHED EVERY STORY I'VE GOT STARTED, I ALSO WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I AM AWAY FOR THREE DAYS WITHOUT A COMPUTER SO THERE WILL BE NO UPDATES AFTER I LEAVE AND I ALSO HAVE A HECTIC 2 WEEKS AND WON'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO WRITE, I PROMISE I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT ANY STORY, IT'S JUST TOUGH TO WRITE WHEN I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS OR NOT ENOUGH ABOUT ONE PATICULAR STORY GOING AROUND AND AROUND IN MY HEAD!**

**3 SteffieDawn 3**


	54. Chapter 54

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, April 17th 2009**

**6.24 am**

Olivia lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling as she listened to Elliot's even breath beside her. A small smile played on her lips, a combination of excitement and nerves flooded through her veins because tomorrow, she was getting married to the man of her dreams. She rolled over to face him and began to gently stroke his chest, slowly waking him from the sweet dream he'd been having.

"Hey baby." He smiled as his head turned to face her.

"Morning." She smiled happily.

"Are you ok?" He asked as she shifted so her head lay on his chest and he absentmindedly began to play with her brunette locks.

"I'm perfect." She replied. "Are you ok?"

"Perfect." He replied before dropping a light kiss on her head.

The bedroom door swung open and Olivia let out a gentle laugh as Melissa pounded into the bedroom and dove onto the bed.

"Get in here." Olivia smiled peeling back the duvet so Melissa could climb in.

A small cry echoed through the baby monitor and Olivia realised that her whole family would be awake now, Nicole's cry seemed to wake Don and Anne too.

"I'll go." Elliot smiled climbing out of bed to go and get their youngest from her crib so she could join them.

"Mommy..." Melissa started as she pulled her hair out of her face.

"Yeah baby?" Olivia asked as she spooned her daughter.

"You and Uncle El are getting married tomorrow." She smiled.

Olivia let out a gentle laugh at the thought, yes she was, she was getting married to Elliot tomorrow and everyone knew about it.

"Yeah baby, are you ok with that?" Olivia asked hoping to God she wouldn't say know.

"I'm super excited!" Melly replied as Elliot came in with a wailing Nicole and a bottle of formula.

"Me too baby." Olivia replied as she pushed to sitting so she could feed her youngest daughter.

"Go to Momma baby." Elliot cooed as he slowly handed Nicole over to Olivia's waiting arms followed by the room temperature formula milk that she quickly gave the screaming baby quietening her instantly.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, April 17th 2009**

**8.14 am**

Everyone was in the kitchen having breakfast, Melissa was talking to Elliot about her latest school project, Nicole was in her bouncer between Olivia and Cragen and Anne was busy keeping her own nerves at bay by making cookies.

"How are you feeling?" Don asked Olivia who was playing with the toast crust her mind somewhere else.

"Excited and nervous." Olivia replied giving him a gentle smile.

"I bet." He grinned.

"It's going to be so weird not sleeping here beside him tonight." Olivia sighed, she would be sleeping in Anne's house as would Melly, Nicole, Alex, Casey and Melinda, Anne and Don, Maureen, Kathleen, and Lizzie while Elliot, Munch, Fin and Dickie would be sleeping at this house.

"Just think, tomorrow you're going to be Cragen-Stabler." He smiled and she grinned at him.

"Cragen-Stabler, now that's going to take some getting used to having been Benson for all my life and career." Olivia smiled, it might have been difficult but she wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Have you decided which one you're going to use?" Cragen asked her and she smiled and nodded.

"Elliot's my partner, Stabler and Stabler doesn't quite sound right." She explained.

Cragen just grinned, now he was ecstatic.

"Detective Cragen the second." He winked making her laugh loudly and catch the attention of everyone round the table.

"Come on you, we need to get you dressed." Olivia said turning to Nicole to hide the scarlet blush on her cheeks.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, April 17th 2009**

**1.56 pm**

"You're still here?" Munch asked in disbelief as he walked into the living room closely followed by Fin carrying two six packs of beer.

"Yes and I hope you're not going to try and make my fiancé pissed!" She warned.

"No, we won't!" Fin replied firmly. "But that doesn't mean Munch and me have to stay sober!"

Olivia threw a cushion at him and caught him square on the head.

"So when will the bride be leaving us?" Munch asked because they had lots of stuff to do to annoy Elliot between now and the wedding and he didn't want to miss a moment of it.

"As soon as Cragen and Mom are ready." She smiled hearing their footsteps on the stairs.

"I'm going to miss you." Elliot whispered pulling her closed into him and dropping light kisses all over her head.

"I'm not going to be far El, and tomorrow we're getting married!" She beamed.

"I know, but one whole night without you is going to be tough!" He replied squeezing her shoulders gently.

"Yeah it is but think about the hot passionate sex we can have tomorrow night." She whispered seductively but Munch and Fin's laughter proved she hadn't been as quiet as she thought making her cheeks flush scarlet once again.

"Hot passionate sex we can have tomorrow night." Fin mimicked.

"I hope not! One couple in the office is bad enough!" Cragen chortled making the whole room burst with a fit of laughter.

"Right Olivia are you ready to go?" Anne asked.

Olivia took a deep breath and turned to look at Elliot, he pulled her into his arms and locked their lips together in a deep passionate kiss making Munch and Fin both wolf whistle will Don and Anne looked away.

"I'm gonna miss you." He whispered.

"I'm gonna miss you too." She replied a tear twinkling in her eye.

"Don't cry baby, think about how amazing it's going to be when I next see you and you'll become Mrs Cragen-Stabler?" He beamed.

"I know, we're going to be Mr and Mrs Cragen-Stabler in less than twenty four hours!" She giggled nervously, Elliot hadn't told Munch and Fin he would be taking the hyphened name yet and they hadn't even be told that Olivia would be dropping Benson completely.

"So do we have to call you both Stabler?" Fin asked in shock.

"No ... uh ... I'm going to be using Cragen at work." Olivia explained glancing nervously at Don who smiled happily.

"Ok I thought two Stabler's would be bad but I don't know what to make of having two Cragen's one Detective and one Captain that's going to be tough to get used to!" Munch laughed.

"Yeah but you will soon enough." Olivia replied as Anne handed a giggling Nicole over to her.

"Right come on we should be going." Don smiled picking up his and Anne's overnight bag.

She walked over to Munch and Fin to give them a hug, Fin held her for a few seconds and whispered in her ear.

"Tomorrow is going to be perfect, don't worry." He told her.

"Just make sure he gets to the Church on time." She laughed softly.

"Promise." He replied and then after one more gentle kiss with Elliot they left.

****

**Jefferson residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, April 17th 2009**

**6.32 pm**

Olivia looked around at all the women and Cragen who were in the room, she couldn't believe how happy and at peace she felt and everyone else seemed happy too. They (much to Anne's disgust) had ordered in pizza and they were now all watching a movie together, after the kids would go to bed and Cragen would go over to the men for a few hours was when the fun would begin, even though Olivia didn't know that yet.

She glanced over at Alex and Casey who were both snuggled up with Nicole and she looked down at Melissa who had an arm wrapped around Melinda, Maureen, Kathleen and Lizzie were sat on cushions on the floor and they all seemed to be wrapped up in the movie, she was the only one who's mind wasn't on the Disney flick chosen specifically by Melissa.

"Ok?" Cragen asked taking her hand.

"Yeah." She nodded giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Everything's going to be fine Liv, I know you're nervous but that's normal." He whispered hoping no one could hear him, he didn't know Anne was listening to every word.

"I'm just overwhelmed." Olivia replied.

"Why?" He asked.

"I've got everything I've ever wanted Dad, I've got a family, two loving parents, a loving soon to be husband and two amazing children and four step children, I couldn't ask for anymore than this." She explained the tears stinging her eyes.

"You didn't even ask for this Olivia, good things happen to good people, you my darling beautiful daughter are a very good person with a heart of gold and a soul to match, I'm so proud to have you in my life." He whispered and tears stung their eyes, unbeknown to them everyone apart from Lizzie, Melly and Nicole also had tears stinging their eyes at this beautiful moment.

"Thanks Dad. I love you." She whispered cuddling up into his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Love you too Liv, always." He whispered back before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and both of them pretending to turn their attention back to the screen.

****

**Jefferson residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Friday, April 17th 2009**

**9.36 pm**

"Ok now the kids have gone to bed and Cragen's gone to hang out with the boys it's gift time!" Casey squealed.

"Oh guys." Olivia groaned as the women pulled out piles of gifts and placed them in front of Olivia.

"We know you said no gifts but we couldn't help it this is your bachelorette party and you're going to enjoy it." Alex replied handing her the first gift bag while Melinda pulled out a camera.

Olivia saw there was no name on the label and opened it to find a sash, crown and wand.

"Put them on!" Melinda called and Olivia put the items on and grinned cheekily for a photograph before continuing to the second gift which was off Casey.

"Really?" Olivia gasped in shock horror a laugh playing on her lips as she pulled very lacy garments from the box.

"Well you said you weren't sure about the underwear you'd chosen to go with your dress so now you have a choice, I think Elliot won't mind either way!" Casey replied laughing hysterically.

Olivia smiled and quickly placed the garments in the box, Maureen and Kathleen were still in the room as was Anne, three people who Olivia could go a lifetime without letting see her undergarments.

The next gift bag was from Anne and Don, Olivia gave her a grateful smile as she began pulling out small boxes which contained her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

"That's old." Anne explained for the first box Olivia picked up.

It was an antique diamond and pearl drop necklace and Olivia looked at her Mother in shock, she'd seen this item twice before.

"I wore that for both marriages, it's only right that the first daughter of mine to get married should have it." Anne smiled, the truth was she wouldn't have given it to her other daughter who had been estranged from the family having taken a new job in Miami and had said she'd 'try' and be back for the wedding which told everyone not to hold their breath.

"Mom I ..."

"Yes you can." She replied firmly.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled reaching out for her mother's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Now that's you something new." She explained and Olivia opened it to find a pair of diamond and pearl drop earrings not indifferent to the necklace.

"Wow they match perfectly!" Olivia noticed as she held the chain and earrings side by side.

"I had them made so if you decide to wear them tomorrow then they'll match." Anne explained.

"They're beautiful." Olivia smiled getting teary eyed.

"No tears come on you've still got your borrowed and blue to go!" Anne laughed and Olivia picked up the third box.

She opened it slowly and found a blue and white garter and a pair of white stockings.

"Mom!" Olivia gasped.

"What?" Anne asked innocently as Olivia turned scarlet and everyone else laughed.

"Thank you." Olivia smiled thinking it was quite funny that her mother, the upper class woman had some sense of romance and a bit of a kinky side to her.

"Well that's your something blue so come on open your something borrowed." She smiled.

Olivia nodded and picked it up to find a simple piece of ribbon and she looked up at her mother in confusion.

"That is the ribbon from your father's first wife's wedding dress, he wanted you to have a part of her with you in the same way you'll have a piece of me and Cole with you." She explained smiling, it had been Cragen's idea but she hadn't objected one bit as she thought it was a lovely way for them to remember their lost ones on such a joyous occasion.

All in all Olivia was spoilt rotten by her friends and when it was finally time to turn in that night they could only be excited and nervous for the next day.

****

**I leave for the hotel in less than 12 hours, will be away from the computer for around 48 hours so I am trying to finish this story before I go. Only one chapter left guys I'm afraid but the sequel is in the works, there will be an epilogue to prepare you for the sequel which I will then write when I have finished AFTER UNDERCOVER, RAPE TRAUMA SYNDROME, REGAINING LOVE AND LOST IN TRANSITION, I know it's a lot of writing but I have a hectic few weeks, a lot to be spent on trains and so that's where I do my best writing and so maybe they'll get done! **

**3 SteffieDawn 3**


	55. Chapter 55

**Thank you for reviews/alerts/favourites. I hope this next chapter pleases as much.**

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, April 18th 2009**

**7.34 am**

Fin, Elliot, Munch and Cragen all sat around the kitchen table sipping their coffees. The only noise in the room was their uneven breaths and the soft ticking of the kitchen clock which Elliot had glanced at twelve times in the last three minutes.

"Time's not going to go by faster just because you're looking at the clock son." Cragen smiled reassuringly.

"I know, but this morning is going by so slowly, I just want to be at the Church telling the world how much I love Olivia you know." He explained weakly.

The men around the table looked at Elliot who was now staring into his coffee. They knew that the two detectives were head over heels in love with each other, that was evident, but seeing him openly talk about how much he loved her was a whole new thing for all of them, Cragen included and he'd heard the have sex more times than he would ever admit.

"Come on Stabler, drink up, it will keep you going." Fin interjected, the last thing he could deal with was a nerve wracked Elliot.

"Yeah Fin's right Elliot." Munch added hoping it would make a difference but it didn't.

"Well fella's I'm going to wake Dickie up and then get ready, Anne will murder me if I am not there for eight thirty." Cragen smiled pushing out his chair as Munch and Fin chuckled.

"Just make sure she gets to the church Don, on time, I don't want none of the 'bride has to be late' bullshit." Elliot mumbled almost absentmindedly as he continued to stare into his half empty mug.

"She'll be there Elliot." Cragen replied giving Elliot's shoulder one last reassuring squeeze before he went to pull on his suit.

Elliot couldn't deny to anyone that he was nervous. A million thoughts whooshed through his mind, the worst one being that Olivia wouldn't turn up to the wedding and ditch him. He knew inside that she would never do that, he knew she loved him almost as much as he loved her, but that didn't calm the raging fear coursing its way through his body.

****

**Jefferson Residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, April 18th 2009**

**8.31 am**

Olivia sat back in her chair giggling with Nicole and trying to keep her mind off the nerves she was feeling. She wore a simple white silk robe over her pyjamas and her hair was set into rollers ready to be styled later on, once the hairdresser was finished with everyone else.

Don Cragen walked into the room to squeals from Melissa who got a firm warning from the hairdresser not to move as a hot curling iron was in her long blonde hair, it was hip long now and Olivia had decided it would be the death of her to let the little girl have it any shorter, or longer for that matter and the only way of keeping it the way it was, was with regular trims at the hairdresser.

"How are you?" Cragen asked once he came to sit beside Olivia.

"Terrified." She replied. "How's El?"

"Terrified." He smiled making her laugh a little.

"It's really happening isn't it?" She asked shakily.

"Yeah." He nodded as Anne walked into the room also already dressed in a coral dress suit with ivory shirt underneath.

"Don." She smiled accepting the gentle kiss and embrace from her husband, it had been mere months since they had both admitted their love to one another, taken their own vows and it was hard for both of them seeing their adopted daughter doing the same thing.

"You look beautiful." Don smiled at his wife.

"Thank you. You look very handsome, Olivia chose well." She replied, Olivia had spent hours planning everything down to the last detail, the suits, the colours, the flowers, the cake, the whole lot just to make sure today was perfect.

"Mommy what d'ya think?" Melly asked showing off her now finished hair.

"Wow Melly you look brilliant!" Olivia beamed.

She did. Her long blond hair was in perfect ringlets the top half had been clipped to the back with a diamond butterfly slide in clip.

"You like it?" Melly asked admiring it in the mirror.

"Yeah baby Mommy likes it." Olivia smiled happily, it was just what she had imagined.

Alex, Casey and Warner both had their hair curled too, but their ringlets were far looser and they had the same clip as Melly holding their hair to the side over their shoulders.

"Now the bride." The hair dresser smiled as Anne took Melly and Nicole with Don to get them into their dresses while Olivia finished getting her hair styled.

****

**Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, April 18th 2009**

**9.06 am**

"Well?" Elliot asked walking into the living room to join his son and best friends.

"Wow you look very handsome!" Munch quipped making everyone laugh.

"Dad can you do this thingy for me?" Dickie asked, he'd been trying to work his coral cravat for a while now and he still couldn't figure it out.

"Come here buddy." Elliot smiled kneeling down to help his son with the garment.

The four men were dressed exactly the same as Don Cragen. Coral coloured cravat's with silver waist coats and a morning style suit, just what Olivia had wanted.

"One more thing!" Fin smiled pulling open a white box and revealing the coral lily and pearl button hole Olivia had requested.

Fin pinned the - in his words 'very feminine' flower into place on Elliot's suit jacket and then Munch answered the door to the photographer.

"I thought you were supposed to meet us at the Church?" Elliot scowled.

"No sir, your fiancé wanted photos of the four of you here, then I'm to go to the church to get some of the guests arriving as well as the bride." He explained.

"Ok well what do you want us to do?" Elliot asked knowing Olivia would have very specific requests.

****

**Jefferson residence, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, April 18th 2009**

**9.22 am**

Olivia stared at her reflection in the floor length mirror. Her hand subconsciously rubbed down the front of her brilliant white dress, smoothing out any and all creases as it went. There was a gentle knock on the door and Olivia called the person in and raised her head to look as Cragen walked in.

"You ok?" He asked her as she gently straightened out the tiny silk rose band holding her veil and hair quiff in place.

"Yeah." She replied as he sat down on the bed watching her play with her shoulder length curls.

"You look very beautiful." He whispered trying hard to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Thank you." She smiled at him in the mirror, their eyes connecting momentarily.

"You nearly ready?" He asked her.

"Yeah." She nodded reaching over for the white box on her pillow.

She slowly pulled out the bouquet of exotic coral and white lily flowers covered with coral and white pearls and small silver diamante's before turning back to the mirror and looked how the flowers looked with her dress.

"Everyone else ready?" She asked feeling happy with her appearance.

"Ready and waiting." He smiled as she fumbled with the diamond and pearl drop necklace her mother had given her the previous night.

"Let's go down and meet everyone and get ready to go." She smiled knowing that in an hour she'd be standing at the altar.

****

**Blessed Heart's Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, April 18th 2009**

**9.46 am**

Elliot paced the front of the altar nervously as Fin, Munch and Dickie showed the guests to their seats, Olivia had really worked hard making a seating arrangement so that the superior officers who had seemingly invited themselves, would be sat far enough away from their friends and welcomed guests.

"How much longer?" Elliot groaned to Dickie who'd just come over to check that he was alright.

"Fifteen minutes Dad, I'd say twenty though, she'll probably be five minutes late." Dickie winked before carrying on with his duties and letting Elliot stir.

Fifteen minutes? Fifteen minutes until he would see his beautiful bride. Fifteen minutes before he began to declare his love to Olivia Benson in front of the world, a love that had pained him for too many years. She was finally going to be his.

****

**En route to Blessed Heart's Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, April 18th 2009**

**9.51 am**

Olivia clutched to Don Cragen's hand as the car left the Jefferson home. He gave it a gentle squeeze and tried to keep calm as he remembered back to his own wedding day and remembering how terrified he had been that Anne wouldn't show up. He'd sent the text to Fin to tell him they would be there in ten minutes and that they had left and he'd received a very funny reply which he'd shown Olivia to make her smile.

_Good, El will blow if she'd late, nervous enough already. _

"Liv." He whispered.

"Yeah?" She replied turning her attention from the floor to her father.

"Still time to change your mind you know." He winked making her smile and let out a shallow nervous breath.

"Never." She replied.

****

**Blessed Heart's Church, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, April 18th 2009**

**10.01 am**

The Rolls Royce pulled up outside the church and Olivia sat nervously as the bridesmaids , flower girls and mother of the bride pulled out of the limousine in front of them. The coral and white looked wonderful from ribbons and exotic flowers which marked the outside of the church leading the path inside.

"Ready?" Cragen asked as he opened the door and offered her his hand.

"Ready." She nodded taking his hand to use as leverage to step her white stiletto heels onto the gravel she'd walked on three times before, Michael's funeral, Cole's funeral, Don and Anne's wedding and now, her own wedding, to Elliot Stabler.

Anne gave Olivia a last kiss and Olivia gave a kiss to Nicole before everyone lined up in the order they'd practised in.

The song The Prayer filled the church Olivia could just see Anne's large cream hat walk into the church carrying a bouncing Nicole.

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.

And help us to be wise in times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way

Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace

Elliot and Olivia had chosen this song for the bridesmaids together and as he took a deep and nervous breath he heard the echoing lyrics sting the air gracefully. He smiled when he saw a smiling Anne carrying Nicole Anne down the aisle, she was gurgling and almost smiling in a frilly white dress with coral sash, a small white ribbon around her short dark hair with a simple coral rose on the side.

To a place where we'll be safe

La luce che tu hai

[I pray we'll find your light]

Nel cuore resterà

[And hold it in our hearts.]

A ricordarci che

[When stars go out each night,]

Olivia hummed the song in her head, she'd loved it for many years and when she had played it to Elliot once on a stake out he had admitted it was a very beautiful song, he'd also said she had a very beautiful voice as she'd sang the English translation of the lyrics over Andrea Bochelli.

Eterna stella sei

Nella mia preghiera

[Let this be our prayer]

Quanta fede c'è

[When shadows fill our day]

Melly walked out right on cue which was as soon as she saw Anne step to the side. She grinned happily as she stepped her perfect white sandals and frilly socks into the long aisle of the church throwing white and coral petals to the floor.

Elliot gave her a reassuring smile but she was happy enough without it. He loved Olivia's choice of dress for her, this was the first time he'd be seeing any of the bride's girls outfits as Olivia had been very secretive keeping them in Anne Jefferson's house out of the way so he couldn't stumble on them accidentally.

The dress was chiffon, as was all the dresses Olivia had been very specific about having them match each other, it fell beautifully down to just above Melissa's ankles, the top half up to the waist was coral, then the skirt was white with a coral bottom and a small line of pearls along the waist separating the top and bottom halves from each other.

Olivia bounced nervously, she couldn't see Melly and hoped she hadn't let her nerves get the better of her, from where she was standing she couldn't see if everything was ok and she was worried. Cragen stroked her arm gently hoping to calm her down a little, reassure her that everything was ok.

Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe

Sogniamo un mondo senza più violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza

Ognuno lo dia la mano al suo vicino

Simbolo di pace, di fraternità

Lizzie went next wearing the exact same spaghetti strap dress as Melly had, just in a slightly larger size as she was taller. Elliot beamed proudly at his youngest biological daughter, he was just as proud of Melissa too and considered her just as much his daughter. Lizzie was in all her glory as she walked throwing more petals onto the coral carpet that Olivia and Elliot had spent too much money on just to line from the bottom of the church steps to the end of the aisle and crossed in front of the alter.

La forza che ci dà

[We ask that life be kind]

È il desiderio che

[And watch us from above]

Ognuno trovi amor

[We hope each soul will find]

Intorno e dentro sé

[Another soul to love]

Let this be our prayer [Let this be our prayer],

Just like every child

Need to find a place, guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe

È la fede che

Hai acceso in noi,

Sento che ci salverà

The song ended just before Maureen and Kathleen were to step out, Olivia waited nervously for the transition into the next song, the five seconds it took felt like a lifetime as she was done waiting now, she just wanted to marry the man she'd been dreaming about for too long.

The introduction into Footprints in the sand by Leona Lewis prepared Kathleen and Maureen who would be walking side by side in matching dresses.

You walked with me  
>Footprints in the sand<br>And helped me understand  
>Where I'm going<p>

You walked with me  
>When I was all alone<br>With so much unknown  
>Along the way<p>

Elliot's breath hitched when he saw his two eldest children walk down the aisle, they were both truly beautiful but they also looked all grown up and he realised his little girls weren't little girls anymore.

Then I heard you say

I promise you  
>I'm always there<br>When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair  
>I'll carry you<br>When you need a friend  
>You'll find my footprints in the sand<p>

Their hair was in a tight pulled back up do with the same matching clip as everyone else pinned at the side. Their dresses were plain coral, chiffon, floor length A line skirt with two thick straps and a v neck. A small ruffle at the waist separated the top half from the skirt and Olivia had gotten a few small diamante's added after deciding the dresses were too plain.

I see my life  
>Flash across the sky<br>So many times have I been so afraid

And just when I  
>I thought I'd lost my way<br>You gave me strength to carry on

Next to walk was Melinda, it had been impossible to choose a maid of honour so Olivia had chosen all three of her best friends to do the job. They all had matching dresses different to the younger women who had walked out before them. They would walk down only four steps behind one another to speed up the process and Olivia knew once they arrived the front the song would change and she would walk down to the song she had chosen, she had chosen it and told no one what the song was as it was a song that told the Church, her family, Elliot exactly what he future soon to be husband meant to her.

That's when I heard you say

I promise you  
>I'm always there<br>When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair  
>And I'll carry you<br>When you need a friend  
>You'll find my footprints in the sand<br>When I'm weary  
>Well I know you'll be there<br>And I can feel you  
>When you say<p>

Elliot smiled at Melinda who was walking in front and then at Casey and then at Alex. He was surprised by the dresses Olivia had chosen, not that he was a man who knew much about fashion but these three women were completely different in body shape and sizes but yet they all looked very nice in the floor length chiffon strapless dresses with large cream lilies at the shoulder with white ribbon dripping to their waist from the design.

I promise you  
>Oh, I'm always there<br>When your heart is filled with sadness and despair  
>I'll carry you<br>When you need a friend  
>You'll find my footprints in the sand<p>

When your heart is full of sadness and despair  
>I'll carry you<br>When you need a friend  
>You'll find my footprints in the sand<p>

The song slowly came to an end just as Alex stepped to the side to stand beside Casey and then they nervously waited for the song to change, every single one of the bridesmaids excited to hear the song Olivia had chosen.

As the introduction into the song played the congregation rose to their feet expecting the bride who was clinging to her father's arm. They weren't going to be moving till the singer began and the introduction was fifty five seconds long and both Olivia and Elliot's hearts hammered hard in their chest as they waited for the moment they clasped their eyes on one another.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;  
>When troubles come and my heart burdened be;<br>Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,  
>Until you come and sit awhile with me.<p>

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
>You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;<br>I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
>You raise me up... To more than I can be.<p>

Olivia and Cragen stepped into the Church. She didn't hear any of the congregation "oohing" and "Ahhing" her eyes clasped firmly on Elliot's and his did on hers.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
>You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;<br>I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
>You raise me up... To more than I can be.<p>

There is no life - no life without its hunger;  
>Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;<br>But when you come and I am filled with wonder,  
>Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.<p>

His breath was snatched from his lungs as he saw the radiating beauty coming from Olivia. Tears stung his eyes as he felt the love emulating from her. She smiled broadly, she was happy, ecstatic that this moment was finally here.

Alex, Casey, Melinda, Maureen and Kathleen all blinked back their tears but to no avail. Them, Munch and Fin and Cragen and Anne were the only ones who knew that this song was chosen to reflect Olivia's love for Elliot, he knew too, but he also know the deeper meaning behind the song for the two of them. It was the first romantic love song they'd sang along to together. It had been a Sunday and they were both cleaning the house together, the singing turned into hot passionate sex on the couch but that wasn't the point of it.

Hearts beating, palms sweating, tears forming, in both of them at the exact same moment in time. Their nerves had gone, the only emotion they felt at that exact moment was love, for each other. Olivia's dress suited her perfectly. The chiffon A line skirt with sweep train fell perfectly to the floor, the one strap with a frill going all the way around her back across her breasts meeting at the shoulder, the embellishment of a lily in diamonds and pearls underneath her right breast just epitomised Olivia's beauty.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
>You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;<br>I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
>You raise me up... To more than I can be.<p>

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
>You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;<br>I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
>You raise me up... To more than I can be.<p>

They reached the front of the Church and Elliot waited for the priest to step up as the song slowly came to an end. Cragen gave a gentle squeeze to Olivia's hand as he wiped his tears from his cheek, he had never felt so proud in all his life.

You raise me up ... to more than I can be.

The song ended and the priest stepped up to the front and addressed them.

"Who gives this woman to this man?" He asked.

"I do." Cragen called his voice crackling under the strain of keeping his tears at bay.

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently on the cheek as he passed her hand to Elliot's before the soon to be wedded couple stepped forward to say the vows they'd worked on together.

"Today we have gathered to witness the marriage of Olivia Benson-Cragen and Elliot Stabler. Marriage had many meanings but mainly it's about Love. Today we will witness the joining in matrimony of two people who love each other and want to be committed to one another for as long as they are breathing."

The couple barely heard a word as they stared into each other's eyes, not wanting to look away for any reason but when the voice boomed again they knew they would both have to speak now.

"The couple have written their own vows. Elliot would you being?"

Elliot nodded and looked at Olivia with a nervous yet loving smile.

"Olivia Benson-Cragen, today I re-affirm to you how much I am in love with you. I proclaim it to our friends, to our family and to the heavens. I always have and I always will love you, each day that love will grow stronger. I will always be your partner and your best friend but first and foremost I will be the man who loves you more than words can ever describe, Olivia, I'd move the heaven and earth for you." He said his voice shaking slightly with nerves but the 'awwing' from the congregation showed how much those words touched everyone's hearts, not as quite as much as they had affected Olivia who was wiping a tear from her cheek while she smiled happily.

"Olivia?" The priest smiled making her take a deep breath so she could repeat the vows.

"Elliot Stabler, today I re-affirm to you how much I am in love with you. I proclaim it to our friends, to our family and to the heavens. I always have and I always will love you, each day that love will grow stronger. I will always be your partner and your best friend but first and foremost I will be the man who loves you more than words can ever describe, Elliot, I'd move the heaven and earth for you." She told him, she thought her voice was a weak whisper but everyone in the congregation heard every word, the family, including Munch and Fin had been reduced to tears by the vows.

"Now we shall exchange rings."

Dickie rushed up with the box in his hand and carefully passed it over before rushing back to Munch and Fin.

"Elliot place the ring on Olivia's finger and repeat after me ... with this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed." He told her, his eyes fixed firmly on hers.

"And Olivia."

"With this ring, I thee wed." She repeated pushing the ring firmly onto Elliot's finger.

"Now Elliot do you take Olivia to be your lawfully wedded wife, will you love her, honour and protect her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." He replied instantly.

"Olivia do you take Elliot to be your lawfully wedded wife, will you love her, honour and protect her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." She nodded excitedly.

"By the power invested in my by the Church, God and the state of New York I now pronounce you Man and Wife. Elliot you may kiss your bride."

Elliot stepped up and kissed Olivia gently and passionately like it was the first time he was kissing her all over again.

"I give you Mr and Mrs Cragen-Stabler!"

****

**That's it! All over! I am going to write the epilogue now so you'll know where the next story begins, this family is about to get a whole lot bigger! **

**3 SteffieDawn 3**


	56. Epilogue

**Thank you to EVERYONE who has stuck with this story, I am so pleased to see how many of you enjoyed it, this epilogue is actually the first chapter of the sequel which I won't be writing till I finish at least 4 of my other stories which is going to take some time but I wanted you all to have something to look forward to. **

**SIX YEARS LATER (and a bit!)**

****

**16****TH**** PRECINCT, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, August 9th 2015**

**9.12 am**

Olivia stared down at her cell phone. Why send a text when he was just feet away behind a closed door.

Need to speak to you, come here, Dad x

He signed it Dad, that meant he wanted to talk to her on a father/daughter basis and not as her superior and that's why he probably didn't want to shout her name across the bullpen.

She had been staring at the screen for a good ten minutes, she was feeling to nauseated to move and was just hoping the feeling would pass soon, Melissa had gotten a bug in school which lead to all her children getting sick and she knew it would be a matter of time before she would get it too, as would Cragen, Elliot, and Anne but right now she knew she had to make her way over to see what her father wanted.

She didn't bother knocking at his door and he smiled when she walked in and sat down in front of the old wooden desk.

"You wanted me?" She asked.

"I sent you that text nearly fifteen minutes ago how come it took you so long?" He asked worried.

"I think I've gotten that bug from the kids." She explained.

"Do you have a fever?" He asked.

"No, I don't think so." She replied.

"The girls had a fever first, then the vomiting." He explained. "They had a twenty four hour fever followed by twenty four hours of vomiting and nausea, have you been sick?" He asked being a typical concerned father even if she was a grown woman.

"No I haven't, anyway, why did you want to see me?" She asked wanting to move the conversation along, she knew he wouldn't have called her into the office without a reason and she wanted to know what that reason was and fast because in all honesty she was worrying.

"I wanted to tell you that I have decided well I already have turned my papers in." He told her.

Her mouth fell wide open. They'd not discussed this before, what would happen when he decided to retire, she thought that she'd probably be someplace else working when that time came and it wouldn't affect her in anyway.

"Liv?" Cragen asked gently as she stared like a goldfish.

Her mouth suddenly clamped shut and she turned a sickly shade of green which had him diving for the waste paper bin and placing it on her knee just in time for her to barf her guts out.

"Ok baby girl." He whispered stroking her back in circular motions in the way Elliot had taught him when she was last pregnant, he last pregnancy had been tougher than the others, she'd been on mandatory bed rest at three months and ended up in hospital at seven unable to move.

"Dad." She croaked wiping her chin just before she vomited again.

A sudden realisation hit Cragen. He'd seen Olivia sick like this before and he stared down at her as she lifted her head feeling a little less green now.

"Ok?" He asked her.

She nodded and he rushed out with the waste paper bin leaving her for a few minutes to think. She felt much better now, even though the sting of vomit in her throat was painful the nauseating feeling had definitely subsided.

Minutes later Cragen came back in and handed her a glass of water and she smiled gratefully as he took back his seat.

"So you were saying?" Olivia asked.

Cragen blinked hard and stared at her disapprovingly.

"What?" She asked.

"Livia... is there ... are you ... could you be pregnant again?"

Olivia turned white again but not because she was going to be sick, because she could easily be pregnant again, she and Elliot still enjoyed a very active sex life, she hadn't even begun going through menopause and they hadn't exactly been careful.

"Liv?"

"I guess ... I guess there is." She whispered hoarsely.

She'd not had her period in two months, she'd put it down to starting to go through the change and decided she'd see a doctor 'when she had a chance'.

"You need to see a doctor, make an appointment." He replied, he needed to know if she was going to be the same as she was two years ago, he'd never seen her looking so frail as she was through her last pregnancy.

"I will, I'll call Melinda first, she did all my pregnancy tests." Olivia replied. "Anyway, you turned in your papers, care to explain further?"

"Yes." He nodded. "Your mother and I have been talking, it's not like I need to work, and to be very honest with you Livia I'm not as fit as I used to be, the long hours and stress isn't good for me and I would like to just settle down and be with my wife and daughter and grandchildren."

"Ok. So do we get a new Captain? Is Munch going to take the job?" She asked as she was worried someone horrible would end up coming in.

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Munch has refused the job. Said every time I was suspended he hated being in charge." Cragen explained with a slight laugh. "John's here because he wants to be, he's a retired homicide detective who decided to give sex crimes a go."

"And pay four alimony checks to his ex-wives." Olivia sniggered lightly.

"Yeah."

"Ok so who get's it someone new?" She asked not liking the idea of someone new coming and destroying their family unit.

"No, not someone new, at first the brass thought of Elliot but he isn't eligible because of the amount of notes in his jacket."

Olivia frowned, if it wasn't Elliot and it wasn't Munch that meant Fin would be Captain, she wasn't sure she'd be able to take Fin seriously as her superior, he was her baby brother, always had been.

"Olivia, one police plaza asked me if you'd be up for the job." He said seeing her frown.

"M-M-ME?" She stuttered pointing at herself her eyes wide in horror.

"Yes you." He replied smiling gently. "If you want it, then it's yours."

"Me?" She asked again. "Captain?"

"Captain Cragen the second." He beamed making her laugh even though she hadn't quite got over the initial shock.

"What if I don't want it?" She asked eventually her brow furrowed and her eyes fixed on the desk rather than at her father.

"Then they either offer it to Fin or bring in someone new." He explained.

"But what about Elliot, he's my partner." Olivia whispered, the shock was still there but she had questions.

"Ahh, well, one pp realised you'd have an issue there so if you take the job your first job as Captain is to hire two new detectives, Elliot with still be your partner, a second in command to you without the title, he's already a sergeant, you'll still get to work cases together just not as many cases, less of the leg work and more of the commanding." He explained.

"Can I talk to Elliot about it before making a decision?" She asked nervously.

"Yes but one pp want to know by lunch time." He replied.

"Ok, I'll go see Warner first, maybe I'll have two pieces of news to discuss with my husband." Olivia sighed, she and Elliot had not been using any contraception both of them bringing their kids up as Catholics they didn't want to be hypocritical but they'd both said they didn't want any more children.

"Liv what are you going to do if you are?" Cragen asked, she was already clasping her stomach subconsciously rubbing her thumb across.

"Keep it of course." She replied.

"But the doctors ..."

"I know. I know they said there's a chance I could never carry to full term again and I know I'm nearly fifty but I became Catholic Dad, I won't have an abortion, if there is a baby and it's meant to be it will be, it will be God's will." She replied firmly, she'd accepted that the last time she miscarried a pregnancy.

"You had a heck of a pregnancy last time Livia, you could have died." Cragen whispered.

"But I didn't, whatever is meant to be will be, que sera Dad." She replied getting to her feet. "I'll call you as soon as I know."

"You not going to tell Elliot first?" He asked.

"Bar Nikki I always told you first." She smirked.

"Good point, go on, I'll ring Warner give her the heads up that you're on your way." He smiled and she nodded before rushing out needing to know if she was pregnant and fast.

****

**ME's Office, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, August 9th 2015**

**10.32 am**

"You know the drill." Melinda smiled handing Olivia a small tub.

"Yeah I've done it what ... seven times in the past five years?" Olivia laughed gently before walking towards the bathroom thinking over what she had just said, seven pregnancy tests in five years, some negative, some positive.

Five minutes later and Olivia was handing the urine filled pot back to Melinda who dropped in a stick before turning to face Olivia as she sat down on the silver metal stool.

"Liv have you thought about what you're going to do if this is positive?" Melinda asked gently.

"Yes, I'm keeping it, I'm Catholic, bringing my children up to be good Catholic's and we don't believe in abortions." She replied firmly, she'd not always been religious but she and Elliot took the kids to Church every Sunday and she sent her kids to the best Catholic privet school there was in Manhattan and now she believed, listening to the priest week in week out had instilled that belief inside her, and she had spent the years trying to live like a Catholic.

"But Olivia, you've miscarried three times, your last pregnancy had you hospitalised, you know how much risk there is to you and a baby if there is one?" She asked gently, she knew Olivia was trying to do the right thing but as a doctor and a friend she felt it her place to explain the dangers.

"I know Mel, I really do, but if I'm expecting again then I am, if there's a baby and it's meant to be it will be and if I ... if something happens to me because of the baby then that is what will happen." She explained shakily.

"I know, I just don't want anything to happen to you, now do you want me to look?" She asked gently.

"Yeah just tell me." She replied the same thing she'd always replied.

"Well Liv, I can tell you that there's another Cragen-Stabler on the way." She sighed showing the stick to Olivia.

"So I'm pregnant again?" Olivia asked heavily.

"Yeah you're pregnant again Livia." Melinda nodded.

"Gee." Olivia sighed. "Ok, thank you."

"Olivia..." Melinda called as Olivia began to leave just wanting to call her father and break the news to him before going to meet Elliot for brunch.

"Yeah?" Olivia asked her shoulders slouching showing just how hard this was for her.

"You know whatever decision you make I'm ok with that." Melinda smiled reassuringly.

"I know, thanks Mel." Olivia replied before rushing out to the corridor to catch the breath hitched in her lungs.

So many thoughts rushed through her head. She could only remember how awful her last successful pregnancy had been.

"_Elliot can you check that the kids are ok?" Olivia called from the basement of their new home. They'd moved because with Olivia expecting again they needed the room and Olivia had wanted a change. _

"_Your mother is with them!" He called back, did she not know he was fixing a toilet?_

"_Ok!" She replied as she began to climb the ladder to put the new shade into place for the room which would eventually be an office for herself, Elliot and Don having caught Melissa looking through case files when she was eleven and then getting nightmares about their perps the family had decided to make sure that couldn't happen again, especially with Nicole learning to read and reading anything she could get her hands on, even if she only understood some letters, she'd soon figure it all out. _

_As she struggled to place the shade over the light a sharp pain shot through her, she was three months pregnant and she wasn't expecting this. _

"_El!" She yelled as another pain ripped through her abdomen and she dropped the glass shade to grab her small bump before tumbling from the ladder onto the floor and blacking out. _

The fall hadn't caused the complications in her pregnancy, it just hadn't help, it was the complications that had caused her fall and eventual blackout and trip to ER followed by being confined to her bed for the rest of her pregnancy, even with young children running around.

"Hey Daddy." Olivia relaxed when she heard her father's usual bark into the phone.

Hey darling, well what's the verdict? His voice was tense and Olivia could tell it was from the nerves.

"Melinda confirms that I am expecting." She said weakly before the tears flooded down her face and she fell forward onto her knees.

_Oh baby, hey Liv don't cry, we'll figure this out._ Cragen cooed over the phone as he grabbed his keys.

"I don't think I can do this again ... what happens if everything goes bad again or I lose the baby or I die? Daddy I can't do this." She sobbed hard into the phone.

Melinda had heard her sobbing and rushed from her office. She knelt down beside Olivia and gently caressed her back wanting to calm her down, if there was going to be complications in this pregnancy the last thing Olivia wanted was a high blood pressure.

_Where are you Olivia?_ Cragen asked as he rushed towards his car.

"ME's." She replied hoarsely.

_I'm on my way, hold tight baby_. He replied before hanging up and dialling Elliot, he knew that Olivia needed her husband right now.

"Come on Olivia, come back to the office and sit down." Melinda cooed, she needed to get Olivia off the hardwood floor and into a chair fast so she could check her blood pressure and make sure she wasn't doing any danger to herself or the baby.

Olivia's mind was in turmoil. She followed every order Melinda gave her without questioning but she was scared, petrified even, and she needed her father and her husband and fast.

"Liv I need you to take deep calm breaths for me, your blood pressure's quite high, I want to bring it down in the next ten minutes or I am taking you to the ER." Melinda said firmly, this was her best friend and she wasn't about to let her kill herself or her unborn child or as it would become a joke, children.

When Elliot and Cragen burst into the office Melinda had managed to bring Olivia's blood pressure down. Elliot wrapped his arms around his wife and held her tight as she broke down once more, this time because she knew she wasn't alone and that she was safe.

"Baby it's ok, we'll figure this out." Elliot cooed as Cragen and Melinda stood back and watched.

"What if – what if – what if this baby doesn't make it?" She sobbed, she knew she couldn't deal with another miscarriage.

"Then it doesn't make it, but we need to have hope Olivia." Elliot whispered gently trying to calm her down.

"I want you to take her to see a doctor today, if she doesn't calm down soon she'd going to faint because her blood pressure will sky rocket." Melinda told both Elliot and Cragen.

"We'll do that now." Elliot nodded before scooping Olivia up into his arms and carrying her out the door.

"Thank you Melinda." Cragen smiled weakly before following his daughter and son in law out the door.

****

**OBGYN, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, August 9th 2015**

**10.41 am**

"Well you're definitely pregnant Olivia." Doctor Whitney smiled, she'd been there for all of Olivia's pregnancies.

Olivia just stared at the screen, unsure of what she was actually feeling at that exact moment.

"One or Two?" Elliot asked.

"I'd say just the one this time." Doctor Whitney smiled.

"Yeah that's what you said last time." Olivia laughed. "I won't take your word for it."

"Fair point, your little monsters seemed to enjoy hide and seek." Doctor Whitney laughed back.

"Ok so what now, with everything?" Elliot asked nervously as Doctor Whitney pulled some blue roll for Olivia to clean the gel from her stomach.

"Well I want you to have weekly appointments, just to be safe, I know you won't abort, you made that clear last time but I will be honest with the two of you, the chances are you won't carry to full term but as you're eleven weeks pregnant, get passed the next week and we can begin to relax a little more." Doctor Whitney smiled gently, she wanted to reassure her friend as much as calm the fears of her patient.

"Ok, so get passed the next week." Olivia repeated.

"Yeah, you know all the rules, but I'd be extra careful until we get out of the first trimester and then we'll see how it goes." Doctor Whitney explained.

"Ok, so see you in a week?" Olivia asked sitting up.

"Yup." Doctor Whitney grinned. "See you in a week and calm me any time if there's a problem Olivia."

"I will thank you." Olivia smiled before taking Elliot's hand and going to meet a nervous Don Cragen.

He jumped when he saw them, he'd been sat for nearly thirty minutes collecting thoughts.

"Eleven weeks, once I'm out of the first trimester we can relax a little more." She explained.

"You were twelve weeks last time." He noted, he'd been with Olivia every step of the way for each of her pregnancies.

"Then we wait until the thirteenth, come on, I'm hungry and we have more news to share with you Elliot." Olivia smiled.

"Wait more news to share not a decision to make?" Cragen asked ignoring the confused from fixed on Elliot's brow.

"Yeah, I think it's a decision I need to make on my own Dad, I've made it." She smiled and he broke out into a wide grin confusing Elliot even more.

"Someone ..."

"Let's go for lunch and we'll tell you." Olivia laughed, she was suddenly very happy, a life was growing inside of her, she'd heart the heart beat and seen the picture and she was ecstatic and now she had one more thing to look forward to.

****

**16****TH**** PRECINCT, Manhattan, New York**

**Saturday, August 9th 2015**

**4.53 pm**

"Don't you dare lift that." Cragen warned from where he was packing more books into a box.

"I wasn't ..."

"Don't lie to me either." He snapped jokingly.

"Ok sorry, force of habit." She smiled picking up one of the photo frames from the desk and leaving the heavy box for Elliot.

She looked down at the photo and grinned as she saw a picture of her family, her very large and still growing family.

The picture sent her to the day it was taken, just one year ago when the family had a barbeque in the back garden. Fin had bought a new digital camera and informed them he wanted a family picture of the Cragen-Stabler, he hadn't had one of all of them together since their new arrivals.

Olivia and Elliot were sat side by side with two year old Alyah also known as Ali on her lap and Elysah also known as Eli on Elliot's lap. Behind them were Melly and Nikki, and beside them were four year old Liliana Christine also known as Lili and Alexandra Charlotte known as Lexi, with Don and Anne kneeling beside them, their perfect family. Melly was eleven now, she'd grown so much in the year since this photograph had been taken, grown both in height and behaviour, she wasn't Mommy's little girl any more. Nicole was six now, she wasn't a baby either, she went to school with her two little sisters who she was very close too because of the almost exact year (bar to days) that was between them, they'd been conceived on the eighteenth of April 2009, the day Elliot and Olivia got married, it had been such a special year for them having Nikki born on the 1st of April and then the twins born on the 30th December. 'Perfect start and perfect end' Elliot had told her and she had been obliged to agree, it was perfect.

After Lili and Lexi Olivia had miscarried twice, it had been a tough time for both her and Elliot and she'd then decided that she was too old to have any more children and she didn't sleep with Elliot for a long time, both of them ending up arguing with each other because of the pent up sexual tension and when Olivia had finally given in, her miracle babies had been conceived, Alyah Hope and Elysah Joy. When the complications happened she'd been warned that if she made it to full term there was a huge risk of them being still born and she agreed on having them delivered by C-section at Mercy General Hospital on the thirteenth of April 2012, they were three years old now and so far there had been no problems with them being born two weeks sooner than planned.

Ali and Eli were the youngest at the moment, Olivia had been pregnant once since and that ended in a miscarriage at six weeks just two days after she had found out she was pregnant, she'd cried herself to sleep for a week blaming herself and she almost broke down completely, her children got her through it in the end.

Olivia was happy with the family she had, there was no denying that. She had six beautiful children, six little girls who she loved and cherished with all her heart. Then there was still the four Stabler children, Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth and Richard (they'd dropped Lizzie and Dickie since they were twelve saying they were too old bar Elliot who refused to call them anything else).

"What are you thinking?" Cragen asked pulling Olivia from her thoughts into the real world.

"We look so happy." She explained turning the photograph round to show him.

"We are so happy." He smiled at her and she nodded in agreement.

"I can't believe how amazing these past six years have been." She whispered. "I know there have been ups and downs along the way with the miscarriages and stuff but I have six happy and healthy daughters, couldn't have asked anyone for anymore."

"I know the feeling, I have a very beautiful and intelligent daughter, a very lovely son in law and six beautiful grandchildren, I know exactly how you feel Olivia." He whispered pulling her into a gentle embrace, they shared moments like this as often as they could, Olivia treasured every minute she got to spend with her father.

"I love you dad." She whispered as he kissed her temple.

"I love you too Liv." He replied pulling out of the embrace. "Now, these, are yours." He smirked handing her the office keys. "Good luck Captain Cragen the second."

"Thank you." She beamed and she watched as he walked out with a box under his arm.

He'd be back in a moment to get more boxes but seeing him walking out made all of this seem all the more real, she was captain now, she was pregnant captain now.

****

**Well the epilogue/first chapter of a sequel, what do you think? Let me know if you want to know what happens next, I have some big and crazy ideas for this sequel but if you think there's no point then I can use them in other stories. **

**Thanks again for everyone who followed this story and I hope you like the way I'm leaving it (for now)**

**3 SteffieDawn 3**


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